Gawker: defamer, ernest borgnine

Steve Carell Has Shingles

Seth — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:25:41 EDT

· Steve Carell's new production shingle, Carousel Prods., will set up on the Warners lot, run by The Daily Show's Vance DeGeneres and college buddy Charlie Hartsock. "My idea was to partner with friends of mine, people I trusted, with whom I share a certain sensibility," Carell said, confident that employing his friends in these increasingly desperate times means he'll never want for a lift to the airport again. [Variety]
· Everyone's gaga for politics! On the eve of W's premiere, left wing and right wing releases are performing surprisingly well at the box office. (With the exception of An American Carol, as a distaste for unfunniness is the one true uniter.) [Variety]

After the jump: Which legendary Hollywood chicken-choker gets work?

· Hang in there, Ben! NBC is floundering in the ratings, with audiences for Heroes, Chuck, and Life dropping up to 20%. CBS won the night with their Monday comedy lineup that starts with The Big Bang Theory, a show we find ourselves inexplicably drawn to every week. [THR]
· Israeli animated documentary Waltz With Bashir isn't eligible for an Oscar because it failed to adhere to the Academy's one-week-screening-before-Aug. 31 qualifying rule. Which raises the question: couldn't distributor Sony Classics have just ponied up for a run if they were at all interested in winning it a trophy? [THR]
· Serial masturbationist Ernest Borgnine has signed on for Hallmark Channel's The Wishing Well. Just hope you don't fall in. [THR]

Ernest Borgnine Has Discovered the Fountain of Youth, and It Is Masturbation

Kyle Buchanan — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:00:00 EDT

91-year-old actor Ernest Borgnine doesn't look a day over 86, and so it was that when the Golden Globe-brandisher stopped by Fox & Friends to chat about his new book, the hosts demanded to know how he could still look so darned good. Botox? Volumizing? A deal with the devil (or ICM)? None of the above, replied the actor, instead leaning in to whisper, "I masturbate a lot." Sadly, Borgie didn't appear to realize that his mic would still pick up those whispers and beam the Oscar winner's chicken-jerking secret across the globe. Still, we can't wait for the day that masturbation becomes an age-defying staple of salons everywhere (though we've heard there's some "health spas" in West Hollywood where it's already common practice). [Fox News]

Ain't No Party Like An Ernest Borgnine Golden Globes Party

Mark — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 14:35:09 EST

Though the cancellation of Golden Globes ceremony forced the Hallmark Channel to grudgingly call off its annual after-party, considered by many to be the most debauched in all of Hollywood (2006's orgy honoring Meet the Santas is still spoken of in hushed tones for the five overdosing Saint Nicks who had to be removed from a single bathroom stall at the Riot Hyatt), Globes nominee and A Grandpa for Christmas star Ernest Borgnine decided he would still try and salvage what fun he could from the wreckage of the evening, hosting an intimate gathering at his home. And Access Hollywood was there!

The ever-smiling Hollywood veteran said he was happy to be home instead of wrapped up in the "hullabaloo" of the ceremony, "because if I want a beer or I want a sandwich or whatever, I'm able to get up and go. These people have to sit there and wait until somebody tells them to go pee."

Tension grew as each category was announced. "This is like going into labor, for God sake," Tova said of the long wait.
Finally, the actor's category came up. Jim Broadbent was announced as the winner.

Tova and Nancy Borgnine booed, but Borgnine clapped.

"Hey, I already got one," he said. "I was nominated and I think that's wonderful. You don't have to win them all."

A win would have been good for the Hallmark Channel, he said, "but for me, I've got one. And I've got the big guy, too."

Borgnine's admirable magnanimity in the face of defeat would soon fade, however, as he further contemplated the indignity the HFPA visited upon him in delivering the upset win to Broadbent. Local news crews hoping to get some feel-good footage for their post-awards-show segments soon found themselves documenting an expletive-filled tirade in which the agitated nonagenarian, menacingly swinging around his previously won Oscar and Globe, invited "that Limey dandy" over to his house "settle this like men," pledging that the winner of a best-of-three-falls Indian-leg-wrestling would get to "keep all the goddamn trophies."

[Photo: AP]

Strike Can't Stop Ernest Borgnine From Partying On Globes Night [Access Hollywood]

Golden Globes Fun Fact: The Hallmark Channel's...

Mark — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:20:59 EST

Golden Globes Fun Fact: The Hallmark Channel's A Grandpa For Christmas received more nominations than ABC's Lost. (The tally: one to zero.) This, of course, is less a commentary on Lost's quality during the past TV season than it is a much-deserved celebration of Ernest Borgnine's enduring star power. [TV Week]