Gawker: defamer, defamer mysteries

Who Drove His Car Into The Playboy Mansion Gates Twice?

Seth — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Twice this week, a man has driven his car into the gates of Hugh Hefner's estate—more commonly known as the Playboy Mansion—in Holmby Hills. The LAPD is not being forthcoming with details, saying only it has something to do with an "ongoing dispute." We've rounded up the possible suspects after the jump:

Jason Statham: He was escorted recently by five security guards off the property after he refused to pose for pictures at the Midsummer's Night Dream Party. The last thing anyone heard him say was, "I'll be back to bulldoze the Grotto, you wankers!"
Ben Affleck: New to the neighborhood, he could have easily flown into a rage when Girl Next Door Bridget Marquardt rang their doorbell to ask Jennifer Garner if she could "spare a cub of lube."
Pauly Shore: Just 'cause.
Hector Jimenez: Disgruntled groundskeeper.
Anna Faris in a moustache disguise: Because she is starring in a movie about a Playboy Bunny, and this is tangentially related and therefore humorous. Also, she's a notorious road-rager.

Feel free to add more to the lineup in the comments, you Encyclopedia Browns and Nancy Drews, you!

Man rams into Playboy Mansion gates — twice [MSNBC]

Who Tricked 'ET' Into Thinking Angelina Jolie Gave Birth?

Seth — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:30:00 EDT

So how does a reliable wombsource like Entertainment Tonight get a story as important as Angelina Jolie's impending delivery so wrong, they become the laughingstock of the entire celebrity-birth-exclusives circuit? In the days since misreporting that Jolie had birthed twin girls named Isla and Amelie, the entire company has been subjected to a non-stop barrage of finger pointing and snickers. But how could they have made such a gaffe? Jossip explains how the disgraced celebrity news outlet was played by a savvy assistant impostor:

Jossip hears that somebody has been impersonating Angelina's assistant Holly Goline, using a fake BlackBerry email address and sending erroneous reports to the press. Jolie's attorneys at cease-and-desist happy firm Lavely & Singer are said to be circulating a letter among entertainment outlets explaining the situation.

And the worst part? This impostor has been sending fake information to the media for the past year. Time to start counting up all those outrageously untrue items!
Says the letter:

"A random individual has engaged in a scheme to intentionally harm my client and deceive her fans, the public and the media through illegal and tortuous impersonation of Ms Jolie's long-time assistant, Holly.

"The individual who claims to be, and to whom the media has relied upon as, a 'reliable source' is not my client's assistant, nor does the email address belong to my client's assistant."

With the how now in hand, we're left with an even greater mystery: the who. Who could be responsible for a tortuous impersonation of Jolie, the hugely admired proprietor of one of the most extensive orphan-collections on Earth? For that answer, one need only rearrange the letters of the hoaxster's pseudonym, Holly Goline, to form the anagrammatic phrase, "Hill: Ego Only." Clearly, this is the work of Barack Obama.*

*Failing that, we blame Iggy.

Angelina Jolie's Fake Assistant Lied About Her Giving Birth [Jossip]

Come to think of it, what is up with that...

Seth — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:17:16 EST

Come to think of it, what is up with that house at the corner of Fountain and McCadden with all the "No Trespassing" signs and razorwire? Curbed LA's commenters have some very interesting theories: Is it a pot-grow room? A meth lab? Biff's grandma's house in Back to the Future: Part 2? We want answers! (So long as it doesn't involve some toothless guy storming out the front door with a double-barrel shotgun, and a personal credo of "shoot first, ask questions later," which it probably does, so never mind.) [Curbed LA]