In today's installment: Lindsay Lohan (twice!), Katherine Heigl, Al Pacino, Adrian Grenier, Nicole Richie, Casey Affleck, Elijah Wood (with Dominic Monaghan and Evangeline Lilly), Eric Stoltz, Mario Lopez, Bryce Dallas Howard, Samantha Ronson, Larry King, Audina Patridge, Tommy Lee and Ludacris, Bradley Cooper, Clea Duvall, Ian Ziering and Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons.

FRIDAY, MAY 9
· Friday night I make a quick run into Toast for one of their yummy cupcakes. While I'm waiting, I look over and see uber hottie Bradley Cooper laying back on the couch. Sporting that sexy scruff and a shirt unbuttoned enough to get a shot of his nice chest. My gay porn fantasy come true! Oh...he was with some unrecognizable chick.
· Saw Casey Affleck, Summer Phoenix and two young kids dining with Clea Duvall, an unknown male and another small kid at Mexico City in Los Feliz. Nobody seemed to pay much attention but I was transfixed. Summer Phoenix sat facing the whole restaurant holding a small child. Her eyes are huge and she is a people watcher. Casey was very quiet and paid attention only to his small, hyper son.
· Lindsay Lohan walking into the Vista Theater in Silver Lake at 12 noon for a video shoot for the Make A Wish Foundation. The papanazis were right behind in minivans and SUV's, peeling into an alley one after the other like NASCAR drivers on meth (or Danica Patrick on a pit stop.) Hard to say who's more dangerous behind the wheel, Lindsay or these duds. I mean, dudes. No I don't.

SATURDAY, MAY 10
· At the Southern California Renaissance Faire I saw Tommy Lee and Ludacris filming an episode for their show Battleground Earth. They were supposedly learning how to make paper. Both were wearing extravagantly feathered 3 Musketeers hats.
· I saw Lindsay Lohan with Sam Ronson at the Beachwood Market; they were shopping for a lot of groceries (including toilet paper, cause everyone shits), but NO BOOZE.
· Al Pacino shops at Target (at the mall in Hollywood). Saw him in the toy section with some little kid (son? grandson?). He was in that all in black, oversized blazer, baggy pants look, and my girlfriend thought he was Richard Lewis.
· Katherine Heigl exits the Say Cheese in Silverlake at Hyperion and Monon and the paparazzi swarm around her making a huge scene. Katherine looks great and handles it well but it looks annoying as F**k. These paparazzi look like total scum and K.H. is soooo boooooring anyway. The whole situation is bizarre but for some reason people like seeing people in movies walk in and out of stores.
· After suffering through the stank of dog urine at Runyon Canyon, my friends and I are blinded by the site of some chick with ginormous boobs. They were so distracting that we almost missed that she was with none other than Steve Sanders himself - Ian Ziering.
· I have never felt uglier sending a sighting in than i do right now. Saturday evening @ the gelson's in calabasas, I saw Jeffrey Tambor buying a travel-sized saline solution and a single fleet enema. Hey now!

TUESDAY, MAY 13
· I saw Diedrich Bader and Jamie Kennedy at Mozza. Damn, that place is tasty.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 14
· I spotted hobbits Elijah Wood and Dominic Monaghan (with girlfriend Evangeline Lilly in tow) checking out singer/songwriter Matt Miller's set at King's Road Cafe. Unfortunately, there was no cover of Leonard Nimoy's 'The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins', but that would've been amazing.

THURSDAY, MAY 15
· Rode the elevator with Beyonce and her security guy at Jay-Z's Roc The Mic Studios on 27th street about 5 mins ago. Very pretty -not noticeably pregnant. Also, the asshole security guard blocked her off from just me like she was royalty.

SUNDAY, MAY 18
· The opening of Two Unrelated Plays by David Mamet at the Kirk Douglas was the place to be for random celeb (ok, generous) sightings on a Sunday afternoon. Felicity Huffman, Eric Stoltz, Tate Donovan, Joe Mantegna, Kate Burton, Julianne Phillips, and Ricky Jay were all present and accounted for.
· Bryce Dallas Howard with baby and a companion (not sure if it was husband Seth Gabel or not, but I'm kicking myself for not paying attention to a potential Jeremy Darling sighting!) leaving Whole Foods at Fairfax & Santa Monica.

MONDAY, MAY 19
· Mario Lopez at T-Mobile Store at One Embarcadero Center in San Francisco. With a mustachioed handler. Tight green shirt (showed off the guns), woven leather belt and jeans. Didn't really believe it was him until one of the (male) cashiers asked him for a cell phone photo, which he gave graciously. As soon as he left the store, all three male cashiers huddled over the cell phone photo and discussed Saved By The Bell episodes.
· Mickey Gubitosi AKA Robert Blake at the Pinkberry looking happy, healthy and enjoying the goodness that is Crackberry. Looks like he has been hitting the gym. It's nice to him happy again. [Ed Note — Um, we guess?]

TUESDAY, MAY 20
· Saw the ESPN Sports Guy (Bill Simmons) eating a fancy lunch at Campanile with the Sports Gal (wife), kid, and what looked like either his or his wife's mom (5/20). This sighting probably means nothing to 90% of Defamer readers but for us heterosexual males in our 30s it's a big deal.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 21
· Saw Adrian Grenier at the El Rey at the sold-out Kills show. His appearance in the crowd triggered several conversations around me that went exactly like this: "Do you watch Entourage?" "Eeeeeehhhhhhhhyeeeeah, well, I used to...then I totally got sick of it."

THURSDAY, MAY 22
· Saw Nicole Richie at Katsu-Ya in Studio City. She was teeny tiny, wearing a dirty white hoodie (that was too big) with leggings and had her hood up most of the time. Sorry Nicole, there's no mistaking that mug! She waited for a long time for a table and finally settled down at the sushi bar. She was with a nondescript female and was not approached by anyone. She was a bit boring, but my friends visiting from New York got the celeb sighting they were hoping for!
· Thurs. 5/22. Saw Paula Poundstone at the Coffee Bean in the lobby of the CAA building asking the barista if he wanted an extra ticket to an LA Sparks game.

FRIDAY, MAY 23
· Wee little Christian Siriano spotted in West Hollywood last night- giving out hugs to fans on San Vicente and Santa Monica, wearing a black beanie, black trench coat, black skinny jeans and silver reflective high top sneakers (possibly Nikes?). Fierce!
· Was walking out of Indy 4 at the Arclight Hollywood and saw Jacinda Barrett having a chat with 2 guys. White long sleeve shirt under a black short sleeve one and super skinny jeans. So skinny in fact I almost bought her a pesto sausage from the snack bar.

SATURDAY, MAY 24
· Saw Audina Patridge around 6:30PM at the Happy Nail salon at West Hollywood Gateway center. The salon madame was clearly impressed with her walk-in client, who arrived with a friend girl. Since I was with my only friend who gives a shit about The Hills, Defamer has the privilege of being my "OMG, guess who I just saw" email.

SUNDAY, MAY 25
· Oh. My. God. F-List reality night at Barney's Beanery (WeHo branch on Santa Monica Blvd.) on Sunday night for karaoke. First of all, some dude is singing Kiss by Prince and surprisingly hitting all the notes, and it turns out to be that black trainer with the dreads from Work Out on Bravo. Not a bad singer! THEN. I am talking to a group of people who include these two tall identical blond dudes. Today whilst trolling the blogs I see one of them in the teaser for the new VH1 show I Love Money, and I realize that he was Mr. Boston from I Love New York. He has an identical twin. They are both kind of dorky and awkward.
· Wandering in and out between the parked cars in the 700 block of Hillcrest Road in Beverly Hills Sunday morning: Larry King. Note to Larry — those speeding metal chariots will hurt you. Use your phone on the sidewalk.

· Edie Falco follows in Mary Louise Parker's footsteps, starring in a half-hour comedy for Showtime produced by Lionsgate, about "an iron-willed Gotham nurse balancing the challenges of work in an urban hospital and a difficult personal life." No title yet, but may we suggest Needles? Then they can plug it as the "Weeds n' Needles Comedy Hour." [Variety]
· Discovery Channel got cold feet about airing Oscar-nominated documentary Taxi to the Dark Side, about the murder of an Afghani cab driver at a U.S. air base, so HBO scooped it up for a September airing. [Variety]
· THR questions if the lack of post-strike activity suggests "the calm before the storm or the calm before more calm?" Not to criticize their coverage, but they completely left out the possibility of it being the calm before the storm before another brief period of calmness before a steadier storm front moves in. So many possibilities! [THR]

In today's episode: Diane Lane; Katherine Heigl, Josh Kelley, and Sara Ramirez; Kirsten Dunst; Alex Trebek; Cynthia Nixon and Rob Schneider; Rose McGowan; Jonah Hill; Dominic Monaghan; Alice Cooper; Wilmer Valderrama; Rich Sommer; and Blake Lewis.

· 12/8 - Diane Lane and daughter, both looking lovely with similar pixie cuts, braving the holiday madness at the Century City mall Saturday evening. I immediately started searching to see if hubby Josh Brolin was around - damn that man is having a fantastic year - but sadly he was nowhere to be seen.

· Walking out of the Variety screening of JUNO at the Arclight on Tuesday, I saw Katherine Heigl (with Josh Kelley) and Sara Ramirez (with unnamed man). It looked like they were double dating. Sara was thinner than I expected but it was incredibly refreshing to see two working actresses who wouldn't fall over if a stiff breeze came along.

· I saw Kirsten Dunst at the Arclight around 4:30 pm on Saturday, December 8th. No make-up on, looks exactly like you'd think she would. Not very tall and she was in heels. Very thin and absolutely no butt to speak of. She was with an older producer-type gentleman. Thought they'd head in to the theaters, but they made their way up the ramp towards the restaurant. I mentioned that they could've picked a better place to eat to my friend, to which she responded, "She doesn't eat."

· Friday, December 7th at 12:45 p.m. fellow-Canuck, Alex Trebek at the Sherman Oaks Galleria on Ventura Blvd. God only knows what the Canadian Quizmaster was doing in that pathetic excuse for a mall; then again I was headed to Paul Mitchell. The gent was sporting two nondescript brown-paper shopping bags; sans adequate labeling for further prying eyes. Maybe PF Chang's takeout - so ending the mystery once and for all.

· It seemed like a slow Monday night at Chinois on Main in Santa Monica until Cynthia Nixon and two other dykish gals walked in for a bite. Shortly after Rob Schneider and a group of 3 came in as well. I'm sure they all ordered the fish!

· And in the random sighting of the month, saw Rose McGowan in the Aaron Brothers framing outlet on Sunset and Western, Sunday afternoon.

· Dec 9 - Mr. Superbad Jonah Hill entertaining a table of Los Feliz's finest hipsters...recomended: half pastrami and half franch dip.

· On Tuesday, December 10 I went to the Blick Art Store on Beverly Blvd. to pick up some molding hooks. Walked in and spied Now-Dead Lostaway & Hobbit Dominic Monaghan waiting in line to purchase spraypaint. When he finally got to an available cash register to pay, the cashier gal (who clearly had no idea who he was) saw the spraypaint, looked at him, and asked if he was eighteen. His reply? "I have a beard!" Awesome exchange to see, especially knowing that now-unemployed Dominic is either a tagger or a huffer.

· Funny sighting sunday at the Rose Bowl flea market... Alice Cooper, accompanied by a cute young woman (a daughter maybe?). They were very cool, and super nice to the dealer..but here's the funny part: they were debating between buying a box of "Jesus Wheaties" or a box of "Hitler-O's". Some kind of vintage gag cereal items, I guess. They ultimately went with the Hitler-O's. And they didn't even haggle over the price. Oh and Alice looks pretty good, for being like 200 yrs old.

· Saturday 12/8 I spotted Fez aka Wilmer "i like young thangs" Valderrama at the Bev Center with a gaggle of teenage darlings sporting the various requisite westside teen uniform of leggings, newsboy caps, and handbags that are five times bigger than their heads. ok so i wear that crap too but i drive a camry and they probably drive range rovers. color me jealous.

· 12/8/07 - Saw Rich Sommer ("Harry Crane" from "Mad Men" and "Other Guy" from "Devil Wears Prada") at the Ralph's at Burbank and Van Nuys, buying a wee half-pint of store-brand heavy cream (which he carried out in-hand...perhaps too eco-conscious to take a bag for one item...or just very proud of his purchase). I don't think I've ever actually seen anyone buy heavy cream, even out here in the backwater Valley. He looked thinner than on TV, though, so the cream isn't doing any damage, I guess. He was alone, sort of distracted and fidgety, wearing glasses, and very, very tall.

· At LaLa's on Melrose Saturday night (12/8) and who should boisterously enter and sit down at the table next to us? American Idol runner-up Blake Lewis, of course. He acted as though he really wanted to be recognized. However, I saw no fan approaches. Sorry Blake, maybe you'll read this and feel better.

In today's jam-packed episode: Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart; Steven Spielberg, Heather Locklear, Kobe Bryant, and Andy Garcia; Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli; Meg Ryan, Matthew Perry and Kevin Pollak; Dennis Hopper and Adrian Grenier; Melanie Griffith; Emmanuelle Chriqui; Seal and Heidi Klum; Janeane Garofalo; Sean "Puffy" Combs, Dennis Haysbert, Michael Rapaport, and Tom Arnold; Cheryl Tiegs; Andy Samberg, Maya Rudolph, and Rivers Cuomo; Dominic Monaghan; Rufus Sewell and Mary-Kate Olsen; Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, and Josh Kelley; John Waters; Eddie Izzard; Adam Scott; Jamie Gertz; Peter Bogdanovich; Fisher Stevens; Peter Guber; Brian Posehn; and Gloria Allred.

· Nov. 12 - Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford having lunch with mom at Panini Cafe in Newport Beach near the John Wayne airport. Ultra-casual dress and Calista has a severe case of bed head. Perhaps just got off of a flight?

· ridiculous week...

wednesday, 11/7, saw steven spielberg, heather locklear, kobe bryant, and andy garcia at the hannah montana concert (staples center) - yeah, they were all with their kids. later that night pretty sure i saw nora zehetner at the architecture in helsinki show at the troubador!

tuesday, 11/8, ran into jennie garth and peter facinelli at the 'kraft-a-palooza' (!!!) cheetah girls show at the house of blues.

· 11/10 Saturday at the Swell Season show at the Wiltern: A special section was roped off just for the celebs... looked more like a velvet rope cage in the middle of the floor that all the plebes had to walk around to get out, giving maximum exposure to matthew perry chatting up kevin pollak while meg ryan and her duck lips stared off into oblivion. we all commented that we wished she was still the "you've got mail" version of herself. rumor has it jenna fisher was also there but i didn't see her. weird crowd, amazing show.

· Nov 6 - 2 Studly Bohunks Swanking It Up at the AFI Fest at the Arclight....and that would be Dennis Hopper, pacing about like a jolly mad professor, and Adrian Grenier, tall as the dickens, just every bit as charming as you'd imagine ole Vinnie Chase to be. Both mirthful, both indicative of Greater Star Wattage to Come; but guess what? It never came.

· So I went to Cabo for a wedding this past weekend. On the flight down, Melanie Griffith was seated in first class acting and being treated as if she's turned in a great performance since Working Girl (1988 kids!) She looks like she's been dragged behind a horse one too many times.

In marked contrast was Emmanuelle Chriqui on the return flight. She stood in line like a normal person, smiled and chatted with fellow passengers, waited for her own bags and generally gave off a "really sweet person" vibe. I half expected her to jump on the Lot C bus to get her car!

· 11/4 - This one's a bit late. Seal and Heidi Klum stopping by my Starbucks in Beverly Hills most Sundays is old news, but this time they brought their two older kids. Cutest. Family. Ever. The little girl was very sociable saying hi to people, and the boy had to touch everything — he even tried to take off with an old man's dog. Cutest. Family. Ever.

· 11/9 - After catching a show at UCB Friday night, I caught Janeane Garofalo (who practically stole the show with her recounting of sex with a sweet but slow-witted fireman) exiting with Matthew 'Yeah, It's Retired Must See TV Me, Please Look Away' Perry and an unidentified yet somewhat cute nerd in tow.

· Odd batch of celebrity sightings for this East Coaster...

Monday, Nov. 5 - Cheryl Tiegs at Urth Cafe on Melrose
Tuesday, Nov. 6 - At Wolfgang Puck's CUT at the Reg Bev Wil - Dennis Haysbert, Sean "Puffy" Combs (and entourage of 20 or so sloppily dressed hangers-on), Michael Rapaport, Dog, the Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth, and Tom Arnold in jeans, a green shirt and cap.

Good times indeed!

· Sat Nov 10 - While sitting during the intermission at the Joanna Newsom concert, stewing in my own pseudo-hippy heaven, I got up to allow some people into my row. They were SNL's Andy Samberg and Maya Rudolph. He is an attractive hobbit; disappointed because he looks so tall on TV. She was beautiful and had a really cute sweater on and a few minutes later another guy joined them and my friend wondered when the Rivers Cuomo look was going to fade...but I think it might have actually been Rivers Cuomo.
It was an amazing show, by the way.

· Saturday 10 November, around 5ish - Dominic Monaghan at Amoeba, dressed like an adorable little Unabomer.

· While sitting in the nose bleed section last night at the Spoon/Feist concert (Nov. 12) in the Universal Gibson Theater, caught Rufus Sewell ambling his way up and down the aisle. Then some random guy, thanks again Adam, gave my friend and I two orchestra tickets he couldn't sell because we looked cool. We moved to the awesome new seats, close enough to see Feist's catbag! The only snag of the night was having to tell Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen (honestly, I don't know which one, I guess the really blonde one) to put out her cigarette. She complied for about 20 minutes then asked for permission to light another one. I relented only because I knew that the couples in front of me would object, which they did, vehemently. Despite being a smurf, she was, much to my surprise, normal body size (or maybe I've been in LA too long), though I suspect that illusion was created by boho chic layers.

· saw Katherine Heigl dining with an older woman (her mother?) at Figaro in Los Feliz Friday night (11/9). I would have yelled, "Hey, Katherine Hi-jel! It's i before e except after c," but I didn't want to cause a ruckus at my favorite restaurant. Another tip for Katherine: If you would prefer that civilians not notice you, don't eat outside facing the street on the busiest block in the neighborhood looking so gorgeous that you GLOW.

· I saw Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight, Josh Kelley, and some fourth guy (whom I didn't recognize) at 7:30 am at the Rose Bowl swap meet. Heigl was wearing a baggy grey sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball cap, and glasses (not sunglasses). She looked really skinny. The men looked pretty normal. Heigl was looking at some awful threadbare reddish sofa, but I walked off too soon to see if she bought it.

· Director John Waters yesterday (11/8/7) shortly after noon at the baggage carousel for AA #1 in from New York. He was reportedly talking non-stop on cell from the time the plane landed. He was wearing low-top sneakers, rather faded red pants and a plaid shirt. His chauffeur stood by as he paced back and forth looking for his luggage. Coincidence? The in-flight movie was "Hair Spray."

· 11-7—-
Last night after crossing the picket lines here at Disney after getting my pink slip, I went to the Rock-n-Roll Ralphs on Sunset and Eddie Izzard walked in, very serious and in his THE RICHES swag sweat shirt that he was spotted on the picket line wearing. He's so hot yet short in person. Love the man!!!

· Nov 10 Just saw Adam Scott from TELL ME YOU LOVE ME at the Apple Store at the Grove. He was pushing a stroller and had a huge grin on his face, so it's nice to know he doesn't share Palek's views on parenting. He's really adorable but I couldn't look at him without thinking "stunt ejaculation" and laughing, so I quickly turned the other way.

· Nov 12 - Saw Jamie Gertz at Sherman Oaks Castle hosting a kids birthday. I did not realize she is turning into Teri Hatcher! Overheard Jamie say, "I worked out this morning, so I can have something" as she eyed a pizza.

· AFI Fest, Arclight, Friday night, November 2. Was exiting the ladies room when I noticed a somewhat fish-faced, bespectacled older gentleman pass me in the hallway. I frantically wracked my brain, thinking "I know who that is..." when the ascot hit me! Peter Bogdanovich! Looking somewhat like an older, saggier version of Huckleberry Hound. He walked into the Q&A of our movie, "Margot at the Wedding" and took a seat. Why, I'm not sure.

· Nov 8 - bizarre one — fisher stevens hanging out by the brentwood country mart, having clearly just got out of yoga, sweating and swinging his mat around in a heated conversation.

· Thursday night (11/8) at La Scala, spotted telegenic mogul Peter Guber having dinner with a similarly-aged gentleman I couldn't identify (since his back was to me). Guber looked pretty relaxed, probably because that remake of The Birds he's producing doesn't require an actual script.

· The food-court at the century City mall was taken over by WGA Strikers today (Nov 9). Through the mayhem I had a sighting of Sarah Silverman's dungeons and dragons, heavy metal loving, gay neighbor from the "The Sarah Silverman Program", Brian Posehn. He was chowing down on a fuddrucker's burger (I'm guessing Jay Leno did not stop by with some snacks...) and chatting with some Writer Strikers. He was decked out in a red comic book t-shirt showing he is obviously down with the cause. I hope this strike ends soon so I don't have to wait in the Panda Express line for a 1/2 hour on my lunch break.

· spotted Gloria Allred in Von's Market, Sunset Blvd. and PCH last Saturday night 11/2. It was about 10:30 PM and even though she was the only customer in the store besides myself, she was wearing huge dark sunglasses as if trying not to be noticed. Every time I see her on television she seems to be looking for attention. She was grabbing herself a roasted chicken. YAWN!

In today's episode: Jason Schwartzman; Justin Timberlake; Dominic Monaghan; Alicia Silverstone and Jemaine Clement; Tony Hale; Billy Baldwin; Harry Dean Stanton and Ron Jeremy.

· 9/19 at 5:30ish, a preppily dressed (i.e. chino shorts) Jason Schwartzman pulled up to metered space in front of Sprinkles in a dirty Prius. He was instantly recognizable and quite short. He appeared to contemplate waiting or cutting in the really long line but then walked elsewhere. He had a cane and dance shoes in the front seat, a Jansport backpack & an APC shopping bag in the back. Overheard a tourist in the Sprinkles line noting that he was walking as if his butt hurt.

· This may be too old to post but it's a goody. I saw Justin Timberlake the day after the VMA's, on the night of his cancelled performance (9-10), at Kasu-ya sushi in Studio City. He was with two girls, maybe publicity chicks. They were not hot and he looked bored. He was very 'Au Bon Pain' in hideous jean shorts and a hoodie. Au Bon Pain means if he was working there, no one would think he was cute.

· September 20, 4:15 I was standing out on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette when I spotted this cute young man walking in front of West Elm on 4th Street in Santa Monica. It was Dominic Monaghan, the hobbit from Lost. Anyway, he was wearing these tight little jeans that drooped down in back exposing a good three inches of very nice red paisly boxers - they might have been silk. As he checked out the windows of West Elm, I said, perhaps a bit too out loud, "Oh my, isn't that lovely?" And he pulled his pants up before walking into Michael's Art Supplies. I was going to follow him in but needed to get back to work so I'll have to wonder if he was picking up scrapbooking supplies, shrinky-dinks or perhaps artificial flowers so that his LA digs will feel more like Maui.

· At the New Pornographers show last night (9/19), was up on the roof of the Henry Fonda, in the loungey outdoor couch seating area toward the end of the show, and so was Alicia Silverstone with an entourage of older dreadlocked white guys. Huh. Anyway, she looks very skinny — kind of scary skinny — but she was happy and giggly and looked totally normal for a celebrity. I'm also pretty sure I saw Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords by the bar on the first floor, but I'm not as sure about that one.

· Tony Hale (Buster from Arrested D) at Trader Joe's in Silver Lake yesterday afternoon (Mon. 9/17) with his wife and adorable little daughter. Nice that he takes advantage of a flexible work sched to help out with the household shopping duties.

· Billy Baldwin out with his co-star Candis Cayne (a real transgendered actress playing Baldwin's transgendered mistress on "Dirty Sexy Money") Out at Advocate Party last Tuesday night at Republic.

· 9/12 - Walked into Dan Tana's a little past midnight only to find ever-so-attractive Ron Jeremy hovering at the front door. Later he was joined in a booth by a couple that could only be described as crack-chic. Meanwhile, lurking at the bar was Harry Dean Stanton in a menacing way.