Viacom wanted to carve out the records of YouTube employees' video views to show that they knowingly viewed copyrighted content — and in some cases, uploaded it. But Google could easily use its records to show Viacom employees doing exactly the same thing. It would hardly be a shocker: Viacom's Ifilm site is rife with pirated videos, but the site's traffic is too insignificant for copyright holders to get fussed.

Showing Viacom's double standards is an obvious move. What Google's lawyers are probably too naive to contemplate: Scouring YouTube's video logs for truly embarrassing videos viewed by Viacom employees, and leaking them to gossip blogs. That would be a dreadful invasion of privacy, of course — exactly what Viacom was asking for, before it finally backed down.

"If a woman who's a successful actress weighs 300 pounds and has warts, nobody ever asks her, 'Do you think you made it because you're ugly?' So why should there be prejudice against someone who's had some success in films and looks a little better than average.

It's all in my genes, so don't hold it against me."

We'll assume Wolf didn't have the heart to explain to Diaz that the reason nobody ever asks the obese, polyp-ridden actress whether or not she attributes her wildly successful show business career to her looks is because she probably doesn't have one, and if she does, it's primarily in voice-over. Still, Diaz's point is well-taken: Attributing her A-list status solely to her genetic good fortune diminishes the scope of her impressive accomplishments, as it takes much more than a pretty face to make it in this town. It takes a pretty face, lots of hollow enthusiasm and fake laughing, and the recently gleaned insights of someone who's spent a few too many post-breakup hours staring down their naked reflection in a floor-length mirror, wondering aloud, "And exactly what part of this hotness could you just up and walk away from, Mr. SexyJerk?!"

• Ah, If Only Cameron Diaz Had Warts ... [movies.go.com]