According to Us, Joshua is currently in the process of "learning how to do Katherine’s curlers…if you are wondering why my guitar sounds weird, it’s because I burnt my pinkie on the curlers." Burnt your pinkie? On a curling iron? Ok, it's one (admittedly sad) thing to have this happen to you, but it's another entirely to blab to US Weekly about it. If we were in his shoes, we would've made something up about burning it while barbequeing for the troops or, perhaps, during an intense freebasing sesh with Amy Winehouse. At this point, Joshua doesn't even need Katherine to emasculate him; he's doing just fine on his own, thankyouverymuch. Next thing we know, we'll be reading about how he suffered a nasty papercut while opening up a box of tampons. Joshua, at this point, there's only one way to save your ever-diminishing reputation. We've got two words for you. Cirque Lodge. Just ask Kirsten Dunst or Eva Mendes, they'll admit you in for just about anything, so long as your checks don't bounce.

[Photo credit: Flynet]

• HEIGL'S HUSBAND STANDS BY HIS WOMAN [MSNBC]

Katherine Heigl was front and center at [Joshua Kelley's] intimate gig. The Grey's Anatomy star sat with a girlfriend, and shouted out requests for songs.

Isn't that rich? Just two weeks removed from her very public show of non-support for the writers on Grey's, now she's showing up at Joshua's concerts thinking she's "Colonel" Tom Parker when she's really just Penny Lane. But then again, Joshua isn't really doing anything to help his case. The same People tipster reports Joshua not only inserted his cash cow bitchy blonde bride's name into several of his songs, but he also told a story on stage about how he "curled her hair" before that night's show.

While we're all for displays of affection that involve pampering (Kevin Costner painting Susan Sarandon's toenails in Bull Durham comes to mind), this is the kind of picture that makes us want to write our Congressperson to have them repeal some of our nation's privacy laws. Because if a paparazzo could legally climb on top of a garbage can to make his way into a tree near a window of Heigl's house (remember, it is her house) in order to capture a shot of Joshua removing curlers from Katherine's hair while she chain smokes Virginia Slims, then I think we'd all agree that our collective loss of privacy would be worth it. Totally worth it.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

• Caught In The Act! [People]

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Embattled Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl sent musician/husband Joshua Kelley on an embarrassing trip to the local super market for panty shields, two cartons of cigarettes, firecrackers, and the latest issue of Life & Style. In return, she decided to surprise him by appearing in a bikini when he got home. Now granted, the twosome recently came back from a vacation in Cancun, but Heigl felt that flashing a little skin might help make up for sending him on the mid-afternoon errand. Then, in the blink of an eye, Heigl whipped out her phone, called Joshua and barked something about also bringing back some Cuervo, too.

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

After her husky voice descends into a dramatic alto of self-aggrandizement after one too many autograph-seekers outstretch their plebeian arms in her direction, the enterprising TMZ cameraman begins lobbing a series of Emmy-related probes at Heigl. After one particular inquiry into whether or not she has had any post-Emmy dropout meetings with the team of writers on Grey's, Heigl's quizzically bitchy and entirely dismissive intonation of the word "writers" has to be heard to be believed.

As these pictures demonstrate, a few of Katherine's favorite things do not include raindrops on roses nor whiskers on kittens — they mainly involve using the useless guy (who gave her a ring she treasures far more than him) as a foot-rest, a shield to block her smoke exhalations, and one of those less attractive girlfriends celebrities enlist to co-analyze their body while asking, over and over, "So is my perfect rack perfect enough? Like is this nipple exactly where it should be? Yeah? Yeah, I know. Man am I tired of being right."

[Photo credits: Pacific Coast News]

• HEIGL JOINS WRITERS' GUILT OF AMERICA [TMZ]

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Before leaving on a trip to Cancun, musician Joshua Kelley attempted to coax his wife and Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl into not bashing the pilots of the private plane they rented. Kelley said, "Katie, if I can call you that, can you not talk about the pilots at all during the flight? Even if the flight is a total nightmare or if it's the best flight you've ever taken, let's just keep quiet." Heigl raised her hand as if she was about to make a great and extremely valid point, but instead nodded in agreement with her husband. Heigl said, "You're probably right. I mean, they could just turn the plane around or even parachute out. Then we'll be left to fly the plane ourselves. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if I could quickly get the hang of flying a plane, but it's probably for the best if we left it to the professionals." Joshua breathed a sigh of relief, but his triumph remained temporary when Katherine looked down at his feet and asked him, "Hey, are those my sandals you're wearing?"

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

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Zyzzyx Rd. star Katherine Heigl taunted husband/rocker Joshua Kelley about his first generation iPhone after Kelley complained about the slowness of the dreaded Edge network. Kelley had just taken a photo of a cool dog that he really wanted to post on his Flickr account, but it was taking too long. Instead, Kelley settled for updating his Twitter page. Heigl laughed and said, "Sucks to be an early adopter!" Kelley stopped and nearly began to pout before Heigl interceded and said, "Maybe for your birthday next year, you'll get an iPhone. Now, let's not pout because you already used the 'Josh Gets To Do Whatevs!' card when you left the house wearing cargo shorts. Okay, champ?"

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

"I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention," [Katherine Heigl] tells Gold Derby.

"In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials."

Well, isn't that rich? Just one year after her astounding Emmy win, Heigl has basically given the entire staff of Grey's a giant, nicotine-stained middle finger. While we give her publicist kudos for attempting to spin her client's disenchantment with her television career into some sort of pseudo-stand for the integrity of the Academy Of Television Arts & Sciences, we didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. This is a Master And Commander-esque cannonball shot at the writers and show-runners of Grey's for failing to give her enough scenery to chew this season. While we don't watch the show, O'Neil reports that "one of the few dramatic turns she had on the show this past season involved rescuing a deer that had caused a string of car accidents" (which, actually, sounds kind of hilarious). Call us crazy, but if Izzy doesn't pull a Dr. Doug Ross by the middle of next season and skedaddle the fuck out of Seattle Grace Hospital, we'll eat our hat and liveblog it for you all to watch.

[Photo credit: INF]

• KATHERINE HEIGL TO STAR IN 'ESCAPE' [Var]
• Emmy champ Katherine Heigl quits the race, blaming 'Grey's Anatomy' writers [Gold Derby]

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Before walking the red carpet at this weekend's Chrysalis Butterfly Ball, Knocked Up star Katherine Heigl had a brief pow-wow with her husband, musician Joshua Kelley. It was reported that Kelley pouted in the limo on the way to the event and that his gloomy mood was due to the fact that he had to 'Craiglist' his pit tickets for the Iron Maiden concert in order to attend this event with his wife. Since Heigl would not be able to smoke at the event, the absolute last thing she wanted to deal with was a husband who was going to singing "Take Your Daughter To The Slaughter" under his breath the whole night, so she brokered a deal with her husband in an attempt to salvage the evening. In exchange for his good behavior, Heigl would treat her husband to a delicious brunch at Griddle City (without any cigarette smoking during the meal!), a trip to Hobby City for RC Cars and a 21-plus screening of Sex And The City: The Movie at the Arclight. Kelley agreed, but under one condition: Heigl would have to buy him a really sweet and really awesome vintage Iron Maiden concert t-shirt. She accepted and the two lived happily ever after.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

"She's a smart one. She saw what [happened with] Jennifer Aniston, who was crazy successful on TV, but can't seem to carry a film, and she tested the waters early."

But Heigl's chances of fleeing the yawnfest that is Grey's and continuing her journey towards becoming "the next Julia Roberts" don't look good:

After only three seasons on then-mega hit Grey's, Heigl did make an early attempt to break out as a "real" actress on the big screen, and whether it was a case of pure luck or actual talent, Knocked Up turned her into a bankable hot commodity overnight. Then came 27 Dresses, which managed to rack up an impressive $23mm its opening weekend, coming in second to the highly anticipated Cloverfield. Interestingly enough, 27 has racked up $76mm to date, trailing the J.J. Abrams shitshow by only $4mm as of May 1st. Next on her plate is a pantsless role in 2009's The Ugly Truth, which co-stars B.O. superstar Gerard Butler. The only hitch regarding Heigl's promising movie career? As a source told MSNBC, "Heigl might be locked into Grey's a bit longer. 'I don't think she'll be able to get out of it.'" But we're talking about a woman capable of curing ADD sans medical license! We're not worried about Heigl's manipulative methods when it comes to getting her way.

[Photo credit: Splash]

• HEIGL LOOKING TO HANG UP HER 'GREY'S' SCRUBS? [MSNBC]

Though it's too early to tell how many carats Scarlett's rock has, we have read that Reynolds bought his former fiance, Alanis Morissette, a 3.75 carat rock.

Naturally, Katherine Heigl had her 3 carat ring designed herself rather than trusting her frequently emasculated husband Joshua Kelley pipe in with any kind of opinion. Mariah Carey's highly confusing recent engagement to Nick Cannon has resulted in the singer sporting a possibly recycled 15 (yikes!) pink and purple tacky thing, but if anyone can pull of giant gems it would be Mimi. And, of course, Jennifer Lopez, whose infamous $1.2 million pink diamond ring was ostentatiously flashed 'round the world, only to be sold off post-breakup.

While poor Carmen Electra's new rock from rocker Rob Patterson cost a mere $100k (for celebs, that's the equivalent of shopping at Jared), we think Patterson's eccentric choice of a black diamond suits Electra perfectly. As for knocked up Ashlee Simpson, her faux-punk rocker fiance Pete Wentz reportedly made sure to give Simpson a ring without those pesky "blood diamonds" Leonardo DiCaprio taught us all about in that boring movie of the same name.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, The Mirror]

• DEFAMER WEDDINGS: SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND RYAN REYNOLDS ENGAGED TO EACH OTHER [Defamer]

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The embattled 27 Dresses star has been looking to change her public persona from a chain-smoking emasculator (who occasionally gorges on the sweets) to the bright and smiley persona she so frequently portrays on television and in the movies. Heigl's first step is to start practicing Tai Chi on a daily basis, which friends told her might help her kick her smoking habit. Also, as she politely put it, practicing this ancient art should help "keep Joshua interested. He is a rock star, after all."

[Photo Credit: INF Daily ]

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This photograph of Katherine Heigl was taken after she received word that once again she was the punch line of a joke on gossip site. She then proceeded to eat all the sweets that the craft services table had to offer, including one quickly devoured Hostess cupcake. Reportedly, Heigl phoned her friend and asked why she would be the victim of constant attacks. "I'm a good person. I'm not perfect, but I'm a pretty decent person," Heigl was overheard saying. "Just ask Joshua."

[Photo Credit: INF]

While shooting a scene for The Ugly Truth with Gerard Butler, Katherine's character is reportedly ditched by her date outside a restaurant and, for some reason, isn't wearing anything below the waist at the time save for a pair of boy shorts. Though we haven't heard whether or not Heigl uses the opportunity to reenact everyone's favorite tighty whitie cameo perfected by Cruise when he was just a twinkle in Scientology's eye, we're admittedly impressed with Katherine's stems. With a body like that, we're officially more understanding of Kelley's willingness to be publicly emasculated time after time by his domineering wifey.

[Photo credits: Pacific Coast News via Daily Mail]

• BRIEF APPEARANCE: KATIE HEIGL CAUGHT WITH HER TROUSERS DOWN [Daily Mail]

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Katherine Heigl struck a gangster lean as she lit up another cigarette on the set of her new movie. Despite numerous tearful outbursts from her emasculated rocker hubby Joshua Kelley and the support of her Grey's co star TR Knight, she has not been able to kick the filthy habit. As Heigl reached for the nearest pack of American Spirits, she explained to an extra that if TR couldn't get her to quit, then what's the point?

[Photo Credit: INF]

"I was getting nowhere and I was super-confused. I was like, 'Hello? Do I have something hanging out of my nose? Why aren't you paying any attention to me?"

As we know by now, Heigl and Knight have since become the bestest of BFFs, but all that cutesy PDA they whimsically display at events now seems sad. All those kisses and hugs Heigl lavishes upon T.R. are now laced with the taint of unrequited love. Sadder still is how this news indirectly adds to the list of ways in which Katie has emasculated Josh "Call Me Joshua" Kelley. With no gaydar and an overwhelming desire to prove she wears the pants, Josh's manhood is in even graver danger of extinction.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

• KATH'S SHAME AT GAY BLUNDER [The Sun]

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Katherine Heigl was spotted out and about in Los Angeles wearing a gift from hubby Josh Kelley's mother. Heigl may have been all smiles in front of the cameras, but once the newlyweds got into the SUV, it was a whole other story. Kelley was reported to have been seen crying at the corner of Wilshire and Santa Monica Blvd after a tongue-lashing about Katherine's desire to not be photographed wearing Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

[Photo Credit: WENN]

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"Joshua" Kelley, the husband of Katherine Heigl, went out of his way to put an end to the rumors floating around The Internets that he's whipped. Kelley explained that rockers like him couldn't be whipped because, while on paper he might be married to Heigl, he's actually married the greatest woman of all time, music. "The last time I checked, polygamists aren't whipped," smirked Kelley. He then took a long swig from the water bottle under his arm, which didn't actually contain any water, but rather 20 ounces of Bacardi 151. Rockers!

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

"'When we first met, I could tell that my A.D.D. would definitely frustrate her a little bit...It's like, I would be drawing on paper tablecloths when I should have been engaging in conversation - little things like that. No one ever told me that before. Nobody ever cared. But she does. And I like that."

Ah yes, that's the Katie that we know and love loathe, the condescending, controlling, chain-smoking harpy who used her oppressive will to change Joshua from "being a boyish man to a man's man" (his words, not ours). As the interview continues, Joshua goes on to detail what domestic life is like at Casa Heigl (remember, it's HER house). Josh claims the two are simple homebodies who don't play into that whole Hollywood scene, instead preferring to "stay in, cook, watch Dexter, make music and paint." Sure sounds manly to us!

• JOSH KELLEY: MARRIAGE TO KATHERINE HEIGL IS 'UNBELIEVABLE' [People]

No offense to Chuck Grodin or Jim Henson — we here at Defamer HQ love ALL of the original films in the Muppet Trilogy (and own them all on DVD) — but we're not quite seeing the link between the robbery of the Baseball Diamond and the burglary of Joshua Kelley's GPS system. Whatever they're smokin' over there, we want some. Second, we know that Katherine loves her butts, but do you really have to fire up at the very moment you discover that your husband lost his precious Garmin? Lastly, and let us know if we're being too harsh here, but shouldn't have Katherine lent a helping hand to her man during his time of need? You know, rather than hanging out in the car, accepting compliments on your wedding bling from razzos and pounding cancer sticks?

• TMZ TV