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Living legend Dustin Hoffman stopped off at a Brentwood magazine kiosk looking to pick up his weekly fix of the celebrity gossip rags. However a crowd quickly developed once the I Heart Huckabees star arrived, forcing Hoffman to feign interest in more serious fare like the Economist and The New Yorker. The crowd eventually went away, allowing the Hoffeweizen to scoop his favorite mags. Walking away, Hoffman was overheard to have said, “Oh, I’m so glad to see Zac and Vanessa are so in love together.”

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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At the AFI Night At The Movies event held at the Arclight, beloved Hollywood icon Dustin Hoffman broke into a rather pitchy rendition of “Hound Dog” with Bullseye, the Target mascot. Hoffman and Bullseye fielded some requests from the crowd, but due to Bullseye’s limited vocal range, they were forced to perform “Hound Dog” one more time. After the encore, Hoffman hoped that Bullseye expand his song category in the future. Hoffman said, “I would love to do some old standards one night with old Bully. A night of Cole Porter? Bully is good, but he has a long ways to go."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

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An irate Malibu resident objected to iconic actor Dustin Hoffman's choice of t-shirt over the weekend. The woman didn't believe that the term "fruitcake" accurately described Hoffman and his career. The woman said, "You're not a fruitcake, Mr. Hoffman. You're a legend. A national treasure. Now, my sister who lives in Florida, she's the fruitcake. No kids, but she's got a spare room full of those little Hummel figurines and distressed Pepsi bottles. I mean, old Pepsi bottles as far as the eyes can see. Who does that?" Hoffman was sorry to hear about the woman's sister and explained that it was a gag shirt. The woman then told the Tootsie star that she understands the role of the gag shirt in society, but that Hoffman shouldn't be stooping to that level.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

His logic is crystalline, but alas, its political incorrectness is drawing even deeper consideration this morning as disability advocates wage war on the R-Word:

It’s just good clean fun, the studio might say, pointing out that the movie also pokes fun at racial stereotypes. It’s a sendup of old Hollywood films that trotted out able-bodied actors in disability drag, like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man and Sean Penn in I am Sam. Stiller isn’t laughing at people with intellectual disabilities, I can imagine his publicist saying. He’s laughing at the way Hollywood portrays them.

But for the estimated 14.3 million Americans with cognitive disabilities and their families, such arguments may be problematic. These people share a history of segregation and exclusion, and report that what many call the “R-word” reinforces negative social attitudes just as surely as racial, ethnic and sexually oriented slurs do. ...

“What we are seeing already is a cause of great concern,” [said Peter V. Berns, executive director of the disability activist org The Arc of the United States]. “People with intellectual and developmental disabilities have had a lot of pejorative labels assigned to them over the years. I’d like to think that we as a society are getting past that, but we are seeing one after the other examples that this is not the case.”

Indeed, Stiller's joke is on Hollywood and the likes of Hanks, Hoffman, Penn and others — not to mention the punchlines implicit in an industry whose urge to outdo itself seems directly inverse to its ability to moderate taste. That's all Tropic Thunder is in the end, and really, if it didn't go "full retard" the same way it goes "full megalomania" (with Tom Cruise) or "full junkie" (with Jack Black), it would be an even more protest-worthy clusterfuck of pulled punches and missed opportunities. We'd hate it, and those 14.3 million Americans (and their families) would still face much worse every few years come Oscar season. They still may, of course, but we have faith that once the "full retard" is out of the bottle, it's gone for good. Let the healing begin.

• 'Once upon a time … There was a retard’ [Patricia E. Bauer via NYT]

After a long campaign to get Edwards to entrust them, the producers have already met with agencies to package the romantic comedy. They hope to engage in a global search for a newcomer to play the new "10."

"Blake's timeless original encapsulated the fallacy of 'the grass is always greener' in relationships," said (Hyde Park chairman Ashok) Amritraj.

And someday some genius will pick up the same principal in a mockumentary of a fork-tongued producer who finds God after experimentating lazy shit like this — or, maybe even more appalling depending on whose hands it falls into, the musical remake of Valley Girl. The 1983 film no doubt shows its age these days, featuring a very young Nicolas Cage and a classic soundtrack that won't likely survive the Hairspray-ing the film will undergo at MGM — i.e., no Plimsouls cameos, folks. Sorry!

Finally comes Papillon, the 1973 Steve McQueen/Dustin Hoffman prison drama that we're probably most comfortable with seeing rebooted — preferably with Daniel Craig as the title character, on whose tale of escape from Devil's Island the film was based. If the producers, including Gladiator's Branko Lustig, dare to reuse Dalton Trumbo and Lorenzo Semple's screenplay, we might even bless this, but we know better: Stephen Sommers will probably be attached by Monday.

• MGM high on 'Valley Girl' comedy [Variety]

• Hyde Park to remake '10' [Variety]

• Producers team for 'Papillon' redo [Variety]

Amanda Peet: Even a Neil Simon script and eye candy provided in the form of Patrick Wilson couldn’t save Peet’s 2006 role in Barefoot In The Park from critical ridicule and a very brief run. The NY Times equated the theatergoer’s experience to watching paint dry, and said of her performance: "She's trying, really hard, to be funny and freewheeling, but it hurts.” Ouch.

Kathleen Turner: You would think no one could dare attempt to reincarnate The Graduate's Mrs. Robinson other than Nicolas Cage defamer Kathleen Turner. The husky voice, the stiff hair, the scent of desperation — all right up Turner’s alley. Sadly, the dame spent most of her off-stage time downing vodka and passing out on the theater’s bathroom floor. Watching Luke Perry fondle the elderly is painful enough — watching him fondle the elderly and unconscious? Impossible.

Denzel Washington: Denzel’s 2005 appearance as Julius Caesar wasn’t a flop per se, but, as is the case with too many of his movies, making a whole bunch of money does not a success make. Fanfare ensured the limited run filled seats, but reviews handily laid out the Unwelcome Mat for the unimpressive star on the Great White Way.

David Schwimmer: The NYT struck again, ripping to shreds Schwimmer’s attempt to erase Ross Gellar from our scarred memories by making his Broadway debut in a heavy military revival. Labeled a bland “pouty puppy,” Schwimmer didn’t let the swift exit of The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial deter him from killing off The Producers opposite the wildly high-regarded vocal talents of Larry David.

Julia Roberts: When being called a “lamppost” is the highlight of your critical fallout, you know it’s time to tidy up the stage and quickly put your total failure of a Broadway debut to bed. But not Julia Roberts! “Hated” by reviewers, unable to sell tickets for half of their going rate, Roberts’ blindingly bright star power dimmed considerably for what felt like the first time after boldly starring in Three Days Of Rain.

• HARTNETT TO STAR IN 'RAIN MAN' AS THE UN-RETARDED ONE [Radar]

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At the premiere of Kung Fu Panda, Dustin Hoffman had to step away from the Access Hollywood booth due to an interview that he thought he was too intense to handle so early on a Sunday morning. Hoffman remained mum about Access Hollywood's Billy Bush's particular line of questioning, but Hoffman did call Bush "the Woodward AND the Bernstein" of entertainment journalism. He also bristled when Bush called him "Dusty." "Dusty is a nickname reserved for friends, family and cast members in retrospective interviews," Hoffman said. Billy Bush offered up a different version of the story saying that he only asked Hoffman the standard questions. The standard questions included: his thoughts on Lindsay Lohan maybe dating DJ Samantha Ronson, does he know if Angelina Jolie has given birth for reals yet, what was it like working with Angelina Jolie, his thoughts about Heidi & Spencer and The Hills, what's up with the price of gasoline, what he'll be doing to celebrate the Fourth Of July and, finally, his recommendation for a good beach read. Bush said, "It's not like I asked him to solve the energy crisis or to rationalize the presidency of how George W. Bush!"

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

As Natalie Morales' best week ever continues, the (also expecting) Today Show correspondent revealed yet another tidbit: Hoffman decided to let her (and, by extension, the entire world) know that the twins are due on August 19th. As Lost fans, we should probably go ahead and find out what secrets hide behind the numbers 8, 1, 9, and 19, but we don't have enough time (or shame) at the moment. With her privacy sufficiently invaded, Jolie let her guard down during a press conference in Cannes after a reporter asked where she planned on giving birth: "I actually haven't completely decided...We are certainly thinking of France." Which means she can finally check off another country on her International Soccer Team Nationality Map! Sadly for Sweden, Jolie isn't feeling the Scandinavian love right now: "Asked by a Swedish reporter if she'd consider giving birth in Sweden, Jolie responded, 'Not at this time... But, you never know, there's more babies.'" More babies? Where are "more babies" hiding and what bizarre names do they have? More importantly, do they attack The Chosen One with utensils like the rest of the team?

• ANGELINA'S TWINS ARE DUE AUG. 19 [People]
• ANGELINA JOLIE ALLUDES TO GIVING BIRTH IN FRANCE [Us]
• THE TODAY SHOW [MSNBC]

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Dustin Hoffman may actually be America's oldest teenager (or at least America's oldest twentysomething) just on the verge of really making something happen.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

In today's episode: Vince Vaughn; Dustin Hoffman; Orlando Bloom; Brad Pitt; Cee-Lo; Gary Oldman; James Marsden and Ron Livingston; James Cromwell; Gary Busey; Matt Leinart; Wanda Sykes; Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel; Bill Maher, Will.I.Am, Patti LaBelle, and Roger Cross; Loni Anderson; Diablo Cody; Vivica A. Fox; Adrian Grenier; Matisyahu; Amanda Seyfried; Jimmy Fallon; Marcia Cross; Marg Helgenberger; Ellen Pompeo; Kelly Lynch; Joshua Malina; and Shane West.

· Jan 30 - Vince Vaughn was leaving the Arclight parking lot at the EXACT SAME TIME as me... (Sunday night) I guess US Weekly was right. Celebrities are just like us!

· I saw Dustin Hoffman eating breakfast at Coral Tree Cafe in Brentwood Sunday morning (1/27). Unlike most actors, he seemed taller in person...

· Orlando Bloom at the Black Rebel Mortorcycle club show at Safari Sam's on 1/25

· 1/17 [Ed. note: This one seems to have slipped through the cracks. Sorry for the delay.] spotted cee lo at the hollywood and highland american apparel, buying size xl jackets and hitting on the girl who was ringing him up. heard something to the effect of, "have you ever dated a famous rapper?" also- old news, but spotted brad pitt on the 12th or 13th walking into katsuya on hollywood blvd. gorgeous in person and for once, i was a little starstruck about seeing tyler durden IRL.

· While waiting in the pouring rain to get into Avalon around 10:15 p.m. on Saturday (01/26), a parade of upscale folks were exiting some sort of private event. Among them was a man in glasses who looked suspiciously like Gary Oldman. He was with three people, including an attractive brunette, and as he walked by me I heard the distinctive British accent which confirmed his presence. His group ran down Vine into the rain sans umbrella, and I wondered why don't we see more of him outside of Harry Potter movies?

· Saturday lunch at the cafe at American Rag, saw Ron Livingston walk in and have a leisurely lunch with his girlfriend, then spotted James Marsden (separately) at a table outside, playing with his iPhone, brunching with a girl, and talking about awards season.

· James Cromwell of BABE/QUEEN/24 fame dining with a similarly aged woman at Art's Diner in Studio City for lunch on 1/29.

· 1/22/08 Noonish, at the Staples in West LA. Gary Busey, looking just as crazy as he did on Entourage, grumbling to a cashier about the WGA strike, "I can't wait till it's over, so I can just get back to work you know?" He then did a few awkward spins in the aisles, maybe looking for divine intervention. Don't think he found it.

· 1/25, noon-ish. I see a tall, typical Westside frat boy type dude walking out of the Beverly Glen Deli. But then the glaring wardrobe choice made me aware there was a celebrity in my midst: NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, sporting a red Arizona Cardinals sweatshirt. Is that part of his contract or something? But in hindsight, I give Leinart kudos for not rocking the Tom Brady metrosexual look. Gisele dresses Tommy like he's a cast member of THE HILLS.

Later that afternoon, at the Ralphs on Ventura and Coldwater, Wanda Sykes intensely perusing the produce section. Except for some Kettle Chips, Wanda's cart was jammed packed with fruits and veggies. That's right, I looked.

· It's a little late, but on Sat 1/19 I saw Jason Schwartzman at RFD on La Cienega. He had longish (chin length) hair and a terrible 70's porn star mustache. He was with Zooey Deschanel and a couple of random hipsters.

· Bill Maher had a really fun weekend. He attended the Crustacean 10th anniversary party on Fri night in BH, where I saw him dragging that dark curly-haired girlfriend of his up the stairs to the VIP balcony area and rocking out to the unannounced performances by Will.I.Am and the high-voiced guy from Earth Wind & Fire and Patti LaBelle (girlfriend looks great for 63!). Also, Curtis from 24 (RIP, Roger Cross) was there. Then Sat night Bill took in the Fab Faux show at the Avalon, where I again saw him dragging his lady, this time toward the exit. He doesn't strike me as a Beatles guy, maybe he likes that two band members play in late-night talk show bands.

· Wednesday 1/16 - Loni Anderson at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, looking more and more like Wayland Flower's "Madam."

· Yes, Diablo Cody is just like us - like me, anyway: shopping at the WeHo Target on a rainy Sunday (1/27) morning, though she seemed a little less familiar with the store layout than I. I probably wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for her leopard print coat and knee socks wardrobe. The socks were SERIOUSLY fugly - grey and pink plaid. Can't wait to see what kind of quirkiness she'll be sporting to the Oscars...

· I was in Long Beach on Sunday (1/27) to visit Star Trek: The Tour at the Queen Mary dome. Geeky? You bet. But the woman I ran into at the box office (and saw inside) was actually wearing pointed ears and Vulcan eyebrows! They weren't enough to disguise the beautiful Vivica A. Fox, however, who looked to be having a great time with some friends. Live long and prosper, Viv!

· Jan 28 - A rare non-Los Feliz/SL area Adrian Grenier sighting last week: our twin silver Priuses (silently) hummed along side by side in Bev Hills. I let him in to make a right turn; my driving good graces would not have been extended had he been driving a Porsche or SUV.

At Murano, where the alter kaker gray haired set and the younger gays mix on west Melrose, my friend and I were utterly shocked when we spotted a group of Orthodox Jewish guys coming into the lounge to celebrate some party girl's birthday. Maybe it's our own internalized anti-Semitism at work, but weird and unprecedented for me to see Orthodox people in that sort of context. So it made a little more sense when we figured out afterward that a long bearded dude in the group was former-Chasidic-but-still-Orthodox-quasi-reggae singer Matisyahu. Talk about a confusing zig zagging social juxtaposition.

Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Veronica's dead bestie Lilly on V. Mars, and Big Love) was wandering the aisles of Mayfair today (1/28).

· Jan 31- I'm having breakfast Saturday at Clementine's and in walks Jimmy Fallon with a woman I assume is his wife/girlfriend/future wife. I believe she's one of the gals from D. Barrymore's company. Anyway, there was also a short guy with them - not sure of his story. And Fallon was wearing black jeans. And his hair looked just as I suspected it might if I were to ever see him in person.

· Marcia Cross (sans makeup!) and hubby escaping the rain at the Bigg Chill frozen yogurt on Olympic & Westwood on Saturday night.

· Tuesday, Jan 29 around lunch time, Marcia Cross shopping at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills with a woman with the same bright orange hair, which was just a coincidence, I think the other reddy worked there. Marcia in jeans and no makeup actually did not look scary like one might expect.

· Yesterday 1/29/08, spotted stripper turned CSI Katherine (Marg Helgenberger) in the valet area of Century City Medical Plaza/Hospital. She was wearing Ugg boots like every other female in at least a two mile radius (myself included). Sparkly beautiful huge rock on her finger. Nice sparkly car too. She was chewing her gum very hard and loudly either to a) get people to not talk to her or b) get herself noticed, I couldn't quite figure out which one.

· 1/24/08 - lunch hour: Ellen Pompeo and husband grocery shopping at the Fairfax Whole Foods. Eat, Meredith, eat. It's good for you.

· Kelly Lynch at Mustardseed, Saturday 1/26. She seemed to be friendly with the staff so maybe a regular though I've never seen her there before.

· Wanting to get my high protein burrito on at howdy's in the malibu country mart today, I spied a even-more-handsome-in-person former jed bartlett speech writer, current "big shots" philanderer (did anyone even watch that show?), joshua malina. he was working the still-on-strike-5:00-shadow and really was quite good looking.

· Jan 29 - Shane West at Jumpin' Java in Studio City.

In today's star-studded holiday spectacular episode: Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon; Sean Penn; Jack Black; Antonio Banderas; Dustin Hoffman; Elijah Wood; James Spader and Michael Rapaport; Leonard Cohen; Malcolm Gladwell; Benjamin Bratt and Talisa Soto; Dylan Walsh; Amy Brenneman; Giovanni Ribisi; Chris Noth; Jeremy Sisto; Dave Annable; Christopher MacDonald; Vincent Gallo; Rachel Dratch and Chris Parnell; Eve; Catherine Bach; Brandon Davis; Sean Hayes; John O'Hurley; Monica Lewinsky; Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed; John Lydon; Paul F. Tompkins; Randy Spelling; and Trevor Penick.

· Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon with some other actorly types at the 5:35 Dome showing of Sweeney Todd 12/29. Reese was wearing a baseball cap w/"Jake" embroidered on the side. Awww. Both were casual and cute. She is teeny tiny. Seriously.

Jake and Reese part 2 - when I got into the line to exit the parking lot, I was behind a black Mercedes, which then proceeded to pull up to the ticket booth and sit for five minutes while the driver obviously searched for his ticket. I suppressed the New Yorker in me and didn't lay on the horn, and was rewarded with the realization that Jake himself was the culprit. Stars, they're just like us! P.S. When I pulled to the ticket booth myself, the attendant was giddy from her five mins w/Jake. Don't know how Reese felt about all this; she seems pretty organized.

· Wednesday (12/19) I'm at the car rental office at Ontario Airport when I see a guy walk past who I think looks a lot like Sean Penn. But I think: Why would Sean Penn be renting a car at Ontario Airport? And besides, this guy is tall, and most celebrities are short. And also besides, this guy has a lot of gray hair, and Sean Penn is young and virile. A few minutes later, he passes by again, this time hounded by a car rental office employee very eager to have an autograph, and I realize it IS Sean Penn. He's in a big hurry but says he can sign something if she finds something for him to sign really fast. She produces a piece of paper, which he signs, then takes off. He's all alone, no entourage or assistant or companion or anything. The employee runs off with her prize, literally whooping and leaping in the air. I wish Sean Penn hadn't been in such a hurry so I could tell him that I liked "Into the Wild," and that my brother sincerely believes he hates America. Alas.

· Sat (12/29) - Jack Black with assumed nuclear family (child in plastic car, wife and 2 old people) at the Geffen Murakami show. Jack had a shaved blonde hair trim and was wearing a Coltrane shirt and seemed eager to view some paintings of jism.

· 12-20 - I promised my visiting mother some good celebrity sighting possibilities at the Grove. Just as the day was ending, with nothing but unnameable character actors everywhere, my mother entered Duck Soup and ran into Antonio Banderas as he was leaving. Mucho apoplexy and self-fanning. Her verdict: thin, unshaven and gorgeous. Merry Xmas, Grove.

· I'm pretty sure I saw Dustin Hoffman at Third Street Promenade today (12-28). He was walking by himself, talking on his cell phone and wearing a Rolling Stones jacket.

· saw ELIJAH WOOD doing some last-minute Christmas shopping on Monday, 12/24, at Anthropologie/3rd St. Promenade. looked a bit overwhelmed and overloaded with bags.

most surprising? actually short + hobbit-like in person. least surprising? piercing blue eyes.

· At the Murakami at the MOCA on Friday 12/28, the line was very, very long—way out the door. Not for Michael Rapaport though, who probably lives in some sort of alternate reality where he's really famous and people give a shit about him. He was a huge dick and cut in front of the whole line to buy his tickets. I was in the middle of buying my tickets, and he didn't even wait until I finished. James Spader was also there but he obeyed the rules.

· He's my man: Leonard Cohen, younger Asian wife, and a white couple with a newborn that spent plenty in time in grandpa (guessing here completely) Lenny's lap during a particularly delicious brunch at Ammo on Sun, Dec 31. I mean it was totally gross! Keep waiting on line for Doughboys across the street! Much better!

· Visited LA over New Year's for a reunion of my college roommates (go UNC!) and was able to squeeze in a couple celeb sightings. First, saw Michael Rapaport sitting outside Brooklyn Projects on Melrose on Sunday afternoon 12/30. Only noticed him because I damn near tripped over the broken skateboard in front of him. Then, saw Ron Livingston and his "Standoff" costar, Rosemarie DeWitt, in line at Whole Foods by the Grove standing in an endless line on New Year's Eve to buy overpriced groceries with the rest of the masses.

Oh, and earlier that day around 1 pm, I was trying to get breakfast at Rockenwagner's cafe on Abbott Kinney, and took over the tiny outdoor table in front of the bakery from Malcolm Gladwell, the author of pop-science greats "Blink" and "The Tipping Point." He was dressed in skinny jeans and was wandering around by himself with what looked like a manuscript in his hands. His giant fro is unmistakable.

· Benjamin Bratt, looking very doable in all-black on my LAX to EWR flight on 12/18. Traveling with beautiful wife Talisa Soto and two cute kids on a rainy day, he kept his sunglasses on all the way from the back of the very long gate check-in line. When he actually reached the flight attendant, he popped them on top of his head and clearly poured on the charm with the holder of all crosscountry seats. Hmmm, did you not start out with those cushy front row of first class seats, Benjamin? In any case, was very low key and seemed very into his family. Too bad his hip length coat was hiding what looked like a luscious butt. Traveling is touch, Benj, give us SOMETHING to dream about on a 5 1/2 hour flight!

· AA's LAX to Boston flight Dec 22.... None other than Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck's Sean McNamara) looking fretful in 1st class, and upon de-planing at Logan, spotted a very normal-looking Amy Brenneman (TV vet of Judging Amy and the unwatchable Private Practice) with husband-type and kids. Looked like the neighborhood MILF...

· January 1, 8 pm- After finishing an early dinner at Osteria Mozza (crispy duck and burratta with leeks vinaigrette) and while still trying to conjure up the name of the b-list tv celeb/happily working actor having dinner with his family next to us, ran into Giovanni Ribisi at the valet. He was leaning James Dean style against the wall giving everyone a pointy eyebrow look, probably trying to hypnotize us with some kind of Scientology mind trick. He was small and pale with a very expressive face. Standing next to him was a small and pale little girl, perhaps his sister. Was very gracious when a valet shook his hand.

· A biggie — Pavillions, Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood/Boystown, reading Page 6, New Years Eve, in serious need of touching up his roots, with weirdly dark eyebrows, pale skin, and a paunch. You guessed it — Sex In the City 'hottie' Mr Big, Chris Noth. The gays were all filling their baskets calmly (sort of), so I guess SJP wasn't there with him.

· January 1 - Jeremy Sisto was standing outside of Arclight, totally alone & looking both confused and as maladjusted as most of his characters. Throngs of people everywhere, but Mr. Sisto was in a clearing and looking around as if he was waiting for someone. Scruffy, just like he was every other time I've seen him. Had a Borders bag with him...which, come to think of it, makes me think he really likes book stores, because I've seen him twice in two different Barnes & Noble stores. Maybe he's well read. Definitely, he's taller than you average actor.

· Saw cutie Dave Annable at the Nordstrom's Westside Pavilion location on Tuesday 12/18 afternoon. In jacket, baseball cap and jeans, with another similiarly-attired guy. No mini-blonde in sight...

Veteran character actor Christopher MacDonald spotted at the Ozomatli HOB show Thursday night, 12/20. Dude is aging well...looked like a C-O-O-L rider.

· For your holiday star sighting blog entry...I saw Vincent Gallo in the produce section at Whole Foods on sm blvd/Fairfax last night, 12-26.

· On either Dec 11th or 12th, Rachel Dratch and Chris Parnell of SNL (or formally i suppose), biding their time in the gift area at the Arclight around 10 PM. They appeared to be even heights, meaning he is comically short and she is about a phonebook taller than you would think. She did look done up, but overall they did not seem to be on any couple-related business.

· 12/25/07
I'm in the security line at LAX trying to get on my flight to start my Xmas vacation when who do I see in the line in front of me? The rapper Eve. She was lookin' pretty good and I must say that I find that Tambourine song very catchy. Gotta give her props because she only had one hanger-on with her although she was being escorted through the airport by some "official " looking dude. She had go through security just like the rest of us peons.

Honorable pseudo-celebrity mentions:
American Airlines flight to Maui in the first class section Catherine "I used to be Daisy Duke" Bach. Wow. Girlfriend has really let herself go big time. She had herself crammed in a red velour sweatsuit that looked like it was about to burst open. Also, REALLY BAD dermal filler of some type in her lips. They looked so fake!

01/01/08 I'm waiting for my several hours delayed flight back to LA from Maui (Thanks American Airlines!!!) and I spot Brandon "Firecrotch shouter" Davis in the airport. Not as fat in person, but walking around in all of his greasy faced glory. He ended up making his flight to LA on United wait for him. Who does he think he is? Someone famous?
That is all to report.

· Saturday 12/29 Wandering through that little alley at The Grove (J.Crew/Whisper Lounge/side elevator to the parking lot), spotted Sean Hayes braving the throngs of common folks. Boyfriend and I spotted him at the same time & looked to each other for confirmation—yes, it was him. He was with a smaller dude and had on his requisite baseball cap. Seriously, is that thing stapled to his head?

· Since all the A and B-list celebs were on holiday, I only managed to catch some lower-level celebs about town.

My friend and I were at the Bel-Air Hotel NYE champagne gala and saw the nimble J. Peterman, AKA John O'Hurley of "Dancing With the Stars" fame, with his wife and another couple. He sadly disappeared before the unlimited champagne fueled dancing session started, robbing us gala-goers of his fancy footwork.

The next day, Jan. 1st, my friend and I were lunching at Nate & Al's on Rodeo when we saw Monica Lewinsky with a male companion. It looks like she's gained back the weight she lost, along with Linda Tripp's weight. I wanted to ask her who she was going to vote for this year, but she was busy eating.

· So I was dropping my girlfriend off at LAX this morning. She was flying to Mexico on Delta. At the Delta International terminal (longest line I've ever seen to check in, literally wound out of the building and down the sidewalk). My girlfriend and I had just said goodbye. Suddenly as I was walking away I saw, being guided by a Delta robot/security guard, the whole Simmons brood — Gene, Shannon Tweed and the two kids. They were whisked past the whole line (ahhh, the privileges of flying first class, no doubt), and taken to a fancy elevator right to the screening area. I have it on good authority that they were all headed to Puerto Vallarta. Gene looked as you'd expect: tall and creepy. His son's tall, too, but not nearly as creepy looking. Didn't get a good look at the daughter. But man, Shannon Tweed still looks hot as f*&k! Go, Cougars! Thanks, Defamer!

· Took a walk in Venice today (12/25) and was overcome with a mix of nausea and intrigue when I noticed a shirtless John Lydon sunbathing while reading his paper. He was bloated, pale and hairless.

· 12-21 - Paul F. Tompkins helping his lady friend choose a plaid coat at Forever 21 at The Grove while wearing white plastic frames with no lenses

· 1/2 - Saw the least-offensive Son of Hollywood, Randy Spelling, on my flight from Denver to LAX. It was a coach-only Frontier trip, so apparently Tori wasn't the only one cut off by Aaron in the will.

· Thursday Night, 12-20. Saddle Ranch Trevor from O-Town. I'm a loser.

In today's episode David and Victoria Beckham; Dustin Hoffman, James L. Brooks, and Amanda Peet; Keannu Reeves and Claire Forlani; Britney Spears; Julian McMahon and Adam Levine; Seth Rogen; Jason Schwartzman; Jason Lee; Derek Fisher; Richard Chamberlain; Andy Richter; Marcia Cross; Jason Biggs; Sandra Oh; Ron Jeremy; Chris Noth; Kenneth "Babyface" Edmunds, Tom Arnold, Dax Shepherd, Josh Randall; and Shirley Manson.

· Front & Center (Thurs 7/12) at the waaayyy warped "freedom of the press" on display as David & Victoria Beckham arrived via British Airways to the third world enclave that is the Arrivals Hall at Tom Bradley International Terminal (Terminal B) LAX. She - surprisingly demure and cordial / He - surprisingly SKINNY, but yeah a nice looking couple with 3 kids...however, WHAT is their allure? Very strange...considering our soccer stadium is in Carson , CA ...Compton adjacent...?? and they are "famous" because of his soccer playing...?? Mummy & Daddy were prepped and escorted out a side exit, whereby the children could exit the front doors to their waiting vehicles without the glare of the PIGNORANT PAPARAZZI!! (I mean there are COFFINS coming into airports back east carrying REAL HEROES...and the paps / press salivate over a "Victoria Beckham" or a "Paris Hilton". Strange. Very strange.)

· Thursday Night 7/12: Osteria Mozza:
Investor Dinner:
-Amanda Peet w/ husband & asst. friends.
Dustin Hoffman w/ his kids.
-Producer/Director James L. Brooks.
All there for the 8:30 PM seating & FREE Dinner , incl. wine, before
they opened to the public on Friday.
All looked happy & ate alot (of free food & wine)!

· Saturday July 14, Arclight Theaters. We wre there for a 5:10 showing of Transformers. Definitely not there for a 5:10 showing of Transformers, Claire Forlani and Keanu Reeves. I actually only saw Claire Forlani who is gorgeous and skinny but not scary skinny. When I don't have my glasses on people's faces are blurry so I tend to stare if I think I recognize someone, so I was staring at her and quickly looked away when I realized I only knew her because she was famous. Thus I did not see Keanu, but my sister told me after that is who she was with.—Says sister, "He looks really good...really, really good."

· Fri 7/14 - Ritual
Got a tip from a friend that Britney Spears was there and sure enough . . . I wandered over to the VIP area in time to see a couple huge security guys escort her straight to the back bathroom. No sighting of the new tiny dog.

Sat 7/15 - Roosevelt Hotel Pool
Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck) walked through the pool area in a suit looking way good.
Later, Adam Levine - SO skinny - came through with a few people. He has a little flock of seagulls haircut but otherwise cute.

· 7-15-07, around 3:45PM Insomnia coffeehouse on Beverly. As a dozen or so of us wanna-be screenwriters spend a beautiful Sunday afternoon plunked in front of our laptops, Seth Rogen and his girlfriend wander in. No one seems to take any notice. Seth was wearing sunglasses, dressed like every other semi-chubby hipster guy in L.A.. His girlfriend was cute in a non-actressy way. I wasn't 100% sure it was him until I heard his distinctive Canuck voice. He and his girl got their drinks then skedaddled out before anyone could pitch him their scripts. Once he was gone, everyone whispered to each other verifying that we'd all just been in the presence of Apatow's Annoited One.

· 7-15 In line at the Egyptian for a documentary on Harry Nilsson, as part of their Mods and Rockers series, I saw Jason Schwartzman, picking up his tickets right next to me. He was looking good, with his usual 7-day stubble. I really had no idea he was that short, though. Had a perfectly cute, but average looking girl with him.

· Monday jul 16th — Jason Lee decked out in "My Name is Earl" plaid-ness yet again. He was with a small group of friends..didn't recognize any of the others. They were at Rooney's CD release party at the Roxy, checking out Jason Schwartzman's musical project Coconut Records, who opened up. (His baby brother Robert is Rooney's lead singer and was in The Princess Diaries and The Virgin Suicides). Jason (Lee) and his gang were very amused when Jason (Schwartzman) sang a song with just an iPod and requested that the venue turn off all the lights so he could dance with a flashlight. It was pretty damn awesome.

· I saw ex-now-future Laker Derek Fisher at Saks in Beverly Hills today (7/13). I almost pooped myself. I mean, D. Fish, Mr. .04 himself was at the counter buying some ties. I even think one was in Purple and Gold. Bonus, I got a Dolce & Gabbana suit half off! I still think Kobe is going to leave...

· 7/14 & 7/15 - I don't know if you kids will appreciate this but... I saw Richard Chamberlain (Dr. Kildare, Thorn Birds, Nip/Tuck and he was the original Jason Bourne!) shopping for electronics at Century City on Saturday afternoon. Early Sunday morning, I spotted a solo and sans suspenders Larry King (watch him voice a bee version of himself in Bee Movie this fall!) strolling down Rodeo and heading into his fave place to nosh - Nate 'n Al's.

· While dining at delightful eastside bistro Blair's (7-16), caught a flash of Andy Richter, star of tragically short lived shows Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Andy Barker, PI, entering the "new" dining room. He was by me so quickly that I couldn't see what he was wearing or who he was with, but I would know that former Conan sidekick anywhere. I did not at any time consider shouting a quote from one of his sitcoms at him as he passed, as is the custom of my fellow privacywatchers.

· I saw Marcia Cross shopping in the Pacific Palasades July 12. I wish I could tell you which store, but I only remember that it was overpriced and the sales ladies gave me dirty looks as I touched their wares with my jam hands.

· @ Beverly Hills Benihana on 7/16 for a cooking show with the same 5 tricks for the last 30 years. Spotted Rebecca De Mornay with a bunch of children. She seemed out of it (exactly like I am after John From Cincinnati), She was nursing a couple of martinis and correcting her children's posture. She didn't seem to mind when her kids disappeared for 10 minutes while she toyed with her cellphone.

· Jason Biggs at All'Angelo on Melrose tonight (Sat. 7/14) with three people. Six or seven years ago the would've been an, er, bigger sighting than it is now, unless he's had some major recent career achievements I've missed out on.

· Tuesday, July 10 (a bit late, sorry): Saw Ron Jeremy with a much younger, dark-haired female companion at the Hollywood Bowl. Was a bit surprised, as it was classical music night, but I guess he likes Tchaikovsky, too.

Saturday, July 14: Saw Sandra Oh and assorted friends (and probable boyfriend) at the Hotel Cafe. She is very tiny in person — I am 5' 4" and was towering over her as she brushed past me.

· On Wednesday night I was drinking a Corona at the Cheetah, trying to estimate how many outfits each of the girls had, when suddenly, the sky parted angels sang hymns, and a hedgehog walked in. Yes, Ron Jeremy himself walked in. The giant sucking sound was the sound of every girl in the place running to meet him. I had hoped he was there to guest star in a floor show but it wasn't to be. Oh well. Mercedes was good for two songs.

· I had a "this dude looks way too much like Chris Noth not to be Chris Noth" sighting at the Peets at Sunset and Larabee today (7-16). I do have to say that the man is looking pretty good for his 50-some-odd years. He should definitely keep the beard.

· Saturday night, July 14th @ Arclight: Producer extraordinaire Kenneth "Babyface" Edmunds leaving one of the upper movie screens with his wife. Then inside the 4:45 Rescue Dawn showing, Dax Shepherd and Tom Arnold together, and Josh Randall (he was in the NBC TV show "Ed". I think he was the doctor).

· Saturday 7/14 — after 7 pm... my friend and I had just bought a ticket at the Arclight Cinemas. We walked north on Vine towards Kabuki's for a pre-movie dinner .... And right outside Borders Books, we pass 4 people heading south. I noticed the Redhead with the wild eye make-up - just as my friend said "Thats Shirley Manson of Garbage". I did not see where she had been or where she was going. Last I saw her and the three people she was with, they were crossing Sunset Blvd.

In today's episode: Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe; Jack Black; Colin Farrell; Dustin Hoffman; Michael Bay, Seth Green, Joshua Jackson, Lance Bass, Efren Ramirez, Josh Henderson, and Ben Lyons; Jennifer Jason Leigh and Noah Baumbach; Tom Freston; Cybill Shepherd; Wentworth Miller and Tia Carrere; Adam Brody; Benjamin McKenzie; Jonah Hill; Wayne Newton; Peter Cambor; Sanjaya Malakar and Phil Stacey.

· Spotted Chad Lowe at the West LA "Bed Bath and Beyond" store this afternoon (Wednesday, June27). He was slumming it in jeans, t-shirt, and ball cap, in the small kitchen appliance section of the store. Looked good, but definitely not a Defamer worthy sighting.

I ended up behind him in the check out line, and this is where the story finally becomes interesting. He suddenly jumped out of the line and ran over to a brunette he spotted in the nearby return section. They enjoyed a loooong hug and when they pulled apart, lo and behold, I could it was ex-wife Hilary Swank, looking quite beautiful while dressed down in a white t-shirt and beige jeans.

They spoke and beamed at one another for about a minute before returning to their separate check out lines. They were quite comfortable with one another, and it was a sweet little moment to witness.

· 6/28 - I had lunch at Mozza on Thursday and to my surprise saw only one celeb (though the place was probably crawling with industry types). Jack Black was seated at the table next to me and had a lengthy lunch with a couple of non-famous, or at least unrecognizable, guys. He looked pretty subdued but appeared to be enjoying himself.

· June 26 I just saw Colin Farrell drinking a latte or some other coffee drink with three other guys at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf behind CAA's deathstar building in Century City.

· 6/27/07 at 4pm Just saw Dustin Hoffman pull up to the Brentwood Longs Drugs in his prius (of course). Wandered casually into the store and added a few pumice stones to his cavernous cart, while talking on his cellphone. Looked a little lost, but who isn't since they did remodeled. Khakis and polo and a gorgeous antique watch complemented the relaxed Westside afternoon loafer look.

· At the "Transformers" premiere in Westwood on 6/27 - Josh Henderson (looking just like you'd expect of someone who's done Paris - totally gross and totally out of it), Joshua Jackson (thin, in skinny man jeans, but still looking really good, still don't want him to be Fletch), Lance Bass (he had dark hair, looked like, you know, himself), star Kevin Dunn (very nice to fans), Seth Green (dark hair, short as ever, on the non-star blue? carpet), Efren "Pedro" Ramirez (he, frankly, looked insane), Ben Lyons (the E! guy, actually really cute and really nice), and Michael Bay (the man himdamnself, whom I accidentally got drunk and accosted with weird compliments; sorry, dude, your movie rocked!). Is it wrong that even after this motley crew of sightings, I still feel empty inside because of NO Shia sightings???

· Tuesday night was on my way to meeting friends at a bar on 3rd and outside Orso ran into the valet stand hubbub. Slowed down drive-by style and was rewarded with Jennifer Jason Leigh hugging it out with dining companions including hubby Noah Baumbach (sporting a beard to stave off the ravages of age?). Speaking of which, JJL was looking good for an actress of a certain age.

Deposed Viacom CEO Tom Freston was also there, digging up some scratch to tip our red-vested friends. Unclear if they dined together to discuss The Anniversary Party 2 as comeback vehicle for Freston.

· Stopped by Amoeba yesterday afternoon (6-27) to see if Paul McCartney was doing some pre-show shopping, spotted Cybill Shepherd instead. Is she a fan??

· Friday morning 6/29 - stopping at my on-the-way-to-the-office
Starbucks in Larchmont Village and hit a two-fer: As I'm parking,
the former 'Babe-Raham Lincoln' of Wayne's World, Tia Carrere getting into her german import in the spot next to mine. Not so much with the "Schwiiiing" these days. Next, as I await my new and rather tasty breakfast sandwich to emerge from the microwave, I notice Wentworth Miller of Prison Break waiting for his venti soy latte. Very normal and unassuming in shorts and tee albeit for the trademark buzz-cut and blue eyes. The actor cum barista says to him "you ready?" which I assume is a reference to production starting up again and he replies "I don't have a choice". Really? Come on guy things be worse, you could be on the other side of the counter kissing the ass of some pretentiously named TV actor, cheer up millionaire!

· My boyfriend and I saw Adam Brody at Canter's Deli around 1:45am on Sunday night/Monday early morning. He had about a few day's worth of facial hair growth, generally looked unclean and was skinny as hell. I covertly told my boyfriend it was him and he was skeptical until he spied his name on his driver's license (boyfriend was standing behind him in line, waiting to pay). Some girl noticed him and was vaguely trying to talk to him even though he had his hood up and looked like he really didn't want anyone to be noticing him. Still, he seemed nice to her even though he bolted out of there once he finished paying.

· Thursday, June 28th Just had lunch at the 3 Square Bakery on Abott Kinney where I saw Benjamin McKenzie enjoying a salad and perusing a script at the empty communal table. He is cute and compact in that "weren't you on the varsity soccer team at my high school?" kind of way. I was hoping he would reenact one of his Emmy worthy freak-out-and punch-the-wall scenes that made Ryan from Chino such a crowd pleaser, but sadly, he was just another cute guy eating organic greens in Venice.

· 6/26, around 8pm. Spotted a cute husky guy on a bike on the corner of 3rd and Crescent Heights. Upon closer inspection/abject staring I figure out its Ebay-store scene stealer Jonah Hill. It took me a second to recognize him because he had a serious beard going along with his fro, which made him look a lot older. I was taken back by how cute he looked in his black t-shirt and jeans, and also the fact that he was riding a bike (although it was in distinctly hipster-ish way). He stopped on the corner to mess with his Ipod, which he returned to his bright red messenger bag before continuing down the street. I was in my car, so therefore resisted the urge to ask him for Seth Rogen's number.

· Leaving an appointment on the Disney lot (6-28). I see a weirdly skanky looking blonde. 50ish with really bad roots and leathery tan. "Who could that woman be with?" I think to myself. Then I saw him and realized there really was only one possible answer: Wayne Newton. Wearing sunglasses with the blackest hair you've ever seen. Is it fake? Real? Plugs? I couldn't tell, but there was definitely something odd about it. My friend and I and the security guard shared a nice giggle.

· Location: Abbot Kinney - Stroh's Coffee Shop
Target: Peter Cambor (ABC's Notes from the Underbelly)
Date/Time: 6/28 10AMish

My co-workers and I stopped by to grab some much needed coffee. Even before I entered into the café, I noticed a cute guy (sunglasses on) sitting outside with his dog and a friend. He looked really, really
familiar.

I get my coffee and stand outside the café with my co-worker as I rack my brain to figure out where I've seen that "cute" guy. Not from show Office... Was he in Knock Up — no, he wasn't Paul Rudd.

As my co-workers and I neared the office, I ask them if they saw that guy and recognized him. My co-worker comments that the dog was beautiful.

Then I realize that it's that guy from the show about people being
pregnant on ABC. Of course, I look it up on ABC.com but the show isn't listed anymore (cancelled?!). I then remember it had that girl from the Rice Cake commercials in it too (she was pretty funny actually).

Googled: Rice Cake commercial which led me to Yahoo Answers which led me Rachael Harris' imdb site which led me to Notes from the Underbelly which finally led me to Peter Cambor. If anything, this made me realize that I have way too much time on my hands.

Thanks for listening,

· Tuesday June 26 2:30pm @ Urth Cafe on Melrose...TWO! American Idol Contestants walking down Melrose in front of Urth Cafe. Phil Stacey (the bald dude) and Sanfuckingjaya!! There was a third person with them but I didn't see their face. For all I know it could've been that beat box dude. No crazy hairdo for Sanjaya. He and Phil were not holding hands.

In today's episode: Forest Whitaker; Orlando Bloom; David Caruso; Dustin Hoffman; Jay Leno; David Spade; Ryan Reynolds; Tony Hale and Kelly Clarkson; Tim Allen; Tim Allen; Giovani Ribisi, Danielle Rees, and Zooey Deschanel; Scott Speedman; Thomas Lennon; Meg White; Brooke Burke and David Charvet.; Ben Harper and Laura Dern; Donald Faison and Cacee Cobb; Mario Lopez, Dante Spencer, and Isaac Cohen; Nick Carter, Brian Littrell, and Howie Dorough; Justin Guarini and Jesse Camp.

· So I went to this Hollywood Reporter reception at Crustacean on Monday and was enjoying wine and mini-bowls of garlic noodles when Academy Award Winner Forest Whitaker (please bold entire phrase) cruised by with his wife. Good sighting, but it gets better. On his way to the door, a little Asian guy in the jazz/R&B band notices Forrest and announces on the loudspeaker "Forest! Forest!" and somehow convinces the couple to come to the front of the room. The guy then proceeds to get everyone's attention and SERENADE him with John Lennon's "Imagine." Extremely awkward. The crowd just kind of looked on in puzzlement. But Forest was gracious, posed for a few photos with that little woman who owns the place, then high-tailed it to the valet (literally I think I heard screech marks when he pulled away).

· — Viceroy Hotel in Palm Springs (Saturday 10 March)...was lounging by the pool with cocktails and friends and saw what looked like a weathered version of David Caruso...yeah, you can guess where this is going...it was David Caruso. He was down there for his wife's birthday and she brought 4 fellow gays with her (2 of which were quite hot). They appeared to have a few small children (his?) and nannies in tow. He said hello and seemed like a nice guy but I really wanted him to pull his sunglasses down and tell me I was going to jail for killing his brother or something.

— Il Sole (12 March)...birthday dinner with friends (long ass wait but amazing food) and in strolls Orlando Bloom with an angry publicist type. Its not a big restaurant but he proceeded to be greeted by or greet someone at almost every table. There was one oversized blonde with an English accent that hovered around him most of the time...she looked familiar but I have no idea who she is. Orlando was sporting some curly brown locks and a cute sweater. He's a bit too girlish for my taste, and I don't think he can act his way out of a paper sack, but he's cute so who cares. Four paparazzi were waiting for him outside the restaurant.

· 3/12 pm- Saw Mr. Focker himself, Dustin Hoffman, at my current fav restaurant and serious Cougar hangout, Bandera in Brentwood. Pretty much what I expected him to look like, and seemed really nice. I was hoping to see him with Sacha Baron Cohen, since I've heard they've been joined at the hip lately- but no luck. That would have been niiiicccceeee.....

· I'm driving down some side street in Burbank last week trying to beat the traffic on Hollywood Way to the Burbank Airport, when I see some aged contraption ahead with billowing mounds of black smoke coming from where the exhaust pipe should be. I mean this thing was a pollutin' machine. The neighbors probably thought the street had been closed to film the next Towering Inferno movie. I pull up alongside the driver, give him a dirty look, and it's none other than Jay Leno. He doesn't smile, just returns the dirty look, I pass him and continue on my way.

· if you ever want to have breakfast with david spade (and why would you?) he can apparently be found at the belmont on la cienega. the last 3 times i was there with family he was eating inside with "his posse". my mother says he has "dookie drawers" which means he has a big ass. i don't know if he actually wears adult diapers full of shit but whatevs. he's usually there with kevin farley ( brother of the late chris farley) who looks good. david is, per usual. tiny and a bit girlish. does heather have lezzie tendencies???

· Fri 3/16 @ 11:50am - Van Wilder himself, Ryan Reynolds, getting ready to ride off on his silver Ducati motorcycle on Roxbury Drive and little Santa Monica. The bike caught my attention first before the rider.

· Saw Tony Hale and his lovely wife at the amazing Patty Griffin show at the Wiltern tonight, 3/13 — Buster was always my favorite Bluth so I had to try hard not to geek out. They seemed very normal/cute.
Also saw Kelly Clarkson at the same show, very low-key ... hat and no makeup, and accompanied by an older woman—maybe her mom? Thumbs up to Kelly for her taste in music ... I knew I always liked that kid for a reason!

· gelson's studio city, tues nite, about 6ish. there's tim allen, who's next to me in the frozen pizza section (wouldn't he have a personal chef or something?) he opts for digiornio's while i get california pizza kitchen. he gives me one of those "surprised friendly" smiles that makes me think at first that i know him. all i can think of is that heonce got busted for DUI, right? i never watched "home improvement."

· Giovanni Ribisi with a newly blonded Danielle Rees, Zooey Deschanel and other male friend at the dive bar "Little Joy" in Echo Park. The girls are both gorgeous in person albeit quite a bit thinner than I'd imagined. They were hamming it up in the dj booth while the fellas looked on. Giovanni, like a fine wine, is getting better with age. I'd never thought of him as "sexy" before, but a few dignified lines and some facial hair have changed my heart. All four of them were drinking water or red bull all night. (Scientology thing maybe?) They seemed happy. No PDA to be seen though.

· Wed 3/10 @ 4:00pm - A very bearded Scott Speedman outside the Arclight lobby by himself heading towards the parking lot.

· Saturday, the 10th, spotted Thomas Lennon from Reno 911 walked in the Jamba Juice near Beverly Center. He was sporting his character's famous 'stache and enjoying a morning walk with his dog. About an hour later, inside Bev Cen, Dita Von Teese was walking near the Louis Vuitton store. She looks EXACTLY the same in person, jet black hair, red lipstick, and a tight black outfit.

· Thursday, the 15th, Meg White from The White Stripes was dining at Swingers on Beverly. She looked totally casual and relaxed, even though it was 2 in the morning. Two guys joined her at the booth, but Jack was not there.

· Don't know if this counts as a "celebrity" (the line is murky these days), but saw Brooke Burke and hubby (??? looks like a leftover from "Baywatch") [ed. note Extreme Makeover's Garth Fisher M.D. Baywatch's David Charvet] eating at Blue Plate on Montana in SM on Sunday. I can't remember what she's famous for, other than taking her clothes off and some shit on E! She was in a sun dress thing-y and flipflops that probably cost more than all of our meals combined. Sunglasses and baby strapped to her ample (fake) boobs.

I'm not a fan of her (looked very plastic), but the other two males thought she looked good (the woman in our group gave her a "eh"). Apparently Brooke and her annoyingly LA hubby forgot to either pay or take their credit card. Weird confusion that resulted in the waitress running after them. They came back to clear up the confusion, but by then the four of us had lost interest in the soap opera.

Mere seconds later, Ben Harper and Laura Dern sauntered by (near the Peet's at the corner). Looking attractive, tall and lean— they're a couple who looks like they enjoy a lot of sex. Usually I'm not a Laura Dern fan, but damn...she was looking fine. And Ben is almost hot enough to turn a man gay. I thought to myself that I'd kill for that physique (as I puffed stupidly on my post-breakfast cig). My brother was visiting from out of town, so it was a nice "welcome to LA" morning. Now, if only I can stumble across Grace Park, I'll die a happy man.

· 3/11 - On Sunday, I passed Donald Faison w/ Cacee Cobb pulling into the parking lot at the Coffee Bean on Sunset & Hayworth. He was driving a black Prius and looking very happy.

· Shopping at Macy's Glendale Galleria last Friday afternoon (March 10) when I ran into Isaac Cohen, Britney's ex, browsing the men's department.
I stuck around for a few minutes later and realized he was there to work a Cubavera event. Around an hour later, Mario Lopez shows up for a meet and greet.
People lined up to see him flash the mega dimple smile and maybe see him strut his stuff, but no dancing there. And to complete the trio of man candy, Dante Spencer (I know he's Paula Abdul's ex because somebody said so) also worked the room. I must say, all three were easy on the eyes and caused quite a stir among the ladies.

· Saturday March 10th. Mario Lopez of Saved by the Bell fame with hot Latina in tow at the Magic Castle. At one point during a show, a magician called out, "Hey Mario, I see you here all the time. Are you a member or something?" to which a slightly embarassed Lopez replied in the affirmative. So I guess that's what he's been doing since the Bayside years ended.

· Yesterday, March 13th at Koo Koo Roo in Museum Square area on Wilshire Blvd. Three Backstreet Boys, Howie Dorough, Brian Littrell, and Nick Carter (I had to look up their names on the internet) were spotted having lunch with two other guys. We did not see them leave as they exited out the back door. Imagine that...the Backstreet Boys going back door?

· Tuesday, 3/13.

So I waited on Justin Guarini tonight, along with two of his friends. He's fairly tall, reasonably polite, but needs a haircut. But on to the important stuff:
Their bill was $167. My tip? $10. Stellar. Really classy. To be quasi-fair, they paid $140 cash and Justin put the rest on his card...and he was the one that left a tip. So one could make the argument that he tipped me well, but his friends are fuckers. However, Justin, you're still culpable because you have shitty, ill-bred friends who stiffed me.

· I don't even know if this counts but it's definintely a random sighting.

On the 304 bus this morning heading toward Santa Monica, I'm almost positive former mtv vj Jesse Camp was passed out a few seats ahead of me. Homeboy is still going for the homeless glam rocker look. Eventually woke up and began text messaging before getting off somewhere in Santa Monica. Maybe a meeting at mtv??? Bizarre.

In today's episode: Ben Stiller, Laura Dern and Ben Harper; Sacha Baron Cohen and Dustin Hoffman; Alanis Morissette; Mark Ruffalo, Fab Moretti and Danny Masterson; Emily Blunt, Courteney Cox and John Glover; Ellen Pompeo, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.; Gwen Stefani; Tony Hale; Jason Lee, Adam Goldberg, and Giovanni Ribisi; Rebecca Gayheart; Sharon and Kelly Osbourne; Whitney Houston and Ray-J; Busta Rhymes; Tony Shaloub; Mischa Barton; Christina Ricci; Verne Troyer; Scott Bakula; Jonathan Tucker; Robert Best and Nyabel.

· Saw Ben Stiller Monday Morning 3/5 at The Brentwood Market. He was meeting with two industry guys, one flowing locks, one a fat bald producer looking type, wearing sprocket glasses. He was late to see them and totally apologetic. The guy acts genuine like a successful actor. Then moments later laura dern walked in with her Ben(Hey aren't you Lenny Kravitz?) Harper, husband. Well, Ben Stiller was SO glad to see them. He gave Laura's Ben a total soul brother handshake(Is this guy always on?) Then Laura Dern acted like she'd never been as happy as she was the moment she laid eyes on the fat, bald producer. She must've thought he might offer her a part. Has she worked since Jurassic Park?

· 3/2 - Alanis Morisette getting drunk and rocking out to UK singer/songwriter Alexi Murdoch at the El Rey

3.6 - dustin hoffman & son buddying up with sacha baron cohen & friends in a private booth during albert hammond, jr.'s gig at the el rey. sasha was actually pretty hot.

· celebrity trifecta. checking out the mooney suzuki / albert hammond jr. show @ the el rey, last night (3/6/07), when about halfway through the mooney's set, danny masterson strolls in. full beard, rolled up sleeves on his western shirt, looking good. he's with a small group of friends and alternating between doing the dude rock head bob thing and blackberrying furiously. slight titters of recognition travel through the crowd. funny because i was so transfixed by his bushyheaded hotness, that when my friend tapped my shoulder i turned around (annoyed) and noticed another bearded beauty. mark ruffalo and pretty blond and two male buds. no one seemed to notice the guy. not surprising since the average age of the crowd was 12. right before albert hammond jr. came on, their were a few girly shrieks and then there was fab. fab moretti obviously there to support his fellow stroke, graciously stopped for every fan with a camera phone and posed for pix. swell guy.

· last night at orzo 3.6 dinner inside at 7ish watching the door, my dinner compagion was dull meal was great..... 1st john glover straight to the patio after hugs with the staff, then emily blunt blew kisses then to the patio....then as we were leaving courteney cox, very tall to a table inside with 2 gal pals. 3 in about 15 minutes what fun!

· 3-7 Ellen Pompeo(alone and VERY THIN), Sarah Michelle Gellar(not as thin) and Freddie Prinze Jr. (together), at Whole Foods, at about 330pm today, Riverside and Coldwater Canyon, in the Valley(oh my God), all intently shopping, no eye contact

· 3-7 I was at Barneys (the store, not the Beanery) hoping that the bagels were flown in today so that I could take care of my rancid hangover, when who should I see, but Gwen Stefani and the beautiful little baby and the rest of Gwennie's pack. I really don't care for her music so much. She is much more angular in person. Really quite striking, not that it means I will buy her music.

· At the Sunset/Vine Borders, 3/5, 8pm-ish, I saw Tony Hale searching the DVD New Release aisle. He was dressed like every film school nerd I know, cords, oversized-non-descript shirt, baseball cap - but still adorable. After seeking help from an employee he found what he was looking for - a copy of Stranger Than Fiction.

· saturday march 3rd - midlake show at the troubadour. jason lee, complete with 'earl' stache and what looked like a knit hat he stole from the set of 'almost famous.' was whisked upstairs to the lounge, but came down a couple seconds later to rock out with the rest of the plebes. on the way out pushed to the exit with adam goldberg who stopped to talk to Giovanni ribisi. apparently the entire contents of silverlake/los feliz emptied out and carpooled to weho for the show.

· Monday, March 5, midday, Los Feliz:

was coming out of Soap Plant/Wacko on Hollywood, walking towards Vermont, when Giovanni Ribisi came swaggering past me in the opposite direction - we passed each other in front of the second hand store next door. That's right, he was *swaggering*. And wearing a motocross leather jacket despite the very warm weather. He's short. We stared at each other: I was trying to remember his name, and he may have been intrigued by the t-shirt from my employer I was wearing, which said "film crew" on it. I didn't turn around to see if he went into Wacko; I was too annoyed that it was the last day of my first trip to LA, and my only celebrity sighting the whole time had been a bloody Scientologist. What a gyp.

· Saw Rebecca Gayheart at the Peet's Coffee in Larchmont yesterday (3/8). She looked thin and trim but her famed noxema-caressed skin looked a tad leathery, perhaps from one too many cigs. She sat outside a friend. She laughed, smoked, talked on her cell, and smoked some more.

· Saturday 3/3/07 - Sharon and Kelly Osbourne shopping on Robertson. Same night spotted The Office's BJ Novak (Ryan the temp) having a late night meal at the 101. He looks exactly like he does on TV. 3/4/07 - Busta Ryhmes with 3 HUGE dudes looking for some shoes at Sportie LA on Melrose. He is tall and was sporting a lot of ice. 3/7/07 - I was having dinner at Crustacean in Beverly Hills - I saw Whitney Houston and her young love Ray-J walk by my table. It seemed that people in the restaurant weren't paying attention to them until they were outside and a ton a camera flashes went off.

· 3-8 I saw Tony Shaloub at Cafe du Village on Larchmont, sitting in a corner, back to the rest of the patrons, very scruffy, with another Lebanese looking dude. I restrained myself from going up to inform him that I haven't watched his show since Bitty Schramm got canned............

· What kind of losers photograph Mischa fucking Barton? Paparazzi morons, that's who. Today. (3-8) Through the window of a nail salon in thestrip mall at Wilshire and San Vincente. I can't believe I saw the gaggle and thought they were photographing a celebrity. So lame.

· 3-8 I thought I was in a celebrity safe zone at my new favorite sushi joint, Ike, on Hollywood and Gower. Turns out I was right. However, that still didn't stop east side somewhats like crazy-eyes-wannabe-killah Adam Goldberg and his little daughter, I mean woman, Christina Ricci, from barging into the peaceful space this past Monday night. Goldberg would be creepy, perhaps, if it wasn't so obvious that he wants to be thought of that way. Now please don't go to Ike! It is my haven, and clearly not a true celebrity peep zone.

· 3-9 Was doing some shopping at the Ralphs on Ventura and Vineland (where it's not unusual to spot that guy/girl from that TV/reality show you've never actually watched but know from the promos running in for some cigarettes after wrapping at Warner Bros./Universal Studios) when suddenly Verne Troyer rounded the corner and came rolling down the cereal aisle right towards me. He was in his own little Rascal, while a buddy (bodyguard?) pushed the cart behind him. I was highly amused as the 3 year-old in the cart next to me leaned down to say hi, and Verne gave him a high-five and a big smile as he rolled by. Unfortunately, the little Rascal wasn't as pimped as his custom Mercedes.

· 03/07/07 — VCA Animal Hospital at Melrose & Robertson — 7:40 a.m.

Necessary Roughness's Scott Bakula. His dog, "Cooper", was going in for surgery. Pray for Cooper. Pray for us all.

· Monday 3/5
Jonathan Tucker (from The Black Donnellys) at Truly Vegan in Hollywood with two cute girls. Wouldn't have recognized him if it weren't for the building-sized poster of his face down the block. Gotta say, vegan food sure is working for him - kid showed off some damn fine abs last episode. I still can't believe that Haggis melodrama took Studio 60's slot tho!

· My theater buddy and I randomly bumped into friends at the bottom of the escalators of Laemmle Sunset 5 Theater this past Sunday night. They had just finished a workout at Crunch. We were deciding where to go for diner after catching Forest Whitakers's Oscar Winning performance in the Last King of Scotland. Totally went for the performance- ended up loving the entire movie. Anyway, we caught auf'd season three Project Runway contestant Robert Best's tightly toned ass walking into CPK. I still say he's a fat boy trapped in a muscle queen's body.

We also noticed Nyabel from Janice Dickinson's Modeling Agency ordering up what I hope is a calorie deprived caffeine concoction from Buzz Coffee. Okay, I hate myself a little for the last sentence but girlfriend needs to lose another 15 pounds if she wants to be the poor man's Alek Wek. Oh and we choose Bossa Nova on Sunset.

In today's episode, chock full of Oscar nominees and winner: Leonardo DiCaprio; Nicole Kidman; Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett; David Faustino; Peter Falk; Dustin Hoffman; Drew Barrymore; John Krasinski and Rashida Jones; David Caruso; Wanda Sykes and Tim Bagley; Jimmy Fallon; Stockard Channing; Frankie Muniz; Lance Bass; Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz; Kathy, Rick and Conrad Hughes Hilton.

· Like an angel sent from heaven to console me over the loss of Anna Nicole, none other than Mr. Double Nominee himself, Leonardo DiCaprio, appeared in the gray, dreary halls of NBC today. Think he must be pitching his green town reality show idea. My coworker first spotted him WAITING in the suite of the alternative department. (How can the person who put on "1 vs. 100" keep LEO waiting??) The front lobby guard is calling us when he leaves so we can watch him walk out of the building. I suspect he came in the blue Prius in guest parking.

· Was exiting the Santa Monica Laemmle and noticed a gaunt blonde with a nondescript nerd in front of me as we crossed the street to the parking structure. Waiting at the elevator, it wasn't until some Day of the Locust dude walks up and asks said Gaunt One: "Hey aren't you Nicole Kidman." She laughs and says 'Yes' as Nerdboy takes her by the elbow, eschewing the elevator ride with Son of Sam and myself. P.S., Nicole and her Dude and I had taken in Peter O'Toole's "Venus."

· Saw Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett at Mastro's Steak House on Friday night (yes the night of his arrest) I was seated with my brother down stairs, the section devoted to Siberian Carnival Freaks when Farrah and Oliver Barret emerged from a back room, they literally did a conga line through the restaurant to the bathroom upstairs. Farrah looked her age while Ryan looked about 49 due to all the Teflon he has on his grill. We had the Dynamite Cab, I would not recommend it.

Saturday saw David Faustino at the Bar at the Sunset Marquis he was with a gorilla in a large leather jacket, he kept circling the tiny bar and continually whispered in the ear of Magilla Gorilla. Don't know what they were talking about. I had Ketal One on the rocks, I would recommend it.

Sunday, beautiful day, I was driving around in Beverly Hills trying to kill some time before my flight when who did I spot out for his morning constitution but Peter Falk. For someone who was exercising he was dressed pretty funny, slacks and a weird pink shirt. Since I've always been a big fan of his I yelled "Hey Columbo" for some reason he didn't respond. I had a large bottle of Poland Spring, Again I would recommend it.

· 2/7 around 11:30 am - Dustin Hoffman in front of Club Monaco [ed. note: No mention of which, but we're going with Sunset Plaza] yapping away on his cell phone.

· Wednesday, Feb 7th 1:00pm - Saw Drew "Stroke free" Barrymore at the Hollywood Whole Foods Market. Looked like she was grabbing some lunch. She was rockin' a serious 80's retro mod look with her little black mini-shift dress and the white Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. She looked adorable. Wanted to give her much respect for indulging a nerd's dream/obsession in "My Date With Drew" but alas, I restrained myself. She has GOT to be the nicest person in Hollywood because I cannot imagine any other actor/actress giving that guy the time of day. Good Karma Drew!!!!!

· Dining at Joan's on Third Super Bowl Sunday around 2, outside my friend and I were seated a table over from Jim [John Krasinski] & his on-screen love interest (the dark haired girl from Stamford) [Rashida Jones] from NBC's THE OFFICE. No big deal at first, but they left prancing across the street to a way hip hybrid Lexus SUV and started a quick little makey outtie for at least a long minute. So much for the fiction of it all.

· Delayed celebrity sighting - Wednesday of last week (1/31) I think - David Caruso walking out of a trendy art store across the street from the Pacific Design Center. He was followed by a man carrying Caruso's latest purchase, a Warhol print of Mao Tse-Tung. I am not sure how the rather large print was going to fit in his rather small car, and did not stick around to find out.

· Yesterday I was at Marix in the afternoon and I saw tim bagley and wanda sykes eating together inside. They were having margs, as one should always do on Taco Tuesday, and were there for quite some time before I got there (empty glasses), and left at the same timeish as we did (which was after a couple of hours). They took a pic with a little girl who looked like she was from out of town with her family.

· Tuesday 2/6, Formosa Cafe. Jimmy Fallon was milling around in a large party. He's really surprising in person because a) he's not a midget—he's tall for an actor—and b) he's sort of cute. My friend and I were arguing about whether one of us should go up and punch him in the face for laughing through every sketch he's ever been in...and then we wondered how many times that has happened to him because of Family Guy.

· Wednesday, 2/7 10AM - Saw "Rizzo" herself, Stockard Channing, on Main St in Santa Monica talking on her cell. Wearing all black and looking like she could use a vacation (*ahem* very tired). She finished her call and went into GroundWorks and waited in line behind me.

· Sightings at the West Hollywood Equinox are a dime a dozen, so I won't bore you with a rundown. However, last week I was going through my usual routine when I looked over at the next machine and thought "what's my 12 year old neighbor doing here unaccompanied by an adult?" When he turned around, I noticed the back of his sleeveless tee was emblazoned "Muniz." The kid is small, not in the usual smaller than I expected way (Cruise?), but seriously little. I don't think the Mohawk is helping to butch up the look at all either. If I were Frankie, I'd give Danny Bonaduce a call to get hooked up with 'roids and human growth hormone.

· 2/8/207 I was lunching today at Luna Park on La Brea. Lance Bass was there with two friends, a cute young man and an older sister looking type. They were very polite and kept to themselves. He looked good, very casual. Looks better in person than he does pictures, for sure.

· Friday 2/2 Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson doing some serious shopping(3 baskets were already full) at Sephora in South Coast Plaza. He is tall, nice and has a gorgeous smile. She on the other hand looked a mess, no makeup, stringy hair, leathery tan skin and scowled the whole time. She scowled even more and wandered away when we asked Tito for a picture(in our defense it was South Coast Plaza and we probably only got this sighting because he's an OC kid).

· On the 9:30 America West flight from Las Vegas to LAX on 2/5 I had the unfortunate opportunity to sit behind the youngest Hilton son. As Diane Court said, I have glimpsed our future, and all I can say is... go back. There is simply nothing worse than sitting behind a rich, pathetic 12 year old [Conrad Hughes Hilton]. While his parents Kathy and Rick were sitting in first class, young Mr. Hilton was sitting in the bulkhead seating, using his multiple electronic devices during take-off and landing (take that FAA regulations!) and at one point, lifted his legs and announced he was going to fart...sadly, he did. That though doesn't top when he announced that his friend, who was sitting next to him, was masturbating as soon as the lights turned off. Some how, he persuaded the flight attendant to give him pretzels which he graciously threw on the floor because, hey, he doesn't have to clean it up. His feet smelled as did he. I've never been so happy to see a flight come to an end. He was happy, because he got to take his brand new Playstation 3, and exit a plane full of commoners.

In today's episode: George Clooney; Tobey Maguire and Jeffrey Katzenberg; Reese Witherspoon; Dustin Hoffman; Christian Bale; Fiona Apple and John Krasinski; Wanda Sykes; Doug Benson; Tom Everett Scott; Laura San Giacomo; Maria Bello; Adam Levine; Jenny Schimizu and Chloe Sevigny; Ron Livingston and Daniel Franco; Casey Affleck; Traci Lords; Amy Smart; Gregory Smith; Phyllis Diller; Mindy Cohn and Busy Phillips.

· Saw George Clooney @ Jones Hollywood on Wednesday night (8/22) drinking with a few friends at the bar. He actually looks a lot taller and skinner in person than I imagined. Looks like he was engaged in conversation with a surprisingly wholesome looking redhead, and probably could've 'hit it' if he so desired.

· Wednesday night at the Commerce Casino Tobey Maguire and Jeffrey Katzenberg were playing in the same no-limit hold 'em game. They were sitting next to each other and appeared to be casually talking between hands. Could this mean that Spiderman will be making an appearance in the next Shrek? I would have jumped in with them, but the blinds were $50-$100, making it a huge game — much too rich for my meager bankroll. Katzenberg had about $20K on the table, and Maguire was in for about double that. I saw Maguire try bluff at a couple of pots, but he was raised and had to throw his hand away. Obviously, his Spidey sense wasn't working too well.

· Went up to Santa Barbara with my girlfriend over the weekend to visit my Pops and have a free dinner, maybe some inappropriate guest bedroom sex with the lady. I managed to pull off one of the two. Anyhow, next day, I figured I'd take them out to breakfast at the IHOP because, well, I can afford IHOP. On my way in I see a tiny little thing with a hat pulled way down. The impish figure in question turned out to be none other than the Ryan Philippe emasculator herself, Reese Witherspoon. In related, frightening news, my girl says "I knew it was her because I recognized the baby". * chills *

· Was having brunch with a friend at Coral Tree Cafe in Westwood Tuesday (8/22) morning and had the pleasure of an A list sighting—Dustin Hoffman sitting at a huge table in the center of the place. He was with a business associate of some kind, discussing things in earnest, looking at things written on legal pads. He looked exactly as one would expect, was dressed casually in jeans and running shoes, though the gray in his hair has gone a bit whiter. No one bothered him. He wasn't eating anything by the time I got there, which is good for him, because my mediocre pancakes cost $9! So glad I live on the east side—sure, fewer sightings of living cinematic legends, but better, affordable pancakes.

· Christian Bale Culver City, Target Store, Aug. 26, 2006, 6:00 pm ish
I'm about 90% sure it was him (he had the dark sunglasses and black baseball cap on). He was with his wife and little daughter, apparently just arriving, as they seemed to be getting the kid situated in the shopping cart outside, as I was driving away, frustrated and spilling a mocha Starbucks Frappucino on my cream colored shirt. I was frustrated because, well, anyone who's shopped in Culver City Target will understand THAT - insane amounts of people and empty shelves, and spilling the Frappucino because I forgot to sip and was thinking, would Batman really shop at Target? Funny, because I just saw the Machinist a few days earlier. He and his wife look casual, just normal. Wouldn't have even recognized him if I hadn't been driving so slow right by them.

· Was at the fab Revenge of the Bookeaters show Saturday night (Aug 26); as my friends and I were leaving, who should be exiting in the opposite direction but the breathtaking-in-person Fiona Apple. She was wearing a blue coat, looking super gorgeous and was with a man. But I was mesmermized by her eyes and her secretive grin, and so I didn't pay attention to him. She looked like she wanted to be left alone though, and I didn't pester her. La Apple looks like she is doing swell.

Also, please note - Mr. Donnie Darko 'couldn't make it', and instead we got the awesome John Krasinski! Totally a trade-up in my book.

· Wanda Sykes at San Vicente and Santa Monica. Walking towards Rage with a lady friend. She loves WeHo! Also.... Doug Benson getting trashed and taking pics with Best Week Ever fans at the Killers Troubadour show.

· living in the b and c list celebrity enclave of the san fernando valley, i am in constant contact with the kinda famous, almost famous, wanna be famous and shouldn't be famous. for instance, here's a b-list sighting (my rating, not the medias) - saturday morning, as i was heading out of the locker room at the 24 hour fitness in sherman oaks, who should i walk past, heading IN to the locker room but a gangly, unshaven tom everett scott. he's tall and even more good looking in person (if at all possible).
then, sunday afternoon, while strolling through the fashion square at sherman oaks, i ran across laura san giacomo and her son in the gap. as if that weren't enough for me, this morning (monday) at 8 am i'm at the cvs on ventura boulevard and noble picking up various sundries for my trip to new york and who should i spy buying scented candles and marie claire magazine but maria bello (another stunner in person)! my heart is full!

· Saturday night, 11:45 PM. August 26th, 5925 Franklin Ave. My friends and I had just walked out of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. We walked past a packed, sports/ post-collegiate bar, Birds, and decided to get a pint before our drive home. As we are being carded by a Pillsbury Doughboy-type doorman, lo and behold, sitting in a corner booth is Adam Levine, singer of Maroon 5. Dressed in a white V-neck t-shirt and drinking what looked like a pint of Stella. He is crouched in deep conversation with another white V-neck t-shirt wearing, Stella-drinking guy. The crowd either had no idea who this was, or they left this superstar alone. No one seem interested and everyone pretty much ignored him. Even when he stood up and walked into a thick crowd of people outside, then turned to light a cigarette. No one even gave him a second glance. Hollywood is amazing.

· Seen at the Sunset Junction Street Fair:

Former Calvin Klein model and blabby Angelina Jolie paramour: Jenny Shimizu. She was surrounded by friends, none of whom were Angelina Jolie, sadly.

Chloe Sevigny! She looked pretty much like your standard hipster sylph. I was happy to see she wasn't anorexic. Or fellating Vincent Gallo.

· Saturday night, 12:30-ish at the Bowery on Sunset: Ron Livingston having a late supper with some chick. Some guy from "Project Runway" was there, too; I've been told his name is Daniel Franco, but since I don't watch the show and don't pay attention to reality contestants, I didn't oooh and ahhh to the extent my drinking companion did.

· Oops, forgot to send this one in. Wed, 8/16, back from work trip, had leisurely early dinner on Casita del Campo patio and sat next to table of gorgeous guy and gal and kids and other actor types. Turns out it was a very delish looking (why am i speaking like Casablanca?) Casey Affleck and the blonde chick from Deadwood (Paula Malcomson). She was very sweet, Casey was stunning looking and the kids were precious. That is all.

· Saw Traci Lords in the audience at Taking the Jesus Pill at the King King in Hollywood last Wednesday (8/23). She and her two friends looked like they were really enjoying themselves. She's really pretty and sorta wholesome looking in person. Not what I was expecting.

· I saw Amy Smart (of Road Trip fame!?!?) in Forever 21 at Beverly Center. She got all excited because a brown dress was really cheap. She didnt look too good. That girl should not leave the house without makeup.

· Saturday before the Emmys, I was loitering near the cheese samples at Bristol Farms, where I saw Gregory Smith, AKA Everwood's dreamy piano playing Ephram Brown, over by the sushi counter. He is way cuter in person than he is on television. Now I'm really sad that the CW axed them instead of 7th Heaven.

· On Sat night (8/26) I saw a dolled up comedy legend Phyllis Diller at the Hollywood Bowl, on hand to watch, appropriately enough, the comedy night with the Smothers Brothers. She looked surprisingly good!

· 8/18 - Urth Caffe in BH. I was about to ask the couple mulling the menu in front of me if they were in fact in line when they turned to leave, at which point I simultaneously noticed the haggard yet hip woman was The Facts of Life's Mindy Cohn and that she was saying to her hot male companion, "For reals?" They later returned to browse at the coffee selection before eventually getting cups to go. Does that count? Mindy Cohn spending a Fright evening perplexed by the Urth Caffe's offerings and saying, "For reals?"

· Saturday night, Formosa Cafe. Spotted "Dawson's Creek Alum" Busy Phillips (aka Joey's slutty college roommate) standing near the bar with some friends, clogging the main walkway through the place. She's much bigger than I thought she'd be—I don't mean fat, I just mean like a Junior Amazon. She had on a trendy-ish outfit and was very, very blonde.