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Normally, a crippling fear of spilling her drink order consumes Grey’s Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo on her daily Starbucks run. Instead, the baristas must’ve assumed that when she used the name, “Ellen” it was a fake name and that her real name is Renee, as in Renee Zelllweger. Pompeo tried to laugh off the case of mistaken identity, but it really got to her. Pompeo confessed, “We’re both awesome and blonde, but that’s it. That’s where the similarities end. We’re nothing alike. Two completely different people.”

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

This week's installment also includes: Clint Eastwood, Jerry Seinfeld, Ryan Phillippe, Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long, Farrah Fawcett, James Woods, Dane Cook, John C. Reilly, Lauren Conrad, Ellen Pompeo, P. Diddy (twice in the same night!), Jared Leto, Kevin Federline, Sandra Oh, Seth Green, Balthazar Getty, Pete Wentz, Briam Baumgartner, Zachary Levi, Ciara, Adam "Seymour Butts" Glasser and more.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21
· Sitting in a booth at the recently re-opened Fab's on Van Nuys Blvd in Sherman Oaks at 8pm, Mr. "Hey, Spike Lee, Shut Your Pie-Hole" himself, CLINT EASTWOOD, speaking in hushed tones while dining with Sinatra's favorite opening comic, Tom Dreesen. I couldn't hear if Clint said to the waiter, "Go ahead, make my Chicken Marsala." Even at 93 [Ed. Note: He's actually only 78], Clint looks like he could kick some serious butt.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 22
· It was celeb night on Friday 8/22 at the AMC theater at the Century City Mall. Spotted PETE WENTZ standing outside with friends. His hair is flat ironed to oblivion and he is short, almost alarmingly so. Kept his hoodie on the whole time. Jessica's pregnant sister was nowhere in sight.

Then, a few minutes later, ELLEN POMPEO (that's Meredith Grey to you) walked by hand-in-hand with her hubby. Super skinny and wearing gross, skin tight white jeans, white shirt with trashy sky high black heels. They were in a rush which made her look like she walks funny because she clearly couldn't handle those heels. We decided she was dressed like a Staten Island prostitute.

We decided to hold out a few more minutes on the hope we would spot an elusive A-lister. And before we knew it, PUFF DADDY walked by sans entourage! He is indeed puffy. Mr. Mogul needs to get back to running marathons for charity. He was wearing sunglasses. At 10:30pm. And he was texting while walking briskly. Who says men can't multi-task?

· Equinox West Hollywood. PUFF DADDY (again!) makes his entourage wait in the juice bar while he grabs a steam.

· JUSTIN LONG and KIRSTEN DUNST were spotted Friday night at the Dragonfly, checking out the show Point Break LIVE! She sat behind him w/ her girlfriends, but Justin kept turning around to talk to her & see her reaction to the craziness onstage.

·Bristol Farms, West Hollywood, 5:30PM (ish). Looking determined to get out and towing a tow-headed child: RYAN PHILLIPPE. Taller than I would have expected, and beefier (but by no means tall). I don't know if he's moved to the neighborhood but the shopping cart was brimming. In case he is, a word of advice: I know it's technically West Hollywood, but the look you should be going for should be more "Daddy out shopping for groceries with my kids on Beverly" and less "Out shopping for a Daddy to buy my groceries on Santa Monica".

SATURDAY, AUGUST 23
· He's not a household name, but with 33 film and 40 television credits, let's just say I was surprised to see SEAN WHALEN selling blenders at the Burbank Costco on Saturday, miked up, dressed in a white lab coat and white paper hat. He usually plays nerds, but now he's extolling the virtues of raw food smoothies. Ouch.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 24
· Sunday night at the Radiohead show. Saw SANDRA OH with several dudes scrambling to get to their seats. She looked flustered, yet excited. Also saw SETH GREEN in line between songs waiting for beers. He was sporting a trucker hat and has a big, shaggy red beard. He looks like he belongs under a bridge waiting for three billy goats gruff.

Lastly, also saw BALTHAZAR GETTY near the beer line between songs, wearing douchey skinny jeans and chomping on cigarettes. Dude looked like he was having way too much fun, like he'd just ditched his wife and kids for a hot chick who likes to bang while only wearing a sailor's hat. Oh, wait...

· As I approached the cool 'n' groovy Santa Monica/Fairfax Whole Foods, I saw two paps outside aiming their lenses into the store. Store security blocked their view. I heard someone say, "She's the one in orange," and then noticed LAUREN CONRAD in a cute orange summer dress, casual hair, grinding her own peanut butter near the bulk grains. No, she did not have an assistant to pour in the peanuts and press the button for her. When I left she was checking out, the paps were lining up, and the Whole Foods security guys, looking vaguely energized, were preparing to escort Ms. Conrad to her vehicle.

MONDAY, AUGUST 25
· Monday night, Radiohead at the Bowl. After briefly encountering JARED LETO (dressed a bit like Shia in Indiana Jones) on the concourse leading a small scuzzy posse around and claiming that he had extra seats, I was surprised to see him all alone in the pool circle up front where I was seated (second row, yo!). Jared apparently ditched his "boys" and tried a bum rush to get up front as the lights went down. Multiple security guards stopped him and he immediately went into "Don't you know who I am?" mode. At first it was high-larious, but then it became a bit pathetic. And then it became a lot pathetic. He just would not give up. It didn't matter. They hauled him away just before the band came out and killed it.

I'd like to believe that Radiohead hates Jared's stupid fucking band and the noise pollution he calls music as much as I and everyone else at the show does, and that they ordered security to remove him from their immediate vicinity, but more than likely Thom Yorke has never heard of 30 (Minutes? Miles? I refuse to google.) to Mars. To Thom, it was probably just another dumb asshole without a ticket getting the boot from the front. Which is exactly what it was.

·Saw JAMES WOODS on 8/25 on Burton Way near Raffles L'Ermitage Beverly Hills. He was on the phone and completely plugged into it. Looks pretty good for a man his age. No sign of his 20 year old girl anywhere.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 26
· Comedy Antichrist DANE COOK was at Crunch. His name was on the marquee at the Laugh Factory across the street, so I'm guessing it was some sort of pre- or post-show routine. If you imagined that he'd work out in a backwards baseball cap and muscle shirt, thereby confirming your image of him as a superannuated, doughy-faced, overgrown frat boy - you'd be correct.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27
· Two fun (separate) sightings. Saw Kevin (BRAIN BAUMGARTNER) from Scrantonicity (and, yes, The Office); and, Chuck (ZACHARY LEVI), from, well, Chuck at the Studio City Starbucks. Both taking meetings around the corner at the NBC/Universal building? Kevin wearing shorts, Chuck driving a gas-guzzling Chevy Tahoe. Bad choices, boys.

· Eyed R&B sensation/masturbation fantasy CIARA placing a to-go order at the El Pollo Loco on Sunset and Crescent Heights around 4:40pm. Body was insane.

· I was walking back to my office from Rick's Tavern yesterday around 8:35pm going South on Main St when, lo and behold, JERRY SEINFELD was walking the opposite direction. He was with a group of like 3 or 4 friends and looking casual but good. Hoodie and glasses and admiring the motor bikes parked on the street.

· Saw Seymore Butts (born ADAM GLASSER) in the Miracle Mile Marie Callender's today. No cameras, no nudity, no sex acts being performed. But seriously, I saw Seymore Butts!!!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 29
· Walking through the hallways of a building deep in the heart of Toluca Lake around 3:30pm is FARRAH FAWCETT. Farrah raised her head to look me in the eye with a a look that said "Yes I am Farrah Fawcett and don't talk to me" Farrah had heavy duty perfume situation going on that wafted in the hallway well after she left the building. Christie Brinkley is about the same age as her but Farrah looks like she has been through the ringer and had a rough, rough hard drinking, hard partying, heavy tanning life. Use sunscreen, kids. Use Sunscreen.

· Not sure if KEVIN FEDERLINE is a real "sighting" but we saw Father of The Year at Malibu Seafood on Friday. Did not look overly douche-y. Was with a few guys, both whom I recognized but neither that I could place.

· We saw JOHN C. REILLY out in Dublin's (as in, Ireland) posh south side last Friday. We couldn't remember his name right off. We called him "Not-Will-Ferrell". He didn't seem to mind.

[Photo Credit: X17]

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After learning about Ellen Pompeo's puppy paparazzi ploys, 27 Dresses star Katherine Heigl announced her intentions to create and develop a show based on her own personal entourage. According to sources on the scene, Heigl told her friends that her show wouldn't be that much different from the wildly popular HBO series. Heigl stated that the character based on her mother would sort of be like 'E' and that her mother's friend would sort of be like Turtle, only less prominently featured. Heigl's friend's character arc would be similar to Drama's but, once again, she probablly would not appear on the show that much either. Heigl said of her own character, "It'd be a combination of Ari and Vince and Me, but with a lot more ball busting and cupcakes! And Joshua would be like Ari's wife, completely non-existent, which is pretty accurate to Joshua. That'll show that Pompeo bitch for trying to steal my thunder!"

[Photo Credit: X17]

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Grey's Anatomy Ellen Pompeo attempted to make a deal with the paparazzi over the weekend. Pompeo said that she would be willing to give the puppies to any photographer who takes a picture that puts her atop of the gossip blogs. Pompeo stated that while she's friends with her Grey's co-star Katherine Heigl, she's upset that Heigl gets all the headlines and attention. Pompeo said, "My character's name is in the title of the show, yet people only seem to focus on Katherine. Did you know she makes me call her by full name? Anyways ... Sure, she smokes cigarettes and what not, but look at me, I sort of look like Renee Zellweger and I give away cute puppies to people who'll provide them with lots of love and care. Isn't that more fun to publicize than some chain smoking hag? Oh, also, if you could pass my number along to Judd Apatow, I'll throw in six months of free dog food."

[Photo Credit: X17]

• The View Audition Tapes - Alternate Reese Audition [YouTube]

"The rest of the cast seemed instantly resentful of [Walsh]," a source told Star. "They each thought they'd be the one chosen to get their own show, and now they're giving Kate the cold shoulder."

The source adds that "Grey's" star Ellen Pompeo "seemed particularly peeved because she felt that, as the star, she should have been consulted." [...]

Laments the source: "Things had finally settled down and now everyone's disgruntled again."

Indeed, star Pompeo is so aggravated at the perceived affront that she can't even muster the appetite to get through her typical diet consisting of Big Fat Plates of Nothing; instead, set sources have spotted the slight, slighted actress muttering agitatedly to herself about things like how her "name's right there in the title," and that "Renée Zellweger would never put up with this," while picking disinterestedly at a Side Salad Plate of Air.

• 'Grey's Anatomy' stars fuming over spinoff [MSNBC]
• Previously: 'Grey's Anatomy': The Spinoff [Defamer]

"What are we waiting on?" said Isaiah.

"Not me," said Patrick. "I'm always ready."

"At that point," said the source, "Isaiah said something mean to T.R. Knight" (who plays mild-mannered Dr. George O'Malley).

"That's when Patrick told Isaiah, 'Pick on somebody your own size.

"Well, that did it. Isaiah became enraged and grabbed Patrick by the throat and shoved him back a few feet.

"Dr. McDreamy [Dempsey's nickname] almost landed in McDreamland."

When Knight demanded that the pair break it up, the source says, "Isaiah called him a bitch. Isaiah stormed off to his trailer to cool off, while Patrick and T.R. stood there in disbelief.

"The director and producers got involved, and a meeting was organized with the network execs."

Washington came back to the set, and the actors finished their scene, but feelings are still said to be raw, with neither actor offering an apology.

"Isaiah is a theater-trained actor who can't stand the whole McDreamy magazine-cover-boy furor over Patrick," says the source.

The producers would be foolish to squander the kind of behind-the-scenes conflict that can only make the on-screen relationships between their characters richer. We're sure they'll find a way to seamlessly incorporate the real-life tension into the drama, perhaps by having Washington's Dr. Burke enter the already-crowded competition for the devastatingly thin Dr. Grey's affection, setting up a season-long McDreamy vs. McChokey showdown.

(And if any of our readers happened to be on the set when this occurred or are otherwise privy to the details of the fight, by all means, drop us a line.)

• For McDreamy, it's nearly lights out [Rush & Molloy]

I stand by my report. I was at Lucky Devils for over an hour and there was absolutely no problem with the service. I even had time to make a 10:15 movie at the ArcLight afterwards. If Ellen had a problem with the service, she certainly didn't look it. If I was in a situation where all three of my friends got their food, but not me, I would be kind of upset. And so would my friends. I might even raise a complaint with the wait staff. This was not the case at Ellen's table. Everyone was laughing, joking, and eating while Ellen sat there with her B.F.P.O.N. (big fat plate of nothing). And just for the record, in her E! interview, Ellen claims she ordered food, but she never says anything about actually eating it. That's where we agree. In the whole time I was there, I saw nothing more than a few swallows of her boyfriend's milkshake go down her throat. Not that there's anything wrong with that. As I said, she looked hot.

We suppose that both our nosy diner and Pompeo will have to agree to disagree, but our operative makes an excellent point: In the interview, she doesn't say that she eventually ate the burger. Perhaps she'd find that she'd slowly become less devastatingly thin if she'd actually eat the food when it's finally served. It seems like a simple concept, but it's not like cheeseburgers come with instructions reminding actresses of this crucial, final step of the casual dining process.

• Ellen Pompeo: I'd Eat If The Damn Server Would Ever Bring My Food [Defamer]
• Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: What Makes Ellen Thin? [Defamer]

K[risten, Watch With]: Being under that kind of microscope must get really exhausting.

E[llen Pompeo]: oh my god! I went into Lucky Devils. Have you ever been to lucky devil?

K: Um, yes, and I'm obsessed with it now. It's the most gluttonous food ever.

E: So Lucky Devils, I went there the other day with my boyfriend and this other couple and, the service in there is awful, I don't know if you've have any bad but I've been going there for the past three months I guess I discovered it. The service is terrible so my food took forever to get there but the three of them go their food first and I didn't want to drink all my shake waiting for my food because then I would be full and wouldn't eat my food. So what do you think ends up in Defamer.com?

K: Ohhhh

E: That I didn't eat.

K: And you're like, 'I'm in freaking Lucky Devils!'

E: And that's why you order a shake because you just want to look at it. I mean it's just like, listen: I'm the first one to say, I know I'm devastatingly thin. I know I am! But there's so nothing I can do, like except just go to Lucky Devils, which doesn't do a thing!

We haven't been able to contact the operative who originally filed the report to see if Pompeo's explanation holds up, but we bet that the "terrible" waiters at Lucky Devils will make sure that the next time she drops by, they'll deliver her Things We Found In The Rubber Mat Behind The Counter Mashed Into A Slab Of Kobe Beef Burger with a renewed commitment to prompt service.

UPDATE: Our operative responds to Pompeo's denial.

• Announcement: Ellen Pompeo Interview [E! Online]
• Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: What Makes Ellen Thin? [Defamer]

9:15 PM: Sitting at Lucky Devils on Hollywood and Cherokee. Ellen Pompeo just walked in. She looks pretty hot. I will tell you what she orders as it happens.

9:27PM: So far just a milkshake that she's sharing with her boyfriend. And by sharing, I mean letting him have it all.

9:46PM: It's the Hollywood actress moment I was waiting for. The three people with Pompeo at her table have all ordered cheeseburgers. Pompeo has ordered a big fat plate of nothing. That's right, there are three plates at the table, none of which are in front of Ellen. She's just sitting there watching her friends eat. And that's how you get cast on TV's number one show, boys and girls.

The Big Fat Plate of Nothing Diet may seem like a surefire route to the skeletal figure coveted by every girl with big Hollywood dreams, but not everyone has the self-discipline to adhere to it; one not only has to refrain from ordering their own meal, but must also resist the continual temptation to give in to one's body's selfish, career-killing demands for sustenance by diving across the table and seeking the sweet release of a mouthful of gourmet cheeseburger. If it were as easy as it sounds, everyone would have their own hit television show.