As for the premiere, a circular black carpet started at the Bronson Gate, then rounded the lot's now-famous headless Statue of Liberty replica, where stars from the casts of Lost, The Office, Heroes, Entourage, the Star Trek movie, and various basic cable realitainments were on hand to lend the evening their B-level glow. And then there was Lindsay. Oop! We've already given away too much. Our amateurish-in-execution-but-pure-of-intention gallery is accessible here, or by clicking any of the thumbnails below.

• CloverfieldMovie.com

• Image Gallery: Hard

Last night's All Hallows Eve affair at Mr. T's Bowl (Highland Park) found apes commingling with world-famous born-again Christian stuntmen, mysterious tight-clad cartoon racers, cross-dressing David Crosby-alikes and Red-Shirted® She-Hulks sporting this season's ubiquitous Amy Winehousian hairpile, the live soundtrack to which was enhanced by a burlesque troupe from beyond the grave. Join us now as we take a very brief, pointed look behind our shoulder at a few key characters encountered during the night responsible for this morning's headache . . .

We just couldn't get enough of all things Britney this month, so Friday night we decided to head out to Steven Corfe and Thairin Smothers' Just Britney art exhibit opening party at the World of Wonder gallery in Hollywood. The list of attendees included legendary former New York club kid James St. James; Vincent Gallo, who decided he didn't want his picture taken but offered to take a picture of us instead ("Why do you want my picture, I'm just an old man," said he); working supermodel RuPaul, as well as snot-nosed YouTube sensation Leave Britney Alone Guy. The show featured glorious pieces commemorating the troubled singer, like Jason Kronenwald's Gum Blond XLVIII, which was made up entirely of chewed up bubble gum, and Jamie Boling's Snake Charmer, the infamous painting deemed too hot (or controversial) for Barack Obama's eyes.

• Just Britney Art Show [WOW TV]

Authors, artists and socialites mingled at Rico Garcia Fine Art Gallery in Costa Mesa, for Saturday night's opening of Peter Harper's Art Exhibit and the California debut of Danny DeVito's Limoncello. We made a bee-line for the bar (purely for the sake of investigative journalism), anxious to taste the drink responsible for DeVito's nationally televised hangover. The bartender warned us it had a kick but we didn't know how much until minutes later, when the room began to spin. We chatted up Peter Harper for a bit and spoke about his brothers—Grammy award winner Ben Harper and author Joel Harper. It was a magical evening, but our pounding hangovers the next morning made us grateful we didn't have to sit down with Barbara Walters and the girls for a nationally televised chat.

• [Rico Garcia Fine Art]
• [Peter Harper Art]

It's hard to remain a virgin in Hollywood. Lucky for us there is the Hollywood Youth Group's Hollywood Father/Daughter Purity Ball, a support group for young ladies to pledge their virginity to daddy while at the same time getting ogled by Reverend Bill Maher. The night consisted of host Terry Pilsner from Aurora, Illinois hurling insults at his portly wife, forcing his pre-teen daughters to participate in a father-daughter dating game, and calling out the sins of the blacks and the homosexuals, like any good Evangelical. The highlights of the night were the evangelical rants of Reverend Bill Maher, who compared young daughters to "unstained" Maseratis, supportively offering, "Please call me at any hour of the night and together, we can find a solution!"

• [hollywoodpurityball.com]

Midget chickens, bloody wrestlers and boobies made up just some of the visual extravaganza that was Lucha VaVoom Thursday night at the Mayan. Guest photographer Maggie Serrano captured the event—Dirty Sanchez strutting his, ahem, mustaches around the ring and the Crazy Chickens, who brought along a disturbing, hairless mini chicken to help with the tag teams. A crowd favorite was Cassandro, whose hardcore scare tactic consisted of kissing other male wrestlers on the lips. (Best overheard comment: "You know, Cassandro bears an uncanny resemblance to Tony Curtis in 'Some Like it Hot!'") At another match, poor Chupacabra ended up face down and bloody outside of the ring, leading the announcer to cry out "Clap if you believe in Chupacabra!" Several audience members then headed to Shepard Fairey and DJ Pubes' Dance Right party at La Cita, where scenesters-in-the-know gloated to anyone who listened that, "Yes, we saw midget wrestlers, tassled goth-boobies, and Spandexed man-on-man action."

• [Lucha VaVoom]
• Previously: L.A. Derby Dolls At The Industry Hills Expo Center [Defamer]

This past Saturday, I took a trip to the land where no westsider wants to accidentally wander into late at night, the Industry Hills Expo Center in the City of Industry, to catch roller girls in short skirts duke it out for the L.A. Derby Dolls Present: Fight Crew vs. Sirens game. The Babydoll rally was up first, with derby rookies Double D and Long Island Lolita stumbling through their first game. If Double D's mangled ankle was any indicator of the impending game, we knew we were in for a bloody treat. Then, when veterans like Mila Minute, Killo Kitty, Judy Gloom, Crystal Deth, Scarlett Yohandsoff and Paris Killton took the track, any girlie façade was stomped out by shoving, yelling, and pushing each other off track. The highlight of the night was the shoving match between P.I.T.A and Broadzilla, and penalty-riddled captain Tara Armov getting kicked off the game (too many elbows to her opponents' eyes perhaps?). By the end of the night, their estrogen-fueled rage seemed to have rubbed off on me, as I angrily leered at the annoying 12-year-old who stole our free Derby Dolls seat cushions. The Sirens ended up winning the championship and we left with no seat cushions but new names: From now on, I will be known only as Ima. Ima Killa.

• [L.A. Derby Dolls]
• Previously: The 'Golden Gals Gone Wild' Opening At The World of Wonder Gallery [Defamer]

• Previously: A Taste Of The Junction [Defamer]

The freaks, geeks, and random old dudes in drag were out in droves Saturday night at curator Lenora Claire's "Golden Gals Gone Wild" opening night party at the World of Wonder gallery in Hollywood. It was a strange night, where cross dressers mingled with Goths, random hipsters and even the token Hollywood personality. Take leather-and-mesh-clad Kim Fowley, for instance: 70's rock star impresario and creator of The Runaways; Giovanni Ribisi; Elizabeth Daily ("I'm a loner, Dottie, a Rebel"), Mean Girls' Daniel Franzese. The art was just as...shall we say...eclectic, flying in the face of the sanctity that is Sophia Petrillo, with pieces showing her in the glory that is naked old lady flesh. Other works included Gestapo Rose and Betty White Power, Blanche Devereaux in a confederate flag bikini; Dorothy going spreadeagle and showing us the nooks behind her, um, grannies. I bet somewhere, a little town called St. Olaf is collectively gasping...

• Previously: The Reeducation of Dorothy Zbornak [Defamer]

If you're wondering why all the hardware stores in LA were sold out of electrical tape, it's because much of it was stuck to the nipples of the models at the Captivity premiere party last night. That's right, I was lucky enough to be on the list for this little shindig at Privilege, and I was curious if After Dark CEO Courtney Solomon could deliver on his New York Times promise to throw the most outrageous bash ever. So did he? In a word, no. The whole thing gave off a distinctly opening-credits-of-Mindfreak vibe, with plenty of leather and piercing to go around. But it came off as silly and forced, not dark and scary. Consider these ghastly delights:

* One girl was chained to a spinning table while another girl pretended to whip her. Shocking!

* Suicide Girls roamed the party wearing little besides the aforementioned electrical tape. My delicate sensibilities!

* Greased-up Bikini clad ladies wrestled each other. Oh, the horror!

* A "needle play" booth, where some guy stuck pointed quills into the backs of willing victims. Mildly disturbing!

* Dave Navarro wearing a tight tanktop. Okay, that actually was scary.

The best part of the evening was watching all the open-collared agent/producer types try to hit on the Goth chicks. I've never seen so many Bluetooth headsets and leather corsets in one place.

However, the most-asked question of the night: Where were the celebs? The biggest star there was the fat guy from Borat. You know things aren't going well when the Bai Lings and Traci Binghams of the world don't show up to your party. Elisha Cuthbert couldn't even be bothered to attend, and she's the freakin' star of the movie!

But so what if the Captivity party wasn't the Grand Guignol display everyone had hoped for? There was still an open bar and girls with electrical tape on their boobies. I, for one, will take what I can get.

• Previously: 'Captivity': The Predictably Outrageous Premiere Party [Defamer]