He'll receive NO upfront cash and NO first-dollar gross. So Carrey won't get his standard $20M plus 20% (and in some cases $25M — but that was before he and his projects began to crash and burn). Instead, Jim has a cash-break deal in theory of at most 36.2% on the back end — which in reality may turn out to be a lot less.

That's right, CASH BREAK, which as everyone knows is just one step up from net profits and often referred to as "real net" as a result. But that 36.2% starts to drop like this month's Dow Jones average if Yes Man's cost doesn't top out at $70 million and its P&A doesn't max out at $50 mil. If more bucks than that are spent, then Carrey has to approve the overages otherwise his payday gets smaller even with pure video (explanation: a percentage of 100% of video and DVD sales). I told you this deal was weird: the actor is about to have all the headaches of a producer without the title or the guaranteed paycheck. [...]

"This is a deal you make with someone who's star has fallen," a studio source told me tonight. Which is why I've learned that Warner Bros execs were privately patting themselves on the back for coming up with it and then dancing in the hallways when Carrey's reps finally went for it.

It's certainly not too difficult to imagine those shrewd Warner Bros. suits exchanging a round of high fives and bragging that once their accountants get through with moving some money around, Carrey's going to owe the production for all the craft service he ate on the shoot. However, it's also possible that he and his reps are confident that they're smarter than everyone, and that successfully reuniting the onetime superstar with the same kind of high-concept crap will make those execs wish they had never closed negotiations by saying, "You tell that washed-up ass-yodeler that he'll take whatever we offer him, and he should feel lucky to get it."

• The Worst Talent Deal Ever? [DHD]

· OPRAH: $260 million per year (includes what she earns from Rachael Ray, Dr. Phil, and other programs) · SIMON COWELL: $45 million per year (for American Idol and other projects) · JUDGE JUDY: $30 million per year · KATIE COURIC: $15 million per year · ZACH BRAFF: $6.3 million (for 18 episodes of Scrubs next season)

After the jump, more lists of the staggering sums being lavished upon the stars of popular sitcoms, widely franchised police procedurals, and daytime perversions of small-claims-court justice. Enjoy:

NETWORK PRIME TIME (all salaries are per episode) William Petersen (CSI): $500,000 Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men): $350,000 Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU): $350,000 Chris Meloni (Law & Order: SVU): $350,000 Hugh Laurie (House): $300,000 Julia Louis-Dreyfus (New Adventures of Old Christine): $225,000 Ellen Pompeo (Grey's Anatomy): $200,000 Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives): $200,000 Jeff Foxworthy (Are You Smarter Than...): $150,000 T.R. Knight (Grey's Anatomy): $125,000 Chandra Wilson (Grey's Anatomy): $125,000 Sally Field (Brothers & Sisters): $100,000

CABLE (all salaries are per episode)
Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer): $250,000
Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck): $125,000
Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck): $125,000
Joely Richardson (Nip/Tuck): $90,000
James Roday (Psych): $60,000

DAYTIME
Judge Judy (per year): $30 million
Bob Barker (per year): $10 million
Maury Povich (per year plus profit participation): $7 million
Ellen DeGeneres (per year): $5 million
Jerry Springer (per year): $3 million - 4 million
Tyra Banks (per year): $3.5 million

• TVGuide.com