Gawker: defamer, dukes of hazzard

Cancellation Of 'Dukes Of Hazzard' Concert Fuels Rumors Cincinnati's Pops Feeding Out Of Boss Hogg's Hand

Seth — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 17:15:40 EDT

A Dukes of Hazzard-themed evening at the Cincinnati Pops featuring the vocal talents of Duke brothers John Schneider and Tom Wopat has been cancelled after the local NAACP branch complained about the show's "racist overtones"—namely, the Confederate flag painted on the roof of the General Lee. Coming to their defense is trusted mechanic and ally Cooter Davenport—i.e. intermittently employed actor and one-term Georgia Democratic Congressman Ben Jones—who rails on vanity website Cooter's Place against the censorious powers denying Cincinnatians the experience of Luke Duke being backed by full brass, strings and percussion sections on a rousing, clap-along rendition of "Up On Cripple Creek":

"I wish I was making this up," said [Ben "Cooter"] Jones. "But, unfortunately it is true. It is bizarre. One reason our show is loved by folks of all colors all over the world is that racism is non-existent in Hazzard County. It is an innocent show where the good guys always win and nobody gets hurt, and brotherhood is a natural thing there. What could these politically correct vigilantes possibly be thinking?

Yet again, the brothers find themselves fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood, only instead of battling Boss Hogg's nefarious plans to turn their family farm into a coal mine, they now find themselves pit against far more threatening P.C. forces, who find the prominent placement of a Dixie-honking, Confederate-flag-adorned vehicle nearly as offensive as the show's popularizing of Davey Dukes, the sexy denim short-shorts favored by white supremacists everywhere.

SINGERS CANNED BY ORCHESTRA BECAUSE OF CLASSIC T.V. SHOW [Cooter's Place]

Kristin Cavallari Sloppy Second Choice For 'Hazzard' Sequel

Seth — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 16:15:33 EDT

There's something refreshing about a celebrity who can quickly recognize, accept, then proudly claim their rigidly fated, D-list status. Take for example Kristin Cavallari, who has parlayed a stint on MTV's Laguna Beach, playing nothing more than a loosely scripted version of her spoiled, horny self, into a full-time career packed with all kinds of exciting opportunities to pick up Jessica Simpson's sloppy seconds:

JESSICA Simpson can breathe easier. Producers of the prequel to "The Dukes of Hazzard" decided against having Simpson back as a younger version of Daisy Duke. Instead, they were considering younger, equally blond Kristin Cavallari of "Laguna Beach." But Simpson dislikes Cavallari because she hooked up with Simpson's ex, Nick Lachey, several months ago. Critical comparisons would have been painful. But now Maxim model and "Deal or No Deal" showgirl April Scott has been cast in the role. Sadly for Scott, it's a straight-to-DVD release.

While Page Six claims Simpson can now "breathe easier," we wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't a tad disappointed by the news, seeing as she will now be forever deprived of the pleasure of freeze-framing her personal copy of Hazzard 2 on the most unflattering, cellulite-friendly shots of Daisy Jr. in her short shorts, whilst gleefully bandying about the phrase "inferior sequel in every way."

HEARS FOOTSTEPS [NY Post]

Tom Wopat Just A Little Bit Drunker Than The Law Will Allow

Seth — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:04:59 EST

Tom Wopat, much like his Dukes of Hazzard alter ego Luke Duke, has found himself on the wrong side of the law. In an incident worthy of any Hazzard episode, Wopat nearly rammed his car into a police vehicle, a scenario rendered less hilarious when the officer on duty wasn't a bumbling moron with a Bassett Hound for a sidekick but rather a New Jersey patrolman with a breathalyzer:

Tom Wopat, who played Luke Duke on the TV series The Dukes of Hazzard, faces a drunken driving charge in northern New Jersey, authorities said Friday.
Wopat was arrested in Ringwood and charged with driving while intoxicated and reckless driving, said Bill Maer, a spokesman for the Passaic County sheriff's department.

He was pulled from a Ford Bronco Wednesday night after hitting orange traffic cones and nearly striking a Ringwood police car sent to an accident, Maer said.

We can only imagine how humiliating the ride in the back of that sheriff's car must have been for the actor, made all the worse when the officer behind the wheel tried out his dead-on Hazzard narrator impression, noting, "Looks like ol' Luke got himself deeper in trouble than a hog neck-high in slop!"

'Dukes of Hazzard' actor charged with drunken driving [USAToday.com/AP]

The Projectionist: Jessica Simpson's Ass Carries The Weekend

Mark — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 16:31:43 EDT

With our Daisy Dukes fully wedgied into our hindquarters, we're ready to unleash this weekend's box office predictions:

1. The Dukes of Hazzard—$28 million
Things are looking good for the Duke boys. They have no real competition this weekend, Cooter's got his greasy overalls in a bunch over the new version's blue-state immorality, and in a brilliant promotion in NY, Warner Bros. is allowing construction workers to have sex with a wax statue of Jessica Simpson. A number one opening is all but guaranteed.

2. Wedding Crashers—$16 million
Crashers will continue its rampage through multiplexes, at least until an R-rated newcomer like 40 Year Old Virgin offers a challenge. Seriously, though, where are the "Let's Play 'Just The Tip In'" t-shirts?

3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory—$12 million
Come on, Cooter, we're all waiting for you to condemn Warner Bros. for its sinful promotion of fudgepacking.

4. Sky High—$8 million
We're sure there's more to this movie than Kelly "John Travolta's Special Stewardess" Preston's involvement, but we can't make ourselves care.

5. Must Love Dogs—$7 million
But maybe, just maybe, if we all cross our fingers and squeeze our eyes shut really tight and wish like we've never wished before, March of the Penguins will squeeze out the ridiculous dog movie. Go penguins!

Johnny Knoxville Offends The Canadians

Mark — Tue, 02 Aug 2005 16:16:05 EDT

During a press event in Toronto to promote the upcoming release of The Dukes of Hazzard, star Johnny Knoxville proved himself to be a little delicate when it comes to questions about politics:

"It's always funny when a writer or someone tries (to make something political). They did the same thing with Jackass. They tried to deconstruct Jackass. You fellas can write what you write, but we just went out there to have a ball."

Earlier, Knoxville was asked whether he'd used U.S. President George W. Bush as his model for Luke Duke, the slightly smarter cousin to moonshine partner Bo Duke, who is played by Scott. Knoxville refused to answer the question, saying only, "I'd like to shove it up my ass, the whole question."

Touchy, touchy. What would've happened if someone asked him about the rumors that he spent the entire shoot sleeping with Jessica Simpson? It might've been much more fun to hear him threaten to shove Daisy Duke up his ass.

Running with the 'Dukes' [Toronto Star]
Previously: Johnny Knoxville Lays The Groundwork For His Career Contingency Plan [Defamer]