Gawker: defamer, deanna pappas

'Bachelorette' DeAnna Pappas Calls Off Wedding To Snowboarder Of Her Dreams

Seth — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:32:58 EST

We'd only just begun to recover from the news that Lamas Family Acting Dynasty scion Shayne Lamas had ended her arranged marriage to British Bachelor guy—a decision followed by a downward spiral of public bum-flashings and belt-chewing for the young, single actress. Now comes news that yet another of the series's pairings—that of onetime gazebo rejectee turned manhungry shopping-spree winner DeAnna Pappas to snowboard instructor Jesse Csincsak—has come undone:

I really felt like I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I thought he was my fairy-tale ending" DeAnna tells In Touch. "But after the show was over and we settled in to our normal lives, I slowly came to realize that we are two totally different people and it wasn't going to work out."

But DeAnna, who's going to donate her engagement ring to charity, isn't totally turning her back on love. "I still believe in love," she says. "More than anything, I want to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with," she adds.

We're wondering what to believe anymore, as if ever we believed in someone's promise of "many years of whip creamy cheesecake" together, it was Jesse's heartfelt pledge to DeAnna following the final-rose distribution. Still, we're heartened Pappas has not yet "turned her back on love," and we're committed to joining her on her search for The One, as many reality shows as it takes.

In Touch Exclusive: The Bachelorette's DeAnna Pappas calls off her engagement [In Style]

DeAnna Pappas: 'Your The One'

Seth — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:10:00 EDT

They say that every soul has their One out there somewhere—and after a false start that left her hunched over and coughing up blood on her Gazebo of Broken Dreams, DeAnna Pappas finally found hers last night on The Bachelorette's season finale. And who, we ask, is more deserving of legitimate and lasting happiness, having submitted herself to not one but two six-week-long cattle-call searches for true love? No one! Learn who DeAnna chose—the very same fellow who scribbled that spell-unchecked grocery list of proposal talking points above—after the jump!

It was a two-hour nail-biter (followed by an After the Final Rose, "Yes, I totally married the guy in the pink shoelaces—isn't that hilarious?! That's how much I really love this person for all of eternity! I saw past those really gay shoelaces!" tell-all) that delivered ABC the highest ratings of the night. In it, Pappas had her two final suitors join her on a trip back to Georgia to meet her parents—on the one hand fun-loving snowboarder Jesse, on the other hand, kindly single dad Jason, and on the third hand, Pappas herself, trying to keep track of who she was at any given moment. Ultimately, she chose the guy lugging the winter sporting equipment, not the the baby carrier, as her One; to the visible dismay of Pappas's father, the two TV lovebirds managed to pull away from their mutual tractor-beam gaze long enough to inform a cooing studio audience of their plans to marry in May of next year.

The Bachelorette [ABC]
Your the one [Evil Queen Magda]

Morning Show Team Stunned Silent By 'Bachelorette' DeAnna Pappas's Astonishing Dumbness

Seth — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:45:00 EDT

At long last, The Bachelorette—that epic, six-week-long search for eternal love in which inarticulate Mediterranean beauty DeAnna Pappas is made to choose a suitable lifemate from a man-harem of 25—reaches its chilling conclusion tonight on ABC. Stopping by the GMA studios to show off her sparkly new hardware for a visibly envious Chris Cuomo, Pappas explained the difficult-to-grasp concept of having to choose between "two totally different people. You got one guy on one hand, and another guy on another hand, and I'm two totally different people with each guy." This suggests that Pappas is the relationship equivalent of tofu, her spongy personality absorbing the flavors of any man with which she comes in contact. Somewhere, Brad Womack is breathing a sigh of relief that he ditched this chick at the Fantasy Proposal Gazebo, and chose instead to hold out for some hot, Serbian supermodel ass like his tire-fortune-heir predecessor.

The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette Is Even Dumber Than We Ever Imagined

Seth — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:10:00 EDT

· The Bachelorette producers must hate DeAnna Pappas. That's the only reason we can come up for airing this gag reel that reveals her softer belching and English-butchering sides. [The Bachelorette]
· Goldenfiddle compiles some of the best Wanted bad reviews into one hilariously satisfying read. [Goldenfiddle]
· This wound itself around the internets late last week—Jezebel ran a full transcript—but in case you haven't yet heard it, we now proudly present: The Douchiest Phone Message In History. (By the way, we have the perfect backup-Olga for you, Dmitri: DeAnna! She's Greek, too!) [Holytaco]
· The familiar punim of Rastajewian superstar Rogen graces the new Pineapple Express one-sheets. [TrailerAddict.com]
· And finally, we turn to the only man who can properly assess the Bear Freaking A Tree video currently eating the web alive: Defamer editor-at-large, Mark Lisanti. "Oh, my naive little friend: Clearly, once properly aroused by massaging his back on the tree, he's unleashing the full fury of his engorged bearcock on a quivering knothole. Sure, the splinters are a bitch, but such is the price of ursine erotic satsifaction." [Lisanti Quarterly]

DeAnna Pappas Samples The 'Bachelorette' Man Platter

Seth — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:35:00 EDT

Faced with the dilemma of a lifetime last night—or, rather, six months of contractual P.D.A.s before an In Touch exclusive declares their televised romance to be over—The Bachelorette's DeAnna Pappas had to winnow down her remaining pool of recreational soulmates by one. But which one? Each of the final three was jetted off to the Bahamas for the shared-date they've surely always dreamed of. As the lapping waves beckoned in the distance—offering the promise of a slow but sweet watery escape from the constant droning of Pappas's voice—they were presented with an engraved invitation from host Chris Harrison to join the prize in a designated "Fantasy Suite." (Think of it as an ultra-softcore, petal-strewn sex-dungeon, where Pappas could sample the goods and decide with whom she most feels a ribbed connection.)

In the clip above, Pappas spends the requisite amount of time necessary to ensure professional snowboarder Jesse was fully prepared to give up snowboarding at the drop of a touque should she ask that of him. Satisfied that he would, he was then presented with his Fantasy Suite All-Access Lift Pass—a mere formality before that evening's marathon session of naked shredding was to begin. But that Jesse—he's a pip! Click play to see what it was he did that instantly drained all the color from Pappas's face, and led her to declare, "Oh no. I don't think you understand how this works, little man. I invite you to the Fantasy Suite—you accept. Re-read the contract if you must. Now I'm going to leave this table, head upstairs, and leave the door unlocked. If you do not slip into the room five minutes later—completely naked and fully prepared to rock my reality-whoring world—then prepare to lose everything you hold dear. Your parents. Your precious 'snowboarding.' Your little sports-agenting fantasy that doesn't have a hope in Hell of coming to pass. Do you understand me? Am I understood? Very well. See you upstairs."

The Bachelorette