And it's not like rookie distributor Variance Films didn't have a trailer (follow the jump), a decent cast (Liv Tyler, Dax Shepard, Mike White) or even a fun poster to market. So what happened?

Part of it is Keaton's own fault. After a tandem comprising Something's Gotta Give (her most recent Oscar-nominated role) and The Family Stone, Keaton has coasted chronically through paycheck after paycheck. We'd seen hints as recently as 2001, when her mob comedy Plan B went straight to video, but her reputation as a selective stateswoman of American cinema slid for real with Because I Said So and the heist flick Mad Money. They combined for $62 million domestically but were generally reviled as beneath their star. And they were beneath Keaton; The Family Stone wasn't going to make anyone forget Annie Hall as a whole, but as late-career matriarch roles go, she was as good as she'd ever been.

Then came the DVD- (and hell-) ready Mama's Boy, co-starring Jon Heder and essentially remade as Smother with a date-movie-palatability quotient bumped up. Neither found traction with critics, but Variance didn't bother with press or preview screenings at all. That settled it for critics, with Ebert-thwacking indie grump Lou Lumenick positing "Diane Keaton Scrapes the Barrel" and another reviewer asking: "Does Diane Keaton owe some loan sharks a considerable amount of cash? Are there incriminating photos of her that she’s insistent never see the light of day?" We wouldn't rule it out.

And the thing is, she's still so smart and funny and beautiful — too much so for all of this. Smother, Diane? Really? The optimist in us has to move ahead assuming it's a rough patch, but so help us, if we her selling credit reports in a miniskirt on Pimp Ed McMahon's arm, we'll come save her ourselves. This is serious.

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Baby Mama star Dax Shepard and gal pal Kristen Bell did all that was humanly possible to avoid being photographed in a dirty car while out to dinner in the Los Feliz area. According to spies at the restaurant, Shepard talked endlessly about how he should've gotten a car wash earlier in the afternoon or about how he should've parked his car in a covered garage before going away for a few weeks. Bell assured her boyfriend that it was okay; she calmly rationalized the situation by explaining that, first of all, it never rains in May in Southern California. Secondly, everybody else's car probably looks dirty, too. However, Bell's pep talk was quickly forgotten when she left the restaurant and realized that the car was way dirtier than she remembered. Adding insult to injury, the duo was unable to successfully petition the paparazzi not to take their picture, and observers remarked that they're likely end up in the "Celebrities, They're Just Like Us ... Only Dirtier!" section of this week's US Weekly.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

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Arrested Development star Will Arnett played the unscripted role of "Peeping Tom" on the set of When In Rome when he watched his co-stars (and real life couple) Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard get a little cozy in-between takes. The couple paused for a moment and asked why Arnett was watching. Arnett pondered for a moment and then explained that his wife is pregnant and that this is the closet he's going to get to some hot action for a while. Shepard said that it was cool with him if Arnett watched, yet Bell seemed a bit hesitant. After a brief discussion of guidelines and rules, Arnett was officially allowed to watch. However, it quickly came to an end after Arnett shouted "With Club Sauce!" for the sixteenth time in the span of three minutes.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

In today's installment: Russell Crowe, Drew Barrymore, Kiefer Sutherland, Teri Hatcher, Matthew Perry, Chris "Mr. Big" Noth, Chrissie Hynde, Jemaine "Flight Of The Conchords" Clement, Mindy Kaling, Samantha Mathis (with Keith Carradine!), Werner Herzog, Dax Shepard (with Bradley Cooper!), Cedric Yarbrough and Professor Cornell West.

APRIL 10
· Another Matthew Perry Trivia sighting at Barney's Beanery in Pasadena on Thursday. His team of 4, "Dos Dedos", only contained one dressed-up young lady this time, and most likely took first right in front of the antagonistically-named "Bing's Bingers". I say "most likely" because I left before they announced my losing score...

APRIL 11
· Standing in line with all the middle aged punkers at the X reunion show at the Henry Fonda Theatre was Chrissie Hynde...She looked great and didn't look like she's had any work done...couldn't believe she had to wait in line with the rest of us!

APRIL 12
· Drew Barrymore was at the Derby Dolls roller derby on Saturday night April 12th. Here is some photographic evidence.

· I was having lunch at Cafe '50's in Sherman Oaks around 1pm. I couldn't help but notice that every 10 minutes or so, a group of girls ages 7-12 (?) wearing colored bandanas (different colored than the last group, not different colored from each other) with an assigned parent or guardian would come in and have their photo taken by the jukebox (I heard one mother saying it was a scavenger hunt). After 2 or so waves of bandana-wearing tots, Teri Hatcher came in leading the Pink Bandana group. She wasn't wearing much makeup and politely asked for the someone to take the group's photo (that's a switch) by the jukebox. Then they were off, presumably to find 12 bottlecaps or some such that was next on the scavenger list.

APRIL 13
· Russell Crowe with his wife and boys strolling around the Century City mall on Sunday afternoon. They looked like every other family suffering from heat exhaustion.

· Mindy Kaling from The Office having a brunch at Joan's on Third. Met up with some (nonfamous) friends, looked cute and casual, drives an adorable Mini Cooper.

APRIL 14
· Samantha Mathis and Keith Carradine (don't think they were together but stranger pairings have happened in this town) at the Arclight on Monday night. I assume they were there for the special screening that little me wasn't invited to because I didn't see them at my screening of The Visitor. Just before the movie, as I was exiting the ladies room I passed Carradine entering the men's room undoing his pants several feet before the doorway. Note to guys: ick.

· Today at approx. 5:00 PM at the Starbucks in Dana Point, Chris Noth and his girlfriend walked into my Starbucks and ordered a drink. Chris ordered a Chai Tea Latte and his girlfriend had a chop chop pasta salad. They were not with the baby. His girlfriend seemed very very nice. She actually asked for a fork from me and I told her where they were but we were out so I went to the back to get some and brought back one to her and handed it to her and she said thank you and was very nice about it. However, Chris was sort of a dick. Not really a dick to me but a total dick to his girlfriend. Anyways, I thought this was a notable celebrity sighting..

APRIL 16
· could have sworn i saw Jack Bauer at Dan's Subs in the Valley. He even had the arm tats, looked great clean shaven ...he was not with the woman from ny. He had his arm wrapped around a different raven haven hair chic. Much more busty and shorter. at one point he called her Janet (or maybe Janice). He was very happy and relaxed.

· Today at the Koo Koo Roo on Wilshire I saw Cedric Yarbrough, Jonesie from Reno 911. He was hanging out by himself eating lunch listening to something on his earphones. I don't want to say anything bad about him being there or being lame or anything like that because I LOVE Reno 911 and my boyfriend doesn't, so there.

· Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords waiting to cross Los Feliz Boulevard at Hillhurst. Had to look twice because, although that block of the street is not so lousy with hipsters, Clement was blending in with his surroundings. Is he staying in one of the big-ass apartment buildings on the north side of Los Feliz?

APRIL 17
· Saw Werner Herzog at Hollywood Video on Westwood Blvd. ask the clerk if they had a used copy of 'Jungle 2 Jungle' on VHS. [Ed. Note - Really?]

APRIL 18
· Odd couple Dax Shepard & Bradley Cooper (Nip/Tuck, Wedding Crashers) at Katsuya in Studio City.

APRIL 19
· Toast on 3rd Street, today. Was putting my name on the host's list, when I saw an older man in a black suit out of the corner of my eye. I told my friend, "Huh, that orthodox dude looks like Cornell West." And It WAS Cornell West! He was having lunch with a more casually attired Tavis Smiley. The PBS whore in me was totally freaking out.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

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B-list favorite Tom Arnold seemingly appeared out of nowhere and joined Veronica Mars star Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard on a hike in Griffith Park on Thursday. Arnold who appeared to be extremely excited to be hanging out with the guy from Punk'd, applied the "I'm famous, you're famous, so we're automatically besties" rule to the twosome. The young couple simply shrugged their shoulders and allowed Arnold to tag along, but they quickly regretted the decision as Arnold launched into a fifteen-minute diatribe about the pitfalls of network television and "the good ole days." Then Arnold asked if Bell could set up a meeting between him and Judd Apatow.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

· Tony Scott's remake of 1970s subway-hijacking classic The Taking of Pelham One Two Three gets more then just a digitized-title upgrade: it also gets James Gandolfini as the NYC mayor. Unfortunately, it also gets John Travolta. [Variety]
· Jon Heder and Dax Shepard Career Death-Rattle Watch: They both get one last wheeze playing Kristin Bell love interest in When In Rome. [Variety]

1. Zach Braff: Conquests include Drew Barrymore, Shiri Appleby, Sarah Chalke, Mandy Moore, Bonnie Somerville and Kirsten Dunst.

2. Brandon Davis: Hit it (and subsequently quit it) with Mischa Barton, model Caroline Vreeland, Miranda Kerr, Harrod's heiress Camilla Al Fayed and model Cheyenne Tozzi.

3. Cisco Adler: Dating history includes Mischa Barton, Kimberly Stewart and Lauren Conrad.

4. Dax Shepard: Rumoured to have slept with Kate Hudson, Kirsten Bell, Tara Lipinski and Ione Skye.

5. Marilyn Manson: Got biblical with Dita Von Teese, Evan Rachel Wood, Rose McGowan and Jenna Jameson.

[Source: Who's Dated Who]

• HOW DOES ZACH BRAFF BAG HOT CHICKS? [ONTD]

· Scary Movie visionaries Keenan Ivory, Shawn and Marlon Wayans are bringing their light, satirical touch to a send-up of cop movies, in which no more than three unlucky officers will be stabbed to death with engorged penises. [Variety]
· Dax Shepard signs with CAA, who've promised the actor that they'd make sure he's no longer only getting the scripts Ashton Kutcher has passed on. [THR]
· Roger King, the executive who first delivered Oprah Winfrey to a national television audience, has died of a stroke at 63. [THR]