1.) Synergy
Jon Gosselin's answer when asked for his thoughts on the Balloon Boy hoax:



We're thinking that Balloon Boy might give the same exact answer when asked for his thoughts on Jon Gosselin wiping out his family's bank account.

2.) Tricia Walsh-Smith threatened to walk off The Insider.
She didn't understand that people were telling her that she is smart.

BTW, why does The Insider consider Marla Maples part of "The Real First Wives Club"?

3.) "Tardy for the Party" is based on a true story.

Kim might have another hit on her hands, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.

4.) A different type of tardy at the party
I love Kim's wasted face.

5.) The best excuse for tardiness
Courtesy of Bridezillas

6.) Spry seniors
Larry King's promo picture for his blog is awesome.

And this week, Elizabeth Taylor took Paris and Prince Jackson to Universal Studios theme park.

7.) Courtney Cox was a menstruation pioneer.

8.) What Al Reynolds is up to now
Musical theater-y things, regurgitating, and not being normal. His words, not mine.

9.) Tyra colonic
Last Friday, Tyra featured a colonic on her stage, which the host claimed was the First! Ever! Televised! Colonic! Except it wasn't. I remember Dave Navarro getting one on his reality show about his marriage to Carmen Electra. Tyra also said that a colonic was "the opposite of diarrhea." In fact, a colonic is the opposite of that. It is diarrhea, and it drips down your leg.

10.) A lesson on life from Judge Judy

The most obvious of those realities is that Dame Elizabeth Taylor, now 77, isn't going to be with us forever, and that is a sad thought indeed.

Dear Friends, I would like to let you know before it gets in the papers that I am going into the hospital to have a procedure on my heart...It's very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery, so that my heart will function better...Any prayers you happen to have lying around I would dearly appreciate. I'll let you know when it's all over. Love you, Elizabeth

Taylor rose to fame in an age when stars images were handled by the iron hand of the studio system's publicity machine. Now she is sending out statements of her hospitalization in 160 character bursts. While we applaud Taylor for keeping up with technology enough to twitter (or at least savvy enough to hire someone to do it for her), that the old guard has fallen under its sway means that we are going to be stuck with oversharing celebrities assaulting us with their private thoughts and personal details until the end of time.

If Dame E is in on the game, it means that Ashton, Demi, and the rest of the entertainers with over active thumbs and a healthy sense of narcissism aren't going to be the end of the craze, but that new stars who we haven't even imagined yet will be even worse. In 50 years, we'll be following AnnaLynne McCord via real-time streaming 3-D webcam feed as she is rushed to the hospital for her fourth surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome. You can't stop the march of progress, but today we're shedding a tear for when celebrities knew the best thing for their image was often to keep a bit of distance.

These days, just about any celeb can get a book deal, but if they really want to get on Oprah and sell millions of copies, they need to come up with some sort of attention grabbing scandal that will catapult their tome up the best-sellers lists. It started innocently enough, in 1992, former Greg Brady, Barry Williams, wrote in his book Growing Up Brady that he had relationships with both is on-screen mother and sister. In 2003 Anne Heche's Call Me Crazy alleged sexual abuse as well as communicating with aliens. There aren't many other places to go after that. Last year John Lennon: The Life upped the ante by claiming that the Beatle not only had a gay relationship with Paul McCartney, but was also in love with his mother.

As the literary one-upsmanship continues from fake incest to aliens to real incest and gay relationships, the famous are going to have to dig deep to find accusations that will actually shock us into buying their sorry books.

• 2010: A new book about Elizabeth Taylor says that her secret to longevity is because she practiced Satanism at an altar in her basement. She also served as the inspiration for both Rosemary's Baby and Angel Heart.
• 2014: After his lover performing partner Roy's death, Siegfried Fischbacher writes a book about their life together and alleges that the only comfort Roy could find after his tiger mauling accident came when he started having sex with tigers. But only female tigers, because they are definitely not gay.
• 2017: Michael Phelps appears on the final season of Oprah to talk about his new book. He admits that during the Olympics he was on hormones, not because he needed extra speed, but because he's really a woman.
• 2020: Jennifer Aniston is finally ready to open up about her marriage to John Mayer, who wasn't really a human at all, but a shape shifting demon that she summoned through witchcraft and virgin sacrifice to kill Angelina Jolie. She fell in love with him instead. Mayer has no comment, but returns to the pits of Hades from whence he came.
• 2023: Lauren Conrad writes about her slide from fame into obscurity and how the loss of self-esteem lead her to make some odd career choices. She became a mid-priced hooker and drug trafficker that also ran a ring of very, very cruel puppy farms. Still, no one really cares.
• 2029: Suri Cruise finally pens a book saying that her mother married her father to become more famous and that her father often trapped them in the house for long stretches of time, not letting them talk to outsiders. She also says that they were involved in a cult with its own uniforms and crazy languages and that it kept her father from expressing his homosexual desires. It also eventually stole all of his money. Come on. Who's going to believe that?

Most of the ladies who gave up fearing Jesus remain happily married to their Chosen Person. Stunner Elizabeth Banks married the businessman Max Handelman in 2003, and her mother not only approved of Banks’ choice, but made the chuppah herself. First Lady of Dreamworks Kate Capshaw, though still hanging on to her surname from her first marriage, made the switch for Steven Spielberg, and Anne Meara’s conversion put a quasi-end to the primary source of material for her comedy act with Jerry Stiller, “Stiller & Meara,” which used their religious differences for many a punchline. And who can forget Miss Connie Chung, whose baffling adoration of silly Maury Povich convinced the anchor to go Jew for life.

But it’s not all dradles and festivals of lights! Model/actress/bimbo Nikki Ziering went through the lengthy process for, of all people, Steve Sanders himself, Ian Ziering. But predictably, the union went bust after four short years. However, Nikki’s still Jewish! And most memorably, Liz Taylor very famously converted to Judaism to become Eddie Fisher’s second wife, only to eventually become number two of five just a few years later. But her “guts and guile” found its way into Sex And The City, inspiring Charlotte to be proud of her decision to convert for her bagel-loving Jewish baldie, and even name her fancy puppy after Liz.

[Photo credits: Getty, FilmMagic, Wireimage]

• SACHA BARON COHEN AND ISLA FISHER'S WEDDING ON HOLD [Daily Mail]

If the original Indiana Jones sword, Elizabeth Taylor's Cleopatra wig or Madonna's stage-dusted "Like A Virgin" wedding dress suit any of your fancies, gather up your savings and join the Obsessive Hollywood Memorabilia Collectors With Too Much Money And Too Much Time Club! See a few of the most highly anticipated items below:

The sword used by Harrison Ford in the original Indiana Jones: Raiders Of The Last Ark, estimated to reach up to $50k:

The Wicked Witch of the West's original brimmed hat, as worn by Margaret Hamilton in 1939's The Wizard of Oz, expected to fetch $90k:

Christopher Reeve's complete Superman costume (including wig!) worn in the first two movies. Estimated winning bid? $90k:

And finally, with an estimated bid of 100 grand, we present Michael Keaton's Batman Returns costume:

You tell us: are these pieces worth all the moolah? Or do they look kinda like something you could pick up at Hollywood Toys & Costumes?

• FILM AND POP GEMS GO UP FOR SALE [BBC News]
• THE PUGLIESE POP CULTURE COLLECTION [Guernsey's]

· ABC rides the Dancing with the Stars semifinals to Monday night Nielsen victory, crushing the scripted series that will soon run out of fresh episodes and become unable to offer even token resistence to bad reality TV programming. [THR]
· Longtime Fox News anchor Shepherd Smith resigns with the network for a reported $7-8 million per conservative-pandering year. [Variety]

• THE FIFTY BEST BREASTS IN MOVIE HISTORY [FilmThreat]

When 75-year-old Elizabeth Taylor, married eight times to seven men, was asked in this clip from The Soup if she thought she might make it to nine before she died, the resulting squawk was instantly reminiscent of her announcement of "Glaaaaadiator!" as the 2001 Golden Globe winner for best picture.

Still, no one could have anticipated what followed—a nightmarish lycanthropic transformation that saw the violet-eyed living legend sprout fangs and a thick coat of fur, then bound out of her wheelchair and down the red carpet to disembowel Entertainment Tonight's Kevin Frazier.

• The Soup

Seemingly oblivious to her ever-deteriorating health, the wheelchair-bound star donned a mask and snorkel, and plunged feet first into the Pacific Ocean [off the coast of Hawaii] for a shark-viewing excursion.

Later describing the experience as the "most exciting thing" she has ever done, Miss Taylor allowed herself to be barricaded into a 10ft by 6ft Plexiglas cage which was lowered below surface level.

The violet-eyed legend has flirted with danger before—who can forget when she accidentally fell in with a cartel of unseemly, poker-playing diamond-smugglers. But with her recent feats of subaquatic daredevilism, Taylor has managed to stare down death in the eye with an audaciousness unseen since that weekend in August of 1993, when she forced Larry Fortensky to bring her to every Wendy's drive-thru in greater LA for a 48-hour, Big Classic-and-Frostie binge from which doctors said she has never fully recovered.

• Elizabeth Taylor fed to the sharks [Daily Mail via Towleroad]