"There's no smoking," Sutherland, 41, tells Men's Vogue in its December/January issue, which hits newsstands Nov. 25. "The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them."

Although Sutherland has resumed smoking, the knowledge that he could go 48 days with his Camels is a comforting thought.

"My drinking was not a daily thing, so it wasn't an issue. And, oddly enough, neither was the smoking," he tells the magazine, adding, "I was very glad to know that I could quit. And one day soon I will."

Until then, though: hot wings at Ye Rustic are on Kiefer! He'll just be outside, trying to bum a Camel light off the drunk, 50-year-old blonde (Liz?) he saw sitting at the end of the bar, head lolling just low enough to earn her brittle bleached hair an extra sheen of beer-soaked highlights.

• Kiefer Sutherland Describes Jail Ordeal [People]

Is the movie sticking to the TV show's real-time format?

It is. This two hours is two hours in real time and there'll then be 22 episodes. I don't know how they connect it to the first of those 22 episodes but it's literally the third hour...

So it will lead straight into the new series?

Yeah.

Though last season's 24 might have been better off as 16, Kiefer-starved fans will no doubt take this news poorly (to say nothing of the Mary Lynn Rajskub message boards!). Rest assured, though, producers are working overtime to provide even more twists and turns to make up for the season's two lost episodes. Spoiler alert: the Christmas tree was behind it all!

• Robert Carlyle Talks '24: The Movie' [Premiere]