Pink's "Get This Party Started" accompanied Abdul's entrance and, considering the lyrics, — "I'm Coming Up" — makes us wonder whether Abdul was trying to intimate that Ellen has a big ego. Plus, "I'm coming up" sounds like "coming out," which could be a dig at Ellen's lesbian ways. Then, looking back earlier in the day, Abdul said that American Idol would be a "different show" with Ellen in the judge's seat.

If you ask us, that sounds like a backhanded compliment from a woman whose love of money cost her a position in America's biggest spotlight. Now she's forced to make a spectacle of herself while dressed as the woman who replaced her.

But, have to admit: Abdul does do a knock-out job mimicking Ellen's mannerisms.

After her husky voice descends into a dramatic alto of self-aggrandizement after one too many autograph-seekers outstretch their plebeian arms in her direction, the enterprising TMZ cameraman begins lobbing a series of Emmy-related probes at Heigl. After one particular inquiry into whether or not she has had any post-Emmy dropout meetings with the team of writers on Grey's, Heigl's quizzically bitchy and entirely dismissive intonation of the word "writers" has to be heard to be believed.

As these pictures demonstrate, a few of Katherine's favorite things do not include raindrops on roses nor whiskers on kittens — they mainly involve using the useless guy (who gave her a ring she treasures far more than him) as a foot-rest, a shield to block her smoke exhalations, and one of those less attractive girlfriends celebrities enlist to co-analyze their body while asking, over and over, "So is my perfect rack perfect enough? Like is this nipple exactly where it should be? Yeah? Yeah, I know. Man am I tired of being right."

[Photo credits: Pacific Coast News]

• HEIGL JOINS WRITERS' GUILT OF AMERICA [TMZ]

"Nobody cared she wasn't there", snapped a prominent New York socialite...

The French branch of Warner Brothers Films, distributors of Vicky Cristina Barcelona in France, had spent weeks negotiating with Johansson's representatives about flying her to Cannes. [...]

Johansson demanded her own exclusive make-up consultant at a cost of 5,000 Euros a day...Johansson wanted to be at an hotel way out in the sticks, some 25 to 30 miles away. [...]

"Also, I think, while Woody's terribly fond of Scarlett, he was a little upset that she wasn't being a team player", an executive connected to the film told the Daily Mail.

It would seem to us a sort of tragedy if the father/daughter, virginity-curious bonds that bind Allen to his frequent muse were somehow compromised by Scarlett's childish diva antics. Hopefully the actress will reign in her ballooning sense of entitlement, lest her collaborator strike back by feigning illness on the opening night of the "Anywhere I Lay My Head Tour," thus rendering an evening of Tom Waits covers virtually unlistenable due to their lack of any clarinet accompaniment.

• Scarlett Johansson misses shining moment at Cannes after studio refuses demands [Daily Mail]

While we're admittedly among a small group of reality television obsessives who fell in a twisted bit of love with this America's Next Top Model copycat, we fell even more in love with the show when co-host Tyson Beckford surprised the models by bringing Naomi to their townhouse to review their books. (See the video here.) Since we rarely get to see supermodels talk, let alone interact with other people on cable TV, we were overjoyed to see a sweet-spoken, calm-as-a-cuke Campbell displaying what appeared to be a very sophisticated and pulled-together persona without a hint of brewing anger throughout her cameo. So what happened in the last few weeks? While the answer to that question will come out in the courts, we're fairly certain we have an antidote that would soothe her savage beastliness: a nice butt massage.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

• NAOMI CAMPBELL ARRESTED AT LONDON AIRPORT [People]

"He's finicky about scripts, mainly because he's so concerned about his voice and face being attached to the project...He's apparently so finicky that his demanded changes completely decimated a scheduled shoot in Latin America to get the campaign rolling."

This ad that Harrison shot for Kirin Beer sometime in the early `90s is the most disturbing celebrity endorsement we've seen since Diddy proclaimed his love for Proactiv. And after watching this monstrosity, we're left even more puzzled as to why Ford would give this oddball the thumbs-up but is fighting with the well-respected creative house BBDO over a series of spots to promote the least controversial cause of the moment. Sounds to us like ole Harrison might need some more green before he goes green.

• HARRISON FORD...COPYWRITER? [AgencySpy]

It's taken me a bit of courage to actually fess up to what I've seen on the set of CSI:Miami, but I actually worked there for two years and saw first-hand almost 50 episodes being filmed. Caruso is without a doubt, the most tortured, saddest man-child/ actor I've ever seen in over 15 years of movie and tv-making. Everything you have heard is true, but worse.

He can't walk and talk at the same time (you should see him on stairs), requires dozens of takes for simplest line-readings (which as we all know, he can only do one way), and can't even put his CSI gloves on on-camera (always a time cut, just watch). He will cuss uncontrollably (often in front of a child actor) and blame everyone but himself for his inability to act. He used to hack up big loogies on the floor of the set, too, until a producer gently reminded him of sanitation and courtesy. Oh, and he re-writes every scene he is in, so he is totally to blame for the hackneyed one-liners. He will take anything the writers give him, and destroy it. And the sunglass bit is all his, a truly innovative contribution to his character. But as he said to us many times, "What should I do? I am a grown man with red hair."

We used to call the diet coke his "acting juice."

PS - He once asked the DP to make it seem like he was flying to the crime scene, explaining that Horatio is actually a mythical superhero. For Real.

For real, indeed! Thanks again to OnSetSnitch.
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