1. Nicolas Cage
We can think of no other actor more capable of tapping into both Miyagi's quiet dignity and flying-insect-assassinating ferocity than Cage—to say nothing of his intimate familiarity with Far East mysticism, having served for years as a pachinko pitchman on Japanese TV:

2. Dwayne Johnson
The professional wrestler turned movie star seems determined to prove to Hollywood he's more than a handsome action-lunk. What better challenge, then, than playing a 60-year-old, 5'5" Japanese WWII veteran and vintage auto enthusiast? If the physical transformation is convincing enough, perhaps there's even an Oscar nomination in the cards—as there was for Pat Morita.

3. Jackie Chan
The tender moments of surrogate father-son bonding captured by the original can only be enhanced by saucy half-pint Smith barking, "A CRANE KICK?! ARE YOU NUTS, MR. MIYAGE? I AIN'T DOIN' NO CRANE KICKS! MY KNEE IS SWOLLEN UP LIKE A CANTALOUPE!" as his sensei frantically responds something unintelligible back in comically broken Chenglish.

4. Jean-Claude Van Damme
Van Damme is overdue for a comeback—but while the Kaufmanesque and undeniably foreign JCVD may have won over the international critical community, it's not going to really satisfy the VD-craving masses. This is the part. This is the film. Bienvenue, vieil ami.

5. Samuel L. Jackson
Eleven words: "I want this motherfucking wax ON and OFF my motherfucking CAR."

• Jaden Smith set for 'Karate Kid' redo [Variety]

The film is being designed as a vehicle for Johnson, who starred for the studio in family hit The Game Plan and most recently completed Race to Witch Mountain. Disney denies the film has been titled Tomorrowland or is dedicated to the park's section, a futuristic area of the Magic Kingdom that includes such attractions as Space Mountain. The studio called the nascent project an original script.

Translation: A Rock film is cheaper and faster than updating that entire outdated section of the park. And while we can't necessarily blame Disney's frugality, the purists in us hope Tomorrowland: The Movie preserves the singular experience of waiting two hours among camera-slinging tourists for the privilege of space flight — assuming the spacecraft is not out of service on our chosen day of travel. It's not called the Happiest Place on Earth for nothing, after all.

• http://www.link.com">Johnson takes trip to 'Tomorrowland' [Variety]