• Donald Trump is now getting into bed with his worthiest apprentice/prodigal daughter Omarosa. The pair are becoming partners to produce Omarosa's Ultimate Merger a new show which will attempt to find a husband for the reality star. The show's active subtext will address the question: what is crazier, to get married on a TV show for the attention or to actually want to spend the rest of your days on Earth with Omarosa?
[Variety]

• What with Robert De Niro's film career looking more and more like some rickety nostalgia act, Tribeca sees no doubt safer waters on the small screen. Tribeca has just signed a two year deal with CBS television to develop new shows. [Variety]

• Someone has stolen a percent of ABC! Since the digital conversion, the network's clearance rate — the percentage of American households with access to ABC's affiliates — has mysteriously fallen one percent, and no one can figure out why. The single percentage point could be worth $15 — 20 million a year, but more importantly, the new digital statistics now put ABC below the despised Fox network in national access. [Variety]

• The network meanwhile has pulled the plug on witch-drama Eastwick while ordering more episodes of Jerry Bruckheimer's new procedural The Forgotten. [The Wrap]

• While Oscar's best picture race may be getting all the attention, the Hollywood Reporter writes that the animation category is shaping up as the hottest race on the book, with the field potentially increasing to five films instead of the past three. Pixar's Up faces a conundrum as it looks at potential nominations in both the animated and best picture categories, leading to the possibility that its supporters will be divided in which award they vote to give the film, a split vote which could lead the balloon film empty handed. The category also looks to become a referendum on the state of film technology today with its ranks including everything from motion capture (Christmas Carol) to hand drawn 2D (Ponyo) to claymation (Mary and Max). [Hollywood Reporter]

• Meanwhile in the main category, The Wrap's Steve Pond writes that despite the new ten film wide category, the best picture race appears to have already boiled down to a very stable, very small group of contenders, with the Oscar world basically having decided that the Best Picture of 2009 will be either Precious, Up in the Air or The Hurt Locker. [The Wrap]

• Recession or no, the buyers have been out at the American Film Market. Hoping to snag the next District 9, international agents have picked up the rights to new films starring Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis and Jodie Foster. [The Wrap]

• Disney wont have Mark Zoradi to kick around any more. After being passed over for the top job last month, the President of Disney pics, a 29-year veteran of the company, has announced he is stepping down. [Hollywood Reporter]

Information obtained by the Guanabee blog, in an exclusive interview with Michael Schwandt, choreographer of the last four pageants, tells that far from a purely scientific study of the looks, talents and poise of each contestant, one man's preferences may be guiding the outcome of the race.

According to Schwandt, the dark hand of Miss Universe owner Donald Trump is in fact at work,behind the curtains, secretly culling the field of pageant thoroughbreds. Apparently, the winnowing of the contest down to its 15 finalists happens not just in the meticulous parading and exhibiting skills viewers across the galaxies watch on TV, but in an Extra Special Private Judging Round in which contestants display themselves for Trump alone.

Explaining about Trump's hands-on presence during the rehearsal Schwandt says in the Guanabee interview:

Then he does do something that's a bit odd. At all the shows, he pops in the day before the telecast and we line up all the girls in alphabetical order behind microphones. And they say their name, age and country. Then we line them up in alphabetical order in one single file line across the stage. And he basically walks by and has an assistant that takes notes on all the girls. And it's just kind of common knowledge that he picks six of the top fifteen single-handedly. So, the other nine of the top fifteen are judged in a preliminary show the week before and picked by those judges, but he picks six of the top fifteen.

The Miss Universe rules however, fail to note the Extra Special Private Judging Round and its impact on the race. They state, in the website's FAQ section:

HOW ARE THE SEMI-FINALISTS CHOSEN?
In 1997, a dual-paneled judging system was introduced. One panel judges the preliminary rounds; the other panel judges the live telecast. All contestants are judged in three areas of preliminary competition which are not always televised due to time constraints:
1. Interviews - Judges spend time with each delegate to learn about her successes, goals and ambitions.
2. Swimsuit Competition - Each delegate wears one of a variety of swimsuit styles provided by a sponsor.
3. Evening Gown Competition - Each delegate wears a gown she has chosen for herself.
All scores are tallied in each of the three categories. The contestants with the highest aggregate scores are named the semi-finalists. The competition is narrowed twice more to produce the winner.

HOW ARE THE TITLEHOLDERS AND RUNNERS-UP SELECTED?
Once the finalists are named, their scores are discarded, and they begin competing anew. In the final competition, the same three areas (Interview, Swimsuit and Evening Gown) are judged. The judges' scores in these categories are tallied and the winners are named live on the air.

Further, according to the Guanabee interview, Trump instituted the Extra Special Private Round after he had raised concerns that the official judges had failed to adequately reward prettiness. The interview reads:

Q: So, he's orchestrating at least a portion of the results?
A: Right. And, his reason for doing so, as he told me and he's told the girls before, is that he left it all up to preliminary judging in the past and some of the most beautiful women, in his opinion, were not in the top fifteen and he was kind of upset about that. And he decided that he would pick a certain number and let the judges pick a certain number.

Read the stunning interview in its entirety at Guanabee.

If there were one man fit to decide which of the Universe's beauties is fit to reign over us all, that man would no doubt be Donald Trump. However, without laws and regulations to govern even the most powerful of us, the Universe would be in chaos. Donald Trump, give this competition back to your people!

When Prejean's name came up in the Late Show interview, Trump offered his admirable but weak defense of her for being a dolt, prompting Letterman to jump in with an "anybody who wants to get married ought to be able to get married" comment. The studio audience then went nuts while Trump sat silent, all alone in the world for a few seconds with only a banana-yellow tie and a big, garish head as his friends.

Near the end of the segment, Trump spit out a bunch of names of judges he has lined up for the pageant, and he mentioned Andre Leon Talley as being one of them. Neither Dave not the audience seemed to know who the hell Andre Leon Talley was, which was oddly refreshing.

From as best as we can make out, Rodman loses it in the middle of a challenge (perhaps mounting a charity auction for Baron von Trump's wealthy nursery classmates?), towering over team-leader Black and bellowing, "Fuck this bullshit! You think you did fucking right, bro? Aw, fuck you, man. Fuck you!" as a small puddle gathers circumference beneath the country singer's feet. Rodman then stomps out of the room, a gesture of defiance sure to displease the toddler Trump at that evening's board room, who'll toss an apple juice drinkin' box at the recalcitrant contestant's head in disgust. [YouTube]

Trump's skill at public relations is vital to his business interests. It has allowed him to sell books and TV shows over the course of three decades despite at least four business bankruptcies and a series of forced asset sales, among other problems. You can watch it at work on Letterman's show in the clip above.

Notice how Trump:

• Calmly let Letterman finish his long question: Doesn't want to appear defensive, even though he's come prepared to defend himself.
• Distanced himself from the problem: "I wasn't involved at all in management." Trump neglects to mention he was chairman of the company's board of directors until less than a week ago, when he resigned because it was clear the company would soon file for bankruptcy under pressure from bondholders. He also omits that the only relinquished the position of CEO as part of the company's last bankruptcy restructuring, in 2004.
• Minimized the problem: "It represents almost nothing of my net worth." Well, that would be because bankrupt companies are worthless, making Trump's statement practically a tautology. Even before the filing, the company's shares had fallen to about 1/20th their value one year ago, according to the Journal. Trump held 28 percent of the company stock, according to a recent filing, the paper said.
• Minimized culpability: Many casinos are doing poorly, Trump said. Therefore we shouldn't judge Trump Entertainment Resorts too harshly, right? Funny, when Trump railed against banks later in the show, he wasn't so sympathetic to the players in that industry, because collective idiocy is hardly more forgivable than the individual kind.
• Compared himself to someone worse: The grand finale: Trump notes that at least he didn't ask for a government bailout like those big American car companies. This actually makes him a lesser businessman, but he gets applause because it also makes him, for a brief instant, to the audience or the guy who controls the "CLAP" sign, a swell human being. Ha.

Supersizing “Celebrity Apprentice” gives NBC a way to cut programming costs, since adding an extra hour of an already-produced reality show is much less expensive than airing an original scripted or unscripted hour. With “Biggest Loser: Couples” already slated to fill two hours on Tuesdays, and “Howie Do It” set for an hour on Fridays, NBC’s winter schedule will likely feature at least five hours of unscripted programming each week.

Setting aside for a moment whatever the fuck Howie Do It might be—and all the Canadian-cranium-polishing and germaphobic-fist-bumping that truly dreadful title implies—things have now gotten so desperate at NBC that they are stretching out Celebrity Apprentice to two hours per week. That's twice the combforward, twice the Z-list celebrities competing for charities they secretly wish were their own bank accounts, and twice the uncomfortable rendezvous at Trump's gold-encrusted penthouse vomitorium to catch up with his Transylvanian mail-order bride and their future little beednees tycoon.

That said, let's take a look at the rumored cast!

Andrew Dice Clay
Tom Green
Clint Black
Annie Duke - poker player
Claudia Jordan - Deal or No Deal briefcase model
Brian McKnight - R&B singer
Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins - TLC
Herschel Walker - retired NFL player
Natalie Gulbis - LPGA golfer
Scott Hamilton - former Skater
Khloe Kardashian
Joan Rivers
Melissa Rivers
Brande Roderick - actress
Dennis Rodman

Let's see if we can break these down for you:

Roderick, Jordan: All-purpose waitress/actress/model/whatevers, i.e. boardroom candy for Trump to keep around 'til the last possible minute when one of them burns down the Toys R Us flagship store in an EZ Bake Oven challenge gone horribly wrong.

Gulbis, Rodman, Hamilton, Walker, Duke: Washed-up stars of sports and gambling. Rodman and Hamilton will go head-to-head in the Sephora outreach challenge, but the former NBAer will ultimately come out on top by offering the best eyeshadow application to on-the-go businesswomen passing by.

Black, McKnight, Watkins: Washed-up recording artists. (Maybe Black has a career, we honestly have no idea—but would he really be doing this if he did?) Look for McKnight to eke out a few more weeks than his competitors when he rearranges the lyrics from his one hit with all the counting in it to become the catchiest 1-800-Flowers jingle ever.

Kardashian: Is that the drunk driver? Or the mother who looks like Liza? Or the one who has to sit behind the register of their drug-laundering-front accessories-store because Kim is the hotter one. We get them so confused!

Clay, Green: Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum. One has one ball, the other, none. NEXT.

Well—we guess that leaves the Rivers girls.

Joan FTW.

• Celebrity Apprentice On Steroids [TVGasm]
• NBC’s Sunday Audible: Supersize ‘Apprentice’ [TV Week]

NBC is staying mum about the new season of 'The Apprentice,' but Hollyscoop.com has learned exclusively that 'Girls Gone Wild' creator Joe Francis has been added to the lineup.

"I’m doing celebrity apprentice," Francis told Hollyscoop backstage at the Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew.

Earlier this week Donald Trump told Ryan Seacrest that he's been getting calls from stars that want to revive their career. So far it's rumored that Khloe Kardashian, Joan and Melissa Rivers, and Dennis Rodman are going to join Donald's hit show.

Can Francis hope to out-lech last season's contestant Gene Simmons, or will a jailhouse conversion have made him the next Stephen Baldwin? One thing's for sure: we can't wait to see Francis flash those baby teeth at Joan Rivers and Kim Kardashian, convincing them to romp together on a leather couch in a sapphic matchup that's most assuredly of legal age.

• Joe Francis To Join Celebrity Apprentice [Hollyscoop]

• Donald Trump Has To Hire People To Be Impressed With Him [Videogum]

Good question, and one that's partially answered in a fascinating advertisement published this week in the Los Angeles MLS Open House Guide. There, broker Alex Davis made a last-minute, full-page appeal on McMahon's behalf, laying out the dire scenario along with some of the speed bumps he and McMahon had struck along the way: "Lowball offers" of $4.6 million, flaky speculators, and the last of the bank's deadline extensions. But finally the pitch comes down to selling McMahon himself: "[Y]ou will be the hero of a man who's been the hero of so many others if you could help bring this deal to fruition." Ah — so that's what Trump was after. Read the full ad after the jump.

• Donald Trump to buy Ed McMahon's house [LAT]

• MLS Open House Guide [MLS via LAT]

Consider the evidence: Dude was pretty charming in Threesome, and Bio-Dome isn't that bad either. Sure he's a born-again Christian and kind of a douche-y blowhard, but he's so amusing, that it more than makes up for it. Remember how freakin' awesome he was on Celebrity Apprentice? Every time he said, "Mr. Trump" and pretended he was smart, it sent shivers up my spine.

So really, it's up to you America. Do you want a president who might get us out of Iraq, fix heathcare, and inspire hope and change all over the world? Or, do you want to keep Stephen Baldwin in the USA where he belongs? I, for one, am voting McCain.

• One More Reason For Hollywood To Support Obama

boomp3.com


Chuck star Zachary Levi got an earful of advice from Donald Trump on how to improve his recently renewed show during its second season. Trump suggested that show's production design incorporate the use of more solid gold features like desks and buildings, random firings (quoth The Donald, "People love it when it's somebody other than them getting fired"), guest appearances by Gene Simmons and, most importantly, lots of sexy girls. Levi explained that there was a sexy girl on the show, but Trump interrupted and said that she's not NEARLY sexy enough and suggested that they replace her with his daughter, Ivanka.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

We have to say, Mimz has never looked better. That shiny hair, that flawless skin, the sparkly cleavage...it's all workin' for her here. Carlos, on the other hand, might be due for a trip to the barber shop. But our favorite moment by far comes when Martha, apparently busy directing a servant-type on how to properly display her bedding, hears the faint sounds of Santana's tunes and ever so slightly flashes a look of perturbed disgust. We already know Martha loves her some vodka, so who'd have thought she wouldn't appreciate some mellow music to wash it down? Finally, the commercial offers viewers the opportunity to see The Donald's Combover up close and too personal. Perhaps he should glide on over to the grooming section after the director yells, "Cut?"

• MACY'S [Official Site]

As we can tell from her delightful MySpace photos, 17-year old Chanell is hardly shy when it comes to "performing" for the cameras. And really, in light of today's most popular and proven fame success stories when it comes to hooker types trying to figure out a way to get their name in the papers, what's the problem with posting slutty pictures on the internet and figuring out a way to get in the pants of wealthy married men? Ashley/Kristen is a stah! And now Chanell will be too. The magic formula of flesh-revealing MySpace photos + plotting entries into powerful mens' bedrooms is, we suspect, a trend that's not going away anytime soon.

• TRUMP SPREADS FERTILIZER IN VODKA SCANDAL [TMZ]
• DONALD TRUMP MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE [IDLYITW]
• TRUMP NAKED MINOR - SOMEBODY IS GOING DOWN! [The Dirty]

Trump: Barron, say hello to the group.
Barron: Haawdow!
Trump: And Barron hopefully some day will be a great entrepreneur. Melania, what do you think?
Melania: [Unintelligible] Vot vant do ven you grau up?
Barron: Beeednees.
[Laughter]
Melania: Beeezneesman. Zats riiiight. Like you daddee?
Trump: That is pretty amazing actually.
Barron: Daddee!
Melania: Daddee's a beezneesman. And vot doz daddee beeldeeng?
Barron: House.
Melani: Chauuuus.
Trump: He's doing well. Just 18 months old...
Carol: Wow.
Trump: ...and he's doing really well.

• The Celebrity Apprentice [NBC]

• The Celebrity Apprentice [NBC]