Gawker: defamer, evening gown tamperings

Was Beauty Queen Martyr Miss Puerto Rico Lying?

Seth — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 13:00:54 EST

Perhaps we're a bit naive when it comes to the things we're told by beauty pageant winners, so blinded by their laser-whitened smiles and duct-tape fastened cleavage that we fail to properly scrutinize unlikely claims regarding commitment to world peace and "feeding the starving Africanese children." So you'll forgive us when we noted without suspicion a news item in which reigning Miss Puerto Rico Universe Ingrid Marie Rivera claimed that an unknown saboteur covered her stage wardrobe in pepper spray. What seemed at first a feat of superhuman, pageant-queen-mind- over-chemical-irritant-matter has now raised questions from incredulous authorities:

Police are now said to be investigating just how Ingrid Marie Rivera was able to stop crying between camera appearances at Saturday's pageant, if indeed her gown and makeup had been sabotaged with the spray, as she asserts, NBC News reports.
The reported skepticism about Rivera prompted Today show host Meredith Vieira to inquire on Tuesday's broadcast if, possibly, crime-scene investigators believe the pepper-spray claim may have been imaginary.

"They're saying, they think she made it up?" Vieira asked reporter Kerry Sanders, who replied: "They're looking into it. They're curious."

Vieira has an interview scheduled with Rivera tomorrow, during which we imagine the Today host will drop the nice-lady act for a brutal interrogation beneath hot studio lights, refusing to acknowledge commercial cues until the mascara-streaked crown-holder finally crumbles, admitting through short-breathed sobs that it was she who soaked her own body in pepper spray, after hastily reaching into her purse for some spray-on tanner and pulling out the wrong tube.

Mystery Deepens in Miss Puerto Rico Pepper-Spray Incident [People]

Miss Puerto Rico's Ability To Smile Through The Pepper Spray Sign Of A True Beauty Queen Champion

Seth — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 20:00:31 EST

The world of professional pageanteering is not for the faint-hearted, where fierce competition for a coveted crown has led many an unsuspecting beauty queen to fall victim to cyanide-laced Vaseline poisonings and slipped-mickey stupid pills that cause them to blabber incoherently about the sorry state of U.S. American education. Thankfully, Ingrid Marie Rivera managed to survive her sabotage attempts and go on to take the Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2008 title, but not before succumbing to a severe allergic reaction after her gowns were doused backstage in pepper spray:

Rivera was composed while appearing before cameras and judges throughout the competition. But once backstage, she had to strip off her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which swelled and broke out in hives twice.
Rivera's clothing and makeup later tested positive for pepper spray.

Someone also stole Rivera's bag containing her gowns, makeup and credit cards. And a bomb threat forced pageant officials to postpone the last day of competition on Thursday, said Magali Febles, director of the Miss Puerto Rico Universe pageant.

Clearly, Rivera has enemies—ones who would stop short of nothing to ensure the Latina beauty would not represent the U.S. Caribbean territory at Donald Trump's intergalactic genetic-lottery olympics next May in Nha Tran, Vietnam. Should she go on to flout her rivals and take the Miss Universe title, however, the incident will only serve to her benefit, conditioning her for even more corrosive substances to come at the hands of her conniving Pageant Place co-stars after she takes up her year-long residence at Trump Tower.

Puerto Rico Beauty Queen Survives Pranks [cbsnews.com]