Boomp3.com

Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog: Hey Reese, do you know when Jake is getting back?

Reese Witherspoon: Uh….What?

J.G.D.: My dad, Jake. Do you know when he’s coming home?

(Witherspoon removes one of her ear buds)

R.W.: Sorry. I couldn’t hear you there. Listening to Bob Seger.

(Jake Gyllenhaal’s Dog nods his head.)

J.G.D: Gotta love the Seger. I’m more of a Springstein fan. Anyways, I asked if you knew when my dad was getting back? I kind of miss him. A lot.

R.W.: Well, mommy misses him too.

J.G.D.: Wait…whoa..wait. You’re my mom?

R.W.: Well, I’m working on it. I don’t want to jinx myself though.

J.G.D.: So, no idea as to when he’s coming back home? Can he get e-mail out wherever he is.

R.W: Oh yeah. We do that iChat thing with the cameras all the time. He looks great. Tan and all buff. You’d be impressed.

J.G.D: So, you’ve been talking to my dad all this time? Not fair. Not fair at all.

R.W.: I didn’t know you were so concerned. You’re just usually licking yourself or sleeping, so I wasn’t sure. I will let you talk to him the next time we talk, okay?

Photo Credit: Flynet

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Boomp3.com

Baloney McCheesestick seized a golden opportunity on Thursday afternoon to get busy with Gossip Girl star Blake Lively. Baloney's parents knew that one of their child's greatest desires was to hump the leg of one of the actresses from the popular CW series. Baloney's mother said, "Whenever we watch the show, Baloney just goes to town on his little sleep pillow." Baloney's father felt that his son's habit had become disturbing, but is optimistic that Baloney's session with Blake Lively's right boot will cure his problem. Baloney's father said, "He's been there, he's done it and, hopefully, it's over. We can only hope that he doesn't get into the new 90210."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

Jessica Biel: Hey, do you want to go to the park today? Play with the other dogs?
Jessica Biel's Dog: Too hot for park today. Also, there are too many people there. Way too many.
J.B.: Well, do you want to go a movie? Catch that new Batman movie?
J.B.D: I saw it the other day with the dog from next door. We went to the Bridge. I'll never make that mistake again.
J.B.: Why's that?
J.B.D: It's like a smaller version of City Walk. Ugh. If it's not the Arclight, then it's probably bullshit. You know what I mean?
J.B.: Yeah....So, what do you want to do today?
J.B.D.: Do you want to get a smoothie?
J.B.: Nah. Do you just want to sit in front of a fan and do Darth Vader impressions?
J.B.D.: Best idea I heard all day.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

boomp3.com

All those of hours of practice and hard work finally paid off for Reese Witherspoon and her bulldog as they successfully struck a similar pose on their way to Fred Segal. Witherspoon was inspired by the CBS reality series Greatest American Dog and wanted to have a symbiotic relationship with the pup. Witherspoon didn't want to become a crazy dog lady, but she realized that her bulldog was just too cute to not pal around with while in Hollywood.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.