"After several great years together my last assistant and I have decided to date, thus making a professional relationship a conflict of interest. Be aware that this could be a temporary position if things do not work out between the two of us. All the standard prerequisites apply, positive attitude, promptness, attention to detail, good hygiene and strong fashion sense a MUST."

More gratifying household chores responsibilities — and your guesses as to the aid-boffing boss's identity — follow after the jump.

Of course you'll be expected to perform all the usual call-rolling, filing and calendar coordination duties, but the ideal candidate will have additional tolerance for an even wider range of soul-coarsening degradation:

Other duties that may be asked of you from time to time are:
Personal shopping (i.e. belts)
Cooking- experience with liquidarian preparation preferred but not required
Pet management (I live in a ranch style home in the Hollywood hills so hope you like horses, dogs, and a prize winning show peacock) may be asked of you from time to time but not part of your regular duties

So! We have a belt-wearing liquidarian with a handsome peacock (unless that slyly refers to either an NBC dance show we don't yet know about or... well, never mind). That should be easy enough to suss, right? Help us help you.

• Assistant Needed for High Ranking Staffer on Hit Dance Reality Show [Craigslist via WYBM]

Be a willing ear to listen to Artist new creative developments while creating new music projects as well as helping Artist to prepare for movie auditions; including script readings, internet research and shopping for audition wardrobe. ...

Oversee the maintenance and upkeep of multiple residences as well as Artist Automobile(s).

Must be comfortable navigating throughout the Los Angeles Area with the ability to give directions including short cuts. ...

Must be professional, ethical, reliable, organized and multi-task oriented. Confidentiality, discretion, diplomacy and resourcefulness are imperative as is a positive attitude. You should naturally possess a nurturing, compassionate and very personable disposition. Be comfortable as a caregiver with some natural instincts. Nothing over-bearing, just the basics. ...

Know when to have a laid back approach/personality; observing when the Artist is in a creative mode as well as when to assert yourself when on the road and handling business.

Naturally we wonder which industry dynamo requires a college-educated slave simply to read GPS data and take the Mercedes over to Jiffy Lube. That said, $50K per year seems like a small price to pay for an assistant with the "natural instincts" for caregiving and "observing" when the capital-A Artist is in a "creative mode." At least there's some traveling involved; bone up on your state-fair concert circuit and we expect you'll be light years ahead of the game come interview time.

• Celebrity Personal Assistant [Craigslist]