Good as You has the scoop:

On last night's episode of the fantastic "Gay USA," Cynthia Wade, the Oscar-winning director of the Freeheld documentary, said that Juno star Ellen Page is attached to star in a feature film adaption of the Laurel Hester story (playing Stacie, Laurel's partner).

A hopeful prospect for this sad but ultimately hopeful story. It has the potential to be the sort of powerful cinema that the lesbian community has long hoped for, and the human community as a whole needs to see more of. Not to mention, it would be quite the coup for those whose "Is Ellen Page a lesbian?" rumor mill has lost its grist!

Indeed — thanks for doing us a solid, Ellen! The story in question concerns the heartbreaking struggle that faced New Jersey police officer Laurel Hester, who, upon discovering that she would soon die from quickly spreading lung cancer, battled Republican county freeholders to pass on pension benefits to her partner, Stacie. Sad stuff, but at least we can console ourselves with thought of Page's upcoming buzz cut (in order to pull off the lesbian look currently classified as "off-hours Maddow").

• A new Page in the Laurel Hester story? [Good As You]

Harden told us that Page stayed in character during much of the shoot, even when they would try to crack her up by singing Whitney Houston songs. “Ellen’s a serious girl,” she said. “She’s an absolute doll, but she’s a serious doll.”

“She’s really nice,” said Eulala Scheel, Harden’s ten-year-old daughter who plays Ellen’s sister in the film. “But she’s hard to be around, because she really likes to eat healthy, so I wouldn’t know what I could eat in front of her at craft services. She doesn’t laugh a lot. But one day I had my hair up in spikes, and that was funny, so she laughed at that.”

So the girl's deadpan — so what? You'd clam up too if you had Marcia Gay Harden constantly thrusting a sloppy joe from craft services into your hand with the commandment, "Hamburger phone scene. Take it from 'It's not a food baby.' Go!"

• Eve And Ellen Page ‘Whip It’ For Drew Barrymore’s Roller Derby Pic [MTV]

Sure enough, it was Sharon having a leisurely lunch with a friend. Sharon looked fresh faced and relaxed. She's very pretty in person. My friend and I ate our lunch, asked for the check, and sat for a bit longer to chat. I looked up and who should I see walking around the corner but ELLEN PAGE looking hipster-y in a black and white checkered scarf, t-shirt and skinny jeans. She was with a waif-ish dude who was wearing Risky Business sunglasses. They were moving fast toward the parking lot behind Hugo's. Ellen looked a little tired. Maybe she was heading home for a nap? Two great sightings in one meal, and all we had to do was sit there! Sharon was still lunching when we left. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

When Superbad was released, everyone was stoked on Cera and his skinny, off-beat quiet wit. He was ranked No. 1 on Entertainment Weekly's 30 Under 30 actors list. He had garnered comedic street cred from his stint on Arrested Development. And shucks, how could you forget those dimples? He was one of those cool, John Cusask-esque unlikely sex symbols! And yet now, film critic Jeffrey Wells says Cera is a mere "two or three steps from being over." His logic?

...the two main reasons are (a) he's already repeating himself and (b) his aversion to being famous, hard to swallow from a guy who's been acting since he was 10 or 11 years old, is profoundly tiresome. Nobody has time for that sensitive "poor me because I'm rich and famous" shit.

As much as we hate to say it, we fear for Cera, too. We can't put up with this innocent guy shtick for too much longer. Dude: if you're gonna shine, you need some charm - and we think you may be lacking in the department. In fact, we read that you sat "rod straight" and said "I don't know" 48 times in one hour when a New York Times writer was profiling you recently.

Cera's upcoming flicks aren't lookin' like total winners either. This winter, from the creator of Not Another Teen Movie comes Extreme Movie, a film that will explore the joys of teen sex and co-stars Jamie Kennedy and Frankie Muniz. Niiice. And next year's Youth in Revolt, in which he plays a 14-year-old whose parents are divorcing and seeks his dream girl to take his mind off of things along with his virginity - screams typecast.

Plus, he upset fans with the recent news that he may be one of the key players vetoing the greenlighting of an Arrested Development flick.

Sigh. We're sure it's just all of the pressure to be the Next Big Thing weighing those little bony shoulders of his down.

• On The Brink [Hollywood Elsewhere]

Boomp3.com

Popular pint-sized canuck Ellen Page took a slightly uncomfortable seat on an apple box on the set of Whip It. Page wished that the box had a padded cushion hidden inside, but Page made the most of her situation. It was an altogether different story for her co-star Landon Pigg, though. Pigg said, “Well, I’m just sitting on air. I took a couple of mime classes back in France.” Page was impressed by Pigg’s incredible feat of flexibility and dexterity, but she felt it was an even bigger feat of strength and skill to sit on a box for a prolonged period.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

So yes, we highly doubt anyone will be rushing to the theaters next year in some kind of SATC or Devil Wears Prada estrogen frenzy to see Page's uninspiring fashions, but two primary reasons why we think news like that is just grand, come to mind:

1) Early details about Barrymore's first crack at the director's chair reveal character names like Dinah Might, Bloody Holly, and Malice In Wonderland. Which would otherwise be somewhat tacky little gimmicks were it not for (we suspect) Drew's uncanny talent for making any sappy, giggly, poorly written chick flick watchable, and the fact that Juliette Lewis, Marcia Gay Harden and Defamer favorite Kristen Wiig are all co-starring.

2) Nobody likes an estrogen frenzy.

So if Page remains determined to straddle the fine line between bi-curious and going incognito while on the DL using the most unnoticeable boy's clothes to disguise herself, we should really be thanking the bison-fan for preventing yet another endless cluster of pink Manofaux Blahniks crowd our sidewalks every weekend.

[Photo credits: INF]

• ELLEN PAGE WHIPS IT GOOD [Just Jared]

· Val Kilmer, Fairuza Balk, Jennifer Coolidge, Vondie Curtis Hall, Shawn Hatosy, Denzel Whitaker and Xzibit join Nicolas Cage in Werner Herzog's remake reimagining updating sequel-with-none-of-the-original-characters to Abel "Who?" Ferrera's Bad Lieutenant. [THR]
· Strike.tv is a new original-content site that launches this summer. Its first three months of profits are earmarked for the Entertainment Assistance Program of the Actor's Fund, which "helps anybody in the entertainment community in need of assistance." [THR]
· Physical album sales are down 11% from last year, and digital sales are up. A flowers, candles, and teddy bear memorial has begun to form outside Amoeba. [Variety]

"I mean, it's half-animated and nonlinear and Ellen's in a very high place right now and there's just too much focus on her and her career for her to be able to go off and do some super-experimental flick."

This is clearly a matter of dues-paying for both women — particularly for the non-conformist Page, whose "one for Ratner, one nonlinear girl-girl monster drama for me" is proving a tougher road to hoe than even her image-shaping, power-lesbian flack/Oscar date may have anticipated months ago. All we can recommend is for the ladies as the Jack and Diane window closes is to keep fighting the good fight; considering Thirlby's admitted luck with pot comedies, the film may be just one super-experimentally drug-dealing-werewolf subplot away from the green light they've so desperately awaited.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Olivia Thirlby Spurns Pot, Embraces the Munchies [NYM]

A day earlier on May 9, Page's other hibernating indie, The Tracey Fragments, arrives on-screen and under the radar in limited release. We're checking it out in the next few days, but we've heard mixed things about the story of a runaway (Page) looking for her brother — in split-screen! Really! It's amazing, then, that we should hear Page is now dialed in as the title character in the umpteenth adaptation of Charlotte Bronte's 1847 novel Jane Eyre, which Miramax is rumored to be hopping aboard alongside BBC Films. No director is yet attached. Meanwhile, the thriller Peacock — Page's first new film since Juno's Oscar run — starts shooting this month in Des Moines. From here on out, it's nothing but the best. Seriously. We think.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• BBC Films putting on 'Eyre' with Ellen Page [THR]

While Wal-Mart isn't nearly as highbrow as Versace, the fashion brand Demi modeled for in 2005, Moore was actually a hard-working model aching for a big break at 18. Rumer, now 19, is hardly struggling, and Wal-Mart, as Hilary Duff and the Olsen sisters know fully well, bring in major bucks.

And landing the role in From Within may not win Rumer any Oscar nods, but Moore didn't really break out until landing a recurring role on General Hospital at 20. So despite cheesy ad campaigns and teen romp scary movies serving as the first credits on her resume, Rumer may surprise us all and manage to live up to her mother's decades-long star status. Fingers crossed she doesn't take on any implant-requiring lap dance roles for the time being, though. Lindsay Lohan may be the only ticket-buyer.

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage, Flisted]

• NOW BIKINI-CLAD RUMER WILLIS RECREATES MOTHER DEMI'S FAMOUS CHARLIE'S ANGELS BEACH SCENE [Daily Mail]
• RUMER WILLIS FOR WAL-MART'S OP BRAND [Just Jared]

In today's installment: Alec Baldwin, Miley Cyrus, Seth Rogen, David Spade, Amanda Bynes, Ellen Page, Lawrence Fishburne, Anthony Kiedis, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Mena Suvari, Michael C. Hall, Marilu Henner, Holly Marie Combs, Tempestt Bledsoe, Clea Duvall, Heidi Fleiss and both Rancics, Giuliana and Bill.

APRIL 13
· Just saw Seth Rogen at the Whole Foods at Fairfax and Santa Monica. He was being toted around by his quite attractive yet non-actress brunette girlfriend. She obviously wears the pants so to speak. Seth looked like he normally does; schlubby and definitely not light on his feet.

APRIL 15
· RFD is sort of like shooting vegans in a barrel, but this was too good to pass up. Tuesday, 4/15, there was a near-miss "American Pie" reunion when the kid who played Finch (imdb says, eddie kaye thomas; now appearing on the delightful "til death") left just before Mena Suvari arrived: tramp-stamped, be-wifebeatered, braless. Adjourned to the bathroom for several minutes, came out snuffling and nose-wiping. Hope nobody told her that these days they cut llallo with ground kitten bones.

APRIL 17
· Sid-ibum-Bid-ibum-Do-Me-Til-I'm-Well-Done...Anthony Keidis, looking very tan, well-groomed and happy leaving Blue Plate on Montana with his tall young bride.

APRIL 18
· I went to the 11:10pm screening of Forgetting Sarah Marshall at the Cinerama Dome and who was there but Amanda fucking Bynes! She was wearing black short shorts, gold high heels, and looked a little too young for me to be attracted to her without it being creepy. Amanda seemed to enjoy the movie though, and when she exited the theater she was being followed by an enterprising paparazzo with a video camera.
· GULAGER ALERT! Saw Clu Gulager trying to cross Fountain Ave on Friday, April 18th. Normally I try to hit people that don't use a crosswalk, but the Gulag can walk wherever he damn well pleases.

APRIL 19
· After a few weeks without a celebrity sighting to report, I can happily add not one, but TWO sightings to my favorite Defamer feature! Yesterday (4/19), my friend (who hears 4 times a day that talks just like Juno) and I were at the Hollywood Farmer's Market, when who should walk by but Ellen Page. I saw a lot of greens coming out of her giant reusable bag (could have been lettuce or the tops of carrots). And she wasn't wearing any sunglasses either, unlike Marilu Henner, who was with a hoarde of kids (maybe she was doing a scavenger hunt like Teri Hatcher). Props to Ellen for keeping it real and for helping to save the environment (she says as she goes back to the 90s).
· We saw Alec Baldwin tonight walking by himself through the food court at the Woodland Hills Promenade Mall. He was wearing blue shorts and workout jacket, seemingly oblivious to the crowd around him. He went up to the AMC theater ticket window and seemed to be grilling the cashier about something. We left and came back 10-15 minutes later and he was still there, but this time with another man I didn't recognize. That's the last we saw of him as we headed out to our car.
· Saw Miley Cyrus in the Barnes and Noble at The Grove around 11:15am holding a book called Puddlejumpers and looking at other books in the kids section. She had on giant dark glasses, but nothing else about her was incognito. She went directly to the check-out when a couple of 8-year-olds recognized her. Yeah, a superstar in the kids book section. Wild.

APRIL 20
· Yesterday, while at Swinger's cafe, Michael C. Hall (Dexter / Six Feet Under) and Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter) came to have a post-work out lunch after sweatin' it at Easton's gym across the street. Justin Kirk (Weeds) was also brunchin' it. After my delicious Swinger's lunch I headed over to Target where I saw my favorite funny lady, Ashley Jensen (Extras / Ugly Betty). I really love her! So cute in person too!
· Scariest celeb sighting: Suge Knight was on my flight to Vegas on Saturday afternoon. I guess he's fallen on hard times if he's flying Southwest but his diamonds would say otherwise.
· At the Hollywood Farmers' Market around 11 a.m., Zooey Deschanel was looking very happy (and great looking, without makeup). Her glow might have had something to do with the rave review that the NY Times gave her singing sidebar She and Him.

APRIL 21
· I was at Granville's in Burbank for my buddy's birthday[Happy Birthday Chris!]. We were all hanging out and laughing when someone realized that the girl sitting next to our table was no other than Tempestt Bledsoe a/k/a Vanessa Huxtable. She was having a quiet dinner with a girlfriend. We decided not to bother them but you know The Cosby Show was the show that I associate all these fond memories so my friend and I eventually approached them for a photo [after most of our group had gone home]. Tempestt was very gracious but declined taking a picture because she wasn't in the frame of mind. We accepted that and told her it was a pleasure meeting them. I was a little bit disappointed but my life is complete! I met Vanessa...now if I can met Rudy, life will be just sweet!
· Saw Holly Marie Combs of Charmed fame at Disneyland. Was with son, nanny type, and husband(?) She looked gorgeous, very natural looking without make up, sat on the tram with the rest of us common folk.
· Was at Koi last night, taking the parents (who are visiting from Georgia and were hoping to spot a star) out for dinner. Our party of six, which included my seven-year-old niece, was seated in the table adjacent to David Spade. He was dressed in t-shirt and a huge army green trench and trucker hat, speaking loudly enough to be heard for several tables. If that's not obnoxious enough, he dropped the "F-bomb" several times... fortunately it went right over my niece's head, but we did move her to the other side of the table so she was no longer back-to-back with Potty Mouth. He was with three male friends and kept talking about his career and how "I don't want to spend more than $3,000," presumably on dinner, but who knows. In fairness, he did say "Excuse me," and step aside allow my girlfriend to pass him on her way to the restroom, so maybe he's a gentleman every now and then. The evening left me even further confused about how he landed Heather Locklear, though...

APRIL 23
· Apparently Ventura and Sepulveda is the Beverly and Melrose of C-listers. Two days ago I saw Lawrence
Fishburne at said intersection, dressed in a plaid button down shirt, aviators and ill-fitting jeans. He
was alone and waiting to cross the street towards the Sherman Oaks Galleria. The next day I saw Stephen Root
(thanks IMDb), Mr. I-Believe-You-Have-My-Stapler of Office Space fame, going into the Marmalade Cafe not 1/2 a mile away.
· This one is for all my fellow gay girls out there. Spotted Clea Duvall and Leisha Hailey with two friends at the Tegan and Sara show at The Glass House in Pomona (ew). Two dykons walked right into the heart of a hotbed of lesbians! They were low key and adorable as all hell. Squee-age was kept to a minimum.
· I was having an early dinner (circumstances, not my age) at La Scala in Brentwood (the eggplant is to die for) and who should be in a wall booth facing the entire rest of the surprisingly busy restaurant, she in her giant while sunglasses, he under his giant bowler hat, but Ms. Paris Hilton and true love of the moment Benji Madden. No fanfare, no paparazzi, no idea why they would be having dinner at 5:30 in the afternoon (or perhaps it was lunch?), but drinks and actual food appeared to be consumed in a completely civilized manner, and the parting smile as she brushed against my shoulder on the way out will fuel my pathetic fantasy life for way too long.
· Lo and behold, who comes weaving and stumbling down Hollywood Blvd at 12:45 in the afternoon? None other than former madame Heidi Fleiss. She was decked out in all-white carrying a plastic bag. From a block away, I thought she was a drunk, homeless person. I felt like running to her father's office to demand an intervention.
· As I was pulling up into the parking lot of the Albertons at Hillhurst & Los Feliz at 6:45pm, I immediately noticed a woman exiting the store with huge blonde hair, tiny mini skirt and tight shirt. It's my first Angelyne sighting! Angelyne gets into a pink Corvette with personalized custom tags. Maybe I have low standards, but I thought she actually looked pretty hot for being 100 and I even had my glasses on. However, she must have a pound of make up on. Definitely a G.I.L.F. Oh, another thing. She looked like she didn't want to be bothered but why do you look like that when you are eldery and drive a pink corvette if you are trying to shun attention?

APRIL 24
· Giulianna and Bill Rancic jaywalked in front of my car on La Cienega. Looked like they were heading to Stone Fire Pizza Company. Though I am not sure how G's skinny legs hold her up, they looked cute together, holding hands as they crossed the street.
· Was at the Soup Plantation at the Beverly Connection on Thursday night and saw everyones favorite Goth Labrat, NCIS star Paulie Perrette. She looked really good and had a hairy bearded rocker guy in tow. I gotta learn to play guitar!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

The Accused: CelebNewsWire
The Crime: Reduction of a woman to her genitalia.
The Evidence: "Sore-Riddled Vagina Seeks Spotty Pussy," reads the headline of a story about Paris Hilton wanting a cheetah. Listen, yeah, it's Paris, but seriously. The story could be reported in a funny, non-misogynistic, non-offensive way. Calling her a "vagina" and labeling it "news" is despicable.
The Sentence: Mauling by Cheetah.

The Accused: Egotastic
The Crime: Dwelling on armpit hair.
The Evidence: "I also happened to notice that in this scene from The Tracey Fragments, in which Ellen Page is topless, and flashing her ass, her armpits are totally unshaven. Now, this could just mean that Ellen Page has different views on hygiene, but when you're a big-time Hollywood star, not shaving your armpits is a pretty big statement." Yawn. Females have armpit hair. And leg hair. And, gasp! Pubic hair. Who the fuck cares.
The Sentence: 90 days of hypertrichosis.

The Accused: Perez Hilton
The Crime: Unnecessary attention to cellulite.
The Evidence: "Mushy Gets Mushy: How can such a skinny girl have so much cellulite???? Drunk-driver Mushy Fartone celebrates avoiding a jail sentence by indulging in some shopping in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Unfortunately for her, she flashed a little more than she should have to the paparazzi. Be careful Msicha, you've got the fat genes in your family. Mommy's a hefty gal, and it looks like you will be too!" Cellulite is a naturally occurring condition that practically ALL POST-ADOLESCENT FEMALES develop. It is not related to being overweight. Genetics, gender, race and hormones affect cellulite. As long as she can use them to walk, Mischa's legs are fine. Also: Shut up.
The Sentence: Freaky Friday-style bodyswap with Manuel Uribe for 90 days.
Additional Crime: Under a photograph of Sharon Stone: "The actress, who hasn't been in a hit film in, like, forever, is finally starting to look her age. Sharon just turned 73 50. And she looks it!" Our own Maria-Mercedes asks, "Is there something wrong with looking your age?" The answer is, of course, no.
The Sentence: A hearty slap across the face from Sharon Stone, and may she have rings on.

The Accused: Hollywood Tuna
The Crime: Weight-mockery.
The Evidence: "Jennifer Love Hewitt's Big Ass On The Prairie: It looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt's ankle finally gave way under the pressure." Hahaha hey you guys, it's so fun to call J. Love Hewitt fat, I mean look at her neck, it's like so gigantic, and women are only as good as they look, hahahaha.
The Sentence: A reader pointed out that last week's medieval tortures did not include the Catherine Wheel, so let's use it now, shall we?

The Accused: What Would Tyler Durden Do?
The Crime: Again with the mocking of pregnant women. Do these people not have mothers?
The Evidence: "Jessica Alba had her baby shower this weekend, and it served as a nice reminder that pregnancy slowly turns even the hottest chicks into monsters. We may have gone past the point of no return with this one." Why are pregnant women scary monsters? Are they creepy and gross? Does someone need some psychological help? Or a cookie?
The Sentence: Repressed memory therapy and 90 days community service rubbing the feet of pregnant women.

Drunken Stepfather Quote Of The Day:

My problem is not with women but with feminists who create Women's Studies programs in Universities and who overcompensate by denouncing their sex appeal, putting on a pair of construction boots and taking of their make-up so that they can be hard ass cunts by taking themselves too seriously and ragging on people like me in some kind of fight for women's rights and a whole down with penis mission. All this while denying that they can use their bodies and sex appeal to get ahead. I've never had issues with girls who are down to earth, know what's up and realize that suckin' dick and showing their tits will help their careers and can sit around and joke about that shit, because I don't think women have nothing to say and are useless and only good for fucking, but because I think there's a group of these lesbian manhaters than are giving good sweet girls who I like to be around a pretty bad name....

In today's installment: Janice Dickinson, Quentin Tarantino, Ellen Page, Sarah Silverman, Jason Schwartzman, Scott Speedman, Gene Simmons, Kristen Bell, Rachel Zoe, Adam Levine, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Stacy Keibler, Reggie Bush, Dave Holmes, Holland Taylor, Busta Rhymes, and Lil Wayne.

Tuesday, April 1
· Beverly Hills Post Office, Main Branch: Stacy Keibler in line ahead of me, and Holland Taylor in line just behind me. Both women were gorgeous in everyday makeup and neither seemed at all "above" standing in the ridiculously long line with the regular folks at the post office. I did notice that Ms. Taylor was sending a package to Martin Sheen; how adorable.

Friday, April 4
· 8000 Sunset, @ 9:30pm: Quentin Tarantino sits not inside the arthouse cinema but instead on the newly installed tacky "patio furniture" of the renovated plaza. Talks with a Lisa Loeb look-alike, but she has long black hair, and is not an actress type. They sit next to each other, but facing, on a park bench. Tarantino wears no hat, a black leather jacket, jeans, & black Asics soccer style low tops with white socks that I can see because of his awkward bench positioning. All I hear him say is a rat-a-tat-tat "Yeah, yeah, ..uh huh, of course" while jutting his chin out as Loeb-alike talks. Both hold paper coffee cups. The HQ for TMZ is in the same complex - I was hoping they would look out their window.

Saturday, April 5
· West Hollywood 7-11 on La Cienega and Holloway @ 5:50am: I ran into Busta Rhymes. He was riding shotgun in a red Cadillac CTX. (the 2 seater) His buddy bought a newspaper and he looked at a people magazine and contemplated buying batteries. I was buying Gatorade and coffee. I walked up to him and said "Bus a bus?" He did not respond for a second, I thought he might be talking to someone via Bluetooth. It was only him and I and the cashier. So I said "Busta of flipmode squad" He then turned toward me and laughed, said yes and gave me a bro's handshake then walked out.

Sunday, April 6
· Brewery Art Walk: Scott Speedman wandering about alone, looked confused, cute but much stockier in person than I would have expected. Still maintain Felicity should have ended up with Noel.

· Tampa International Airport @ 6pm: I had been to the NCAA Women's Final Four, aka Lesbian Super Bowl. I stopped to get a meal at TGI Fridays to help my hang over and lo and behold at the bar I see sex god (?) Gene Simmons! He was conspicuously leaning on the bar, facing out, scanning the restaurant. I couldn't get over his ridiculous hair.

Monday, April 7
· Hollywood And Highland: Treating some out-of-town relatives to the sight of other people's out-of-town relatives staring at the sidewalk, I took refuge at the Sephora. As weekend celeb sightings are rare, particularly at touristy places, I was a bit stunned to see Sarah Silverman browsing the skin care section. She looked just like she does on television, which is... or is not... a compliment.

· Beverly Center Chipotle @8pm: Reggie Bush. Short and stacked. Pretty sure the black on black Bentley in the fifteen minute parking was his. Unfortunately it can't compete with my '92 Subaru.

· Red Lion: Dave "I Wanna Be A VJ But for Some Reason Jesse Camp Won that Show but now he's working at a pet store or so I heard" Holmes was at Trivia Night (and even on the winning team). I don't know if they showed up especially for trivia or just happened to be there. He was with a group of about 12 completely average seeming people, including one guy that must have been his brother because they had the same vaguely smug but disarming look about them.

Tuesday, April 8
· Mani's on Fairfax @ 8pm: Saw Jason Schwartzman grabbing something to go from the bakery. Cute, short, almost as exciting as the delicious piece of cherry pie I was devouring mid-sighting.

· Graumann's Chinese Theater: I'm at Graumann's Chinese theater and I'm about 93% sure I am sitting behind Janice Dickinson. I have not seen her face, but she keeps yelling at the ads before the movie. Now I'm 100% sure. She keeps commenting loudly after every trailer. This was so worth the 11.50 per ticket. When she walked out of the theater she said "yawn" loud enough for pretty much everyone to hear. Awesome. Whore...she's also totally skeletal and ate two buckets of popcorn then left for a while. Bulimic coke whore...."

· WeHo Trader Joes, afternoon: i was in weho trader joes yesterday afternoon and i heard this woman on the phone talking loud and it bugged me so i looked and it was Rachel Zoe in the cereal section moving to the trail mix section stuffing her basket and talking but that wasn't the disturbing part, maybe she was feeding the homeless, not herself. but she was wearing this huge fur vest (i am not a activist but that vest could make me one) that looked like a bear was hugging her and these ridiculous shoes that she was trying to balance on and and her face was so well just so bloated looking.......people trust her to dress them?

· Hotel Cafe: Dancing With the Stars pros Mark Ballas and Derek Hough played with their band "Almost Amy." In attendance: The Cheetah Girls, Cristian de la Fuente, Cheryl Burke, Julianne Hough, Priscilla Presley, Kristi Yamaguchi, Shannon Elizabeth, Fabian Sanchez, Pasha (from SYTYCD). Derek and Shannon were looking particularly cozy after the show.

· Beverly Center Chipotle: None other than Weezy F Baby (Lil Wayne) in front of me after yet another Chipotle visit. He was in a Dodge Nitrosomething with 29s or 30s on it. I wanted to get out of my car and tell him what a huge fan I am but I was afraid of getting clapped.

Thursday, April 10
· Adam Levine, in a giant green cowl neck sweater, shorts, high socks and driving shoes; buying many spirits at Mayfair. He is slender and handsome enough to obviously not be drinking all that alone later.

· Was at the Forgetting Sarah Marshall premiere party last night, complete clusterfuck. Mila Kunis looked pretty and skinny. Kristen Bell looked pretty, skinny and really happy. Amber Heard.. skinny and wooden. Seth Green was short and friendly. The skinny guy from Superbad, the comedian with a gap in his teeth from Human Giants [Ed. Note - That'd be Paul Scheer]. Busy Phillips sort of channeling Anna Nicole. Paul Rudd - as dreamy as expected. Swoon.

Friday, April 11
· Hollywood Farmers Market: I saw Ellen Page at the Hollywood Farmers Market. She looked very Juno in a hoodie with the hood up. She was buying brussel sprouts or something similarly healthy. Good eating habits Ellen!

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

UPDATE (2:55pm): Ellen Page's "power lesbian" publicist Kelly Bush (#50 on Out Magazine's Power 50) responds! Full response after the jump.

The full item is as follows:

"Which rising young actress was informed at a recent film party that Jane Fonda wanted to meet her? 'I don't give a [bleep],' came the jaded response."

UPDATE (2:55pm): Here's the response that came from Ellen Page's publicist, Kelly Bush:

Ellen had a lovely conversation with Jane Fonda at the "Smart People" party. Jane was telling her about the upcoming V-Day event in New Orleans. Ellen was not able to attend since she is in pre-production on her next two films. She has requested I get her more information about the work Jane and Eve Ensler are doing so she can help in some way. We have several other clients in New Orleans right now including Jennifer Hudson and Salma Hayek. I am sure it is going to be an amazing event.

• NEW YORK MINUTE [Gatecrasher]

We will leave the decision up to you, the educated Defamer reader, to decide whether or not Page's brevity in conversation and pleasure in killing cows means she wants to hug another woman with her legs in friendship. Us, we're more disappointed in her too-cool-for-school attitude and reluctance play along when Jay lobbed a few "So! What kind of tourist-y things do you do here in LA!" jokes at her (mostly involving dinosaurs, tar pits, and dinosaurs in tar pits). Not to mention yet another wisecrack about how Kev was voted Sexiest Vegetarian a thousand years ago. No Tonight Show guest, no matter how above it all, can be forgiven for allowing Jay to speak or think on his own for that long.

• THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO [NBC]

boomp3.com

At a screening of the upcoming film, Smart People, Sarah Jessica Parker played Henry Higgins as she displayed her latest creation, a fierce and more girly Ellen Page. Page described the experience like being on an episode of "What Not To Wear," but with a heavy emphasis on shoes. Parker hopes that this fresh look put an end to all of those rumors surrounding Page the past few months.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

"Juno B-Sides: Almost Adopted Songs," a 15-track collection boasting a ditty performed by star Ellen Page, will debut exclusively through iTunes for a suggested list price of $9.99 on April 8, distributor Rhino Records said. Page performs 'Zub Zub,' a song written by the film's Oscar-winning screenwriter, Diablo Cody, for a scene that was eventually cut for time. Page's character bemoans her fate with such lines as "he filled me with baby batter, then we ate some orange tic tacs after."

[Director Jason] Reitman said the scene provided one of his favorite memories. "I just remember directing with my daughter strapped to my chest in a BabyBjorn (baby carrier) and the whole crew watching on as Ellen noodled around on guitar."

When we consider the original Juno soundtrack's ascent to No. 1 during the film's cultural saturation point, such ecstatic milking of the twee Juno juggernaut doesn't come as a surprise. Yet our bullshit detectors shriek at the possibility that Page's "baby batter" lament could ever be a casualty of the running-time considerations noted in this report, and even Cody's gold-plated, animal-print imagination couldn't have conjured a more muscular irony than Reitman directing the scene with an infant strapped to his chest. And no one out side Fox Searchlight's marketing department actually uses the word "Junoverse" attributed here to Reitman, do they? Will someone please confirm that this isn't actually happening? Anyone? Echo?

• Diablo Cody's 'Tara' adds players [THR]
• Juno star sings in sequel to movie soundtrack [Reuters]