In a story the media is still trying to wrap its head around, guitarist Joe Perry told the Las Vegas Sun that all he knows about the end of his band is what he's read on the web, which is telling him that after decades together, Aerosmith is no more. After playing a show in Abu Dhabi last week, Perry said he returned home to Boston and read an interview Tyler had given to the website of Classic Rock Magazine in which in said he was done with the band.

"I don't know what I'm doing yet, but it's definitely going to be something Steven Tyler: working on the brand of myself –- Brand Tyler," Tyler told Classic Rock.

Apparently inter-band communications are not what they could be, so reading rumors and quotes online seems to be Aerosmith's only source of news about each other. The Sun quotes:

"Steven quit as far as I can tell," Perry said from his Boston home. "I don't know anymore than you do about it. I got off the plane two nights ago. I saw online that Steven said that he was going to leave the band. I don't know for how long, indefinitely or whatever. Other than that, I don't know."

Part of the problem, he says, is that Tyler doesn't return his phone calls.

"He's notorious for that," Perry said. "That's one thing I've learned to live with. I try to overlook it. I like to pick my battles. Frankly, the last few months I've been wanting not to rock the boat. I don't want him canceling any more gigs. We really wanted to do these last four. We just kind of didn't want to call him out or anything and get him anymore pissed off, for whatever reason. So we just let things lie. So we did the gigs and, like I said, I got off the plane and saw this online. That's how I know about it."

And apparently, the band as a whole is believing what it reads. The group posted on its own website a link to a Boston Herald story about the Classic Rock story about the break-up.

[Via Hitfix]

"It does not appear that she's going to be back on 'Idol,'" says Paula's manager David Sonenberg. He's tried and tried to get some sort of deal from producers FremantleMedia and 19 Entertainment, but well... we all know what it means when Hollywood doesn't return calls. Blame new judge Kara DioGuardi. Paula's status as Queen of AI felt rocky as soon as there was a new girl in town. We smell a catfight!

Ryan Gay/Straight/Gay Seacrest, meanwhile, sits pretty and overly tanned with his three-year, $45 million deal. Oh, Paula, we love you, because you're cra-ay-ay-azy! [EW]

But for those 007-ophiles who shrug off the one-film Lazenby era urging good riddance and the rejoinder that there are no second acts in American life, a closer look at the marital discord in fact proves that the On Her Majesty's Secret Service star couldn't ask for a more stirring, villainous comeback vehicle:

"We were having a hard discussion about whether we could continue together under one roof. When the conversation turned to the kids, he said 'If you take the kids, I will kill you.' He and I have discussed this horrible incident and he says it was just his Australian manner and some humour - however, the mood and tone was all serious and I was devastated." ...

Shriver said the couple had disagreed on parenting issues. "Throughout 2006 and 2007, I observed and objected to him offering our children beer from beer bottles and ice from scotch glasses," she wrote. "Throughout the marriage, I have protested his objections to things like the kids brushing their teeth, going to the pediatrician for check-ups, having innoculations, using sun block, keeping a schedule and car seats fitting securely."

In court filings obtained by the Herald Sun, Lazenby said had never abused Shriver or the children. "She is a very competitive person — this is the cause of her success on the tennis court," he said. "Her actions seem to indicate that she is more interested in winning and controlling the situation than what is best for our children."

Having spent some time with a number of warm-hearted friends from Down Under, we can vouch for Lazenby's benificent "Australian manner"; like his compatriot Mel Gibson before him, he's also been accused of anti-Semitic slurs denouncing "senior Israeli government officials who were dining in the same swanky Los Angeles restaurant." Moreover, if you've never seen an Aussie dad pop a latex nipple on a Foster's can, then you're just not paying attention. And sunblock? Really? Seriously, remind us to never marry a tennis pro.

• George Lazenby cops a grand slam [Herald Sun via Israelly Cool]

Did you know that Robin and Marsha met while A) he was married to another woman and B) she was working as her nanny? Wowzers! Not only had we failed to recognize Williams as the nanny-schtupping type, but now our entire perspective on Mrs. Doubtfire has shifted. Can't believe we missed out on that subtext for all these years. Fingers crossed that Netflix is back online, this one's headed straight to the top bottom of our queue.

• Robin Williams and Wife Split [ExtraTV]

It's amazing [Spears' lawyer] was able to get a 50/50 custody split given Brit's craziness, which included wild partying, erratic behavior and a stint in rehab. This type of custody arrangement is typically reserved for a stable couple.

But all is not over! We're told neither Brit nor Fed-Ex are happy with the custody arrangement, and either of them can go back to court and ask for a change. On top of that, Kevin won't even speak to Spears, so they will probably be back in court asking the judge to make decisions about child rearing.

• Britney & K-Fed Officially Kaput [TMZ.com]
• Britney 'breaks custody terms' [news24.com]

A rep for the couple said, "They remain good friends. This decision was both mutual and amicable, and they plan to share custody of their two children."

Rumors of the split surfaced two weeks ago just as Gigi's new "Starter Wife" debuted on USA. The show stars Debra Messing as a spouse whose powerful studio head husband leaves her for a younger woman, but he eventually begs for a reconciliation.

The heavily promoted miniseries had some in Hollywood wondering if the Grazers' breakup could be a case of life imitating art - but we're assured there are no third parties involved. [...]

"They have been together for a total of 16 years," a pal said. "No one can say they didn't give it their best shot." If they do follow through with a divorce, friends said there will be no hard feelings - they have an iron-clad prenup agreement and both are successful and "make their own money."

The assurance that "no third parties" were involved in the relationship's disintegration is little more than a transparent effort to keep things tidy in the press during a turbulent time, as longtime Imagine collaborator Russell Crowe has brazenly conducted a torrid, public affair with Grazer's beautiful mind for some time. And while the pair say they'll jointly care for their children, it's unclear how they will arrange for the custody of their beloved "Jesus Christ, Hunky Ikea Carpenter of Love" project; hopefully, they'll raise this product of their once-loving union without acrimony, avoiding nasty fights in which Brian threatens to put it in turnaround the first time Gigi conveniently "forgets" to bring by a new draft for his weekend visitation.

• Splitsville For 'starter' Wife [Page Six]