Here's a roundup of the Great Pretenders (with one reality check thrown in at the end):

“The best thing is that it was my best friend from New York who called and told me. She was so happy, she was crying and I’m like, ‘What has happened?”
— Marisa Tomei, supporting actress, The Wrestler

“It’s delightfully surprising. I had no expectations. A very close friend called me, as I had no idea it was televised."
— Melissa Leo, actress, Frozen River

“It’s weird, a big surprise. You learn not to have expectations. My son-in-law called and then the phone started ringing."
— Richard Jenkins, actor, The Visitor

“I was at a midnight screening last night here at Sundance and was up until 3 a.m. I was sound asleep and then a little shell-shocked when the calls started coming in."
— Michael Shannon, supporting actor, Revolutionary Road

“I was sleeping, because that’s my technique, and I just got it on my phone when I turned it on.”
— Gus Van Sant, director, Milk

“I was awoken by the news. I’m in New York, but a late riser.”
— Martin McDonagh, original screenplay, In Bruges

"I'm a nocturnal worker so because of that I go to sleep with all my phones turned off. I saw a text message saying `congratulations' and I wrote back asking `for what?' True to form for me, I thought the Oscar nominations were tomorrow.''
— Danny Elfman, original score, Milk

"Why wouldn't I be good? Anybody who tells you they were sleeping is a liar."
— Eric Roth, adapted screenplay, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

• Reactions from the Oscar nominees [THR]

• Reactions to the Oscar nominations [Variety]

Our first instinct was to disbelieve the story; after all, virtually every profile we've ever read of Hathaway mentions how carefully and professionally she answers questions, concerned that her quotes will be taken out of context. Had Hathaway been emboldened after her split with boyfriend Raffaello Follieri, or was someone putting naughty words in her mouth?

Turns out, it's the latter. We contacted Esquire for comment, and spokesperson Rhett Usry was shocked by the rumor. "Absolutely not true," he told us. "There is no interview with Anne Hathaway at all in the upcoming issue of Esquire."

So where did the story originate? All signs point to this September 12 posting on Celeb.Dump, a photo-laden blog promising "Sexy Celebrity Pictures With Little To No Bullshit" (and headlines like "Stacy Keibler is so very hot" and "Jessica Simpson touching herself"). "Thanks to Miss M. from Esquire for letting me know" about the rumor, said the poster (who declined our repeated requests to comment on his tip).

As for how this obscure bit of gossip hit the big time, we're betting it's due to a potent mix of wishful thinking, Hathaway's Rachel Getting Married press tour, and lingering conflation of the actress with Brokeback Mountain. Either that, or Follieri's got an axe to grind. Memo to Celeb.Dump: if your "source" claims to be Esquire's liaison to the Vatican, it may be time to place some calls.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Anne Hathaway Loves Anal Sex [Celeb.Dump]

Rumors have been swirling this morning that rapresario Jay-Z (aka Shawn Carter) was in a plane crash this morning. TMZ has confirmed that a small plane registered to a citizen of Dublin, GA crashed near Asheville, NC in the Smoky Mountains. The FAA tells TMZ that the four-seat propeller plane did go down this morning, but could not provide any additional details.

But just minutes later, that rumor was promptly unswirled:

UPDATE: TMZ has confirmed that Jay-Z WAS NOT aboard the plane. The three aboard the plane were white men.

We apologize if this brief moment of panic curtailed your Feel-Good Friday, and now return you to basking in the warm glow of Mandy Moore's new-found self-confidence.

• Jay-Z in a Plane Crash— NOT TRUE [TMZ.com]

Los Angeles — Actor Will Ferrell accidentally died in a freak para-gliding accident yesterday in Torey Pines, Southern California. The accident apparently happened somewhere near the famed paragliding site after a freak wind gush basically blew Ferrell and his companion towards a wooded area where they lost control before crashing into the dense foilage.

Ferrell and his professional guide, Horacio Gomez of Airtek Paragliding Center attempted the jump at around 2 in the afternoon. According to witnesses, the conditions were basically ideal for para-gliding and the weather did'nt pose a problem at all.

That's just the first two paragraphs, but we think you get the idea. To reiterate: Will Ferrell isn't dead.

And if the overall lack of craft (even by often subliterate press release standards) still doesn't have you convinced of the fakery, fans of Ferrell might remember that his funeral-haunting character in Wedding Crashers mocks a hang-gliding accident, an irony that would be too obvious for even the most malevolent of gods to inflict on Hollywood.

• Actor Will Ferrell Dies in Paragliding Accident [i-Newswire.com]