Well word has reached me, from an incredibly reliable source - that you've settled on Brett Ratner as the director. With the work that Romanek, Baker and Benicio have done - I have no doubt that Brett will capture enough magic to assemble a trailer campaign that will sell the film. But you really need much more than a trailer. [...]

Brett Ratner makes watchable films. Movies that go through your system as if consumed off a soapy plate. They're empty - hollow works. He's a terrible ACTOR's director. His basement is a disco, and the Wolfman has no disco in his soul. This is a PERIOD film - to make a convincing period film you need a director for an eye for details... Someone that knows this world and period. X3 was a financial success - but that was based on an incredibly successful franchise by Singer. Ratner killed it. Made the WORST FILM OF THE SERIES - and Fox sold it brilliantly. Dare to make the great film. STOP. Find a different director... please.

With the production reportedly scheduled to begin in March, Universal's options must have been tragically limited, necessitating the choice of a director who's previously proven that even with precious little lead time, he can show up on set minutes before cameras are ready to roll and collect enough footage to produce one of his signature, incomprehensible masterworks that will go on to simultaneously break box office records and bring to an end any hopes of sustaining a franchise. And AICN shouldn't fret too much about this misconception that Ratner's not an "actor's director"; we're sure that after a last-minute pre-production party at Hillhaven Lodge's legendary disco, both Benicio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins will be more than willing to buy into their new helmer's program, impressed at the filmmaker's openness to the surprisingly insightful notes offered by the "script coordinators" providing their story-meeting lap-dances.

• UNIVERSAL - IF YOU LET RATNER DIRECT THE WOLF MAN YOU'LL DESERVE THE TURD YOU'LL END UP RELEASING ON SCREEN!!! [AICN]
• Previously: Mark Romanek Quits 'The Wolf Man' Over Creative Werewolf Differences [Defamer]

Tonight, CBS will air Bob Barker: A Celebration of 50 Years on Television, a tribute that will finally send the The Price Is Right legend into the gameshow host afterlife, where he will enjoy the attentions of 72 Barker's Beauties in an idyllic environment free of troubling sexual harassment lawsuits as his just reward for 35 years of dedicated service. While the network has yet to name Barker's successor, it seems that Rosie O'Donnell is renewing her public campaign for the job, undeterred by reports that the retiring host would sooner see an entire shelter full of abandoned pets have their neutering magically reversed than allow the skinny mic to be passed to O'Donnell. She's taken out a full-page suck-up ad in the trades today (above) inviting Barker to her Miami compound, where the two can enjoy a lazy day of Plinko (she's got her own full-size board), inverted yoga-swinging, and some casual conversation about her candidacy.

[Ad via DigiVariety]

• Previously: Rosie O'Donnell Long Dreamed Of Ruling Over Contestants' Row With An Iron Fist [Defamer]
• Soon, Bob Barker Will No Longer Have To Pretend That A Busty College Girl Bidding $1 On A Refrigerator Is The Cleverest Strategy He's Ever Heard [Defamer]