He’ll certainly be in good company, now that Dreamgirls director Bill Condon has been tapped to executive produce the upcoming Oscar telecast. This is the same dude who wrote the screenplay for Chicago, so he definitely knows how to razzle-dazzle ‘em. But he also directed Kinsey and Gods and Monsters, so which Bill Condon will show up? Will it be his glitzy, gaudy musical side or his frank-exploration-of-human-sexuality side? Either way, it should make for an interesting evening, and as long as five reality hosts aren’t involved, we’ll be watching.

[Photo Credits: Getty Images]

• Ricky Gervais Gets 2009 Oscar Buzz [EW]
• 'Dreamgirls' Duo Producing Oscars Telecast [Hollywood Reporter]

But the knives are out anyway, with at least one impassioned plea calling for Murphy's retirement and another damning rundown of 50 not-impressive films that had higher-grossing opening weekends than Meet Dave (which even our lowball estimate last Friday waaaay overshot). But the scope of the crash-and-burn — not to mention the relative quietude of the backlash — suggests a less-controversial denouement: Nobody cares about Eddie Murphy.

Which isn't to say Murphy is irrelevant. They're different phenomena. He's less than two years removed from his Oscar-nominated performance in Dreamgirls — a performance for which he was a 50-50 shot right up to the point when Rachel Weisz opened the envelope. And you don't need us to revive the rap that some argue kept him off the stage: A surly, studio-hating, tranny-whore-patronizing, Norbit-starring, paycheck-cashing boor. But one who, as junkie bandleader James "Thunder" Early, restored older viewers' faith in Murphy as a dynamic screen actor.

The fat suits and multiple personalities he'd adopted since Coming to America (bludgeoning the form to death in the Nutty Professor films and eventually Norbit) called greater attention to the range of his early comic work. As a throwback to Murphy's predatory live act — on TV, in concert and in movies — it was that much easier to see what culture had lost. It was even easier to see what replaced it: A crowd-pleaser for hire in an era when crowd-pleasers no longer transcend media. There can only be so many, and they can only last so long.

Considering Murphy's big-screen longevity — 26 years this December — his downturn signals anything but irrelevance. More than any recent bust by Myers or Jim Carrey, Meet Dave's disastrous showing owes less to Murphy's presence than to Fox's miscalculation of what that presence means. This is important. The half of the so-called marketing quadrants that made Norbit a hit — men and women under 25 — weren't there to see Eddie Murphy. They were there for the Trick — the concept, the execution, the ease of it all, however crude, stupid and condescending. Basically, they were there for the movie part of it. They weren't yet born when Murphy was Murphy; they didn't know any mighty had fallen, nor from how far up.

Fox counted on that perspective, however, in foisting "Eddie Murphy in Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave" — even if Murphy was too far gone for our liking, he had proven reliable enough for a few of the studio's recent family romps. Right? Doctor Doolittle? Right? Maybe our kids would dig it, while we barely tolerated it for their sake, and, by summer dog-days extension, for our own.

Except "our" kids don't care. They've got better things to do. And we don't care that they don't care. And we don't care that the millions of others who don't care (their numbers reflect indirectly in Meet Dave's box-office trough) don't care either. All we feel is sort of a relief at no longer having to pretend to care — no more calling for Murphy's head or lamenting his choices. That it should happen to such a household name reinforces only its novelty, not its unlikelihood; actors are forgotten and disused all the time. Eddie Murphy's indelibility is his only entitlement; he's achieved that much, Oscar losses and all.

His value, though? His very place? Gone. And this is us, shrugging.

The Virtue Foundation and Avon Products commemorated International Women's Day by bringing newly-minted Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson to the U.N. headquarters. Hudson spoke for about five minutes at the event, called The Global Summit for a Better Tomorrow, and perhaps she was nervous, because she read directly from her notes, with an almost childlike quality.

While her nerves might have gotten the better of her, certainly the situation wasn't helped when Jordanian delegate H.R.H. Prince Zeid Ra'ad Al-Hussein interrupted Hudson's thoughts on the life-and-death struggles women still face in many regions of the globe by shouting, "C'mon Effie! Let's hear a few bars of 'I Am Changing!' Sing it, girlfriend!" which was quickly met by the raucous approval of the rest of the Dreamgirls-obsessed General Assembly.

• Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones & Jennifer Hudson Visit U.N. [OAN]

Now that the Oscar ballot deadline has passed, the DreamWorks publicity team can safely shift its focus from designing Dreamgirls ads aimed at reminding Academy voters of frequently latex-hampered thespian Eddie Murphy's mastery of the awards-baiting man-cry to ones like this full-pager that appeared in today's Variety, publicly apologizing for the confusing dramatic license the film may have taken with the Motown story. There's some background on the reasons for the mea culpa here, including a quote from Berry Gordy's public statement applauding the studio for reminding everyone about the difference between movie semi-magic and reality, demonstrating no bitterness that Jamie Foxx's performance as the character based on him wasn't good enough to get an Oscar nomination.

[Ad: Digital Variety]

• 'Dreamgirls' producers apologize to Motown's Gordy [Detroit News]

The peace of a Torrington, Connecticut multiplex was shattered Monday night, when an audience in the process of being vaguely disappointed by a 7:00 p.m. showing of Dreamgirls was suddenly jarred out of its immersively underwhelming cinematic experience by the unexpected intrusion of an out-of-control SUV barreling through the wall of the theater. The establishment's owner was predictably shocked by the unplanned intermission:

"I never thought it'd be here in the theater, especially while the show's running and a couple people are in here watching Dreamgirls. It was just surreal shock," said theater owner Robert Sadlon.

Police charged the driver, 46-year-old Diletta Squires, with driving under the influence.

The disconcerting surreality of the scene was only deepened for the stunned theater owner when the vehicle's visibly inebriated and despondent driver entered the theater through the gaping hole she'd just created, loudly identified herself as a DreamWorks publicist "just trying to get the word out about the acting performances in our little movie," then slurred "Little Miss Sunshine for Besht Picture? Rrrrreally?" before collapsing in his arms. The police officer on the scene later broke the bad news that there were no Academy voters in attendance at the screening.

• SUV Plows Into Theater As Moviegoers Watch "Dreamgirls" [WFTV.com]

Presumably a little frightened by yesterday's LAT story wondering whether the inopportunely timed release of Norbit might make Oscar voters a little skittish about handing over their coveted acting prize to a man who's currently celebrating his craft from underneath a hundred pounds of cellulite-scarred latex, the DreamWorks publicity teams rushed this For Your Consideration ad in the trades today, one which immediately reminds the soul-searching Academy member that beneath those layers of stunt-blubber is a nuanced performer capable of an awards-worthy man-cry.

[Image: Variety.com/additional pullquote: Defamer.com]

• Can Oscar Voters Ignore Eddie Murphy's Troublesome Latex Fetish? [Defamer]

Eddie Murphy, according to today's LAT and various people not completely charmed by the actor's recent emergence from seclusion to humbly accept a handful of trinkets from various press organizations and professional guilds, might have a problem. While he's the frontrunner™ for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his eye-opening, "Hey, he can act!" turn in Dreamgirls, his peers in the Academy might pause as the quivering tips of their fountain pens approach his name on their ballots, have their minds flooded with unpleasant thoughts about the advisability of bestowing the single greatest honor in the history of human endeavor upon a man whose current project demands a Martin Lawrence-level of craft, and, after recovering from a prolonged vomiting fit brought on by thoughts of being asphyxiated by the disturbingly realistic, dimple-riddled ladyfolds of Murphy's Norbit costume, cast their votes for Djimon Hounsou.

Of course, Serious Members of the Academy protest that The Work is judged entirely upon its Own Merits, so even should Murphy suddenly announce that his next project will be called Eddie Murphy Presents: Let's All Laugh at the Fat Black Ladies, their evaluation of his Dreamgirls performance will be unaffected. So expect Murphy to take the podium on Oscar night as planned, with nary a recognition of the non-controversy during his inevitably awkward acceptance speech, not even a nod to the professionalism of his peers for "ignoring the one where the morbidly obese me smother-fucks the skinny, nerdy me. That was big of y'all."

• Is this what a future Oscar winner looks like? [LAT]

Just in case you haven't yet had your fill of stories about the backbiting between Paramount emperor Brad Grey and the sneaky studio usurpers crouching not-so-quietly inside the DreamWorks Trojan Horse he bought a year ago, the LA Weekly's Nikki Finke reports that skeletal Viacom executive presence Sumner Redstone may have signed Grey's death certificate by letting slip at a cozy power-player dinner party a rather impolitic comment about why Dreamgirls found itself without a Best Picture nomination. Clasping your hand to your mouth while trying to suppress an outraged "Oh. No. He. Did. Int!" is completely optional as you read on:

Sumner told the gathering that Brad told him that the reason Dreamgirls wasn't nominated for an Oscar was because "everyone hates David." As in Geffen, the producer of Dreamgirls. "Does Brad have a death wish?" an insider asked rhetorically this morning. Indeed, few have taken on David Geffen and lived to tell the tale. (Just ask Robert Towne, John Branca and Mike Ovitz.) That the Viacom boss would be so indiscreet in such a public setting defies belief. To be fair, Grey made his comment in a private setting.

While the indiscretion of letting such a comment slip does seem careless on the surface, the immortal Redstone didn't scratch his way to the top of the industry over a four-hundred year career by not being a shrewdly calculating operator; a more plausible explanation is that Redstone has had a change of heart since impulsively giving Grey a lifetime appointment to his Paramount job, and rather than go back on his word, took the more passive approach of airing his underling's potentially fatal anti-Geffen grievances, hoping to wake up to a grisly front page story in Variety about how his studio chief mysteriously choked to death on a Dreamgirls Academy screener the night before the Oscars.

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Their Dinner About Brad... (Corrected) [DHD]

· Quite frankly, we're surprised that the YouTubes haven't been completely jammed up with videos of people lip-syncing to Dreamgirls songs.
· Please contact Kevin Costner immediately and direct him to If I Blog It, They Will Come.
· Today in Who Is And Who Isn't A Celebrity Scientologist: Posh Spice: Isn't. J.Lo: Isn't, but her father is. Tom Cruise: Still is.
· Why Hitchcock wouldn't talk to the kid who made the fish movie.
· And, just because: Priapic iguana has his penis cut off. But good news: He has two of them! [via BoingBoing]

• 'Dreamgirls' Banked on Best Picture, and Lost [NY Times]

· Pictured: At this morning's Oscar nominations announcement, Salma Hayek is thrilled to learn that Academy president Sid Ganis was just kidding when he told her that part of her duty as co-presenter was to give him a topless hot-oil massage at the conclusion of the press conference.
· While everyone's in an uproar over the Dakota Fanning rape movie at Sundance, no one's said anything about the one where Fanning rapes Rainn Wilson, a truly disturbing double-standard.
· Anna Nicole Smith is exactly as literate as you'd suspected.
· Jamie Foxx is exactly as classy as you'd suspected.
· It might be time for DreamWorks to cut down on that Dreamgirls For Your Consideration budget.
· Quickly, before he takes the podium: Here's your State of the Union drinking game.

[Photo: Getty Images]

· What—no snub love for Alec Baldwin? (We were thinking The Departed, but we're sure he was snub-worthy for his work in Running with Scissors, too.) [Little Gold Men]
· Stephen Frears had a religious moment upon hearing of his nomination: "I think it proves the existence of God. A favorable wind got behind this film and has just blown it along. It has been extraordinary." God, who's been booked up for most of the day on back-to-back conference calls with Miramax marketing, could not be reached for comment. [The Carpetbagger]

This morning, the formerly frontrunning Dreamgirls crew is caught somewhere between elation and the sweet release of barbiturate overdose, as their film led the nominations with eight, but was shut out in the Best Picture, Best Director, and lead actor categories; somewhere on their Melrose lot, Paramount and DreamWorks publicists are staring at a ringing phone, wondering whether to pick it up and emphasize the positives of their eight nods and that their boss, studio emperor Brad Grey, is happy that he's been released from the uncomfortable position of having equally beloved films facing off in the big races, or to let the calls roll into voicemail as they somberly march outside and drown themselves in the nearby fountain in the ultimate act of failed For Your Consideration self-nullification.

In other notable developments: your nominees for The Big One are The Departed, Babel, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen, and Letters from Iwo Jima; Babel received seven nominations; Martin Scorsese gets another shot at the cruelly elusive Best Director prize; our beloved, criminally overlooked Children of Men got three bids; Leonardo DiCaprio avoided another doomed Golden Globes-style showdown with himself by landing just one Best Actor nod; Borat snuck in to the Best Adapted Screenplay race; Ryan Gosling's crackhead teacher and Jackie Earle Haley's child-molester performance were recognized in the lead and supporting categories, respectively; and the producers of Best Picture nominees The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine are sweating as the Academy sorts out who will get the chance the have their acceptance speech interrupted by the orchestra as the ceremony creeps toward the four-hour mark.

A partial list of nominees (i.e., the categories you care about) is after the jump:

Best motion picture of the year
"Babel" (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
"The Departed" (Warner Bros.)
"Letters from Iwo Jima" (Warner Bros.)
"Little Miss Sunshine" (Fox Searchlight)
"The Queen" (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)

Achievement in directing
"Babel" (Paramount and Paramount Vantage) Alejandro González Iñárritu
"The Departed" (Warner Bros.) Martin Scorsese
"Letters from Iwo Jima" (Warner Bros.) Clint Eastwood
"The Queen" (Miramax, Pathé and Granada) Stephen Frears
"United 93" (Universal and StudioCanal) Paul Greengrass

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Leonardo DiCaprio in "Blood Diamond" (Warner Bros.)
Ryan Gosling in "Half Nelson" (THINKFilm)
Peter O'Toole in "Venus" (Miramax, Filmfour and UK Council)
Will Smith in "The Pursuit of Happyness" (Sony Pictures Releasing)
Forest Whitaker in "The Last King of Scotland" (Fox Searchlight)

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Penélope Cruz in "Volver" (Sony Pictures Classics)
Judi Dench in "Notes on a Scandal" (Fox Searchlight)
Helen Mirren in "The Queen" (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)
Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada" (20th Century Fox)
Kate Winslet in "Little Children" (New Line)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Alan Arkin in "Little Miss Sunshine" (Fox Searchlight)
Jackie Earle Haley in "Little Children" (New Line)
Djimon Hounsou in "Blood Diamond" (Warner Bros.)
Eddie Murphy in "Dreamgirls" (DreamWorks and Paramount)
Mark Wahlberg in "The Departed" (Warner Bros.)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Adriana Barraza in "Babel" (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
Cate Blanchett in "Notes on a Scandal" (Fox Searchlight)
Abigail Breslin in "Little Miss Sunshine" (Fox Searchlight)
Jennifer Hudson in "Dreamgirls" (DreamWorks and Paramount)
Rinko Kikuchi in "Babel" (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)

Adapted screenplay
"Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" (20th Century Fox)
Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen & Anthony Hines & Peter Baynham & Dan Mazer
Story by Sacha Baron Cohen & Peter Baynham & Anthony Hines & Todd Phillips

"Children of Men" (Universal)
Screenplay by Alfonso Cuarón & Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby

"The Departed" (Warner Bros.)
Screenplay by William Monahan

"Little Children" (New Line)
Screenplay by Todd Field & Tom Perrotta

"Notes on a Scandal" (Fox Searchlight)
Screenplay by Patrick Marber

Original screenplay
"Babel" (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
Written by Guillermo Arriaga

"Letters from Iwo Jima" (Warner Bros.)
Screenplay by Iris Yamashita
Story by Iris Yamashita & Paul Haggis

"Little Miss Sunshine" (Fox Searchlight)
Written by Michael Arndt

"Pan's Labyrinth" (Picturehouse)
Written by Guillermo del Toro

"The Queen" (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)
Written by Peter Morgan

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Nominations List [Oscars.org]
• Oscar nominations unveiled [The Envelope]
• Academy Award nominations [Variety]
• 'Dreamgirls' leads Oscar noms, misses best picture [THR]
• 'Dreamgirls' Picks Up Most Oscar Nods [AP]

Obviously looking to stir up some trouble, an anonymous tipster dropped us this note about the conspicuous table-hopping activities of Paramount emperor Brad Grey, whose various fiefdoms came away with awards for Dreamgirls and Babel:

Word on the street is that ever confident (vertically challenged?) Paramount Czar Brad Grey forced himself upon not one, but two tables at the Globes ceremony last night. Apparently he wanted to be seen at both the Dreamgirls Table AND the Babel Table... Without mentioning names, it seems that he caused a major pain in the ass for several people and displaced the guests of other key figures (talent specifically).

While constant table-flitting is an accepted staple of Globes schmoozing, we imagine it would be annoying to return after a quick trip to the bar and discover Grey plopped in your seat, and have to stand impatiently nearby until he's finished telling your tablemates that he doesn't care how big a favorite "that overrated musical" might be, he's pulling for Babel to eventually win the Oscar because he "loves a good underdog. Unless my Departed eligibility comes through, in which case I'm pulling for that one so that I don't have to feel dirty about playing favorites at the day job."

• Complete Golden Globes Coverage [Defamer]

Those studio folks with skin in the game were spending the day freaking out a bit, wondering what the rare three-day shutdown of the postal system would mean.

Even on weeks when the national holiday falls on Monday, the postal service is only out of action for two days. The fact that the president died when he did meant that a third day was tacked on. Studios who sent out screeners last Wednesday or Thursday - "Dreamgirls" was scheduled to land all over the Academy - in the hopes that it would be in the hands of voters the day after the new year began were instead confronted by three days of postal purgatory. [...]

And the screeners? One Oscar marketer said it was the talk of the office: "Every day counts right now and you want to have it in their hands as soon as you can. But most of the people around here were just hoping that they didn't have to work when they heard the news. No such luck."

Hopefully, those delayed Dreamgirls screeners will find their way into voters' mailboxes today, sparing Paramount's publicists another torturous day of concoting paranoid fantasies that rival Universal was somehow behind Ford's death, knowing that they could use the ensuing postal holiday to hand-deliver copies of United 93 to Academy members and gain a crucial edge in the cutthroat awards race.

• The Day the Earth Stood Still [The Carpetbagger]

4. Dreamgirls Is This Year's Brokeback Mountain.

We got a call from a friend on Monday, who gave us this report from a Dreamgirls screening in New York: "The entire audience was gay men and straight women." Indeed, Dreamgirls (our favorite movie of the year — our being mine, I'll give the guys a break on this one) is the gayest romp since Heath and Jake zipped their sleeping bags into a single love cocoon. Those outfits! That hair! That weird gay disco dancing scene with the huge red light sabers! An overweight black diva! We only hope this movie is wearing protection as it thrusts its power ballads up into your musical loving ass.

We're going to savor that last sentence for a while, trying our best to ignore its deeply offensive implications that a movie musical based loosely on the life of Diana Ross could be so gay, it could actually cause audiences to seroconvert.

• The 10 Best 10 Best Lists of 2006, #3: The 10 Gayest Moments of 2006 [BestWeekEver.tv]