Hogwarts is a hormonal hothouse! Wizards are snogging in the halls, winking at each other during Potions class, and they're even abusing their powers to seduce other supple wizards. Director David Yates did a fantastic job capturing the sexual tension that must throb through any kind of co-ed castle. But because the most troublesome part of teen sexuality is the idea of a loose lady wizard most of the innuendos and flirtation stayed between the boys. And so in the tradition of British boarding schools things got a little gay.

Here's a breakdown (spoiler free):

Ron adores Harry, naturally. Ron's always been uneasy around girls and it was chalked up to the fact that he's clumsy goof. But in the sixth installment, Ron has become a bit of a strapping butch boy and he starts to get noticed by the girls. He plays along but really only lights up when he is around Harry. His supposed crush on Hermione is as lustful as nursing home bingo game. But when Harry's in the room, Rupert Grint, who plays Ron, blushes, grins, his shoulders roll back and hips sway forward when he talks to Harry.

Daniel Radcliffe who has always played Harry a little fey, undulates and titters around Ron. At a quidditch tryout Ron needs to impress Harry in order to make the team. Harry's eyes stayed locked on Ron as he straddles a broom. When Ron succeeds in blocking a score from the opposing team, Ron leans back on his broom, clutches the broom at its base and points it in Harry's direction. Harry beams. It is a giant phallic broomstick in between his legs! C'mon people!

Also, there is a lot of touching and affection between the male teachers of Hogwartz and the boys. Whether it's Snape, (Alan Rickman looks like a New Wave lesbian in a cape) who continually pushes his chest into Harry's face. Or Professor Slughorn who longs for Harry's attention and who Harry essentially seduces for information. Or Dumbledore, with his feminine affectation is such an obvious old queen.

There's a whole closed cabinet/closed motiff too! At one point, Dumbledore confronts a young Voldemort about a literal flaming box of secrets in his closet!

And even though Rowling has revealed that Dumbledore was in fact a gay, the homoeroticism that was on the screen is absent in the books. Hell, I don't even think it was in the script. The young male actors are bubbling over with sexual energy and had nowhere to point it so they pointed it at each other.

P.S. I also think Radcliffe is gay as all get out! There, I said it.

(Top pic via TheGreatGeekManual, Time cover mash-up by our pals at Vulture)

New York's Jada Yuan reported seeing the following interaction at Friday's NYC premiere of the new Harry Potter movie. Harry Potter (muggle name: Daniel Radcliffe) was doing red carpet interviews, charming people along the way. A gaggle of reporters gets in his face. One of them is an 11 year-old cutie from Scholastic.

Radcliffe (to other reporters): "One moment, one moment. I will come back to you. [Locks eyes with Scholastic News girl] Hello!"

Girl: "Hey. I'm Danielle from Scholastic News."

Radcliffe: "Hello, Danielle! Pleasure to meet you."

Danielle: "This is an HONOR to interview you."

Radcliffe: "Oh, thank you. You're very sweet. Thank you."

Danielle: "I've seen the first and second movies and read the first and second book and they are SO good. Especially the movies. I loved them, the movies!"

Radcliffe: "Thank you very much. You're very, very kind. They get even better than that, though, so when you get time or when your parents think you're old enough, you must watch the rest. They're very cool."

And then:

Other reporter: "Daniel, how…"

Radcliffe: "One moment, one moment."

Other reporter: "They told us to group together."

Radcliffe: "It will happen. One second, sorry." [re-focuses on Danielle]

Danielle: "How did Harry change from the first movie to the second? I mean, the sixth?"

Radcliffe: "To the sixth? Well, he grew marginally taller. The films have gotten a lot darker since that first film, so I think he has had to get a lot tougher since then. Thank you very much."

Danielle [holding breath, then nearly dropping mike]: "Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. That was soooo cool!"

There's a little more where that came from. Why can't all movie stars be like the Harry Potter kids? Maybe they'll start to be. Even though Harry Potter reaps its millions of successes (read: dollars) on the strength of the actual franchise property, it surely can't hurt that parents can find something to enjoy in letting their kids be influenced by its key players. Even Radcliffe didn't have his parent-approval rating hurt by letting his cock hang out on the West End and Broadway in Equus. Who'd of thought? Young, million-dollar movie stars as role models to kids. Magic!

Update: Here's Danielle version of her encounter with the wizard one.

Quite the opposite, said Radcliffe, who explained that it would at least add some inches to his much-scrutinized manhood. Take heart, Dan — at least that shrinkage brings you ever closer to your long-held dream of playing Hermione!

• Inside the Actors Studio [Bravo]

[CLICK IMAGE TO EXPAND]

• ! OMG, more naked Daniel Radcliffe !! [omgblog].

I ask him about other dream parts: Super-villain? Terrorist? Sex fiend? "I think part of me would love to play a drag queen," Radcliffe says, "just because it would be an excuse to wear loads of eye makeup."

Perhaps he could borrow some mascara from the cougar he lost his virginity to? Oh yes, read on:

Ever since Equus added a kinky twist to the end of one of the most well-attended puberties of the decade, Radcliffe's passage into adulthood has been the stuff of feverish speculation. For the record, Master Radcliffe does drink—in moderation and in private. Vodka and Diet Coke is his cocktail of choice, he says, "'cause I'm a pansy-ass civilian." Also for the record, he celebrated reaching Britain's age of consent, 16, almost three years ago, in the customary manner, with an older girlfriend. The age difference "wasn't ridiculous," he says. "But it would freak some people out."

Daniel, Daniel... if we can weather Sharon Stone's new "May/Surgically-Altered December" romance, surely there's no age gap too terrifying for a Potter fan to withstand. Really, we're encouraged by your progress: after all, what better way to develop motor skills needed for untying shoelaces than to practice unhooking a bra?

• DANIEL RADCLIFFE [Details]

He's taking a leave of absence from New York University, where he's double-majoring in fine arts and Middle Eastern studies.

"I initially considered trying to do my academic classes during the day and the play at night, but it's probably not a good idea to mix those things at the same time," he told The Post. "It's my first time out, so I'm sure I'll be putting in a lot more hours in the theater than I would on a film set."

Not only that, young Osment, but you potentially just joined charter member Stephen Dorff in the Jeremy Piven Adversary Club, named in honor of the actor making his own Broadway bow this fall in the Mamet revival Speed the Plow. But no worries! Just remember the convenient Piven-bathroom-fight mnemonic, "Back of the line, I'm doing fine. Cut to the john, it's on," and you'll make influential new friends in no time.

• OSMENT: I SEE B'WAY AUDIENCES [NYP]

Daniel Radcliffe often has trouble tying his shoelaces thanks to a brain disorder, the "Harry Potter" star has revealed.

The actor, 19, has dyspraxia, a condition that can cause problems with coordination.

"I sometimes think, 'Why, oh why, has Velcro not taken off?' " he joked to Britain's Daily Mail newspaper.

Radcliffe also revealed that he decided to become an actor partly because he had trouble in school due to dyspraxia.

His frightening battle with shoelaces (heretofore known as "That Which Must Not Be Named") aside, at least Radcliffe can console himself with his piles and piles of cold, hard, tween cash. Sure, Zac Efron may be able to lace up his own Jordans, but Radcliffe can afford to actually buy the basketball player (with enough money left over to take Hermione on a Hogsmeade shopping spree).

• 'Harry Potter' star Daniel Radcliffe has dyspraxia, a brain disorder [NY Daily News]

The real story? Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe will be right in the middle of his sensational, highly publicized run on Broadway in the play, "Equus." Radcliffe appears naked in the play, on stage, and has sex in it as well. That's not the image Warner Bros. wants associated with bespectacled Harry, who remains chaste and virginal.

Indeed, posters for Equus are up all over New York, of Radcliffe's naked torso superimposed on a horse's head. This is not the sort of thing that's taught at Hogwarts. For the movie to open on Nov. 21, Radcliffe would have to do publicity entailing answering questions about blinding horses and having sex with them vs. flying around and making potions.

There's just one thing, Rog: this whole Equus brouhaha? Warner Bros. has already been through it. When Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix came out last summer, it was right on the heels of Radcliffe's first (underage!) Equus run in London, where the production began. By now, the nudity is old hat — in fact, reports are circulating that Radcliffe's Broadway run isn't causing as big a fuss as promoters had hoped. Forgive us, but for once we're going to believe the official line from the studio heads; after all, we can think of another dark installment in a long-running franchise that did gangbusters business in its mid-July release date this year...

• Harry Potter Scared by Horse [Fox News]

“The release date change does not alter the production schedule for this or future Harry Potter films. Post-production on Half-Blood Prince was completed on time, and the studio’s release plans for the two-part Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will not be affected by this change. We know Harry Potter fans are eagerly anticipating seeing the final chapters unfold onscreen. In fact, the good news for them is that the gap will now be shortened between Half-Blood Prince and the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows."

Indeed, ecstatic Potter fans around the world rejoiced at having to wait another 11 months for the series' next installment — particularly those at MuggleNet, where glowing reactions ranged from "I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 2008 is officially the "WORST YEAR EVER" to creatively spelled calls for a Warner Bros. boycott. And of course, feel free to sign the inevitable angry petition for an earlier release date.

Now Variety reports that Disney is moving its own animated fall tentpole Bolt — which would have opened opposite Potter on Nov. 28 — back to July 17 as well. Universal and Will Ferrell, meanwhile, which previously had that day to itself for Land of the Lost, were last spotted scouting downtown window ledges at lunch. Send our apologies if you see them.

• 'Half-Blood Prince' moves to July [Variety]

All will be revealed — the full list, after the jump:

1. (tie) Daniel Radcliffe, Miley Cyrus - $25 million

3. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - $15 million

4. The Jonas Brothers - $12 million

5. Zac Efron - $5.8 million

6. Ashley Tisdale - $5.5 million

7. Emma Watson - $5.5 million

8. Hillary Duff - $5 million

9. Rupert Grint - $5 million

10. Vanessa Anne Hudgens $3.2 million

Apparently, tween wealth comes in threes: not only do three Harry Potter stars and three actors from High School Musical make the list, but the trio of Jonas Brothers as well. Still, while the salaries are steep, the number one thing we took away from this list was an overlap with this one. We now eagerly await the salacious (yet tasteful!) Us Weekly slideshow devoted to "Celebrity Tween Virgin Mega-Millionaires."

• Daniel Radcliffe enjoys a spell at the top of Forbes' rich list for young actors... and Emma and Rupert join in the fun [Daily Mail]

The series appears to have abandoned all pretense of being anything less than an adolescent conjurers' dirge, eight shades darker than the previous murky installment. (Deathly Hallows we imagine will be nothing but a black screen with occasional flashes of finger-tip-produced lightning bolts.) We see no Trainspotting touches like heroin-flavored jelly beans or soiled invisibility cloaks, resulting in mysterious floating poop stains. Rather, we get that old scary-movie standby—a creepy kid with pyrokinetic powers and mental command over an army of snakes. Watch out behind you, Harry! Flaming cobra!

• Let the 'Potter' Hysteria Begin ... Again [AOL]

If only I had read any of the Harry Potter books or seen any of the movies without falling asleep, this would be the perfect opportunity to make some joke about quidditch and muggles and heroin and dead babies on the ceiling, but alas you'll have to make your own (and you're encouraged to do so in the comments).

Instead, I'll just say that if the movie really is as dark as Radcliffe claims, parents in that audience will have a lot of explaining to do. "Mommy, what does 'tie me off' mean?" Get your answers ready now.

• Radcliffe: New "Potter" Movie Like "Trainspotting" [HuffPo]

Not to get too personal or anything, but when we were 18, we weren't exactly jumping on board the waxing trend either. But we also made sure not to let the whole world know it. But considering Emma's most recent paramour, that shaggy-haired mind-bogglingly gorgeous girl-attracting Razorlight front man Johnny Borrell, Hermione may be determined to grow up faster than her peers. Our only other theory? Harry Potter superstar Daniel Radcliffe has been stealing Emma's thunder for, well, practically her entire life. And now he's set to reveal all on Broadway. Could this be his hotter-by-the-second co-star's way of redirecting the spotlight towards her and her own assets? In any case, we do give the girl credit for covering up, even if "covering up" means pretty much showing us all exactly whether or not the carpet matches the drapes (it does).

UPDATE (1:45pm): By popular demand, here's a link to Egotastic's gallery of Her Moaning Granger.

[Photo credits: Getty]

• CHEER UP, HER-MOANY GRANGER [The Sun]
• EMMA WATSON CELEBRATES 18TH BIRTHDAY WITH POTTER CAST, BUT WHERE ARE HARRY AND RON? [Daily Mail]

"I will be terrified because I was talking to [co-star] Richard Griffiths about playing New York, and he said the most stupid thing you can do is underestimate New York audiences."

Though the play received critical acclaim from London theater critics when it opened in February last year, Radcliffe's nudity was obviously the star attraction. The Guardian called it a "well-realised" "exciting spectacle," but later wondered if Radcliffe's star power was overshadowing its merit. Whether or not the story of a sad teenage guy blinding six horses opens to rave reviews here in New York, there's something else Radcliffe should know about American audiences: we like us some celebrity nudity.

[Photo Credit: Hollywood Grind]

• NUDE DANIEL RADCLIFFE TO HIT BROADWAY [People]

We've since been following this story closely, having noted the first public appearance of the outed enchanter on the cobblestoned streets of Lacock, U.K. Now, via our friends at Towleroad, we bring you this clip featuring Harry Potter himself, sharing for the first time with the BBC's Michael Parkinson his reaction to the big news. Harry seemed newly energized by the revelation, confident the two may finally be able to conquer He Who Shall Not Be Named, when the Hogwarts headmaster transforms himself into a giant Chicken Hawk and carries the wand-wielding young wizard to Voldemort's lair in the firm-yet-tender grip of his razor-sharp talons.

• Michael Parkinson [BBC]

The play delves into the psyche of a boy named Alan Strang who blinds six horses with a metal spike. The production is scheduled to open next March in the West End theater district, said spokesman Peter Thompson.

"It is an extraordinary play, and he's very much looking forward to the role," Radcliffe's spokeswoman, Vanessa Davies, said Friday. "He is maturing as an actor and beginning to take on new and challenging roles."

In one scene the actor playing Strang is required to simulate sexual ecstasy while riding a horse naked.

Should the actor find himself not up to the considerable challenges of the role, we'd recommend drawing upon past performance experiences— perhaps by telling himself that he's sporting a cloak of invisibility as he mounts his equine perch, or, should frigid theater temperatures take their anatomically diminishing toll, merely convince himself Hermione has mischievously enacted a "Reducio!" spell on him whose effects are only temporary.

• 'Harry Potter' actor to be naked on stage [AP]