Gawker: defamer, disneyland

Dwayne Johnson To Battle Theme-Park Obsolescence Gnomes in 'Tomorrowland' Movie

STV — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:20:00 EDT

Apparently looking to expand the modest scope that exploited its Pirates of the Caribbean attraction as a nearly eight-hour, $3 billion-grossing trilogy, Disney now plans to mine an entire portion of Disneyland for the franchise of the future. Literally: The studio has reportedly commissioned a pair of writers to develop the script for a film based on Tomorrowland, with Dwayne Johnson attached to star as a minimum-wage ride operator whose fantasies of updating Star Tours lead to a thrilling adventure through the Lucas/Disney black hole of bureaucracy. Or... something. If Disney knows, its overlords aren't talking:

The film is being designed as a vehicle for Johnson, who starred for the studio in family hit The Game Plan and most recently completed Race to Witch Mountain. Disney denies the film has been titled Tomorrowland or is dedicated to the park's section, a futuristic area of the Magic Kingdom that includes such attractions as Space Mountain. The studio called the nascent project an original script.

Translation: A Rock film is cheaper and faster than updating that entire outdated section of the park. And while we can't necessarily blame Disney's frugality, the purists in us hope Tomorrowland: The Movie preserves the singular experience of waiting two hours among camera-slinging tourists for the privilege of space flight — assuming the spacecraft is not out of service on our chosen day of travel. It's not called the Happiest Place on Earth for nothing, after all.

http://www.link.com">Johnson takes trip to 'Tomorrowland' [Variety]

Miley's Sweet 16: You (and 30,000 Gays) are Invited!

STV — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:00:00 EDT

OMG! The birthday-celebrating opportunity of your tween's lifetime is right around the corner at Disneyland, where plans for Miley Cyrus's Sweet-16 bash on Oct. 5 are coming together with saucy, serendipitous panache. Never mind the $250 face value of the limited tickets going on sale Aug. 30 — the guest list validates a price even double that. Take, for starters, the Jonas Brothers and Miley's other Disney cohorts, throw in a few volunteers handpicked from Youth Service America, and finish it off with a two-story birthday cake full of gays. Or at least a theme park full of them, according to The Advocate:

The 11th annual Gay Days event, which attracted 30,000 gays and lesbians to the park last year, actually takes place October 3-5. Gay Days describes itself as a "mix-in with straight parkgoers," where the LGBT crowd wears red shirts. Gay Days is not Disney-sponsored, so park operators will not have official regulation over the event.

We're told that Miley's party will indeed be well-removed from the Gay Days celebration, with her 5,000-strong contingent expected to squeeze into the redoubt of Sleeping Beauty's Castle and one lucky ticketbuyer selected at random to keep an eye on Nick Jonas at the door. Just in case! Check out Disney's ticket site (and turn down your speaker volume first, seriously) for your chance to win!

ET Exclusive: Miley Cyrus' Sweet 16 at Disneyland! [ET]
Miley to Celebrate Sweet 16 With Disney Gays [The Advocate]

From Chimpan-A To Chimpan-Z

Mark Graham — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:30:00 EDT

· There is no denying that chimpanzees have a proud tradition of cinematic excellence. From BJ And The Bear to Project X, the little rapscallions have earned their place as our favorite animal actors (especially since the bear species has proven themselves to be less than reliable). But as rad as it was when those chimps drove airplanes with Matty Broderick, it doesn't hold a candle to the utter domination of this little chimp playing Jenga on Japanese television. Yes, we said Jenga! [YouTube via AOTS]
· If you are offended by the sight of Robert Downey in blackface in Tropic Thunder, wait til you get a load of an overweight Japanese guy in blackface pretending to be Stevie Wonder in this bizarre tribute to "We Are The World." [Gheorge: The Blog]
· In what will certainly go down as the worst atrocity to happen to the Batman franchise since Joel Schumacher got kicked to the curb, we are disappointed to report that The Dark Knight's got milk. [FilmDrunk]
· "Here’s a napkin someone wrote on for me: 'I will give you a blow job on your break, so sexy! Kim—714-XXX-XXXX.' I would also get offers from women in my ear: 'Anything you want, just find me.' I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before. She was with a high school group, and she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park." Excerpts from Charlie Sheen's post-Denise diary? Nope. Just a day in the life of a Disneyland Jack Sparrow. [LA Mag]
· We're not quite sure exactly why every episode of Twin Peaks is available on CBS.com — considering the show aired on ABC — but that doesn't mean that we're not grateful. How's Annie? [CBS.com via Thighs Wide Shut]