Don will hear a familiar canine whimper during a smoke break. Is it— could it be— Chauncey?


Betty will stand by her (super) Man.


The Sterling Cooper gang will prepare for their network-synergy dance-off with the cast of Breaking Bad.


These men will be old.


Peggy will be smug.


Betty will become disillusioned with material possessions.


Really disillusioned.


Like, "Who am I, really, inside?" disillusioned.


Joan will wonder why all the good-looking men are either married or rapists.


Sal will wish he could just find the right lady to settle down with.


The guys will prepare for their skill-matched dance-off with the cast of The Big Bang Theory.


And, finally, an actual spoilery-type-thing: Don and Sal will have dinner with stewardesses (for Don) and a pilot (for Sal)!

"It never looks good," Hamm admits. "It's a pain." Well it certainly pains us to see it so lank and limp. Do you overcondition, Jon? Under shampoo? Is it dyed? So many questions.

The bangs! The bangs are not right. Sure, they're sort of reminiscent of someone from a different era. But not the right person. Or era.

Egads. Hamm says he's always worn his hair long, but had to cut it for Mad Men, in which — for the uninitiated — he plays a 1960s ad exec. Apparently the stylists on the show use hairspray and blow dryers for the "hard shell" on Don Draper's head, which Hamm says has come in handy: "I've had a piece of the set fall on my head and my hair didn't move. I had seven stitches in my head and my hair didn't move. That's impressive." Not impressive? These Davy Jones-ian wisps. The GF looks amazing, though!

Weed whacker. That is the only plausible explanation. He cut his hair with a weed whacker.

That sound you just heard was a million ladyboners withering. Libido levels fall down go boom.

Behold: Jon Hamm gives up. Without the talented hairstylists from Mad Men, he has no clue what to do with the testy tresses that top his head.


Unfortunately, Don Draper's hair — and the AMC series — is still in peril: The network still doesn't have a deal with Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner to make more episodes. "We can't do the show without Matthew," Hamm tells Fox 411's Roger Friedman. "Of course, you 'can' do it, but you know you can't."

'Mad Men' Star's Hair Is 'Bane Of My Existence' [CNN]
'Mad Men' On Thin Ice? [Fox 411]
Earlier: Don Draper Steps Out Of Time Machine
Related: The 8 Worst Hairdos A Man Can Have

[Lead image AMC/Splashpic; gallery images via Getty.]

Boomp3.com

The creative and sales departments of popular fictitious advertising agency Sterling Cooper hit the back 9 for a lil’ company retreat on Monday afternoon. The typically Mad Men became a group of Mellow Men despite going over—very over—par on their outing. The usually dapper Don Draper enjoyed a relaxed look. Draper said, “No one bothered us. No one asked me for advice or to come home with them. It was refreshing.”

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Boston Legal - James Spader
Breaking Bad - Bryan Cranston
Dexter - Michael C. Hall
House - Hugh Laurie
In Treatment - Gabriel Byrne
Mad Men - Jon Hamm

Don't even bother, House fans. Though Hugh Laurie turned in the compelling, two-hour season finale as his submission, Emmy voters love three-time winner James Spader, and his submission (which finds him passionately arguing a case before the Supreme Court) provides Spader with his biggest tour-de-force yet. If he's ever to lose, it won't be this year.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Brothers & Sisters - Sally Field
The Closer - Kyra Sedgwick
Damages - Glenn Close
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - Mariska Hargitay
Saving Grace - Holly Hunter

A toss-up! In a category filled with film refugees deigning to do TV (which Emmy loves), Sally Field won last year and notoriously gave a bleeped speech that will only solidify her as the incumbent in voters' memories. Her biggest threat is the cool, nefarious Close, but we'll side with inertia and predict Field as the winner once more.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Boston Legal - William Shatner
Damages - Ted Danson
Damages - Zeljko Ivanek
Lost - Michael Emerson
Mad Men - John Slattery

All but two of the nominees are newcomers to this category, and last year's winner Terry O'Quinn is nowhere to be found. We think voters will reward his co-star, Lost MVP Michael Emerson, whose blockbuster episode submission included horse-riding, piano playing, action scenes, foreign languages, and a juicy scene grieving the death of his daughter. Plus, Emerson is no Emmy novice: he won the award in 2001 for guest-starring on The Practice.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Boston Legal - Candice Bergen
Brothers & Sisters - Rachel Griffiths
Grey's Anatomy - Sandra Oh
Grey's Anatomy - Chandra Wilson
In Treatment - Dianne Wiest

If the category seems oddly mild this year, it's because of 2007 winner Katherine Heigl's infamous decision to pull her name out of consideration. As a reward to the co-stars who bit their lips and suffered in silence, we expect either Oh or Wilson to pull through as the winner, with a slight edge to Oh (after all, she once had to deal with Isaiah Washington, too).

Outstanding Drama Series
Boston Legal
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men

For party crashers Damages and Dexter, it's an honor just to be nominated. Like them, Mad Men is little-seen, but the difference is that it's watched by all the right people (and heavily appeals to older Emmy voters), so we expect a first-season surge to victory. What Would Don Draper Do if he had to go home empty-handed?

Let's start with my new obsession: Betty's equestrian style. It makes me regret that I have nothing saved from my horseback riding days, because I've spent upwards of 3 hours (that's not an exaggeration) on equestrian clothing sites and realized that building this look will probably cost me about $800. Howevs, I'm totally getting one of her shirts. But I would kill for this bag:

And her winter coat goes so perfectly with all of it:

As do those gloves:

And speaking of gloves, I think it's about time that we bring back opera gloves and costume jewelry.

The accompanying dress was also awesome. Other than New Year's and maybe Halloween, I can't think of an occasion to wear those where I wouldn't look like a total tool, though. Oh, and dresses! Peggy's was adorbz:

And duh, Joan's ruled, too. Now I'm thinking about investing in some serious foundation garments this fall:

Now, on to set design. Obvs this shelf is choice:

I dug this blond wood headboard:

And the matching lamps on the nightstands:

Now I need multiple silk pillows with large buttons:

And for some reason I was really drawn to this stupid framed art of a metal dog:

I also wouldn't mind a globe in my house. I suck at geography, so it would actually serve a dual purpose. I imagine that Betty went all out to make Don's office cozy and official. And smoked the whole time. Christ, I wish I could look that glamorous while chain smoking. Instead, I'm in a muumuu and my hair and face are competing for the Greasiest Surface in Brooklyn award.

Lastly, Roger Sterling's office is all kinds of awesome. I want to have that wall art.

And I wouldn't mind having him, either.