"Timberlake's attempts at humor flopped, and breaking into a falsetto sing-songy funnyvoice after botching a scripted line didn't help...When he finished, the NSYNCsman was asked by one of the producers if he 'felt good about the speech.' 'Yeah. I mean, how is everyone else's [speech]?' Timberlake replied nervously."

We're actually quite saddened to hear this news, mainly because we so thoroughly enjoyed nearly every pitch-perfect second of his 2005 hosting duties on Saturday Night Live. There was the super competitive hot dog, the Target employee with a chapstick addiction, and the dead-on revenge-impersonation of Ashton Kutcher swiveling out of his mind on Punk'd. And then, in his December 2006 return, there was that digital short that had everyone under the age of 80 extolling the virtues of dicks in boxes. So what happened? We guess JT is only as funny as the cue cards the SNL staff has written for him. Oh well, at least this won't hurt his budding film prospects playing Very Serious roles.

• JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE STRUGGLES WITH HUMOR AT THE ROCK 'N ROLL HALL OF FAME INDUCTION [Radar Online]

"I think it's safe to say that when we first set out to make this song, we were all thinking 'Emmy!'" Samberg said in accepting the award Saturday for best original music and lyrics.

"The other thing we were thinking was, 'Hey! Here's this young up and comer, Justin Timberlake, who is clearly very talented and could clearly use a break,'" Samberg said. "So, Justin, if you're out there, congrats to you, kid.'"

Samberg, of course, was speaking with tongue firmly planted in cheek, as Timberlake's meteoric rise from boy band member to full-fledged pop king was all but cemented this year with the release of another single in which he sang of "bringing sexy back"—a catchy companion piece to Box that wisely suggested that even with the most carefully chosen and personal of Christmas presents, it's always best to include a gift receipt.

• Racy Timberlake 'Box' Video Wins Emmy [ABC News/AP]

Emmy host Ryan Seacrest said Wednesday that he is forgoing an opening monologue in favor of a musical number at the upcoming 59th Primetime Emmy Awards ceremony.

Seacrest said that the Emmy telecast, which is set to air live at 8 p.m. ET (tape-delayed on the West Coast) on Sept. 16 on Fox, will open with a musical number that he "may or may not be" part of depending on "how confident I feel on the 16th."

Asked whether there might be a performance of the Emmy-nominated song "Dick in a Box," originally performed by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg on NBC's "Saturday Night Live," Seacrest said Emmy producers are in talks with Timberlake — whose scheduling would be tricky since he has a show that night at Staples Center in Los Angeles — but that nothing is finalized.

It's not entirely out of the realm of possibility that the hit novelty song might in fact wind up the show opener itself, presented in a stunningly mounted production number: As Timberlake and Samberg serenade the crowd about creative last-minute gift ideas, a chorus of scantily clad background dancers climb a giant Christmas present set-piece, unraveling its bow to reveal a smiling Seacrest inside, costumed only in a flesh-colored body stocking as the song's titular "Dick."

• Seacrest's toes tapping for Emmy open [THR]

It's probably been weeks since you've contemplated the possibility of receiving a suitor's engorged penis presented in a festively decorated container, but at last night's Justin Timberlake concert at Madison Square garden, Timberlake and SNL's Andy Samberg, infamous partners in Color Me Badd-inspired romantic overtures, regifted their junk to thousands of boxed-cock-craving fans. This video from CollegeHumor allows you to recreate the heady experience of being present for this first! ever! live performance of "Dick in a Box," complete with the claustrophobia-induced nausea of being continuously jostled by an enthralled, squealing throng of 16-year-old girls.

[Note: If you don't see the clip above, trying clicking the blank space where it looks like there should be a video window.]

• Dick in a Box LIVE [CollegeHumor]

· While idling in your car for what seemed like days in a futile attempt to escape from The Grove's parking structure, you've often suspected you were actually trapped in a multi-tiered, Alighierian Inferno. Losanjealous offers photographic proof of your fear.
· "Dick in a Box": the t-shirt is now available on the internets. A quibble: Where's the bow and gift wrapping? It almost looks like you're being directed to put your junk in that birdhouse.
You know who really hates Frosty the Fucking Snowman? This guy.
Cityrag directs you to the 50 Greatest Cartoons of All Time.
· The Miss Nevada USA pics, uncensored—except for the Splash News watermark all over them. [Very NSFW]
· The ThighMaster presents The Girls Of The Wonder Years.

Just five days after SNL's "Dick in a Box" (variously and coyly referred to as "A Special Box," "Special Treat in a Box," and "A Special Christmas Box") debuted on the show and on the YouTubes, the NY Times delivers the inside scoop on how a brave consortium of late-night programming executives, lawyers, and NBC's highest-ranking officers decided to release an uncensored version of the liberally bleeped clip on the internet, allowing fans to remove any lingering doubts that the male sex organs being sneakily proffered to the delighted women in the video may have, in fact, been referred to as "cock(s) in a box," best network decency practices be (cautiously) damned. Reports the Times:

"We were all laughing," said [late-night programming executive Rick] Ludwin, who had been accompanied by a representative from the NBC legal department. And then Mr. Ludwin said he had a change of heart.

"Those people who go on the Internet will not be shocked by this," Mr. Ludwin recalled thinking. "Obviously there are some people who will be offended. Those people are probably unlikely to go searching for it on the Internet. It's just funny."

Still, the material was touchy enough, Mr. Ludwin said, that he sought final approval for the Web version of the video from the highest echelons of NBC, including Kevin Reilly, the president of NBC Entertainment , and Jeff Zucker, chief executive of NBC Universal Television Group.. Both approved the idea, he said. Another executive suggested that a disclaimer be placed before the Web-only version of the video that warned of its explicit content, a proposal that was immediately accepted.

The rest, as they say, is history: Zucker and Reilly approved the clip (which would go on to rack up over 2.5 million views on YouTube), shared an affirming high-five over their mutual, cutting-edge embracing of the internet platform, then briefly mused about "how awesome" it would be to cut holes in some boxes and spend the last few work days before Christmas gifting their privates to various staffer members.

Because we must, here's another opportunity to watch the clip. Good news: After a few days, It still holds up!

• Censored 'SNL' Sketch Jumps Bleepless Onto the Internet [NY Times]
• Previously; 'SNL' Puts Dick In Box In Attempt To Go Viral [Defamer]

This weekend's SNL debuted another digital short, "A Special Box" (think "Lazy Sunday," but with Color Me Badd and dicks in boxes instead of nerds and Narnia matinees) that NBC obviously hopes may inspire the same kind of viral video frenzy that the network enjoyed with last December's hip-hop ode to the simple pleasures of cupcakes and leisurely weekend afternoons, as they're already offering an uncensored version on their website, hoping to render obsolete the liberally bleeped clip originally broadcast on Saturday night that legions of fans have already let loose on the YouTubes. Above, we share the efforts of one resourceful YouTuber to set free NBC's unbleeped, schlong-positive version by streaming it onto a TV set and recording the result with a video camera; enjoy, knowing that we are probably only minutes away from a lame West Coast response to the video, "Cock in a KFC Bucket," courtesy of some publicity-hungry actors from recently canceled sitcoms.

• SNL: A Christmas Box Skit *Uncensored* No Bleeps! [YouTube]
• A Special Box (uncensored) [NBC.com]