<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, elizabeth hurley]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, elizabeth hurley]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/elizabethhurley http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/elizabethhurley <![CDATA[Insufferable Ann Leary-Novel Character 'Blelizabeth Furley' No Relation To Husband Denis's Best Friend Elizabeth]]> Ann Leary, wife of Rescue Me star and Libertarian tobacco-tax oppositionist Denis Leary, has written a novel, entitled Outtakes From a Marriage, in which the author has followed the age-old writer's maxim of writing about what one knows; in this case, what Ann knows is that her husband is entirely too preoccupied with the gravity-defying physical attributes of his BFF and frequent co-star, Elizabeth Hurley:

She's got a movie-star character named Susanna Mercer who's Australian, has a perfect bod and "only dates billionaires."

Joe Ferraro, the fictitious husband in the novel, is the star of TV's "The Squad." He "has a schoolboy crush" on the actress, the author writes.

In the book, Susanna "has no female friends," but invites Joe and his stay-at-home wife, Julia, to her party, telling them the dress is casual. However, the author writes, "Susanna wore a flimsy, and completely sheer, floor-length gown. ... Your eye was naturally drawn to the body underneath ... a body that appeared flawless, and was, except for the small triangle concealed by a pink lacy thong, plainly visible to all. ... Her breasts managed to stay firmly uplifted without the benefit of a bra."

"Susanna has irritated me on occasion over the past several years," admits the wife, clad in jeans and clunky boots.

While Susanna certainly sounds a lot like the glamorous Estée Lauder pitchwoman and international philanthropist of mystery, the publisher—who've spared no expense in finding only the finest scenes of softcore domesticity clip-art for its cover—insist that the book is a work of fiction, and that drawing any similarities between "that trampy Susanna character and Ann's lovely and close personal friend Elizabeth Hurley" would be a gross and unfair misjudgement, adding, "I mean, come on—Susanna is the face of Clinique, and came to prominence when her actor boyfriend starred in the sleeper comedy hit Three Bat Mitvahs and a Baptism. They're totally different people!!"

]]> http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5016262&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[British Tabloid Press Mounts Full-Scale Attack Against 'Trout Pout' Infestation]]> After turning their swarthy disdain for Jaffa Cake Knees into a full-out journalistic attack, the Brit tabloids are at it again, only now they've sunk their unmanicured claws into an affliction rampant in Hollywood they've dubbed "trout pouts." Known victims of said affliction, like Jenna Jameson and Heidi Fleiss, have long been injecting so much poison into their lips that kissing them might feel a bit like sucking on an well-inflated balloon. Angelina Jolie Pillow Lips, these are not. After singling out once-quite-pretty actress Saffron Burrows as the poster girl for T.P., they've unleashed their venomous pens on several other poufy-lipped ladies—and no group of newsies writes a meaner caption than the snarky Brits. NSFYH (that's Not Safe For Your Health) pics, along with their brush-offs, after the jump.

A few of their favorite punching bags, accused (justly, we must say) of being card-carrying members of Collagen Addicts Anon:

lizposhdon.jpg
On Elizabeth Hurley: "[Hurley's] bee-stung lips can't possibly be all down to make-up, can it?"

On Victoria Beckham: "Pucker up Vic, you're on camera. Mrs. Beckham has always maintained that her good looks owe nothing to surgical skill..."

On Donatella Versace: "Clearly struggling to come to grips with the onset of old age. But [for] all of her efforts to stave off the wrinkles it doesn't seem to be working that well."

[Photo Credits: Awful Plastic Surgery]

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