The event in question was a snoozefest charity something-or-other at STK, filled with equally snooze-y dinner companions like Cox, her lesser half David Arquette, and easy-to-break-in-half Kate Bosworth. But more interesting than Aniston and Mayer's forced smiles is the fact that the charity was in honor of philanthropist Jeffrey Sachs, who happens to be very best buds with Brad Pitt and has done more than his fair share of charity work with Angelina Jolie. With revenge photos en vogue recently, could the clever Aniston have chosen this particular night to ensure her public boy toy outing would distract the expecting Brangelina from all that fancy Chosen Two cash burning?

• JEN ANISTON, JOHN MAYER MAKE PUBLIC DEBUT [Us]

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In today's episode: James Gandofini; Renee Zellweger; Kid Rock and Rev Run; Mike Binder; Lindsay Lohan; John Krasinski; Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Barry Manilow and Suzanne Somers; Paul Thomas Anderson, Maya Rudolph, Illeana Douglas, and Matt Walsh; Johnny Knoxville; Justin Chambers; Marley Shelton; Rebecca De Mornay; Ben and Fred Savage, Niecy Nash; Diane Delano; Tia Carrere; Lauren Conrad; Michael Moloney; and Jeremy Sumpter.

· 7/20/07 10:40 am: tony soprano (james gandofini) at whole foods - santa monica. Tony was by himself and pretty much on the phone the whole time.

· A few sightings this weekend:

7/21 - After foolishly dropping a lot of $ on sweats on a hot day in Malibu, I perked up when I spotted awesome family man and rap legend Reverend Run walking around with Kid Rock. Whatever they were up to, they looked like it was serious business.

7/22 - Leaving the Starbucks at Wilshire and Santa Monica, I passed Renee Zellweger getting out of her little silver Mercedes. She looked tiny and naturally beautiful in a little black dress and big black sunglasses. Later that day, I ran into Mike Binder grabbing a bite with one of his kids at the Century City food court.

· On Saturday 7/21, while waiting to see the Big Game Hunters sketch comedy show, tons of paparazzi we around the corner at Pop Killer. The celebrity in question was none other than Lindsay Lohan.

· Saturday 7/21: Having an amazing dinner at Giorgio Baldi in Santa Monica with my boyfriend and his family when we noticed that Courteney Cox, David Arquette and Jennifer Aniston were sitting two tables away from us! David is terribly sexy, but shovels his food into his mouth in a not very sexy way, and Courtney and Jen were pretty but too skinny, as is expected. At the table next to them was Suzanne Somers, looking like she's had too much work done, we were all commenting that the Thigh Master must've made her a pretty penny over the years! Also saw Barry Manilow coming in just as we were about to leave.

· I saw John Krasinski from The Office, eating lunch at Ammo on Highland (7/20). He was good-looking in comparison with the behind-the-scenes execs he was sitting with, but he didn't stand out. He wore that same bemused expression that he uses on TV. Maybe he still had shell shock from working with the manic Robin Williams.

· My girlfriend spotted Upright Citizen Brigader Matt Walsh at the free outdoor screening of Boogie Nights in Reseda on Sat. night (07/21). Before the movie started he appeared to be talking to himself, but was on his cell phone earpiece thing. This odd little troll sporting Lynyrd Skynyrd-style facial hair kept approaching him in an obsequious manner.

Even after the event organizer introduced director Paul Thomas Anderson and told everyone to please not talk during the movie, Anderson and yenta girlfriend Maya Rudolph chatted non-stop throughout. He did a live director's commentary, which was less insightful than one might hope for, while she cackled on a cell phone. I considered suggesting to her that I might be able to enjoy the movie if she were to rejoin The Rentals, who happened to be performing at Spaceland that night. If I never hear her annoying laugh again, it will be too soon.

The next day (07/21), girlfriend spots Goodfellas anti-Semite, Illeana Douglas, at the Hollywood Farmer's Market buying tomatoes next to me. Since I don't give a shit about fashion, I will break PrivacyWatch protocol by not reporting what she was wearing. That is all.

· Last night (7-23) around 8:30p I was walking down sunset near gower and saw johnny knoxville and an unidentified friend driving an old blue boat of a car... knoxville, driving, had his cellphone or a small handheld camera and was taking video or pictures of some homeless person pushing a cart... not quite sure what that was all about.

· Sunday 7-22-07 I was in a Santa Monica parking garage elevator with Justin Chambers [green striped polo shirt + chinos], and his wife/lady friend/female assistant. Clean, casual and about 5'10ish in person. Even TV stars park on level 8.

· July 20: On the first day of my first actual visit to LA, I checked out the Hollywood sign from Beachwood Canyon. Afterwards,
as we drove down the winding road, I saw the Beachwood Market and mistakenly thought it was just another fancy-ass house until we got closer and I saw that it was a fancy-ass grocery store. A black BMW or sportscar of some kind pulled up in front of the store and a tall blonde woman stepped out, pretty dressed up. It was Marley Shelton. She was wearing jeans, black heels, a dressy black spaghetti strap top with a chunky gold necklace and had very, very red lipstick on. She also has big, buggy eyes. Looks pretty much the same in person as on screen.

· A week's worth of sightings..

Monday (last) I was driving from Universal and in a big Mercedes with tobacco interior, complete with that damn flower behind her ear, was Niecy Nash from that show where they make you have a yardsale and then pretend that they can decorate your house without using tradeouts. Does she always run around in full makeup with a flower?

Also, it was a hopping afternoon at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I ran in to two Savages (Ben and Fred), who were having a hurang about something haveing to do with a car, then out in the Polo, Courtney Peldon was having lunch with some girl who had the best blonde I've ever seen. I thought maybe I saw Diana Ross, but I think it turned out just to be her hair twin. I was very hair oriented that day.

Tuesday (last) Diane Delano and a blonde girl at Marix and then at Hamburger Mary's in We Ho — they sure get around! (Is it appropriate here to say gee, she sure is popular? get it? like the show?)

Wednesday Tia Carerre and Lisa Ann Warren hosting bingo. Does anyone care about Tia anymore? After a night of ruined ball calling, I sure don't. Hey Mickey you're so fine eh.. not so much.

Thursday I saw teeny tiny little Kristen Chenoweth during my morning run to Starbucks. She has a chin length bob and favors teeny tiny white shorts that say "Pink" on the boot.

Friday I had a hangover and didn't go outside.

Saturday at the Grove movie theatre I saw Lauren Conrad, taller than I would have imagined in some trite dress (new awesome body, though) standing near the concierge and looking annoyed. She was standing with someone, but other than that the person was a human, I noticed nothing, not even gender. I went to see Hairspray, and I was sitting right behind Rebecca DeMornay and a gaggle of little girls (looked like she was the mom taking the bunch to the movies). Very sweet.

Sunday at The Abbey I saw that guy Michael Moloney (or something like that???) from Extreme Home Makeover showing off his iphone and perfect white teeth.

· I always see Jeremy Sumpter (2003's Peter Pan) at a bowling alley in Studio City. He's all grown up and looks quite good. And as can be expected, he's always with a gaggle of overly made-up girls.

In today's episode: Forest Whitaker; Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox; Amaury Nelasco; Evan Handler; David Arquette; Jackie Earl Haley; Jason Lee and Giovanni Ribisi; Luke Perry; Michael Rapaport; Rob Zombie; Dr. Drew Pinsky; Julie Bowen; Ron Leibman; Neil Patrick Harris; Jackie Warner; Jeffrey Ross; Dennis Haskins, Ryan Cabrera and Simple Plan; Henry Rollins; and Kristin Cavallari.

· July 4th - I didn't see any half-naked starlets/socialites, but I did catch an Oscar winner. While having a leisurely late lunch at Shutters, I spotted Forest Whitaker and his lovely family enjoying a stroll toward the Santa Monica Pier.

· July 4th Eve - 4 network stars. Walking across the Sunset Tower/Tower Bar driveway my 6'2" friend by my side enjoyed a sighting reserved for the tall. He peered in to the burkha-like slit in a black Range Rover's driver side window to spy NBC's Jennifer Aniston attempting to turn left on to Sunset while lighting up a smoke. Courteney Cox riding shotgun. (9:50 PM). Later at the opening of Charcoal at the Arclight complex, FOX's Amaury Nelasco (Prison Break) was lurking in the back corner (navy button down, dark jeans, platinum chunky chain, bald head). The owner attached himself at the waist to him all night, but Amaury had no friends in sight. Blonde chick in a white dress who "kinda" knew who he was was "kinda" trying to get on him. He left without her. But the Emmy worthy sighting of my night was "Dave", Hurley's imaginary friend from the mental ward from ABC's "Lost". (Evan Handler). He was at Lubavitch, the "I didn't get in to Winston's" bar on Santa Monica early (10:15 ish), drinking Stella Artois bottles, wearing a maroon button down that oddly matched the bartenders', and sitting by himself at the bar waiting for a brunette he eventually left with. Being all boozy, I initially thought it was Howie Mandel. So all of Defamer loves Kiefer...but this Defame-whore is officially sporting his kitson T-shirt as Team Lost. (P.S. C'mon CBS, get with it.)

· 7-1 I was having brunch at Geoffrey's in Malibu this past Sunday when low and behold Courteney Cox and David Arquette walk in. They were both very incognito and funny enough I recognized David Arquette before Courtney, who looked like she's had one too many cigarettes. After that my friends and I decied to have a drink over at Moonshadows and I spotted Jackie Earl Haley lounging around and enjoying his sunday.

· 1. On Sunday, July 1, I see this white trash cowboy saunter into trendy Silverlake tapas joint Malo. Who is this guy in a long sleeved checkered button-down mixing with boys in skinny jeans? It's Jason Lee, cutely staying in "Earl" character...looks like he just walked off Stage 3 or whatever. He sits down at a big patio table, where a 7 year-old type is annoyingly waving an iPhone. Wife? is refreshingly normal looking, as she plops down next to Earl, with a kid or two in tow. Quickly, I scan the rest of the table. Where is his permanent sidekick? Damn it - he's solo this time? "No that's Giovanni Ribisi right there," my husband sighs. Huh? Perhaps in an unnecessary disguise, so as to fool Defamer operatives, Ribisi has a giant fro happening, and a thick mustache..Sort of a weird 70's Burt Reynolds/last year's Phil Spector hybrid.

2. On Thursday, July 5, at around 7 p.m. or so, saw Luke Perry in a ballcap at mid-Wilshire Irish bar Tom Bergin's. Sat down at the wraparound bar, surrounded by some other can't-place dudes. Totally seems like he'd be fun to grab a beer with - seems to be aging better than a lot of those 90210 kids.

· 7-5 So I'm eating a delicious turkey on cheese and jalapeno bagel sandwich outside Sam's Bagels on Larchmont when the couple two tables away starts having a full-blown argument. My lunch cohort and I had noticed that it was that curly-haired New York-accented actor Michael Rapaport. We went about our lunch until we honestly couldn't talk normally, so we left. He needs a haircut b/c his shaggy curls draw attention to his bald spot, but it's nice to see he's tall. She looked good.

· Sunday (7/01) I took my in-from-out-of-town mother to the Pinkberry on Larchmont. In line behind us was Rob Zombie and his wife. When we left the store I had to explain to her who he was several times; she declared that he "didn't look like someone who would be famous." Then Monday morning I was dropping her off at the Burbank airport, when she recognized Dr. Drew Pinsky unloading the car in front of us with his family. It was really surprising that she recognized him before I did... I hope she's not been calling into Love Line with questions about... *Shudder*

· July 4th, around 1pm, spotted Julie Bowen sitting at a cafe along Vermont, possibly Figaro's or whatever it's called. The one by the theatre that isn't Fred 62 or the Italian place. Anyway, she was smiling/laughing while at one of the outdoor tables. Saw her as I walked past and thought, "She's pretty." Then thought, "WAIT, she was Jack's wife on Lost!" Spent the rest of the block trying to remember her name. I know it's not Keifer, but it is Los Feliz.

· Wed. 7/4, LAX: Ron Leibman, smoking outside the Delta terminal in a full suit and a leather-like tan. In pointing him out to my husband, I instinctively blurted out, "Kaz!" What can I say, that show made an impression on my 9 year-old self.

· Reality fitness guru Jackie Warner (Bravo's "Workout") spent the Fourth of July at the Abbey in West Hollywood, drinking and (gasp!) smoking.

I keep seeing Neil Patrick Harris in the locker room at Equinox West Hollywood these days in that late afternoon time slot before all the office dwellers come and ruin the vibe. He seems more cheerful lately and is being friendly to fellow patrons all of a sudden.

· The Fourth of July. 101 Coffee Shop, enjoying some Cuban corn on the cob and an espresso milkshake at the counter, Comedy Central roast MC and filthy poet Jeffrey Ross saunters in with three other men.

· Metal Skool last night at the Key Club (july 2nd), the highlight was Dennis Haskins, Mr. Belding of Saved By the Bell fame himself...not only was he super bloated, but he had the nerve to get up on stage and sing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin", mildly attempt Alice Cooper, and creepily check out the underage valley girls on stage during the last song. I've been told he's done this before, and it's all on youtube...so what the hell? The band kept calling him Richard and asked him what he thought of Screech's sex tape. It was great. Also in the crowd was Ryan Cabrera walking back and forth constantly from the vip area with a hat on what looked like day 4 of not washing his hair. He had a posse of girls. And to top it off, Simple Plan was there as well. if anyone remembers, they made a mild impact during the height of blink 182, sum 41, and all the number bands. I guess cover bands attract C listers...?

· july 3rd Henry Rollins at the Sunn 0))) show, el rey theatre. Looked hot.

· My date recognized Kristin Cavallari at The Pig on La Brea. Apparently she was in some kind of reality show on the music television channel. Not sure who she is but she was with a guy who was such an uber-douche he left a trail of vinegar from the street.

In today's episode: Colin Farrell; Robert Downey, Jr., Gary Shandling, and Kevin Pollack; Lisa Kudrow, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette; Brian Grazer; Michael Richards; Jason Lee and Jason Segel; John Krasinski and Adam Scott; Roger Avary; Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox; and Chris Owen.

· 6/25 - About 10 pm, jumping into the least comically long line at Hollywood/Western Ralph's, fairly checked out after a long work day. Only after vaguely registering an Irish brogue on the tatted, muscle-shirted, pork-pied gentleman in front of me, i do notice he was about to leave his milk jug behind. He returns to grab it after cashier & I shout him down, and he is then obviously Colin Farrell, with a hardy "thanks then, mates" for us. Being at least a mile from any fashionable locale and being above-average male height seems the ultimate combination to fly under the radar, or no one had seen "Tigerland" on the late shift.

· Went to the Police show at Dodger Stadium (6-23). I had great seats so I started looking for celebs and was initially disappointed when the only person I recognized was the obviously mentally challenged Cousin Sal from The Jimmy Kimmel Show. Then I spotted Gary Shandling, Robert Downey, Jr. , and Kevin Pollack. Not too shabby.

· Went on Thursday 6/21 to One on Sunset. Lisa Kudrow was there having dinner with her husband and another older-ish couple that aren't famous. She's much prettier in person. Her husband went the sweater around the shoulders route. I bit later Courteney Cox and David Arquette dropped in. They were both much better looking and even tinier than I would have imagined. Courtney spoke with Lisa and other friends, while David spent the entire time running back and forth talking on his phone. While we were waiting for the valet an Escalade swooped up, David jumped in and the driver screeched off. Maybe Coco needed a parent to come home?

· Saw Brian Grazer at Glu Gallery's "Everything Must Go" opening on Beverly last night (6/23). Scariest part? Your giant Grazer head shot is actually life size....that dude is tiny!

· More than 10 years of going down to the Third Street Promenade on a regular basis, and I finally had my first celebrity sighting down there last Sunday the 24th - and boy, was it a good one. Walking down Santa Monica Blvd. toward the beach at around 2 p.m., I passed ex- Kramer Michael Richards, who was carrying a bunch of shopping bags and looking a bit winded as he went his not-so merry way. Being of the Negro persuasion myself, I resisted the immediate temptation of pointing at the doghouse-residing star and shouting ... well, you know.

· The Two Jasons: On the way to the House of Pies last Sat. (June 23) I spied Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother/Knocked Up) sidewalk seated with a lady friend. On the return trip I passed Jason/Earl Lee puffing on a cig at the Prospect and Vermont car wash. Kept my eyes peeled for Priestly, Patric and/or Schwartzman but no luck.

· 6/23 - Walking out of the movie theater at the Grove, I spotted Adam Scott (I had to look him up and I bet you would have too - he was the gay friend in Monster-In-Law and the male nurse in Knocked Up). He's cute. Minutes later, I was walking into AOC when my current crush John Krasinski brushed past me on his way out. Seriously cute and oh so talented. He looked like he was maybe with an industry type couple and a nice looking older couple who could have been his parents. The older gentleman graciously complimented the hosts on the wonderful dining experience, so he couldn't have been from here because we're not that nice.

· 6-23 I'm shopping at Whole Foods in Santa Monica and who do I spot in the vegan raw food section but the Academy Award winning writer of Pulp Fiction and director of The Rules of Attraction, Roger Avary. He looked good (blond and semi-fit), but he was talking to himself like a homeless person, muttering things like "this for me" and "body likes this" in a voice that was a little too loud. I looked for a Bluetooth headset, but saw none. His cart was full of various raw food items, like pizza made out of cashews and other things gross, and he must have been there for at least 15 minutes agonizing over what goofy food item pleased him more. Then, very clearly, he half shouts "Damned Nazi's — DIE!" I have no idea what was irking him so, but it scared me enough to turn and walk away.

· went to see the Police @ Dodger Stadium last night, 6/23. while waiting in line for a margarita, noticed JAY MOHR + NIKKI COX walking by. he was working a '70s porn star 'stache. which makes sense, since NIKKI has over-inflated Juvoderm porn star lips. looked like he was following her around like a puppy dog. so sad.

· 6/24/07 stopped into Chipotle at the Grove and see none other than Chris "The Sherminator" Owen (I definitely had to Google him) waiting in line. He was waiting to pick up a special order quesadilla (why?). Looks exactly like he does in the movies, which is sort of unfortunate for him.

The theatrical release of David Arquette's The Tripper is soon upon us, the first horror movie to our knowledge to feature a Ronald Reagan-impersonating ax murderer (not counting 1953's criminally overlooked Bloodbath For Bonzo). As a low-budget horror producer without joint access to his far more successful wife's bank account, Arquette is always on the lookout for creative viral marketing ploys that cost no more than the price of four quickly pounded Cape Cods: Behold, then, this remarkable feat of bladder-relieving chirography made available on the movie's MySpace page, in which Arquette scrawls the title upon a New Orleans sidewalk in one fell piss. It's an admirable example of out-of-the-pants promotional thinking, made all the more impressive by the knowledge that Arquette is simultaneously contributing his small part to the re-beautification of areas hit hardest by Hurricane Katrina.

• The Tripper Tour, Pt. 5 [MySpace]

Patricia Arquette will soon be taking orders from her little brother.

David Arquette, who's married to "Dirt" actress Courteney Cox, will direct an episode of NBC's drama "Medium."

"I was always a bossy little girl and being David's older sister I've bossed him around quite a bit. Now that he'll be directing me it will be payback time," Patricia Arquette, 38, said Monday.

Hopefully, Arquette's latest directing venture will turn out more smoothly than his last, when he arrived at Comic-Con to preview his "political horror" movie The Tripper, only to accidentally lose the tapes. A repeat of that sort of gaffe might mark an early demise to his fledgling TV directing career, at which point the only sister who'll be able to do anything more is Alexis, who'll sternly warn him in advance that she "really stuck my neck out for you to get this gig running the sound board at Trannieaoke Night at Hamburger Mary's, David, so don't fuck this up."

• Brother and Sister Act on TV's `Medium' [AP]

THR's Ray Richmond reports that the website of TV writer/producer Matthew Carnahan was hijacked by hapless "Middle Eastern extremists," who replaced Carnahan's homepage (still down the last time we checked in) with these rather unpleasant images of death and strife from the region and the message, "If You Stop War We Will Be(sic) Stop Hacking." But while the man who will soon broker on-set peace between real-life couple David Arquette and Courteney Cox-Arquette on FX's upcoming Dirt undoubtedly has valuable insights into the crisis in the Middle East, Richmond points out that the hackers probably meant to target Matthew Michael Carnahan, the next entry down on the IMDb search page, the writer of terrorism drama The Kingdom. Then again, this could all just be a ploy by edgy publicists at FX to stir up some viral buzz for their series, "The outrageous celebrity tabloid workplace comedy the terrorists don't want you to see."

• Some Web Servers Are More Secure Than Others [Past Deadline]
• Previously: 'United 93' Message Boards Hacked [Defamer]

The rest of the post and an update after the jump.

"I'm so embarrassed," the 34-year-old actor told the throng of fans who gathered to see the film at the comic convention. "It'll probably be on the Internet tonight."

To appease the crowd, Arquette acted out a few lines from the movie, which he co-wrote.

We welcome any footage you may have stumbled across online—or, even better, video of Arquette's live, Comic-Con reenactments*. And while we wouldn't put the gaffe past the differently-abled actor, a far more likely scenario was that once the political nature of the movie became known, a squadron of undercover DHS agents disguised as Wookies and Ninja Turtles were immediately dispatched to blanket the San Diego convention center, with strict orders to "misplace" the video for him.

*UPDATE: A reader alerted us to the fact that video of Arquette's Comic-Con presentation was available on Netscape.com, which we have included above. Unfortunately, the clip contains none of Arquette's reenactments, but plenty of apologetic fumbling and fidgeting as he tries to explain what happened.

• David Arquette Loses Directorial Debut Tape [CBSNews.com/AP]