So look at her! Doesn't she look nice? It's almost as if she's not some oddly-nutritioned movie starrish type person. She looks like a regular girl and we are horrible people for keeping these photos cycling on the internet. What a disaster.

Just like prom always is!

via Ocean Up

WHAT'S NEW: It looked for a moment like the aging He's Just Not That Into You had done in New Line's climate-controlled film cellar might have punched up its all-star romcom flavor. Yet as taste test results pour in, we're learning that might have been a little too premature an assumption. Not premature, however: The expectation that the Barrymore/ScarJo/Aniston/Affleck confection will win the weekend, wringing around $22.6 million of date-night loot and safely distancing itself from The Pink Panther 2's $16.8 million. Look for the stop-motion fantasy Coraline to present the weekend's big 3-D X-factor on 2,200 screens, pulling enough viewers from the top-two openers — as well as holdovers Taken and Paul Blart: Mall Cop — en route to a surprising, Focus-satisfying $11.2 million.

Also opening: Darth Weinstein's own shelf-dust Fanboys; the Lysistrata-ian, Soviet-era sex-for-water comedy Absurdistan; and the much-anticipated Thai martial-arts offering Chocolate, about a "special-needs girl with a special need to kick some ass." We can't make it up, we swear.

THE BIG LOSER: We suppose Summit Entertainment had to follow its blockbuster Twilight with something, but we had hoped it wouldn't be yet another grim, garish confirmation of the B-flick factory the studio actually is. Yet here comes Push, the psychic actioner pairing Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning as a telekinetic and a clairvoyant trolling Hong Kong for some experimental drug that, should it fall into the wrong hands (namely Djimon Hounsou's), would wreak some global havoc. Like, say, a sequel. We love noshing on some delicious junk now and then, but since we get the feeling that even Summit itself would hesitate to lick the frosting off this particular cupcake — and with Chocolate calling our names anyway — we'll pass. As will the rest of America; see you at $7 million and on Flopz™ by June.

THE UNDERDOG: Face it: This is a make-or-break year for you and your Oscar pool. Seventeen wins won't cut it anymore. Luckily, Magnolia Pictures is pulling for you, offering this year's Oscar-Nominated Short Films as a means of sharpening your competitive advantage in at least two categories. Add in the extra benefit of all of them being generally good (a few are outstanding, including Pixar's Presto, pictured), and really, there's no excuse to say "No." We'll offer our own handicapping guide later today, but clear a couple hours this weekend to judge for yourself.

FOR SHUT-INS: A sparse week of new DVD releases includes Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, a two-disc edition of Zack and Miri Make a Porno, the good Dakota Fanning alternative The Secret Life of Bees, "deluxe" reissues of the first three Friday the 13th films, and the indispenable-to-somebody Becker: Season Two.

We'll admit that when we clicked on the HuffPo headline "Dakota Fanning Dons Jumpsuit For Letterman (PHOTO)," we were expecting some wacky Stupid Human Tricks that might involve harnesses and velcro walls. However, we'd forgotten that it's Dakota Fanning 2.0 that we're dealing with now, and that the actress is vamping it up in hopes of landing a role in the Twilight sequel. Behold, then, Fanning rocking this navy jumper to tape a Late Show with David Letterman appearance that will air on Friday. Abigail Breslin, your move!

[Photo Credit: WENN]

• Dakota Fanning Dons Jumpsuit For Letterman (PHOTO) [HuffPo]

Jay played a clip of the first time Fanning was on the show, to promote I Am Sam (she was just 7 at the time and at the beginning of her career). A few minutes later, he portended the end of Hollywood's love affair with the actress. Clip at left.

The latest franchise casting rumor features Fanning at its center, where the soon-to-be 15-year-old is reportedly circling the role of Jane in the forthcoming Twilight sequel New Moon. (NB: No rush casting your fall '09 tentpole, Summit Entertainment!) Jane is "a member of Italy’s Volturi, the most deadly group of bloodsucking killers in author Stephenie Meyer’s best-selling series," notes Marc Malkin, triggering our own impulsive unreadiness to see Dakota Fanning suck much of anything onscreen until she's at least 21. And even then, who ever heard of a black Italian vampire? We'd pass if we were you, girl.

• 'New Moon' Casting Scoop! Dakota Fanning as Jane? [E! Online]

Dakota Fanning was one of five Secret Life of Bees performers to score an Image Awards nod, joining fellow Best Actress contender Latifah, Supporting Actress candidates Sophie Okonedo and Jennifer Hudson, and Supporting Actor nominee Nate Parker. Their film also made the running for Best Picture alongside Miracle at St. Anna, Cadillac Records, Seven Pounds (!) and Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys — the latter naturally being our awards-night favorite for Feb. 14, however many writers' throats Perry had to cut to keep House of Payne competitive in the TV category.

The Image Awards have been a slightly more multiethnic affair of late, with Angelina Jolie nominated last year for A Mighty Heart and Penelope Cruz considered in 2006 for Volver. Still, pending a comprehensive check of our records, we think Fanning is far and away the whitest person ever recognized by the Image Awards committee. For that outreach, we celebrate them — and hope to Christ they never catch wind of her work in Hounddog. Though Jennifer Lopez was thrown a bone in '03 for Maid in Manhattan, so maybe anything goes.

• Tyler Perry gets double NAACP noms [LAT]

1. The Cast. Or lack thereof. But that's only half of it: If some anonymous dude and his tremendous Photoshop 2.0 spiral-blowing powers take precedence over the talent's faces, then they must remain hidden deep in the credits well with the rest of the schmucks. Really, though, if you've got Dakota Fanning in your movie, you must have her in the promo art. There's no excuse for anything less. Get creative! Anything will work — for example:

You're welcome!

2. Four producers, no more. We've mentioned this scourge many times before, most recently with Righteous Kill. But again: When you have enough credited producers to field a beer-league softball team, you should not be designing a movie poster in the first place — you should be designing a DVD cover.

3. The Web site is a MySpace page. Last we checked, distributor Summit Entertainment released the most sensational, highest-grossing film of the fall. Would it kill them to splurge on "push-themovie.com" or something similar. Oh wait — they did. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

4. Random pandering overdose. There's a sports car. Getting blown up. Next to an automatic rifle. Flying through the air. Like they're wont to do. Fifteen-year-old boys are pretty dumb, but they aren't that dumb.

5. You don't blast Djimon Hounsou into the air with your palm-waves. He was in Amistad, motherfuckers!

• 'Push' Teaser Poster [Worst Previews]

WHAT'S NEW: No one would argue that Mark Wahlberg's video-game adaptation Max Payne won't win the weekend, but with Beverly Hills Chihuahua still barking in theaters (it actually expands by 32 screens this week), the sour-cop actioner might see a tiny bite out of its margin of victory. Still, $20.8 million is a reliable bet, with Disney's purse dog settling settling with around $11.5 million.

The X factor is W., the Bush biopic which some forecasters see sneaking into second place with as much as $12 million. But to project any more than $10 million, maybe $11 million max is to overestimate it as anything more than a curio, an election-year stunt that wields neither the bite nor the influence that even we thought it would when the fall movie season began. Josh Brolin drawls and squints in fitful, fascinating bursts, and certain imagined powwows leading up to the 2003 Iraq invasion make for riveting ensemble drama. On the whole, though, W. connotes the rush job it was — undisciplined, tonally dissonant (Stone's professed empathy for Bush repeatedly knocks its head on low-hanging satirical fruit) and way, way too long. The American people deserve better, and at least until Nov. 4, they'll vote with their dollars. There will be no stealing this election.

Also opening: Seth Green's R-rated romp Sex Drive; Roy Disney's boat-race vanity project Morning Light; critic Godfrey Cheshire's acclaimed doc filmmaking bow Moving Midway; the indie tolerance drama Tru Loved; and for those of you in New York (and the rest of you on VOD), Madonna's directorial debut Filth and Wisdom. (L.A. will get its theatrical engagement Oct. 31.)

THE BIG LOSER: The Barry Levinson-directed/Robert De Niro-starring Hollywood satire What Just Happened is one of the year's finest case-studies in meta: A troubled, pedigreed film about troubled, pedigreed filmmaking, following in the flatlining tradition of every industry saga that preceded it. It false-started out of Sundance last January but finally found a taker at Cannes, and to its credit, Magnolia Pictures has aggressively pushed the film everywhere from baseball playoffs to presidential debates. Still, one half of that audience hates Hollywood, and the other half is off to see W. As recipes for disaster go — even in limited release — this one is ready to serve.

THE UNDERDOG: Is it too reductive of us to foresee good things for The Secret Life of Bees — a film featuring an Oscar-winner (Jennifer Hudson), a Grammy winner (Alicia Keys), two Oscar nominees (Queen Latifah, Sophie Okonedo) and America's favorite teen diva Dakota Fanning, presented in a nicely bundled chick-flick wrapper by the money-printers at Fox Searchlight? Like $7.3 million worth of good things?

FOR SHUT-INS: This week's new DVD releases include last summer's rapey adventure Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; Errol Morris's dense, harrowing Abu Ghraib documentary Standard Operating Procedure; the Stephen Rea-in-Mena Suvari's-windshield thriller Stuck; and the much-awaited Nash Bridges: The First Season.

So is it time for Payne? Or is today brought to you by the letter W.? Or is this the weekend you clean up after Papi and Co.? Whatever you decide, don't leave Dakota Fanning out; her curfew is later these days, and she'll hunt you down without thinking twice. Choose wisely!

I directed Dakota Fanning in WINGED CREATURES.

I am very upset and disappointed on behalf of Dakota that such untruths have spun around the internet in regards to Dakota and WINGED CREATURES and that those opinions be attributed to me. They are not my opinions.

My only WINGED CREATURES interview since completing the movie was this one...

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=642285

Dakota Fanning is an incredible actor and a wonderful person. She is brilliant as Anne in WINGED CREATURES. The climactic scene of the movie is the most difficult scene and she hits it out of the park.

My only advice for people that read such things is: watch the movie, judge for yourself. I am proud to be associated with Dakota's amazing performance.

Cheers,
Rowan Woods

Duly noted, though we think it's important to note that the original article sprung not from an interview granted by Woods but from remarks he supposedly made while speaking at the Australian Directors Guild conference in Sydney. We'd prefer a little more clarification from Woods on that issue, but until it comes, we suppose it's okay to unbury our I Am Sam DVD (not Cat in the Hat, though — that one can stay six feet under).

[Photo Credit: AP]

Previously: Dakota Fanning A Diva From Hell, Claims Her Latest Director

Woods said his high profile cast was a pleasure to work with except for teenage starlet Dakota Fanning, who could be a diva on the set.

She initially refused to come out of her trailer on day one of shooting because her scene wasn't filmed first, and was "intensely jealous" of her young co-star Josh Hutcherson.

"Everyone was on their best behaviour on this film because they have got a `really serious Australian director who is known for his ensemble work'," Woods laughed.

"(Fanning) was the only one who was naughty."

Woods said while he thinks Fanning is a fine actor, on this film she didn't hit the mark.

"She is a gorgeous girl ... but she was the disaster," he said.

"There was something about her presence that wasn't ringing true.

"Most of our work was cutting her scenes and a lot of her scenes were cut."

Say it ain't so, Dakota! Has our little girl gone from shrieking about imminent alien arrival to screaming about a Starbucks half-caf that wasn't prepared properly? We've always admired Fanning's near-Method dedication to her craft, but if she's determined to plunge herself into the role of a demanding Hollywood diva, it might be time to send Dakota Fanning 2.0 back to the shop for repairs.

• Movie company deems actor as 'ugly, black and unbankable' [LiveNews]

Also, after the jump, Fanning discusses shooting the film's kissing scene — with Dixon from 90210, of all people. Silver's gonna be pissed!

Boomp3.com

At the Washington DC premiere of The Secret Life Of Bees, a young male fan took a major step forward in his relationship with actress Dakota Fanning. After taking the photo, Billy Walsh asked Fanning if she would be okay with him changing his relationship status on his Facebook profile. Fanning said she wouldn’t mind, but didn’t understand why Walsh would seek her approval. Walsh took a deep breath and explained that Fanning and him have been internet dating for quite some time now and would like to their relationship to the next level. Walsh said, “I’m just started the seventh grade. It’s high time that I settle down with a good girl. A girl like you, Dakota. I can’t be spend all of my junior high years running wild with my bro dawgs looking for a cheap thrills at Stevie Gordon’s pool party. I need to settle down with somebody like you. So, would you mind if it says on Facebook, that ... we’re ... you know ... together?”

Fanning was unsure of how to answer Walsh’s question and wanted to think about it overnight. A feeling of dejection swept over Walsh’s young face. He was about to say something when Fanning interrupted him and said, “It’s not a no, but why ruin a good thing by putting a label on it?”

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

WHAT'S NEW: The first genuine Oscar-chasing release of the fall, The Duchess will likely split its viewership between pro- and anti-Keira Knightley factions before anyone bothers to acknowledge its broader, bodice-ripping appeal. So yes, Team Knightley: She deftly portrays Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, the late-18th-century heroine with the bitterly controlling husband (Ralph Fiennes), the rabble-rousing side dish (Dominic Cooper) and a surfeit of corsted, pre-feminist longing. The star and the film are beautiful, the direction assured and the awards-season creds affirmed — particularly Fiennes', whose customary wretchedness as the Duke acquires a kind of fascinating tenderness with age. If anyone should be on the Oscar bubble (besides the art and costume crew, which are locks), it's him.

Still, in limited release, Duchess isn't competing for any box-office glory; that distinction belongs to Lakeview Terrace, the not-entirely-miserable Neil LaBute thriller featuring Samuel L. Jackson as a sociopathic cop out to get the hot interracial couple next door (Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington). Against sturdy holdovers (Burn After Reading, The Family That Preys) and middling newbies (the Dane Cook slog My Best Friend's Girl, Ricky Gervais's leading-man debut Ghost Town), Lakeview will top out at $15.6 million. Cook will follow with $13.2 million; with half the screens and even less promotion, Ghost Town should still manage an even $6 million.

Also opening: Ed Harris's old-old-school Western Appaloosa; Chris Smith's tiny, acclaimed Indian excursion The Pool; the gay-conversion melodrama Save Me; the wrenching immigrant day-in-the-life tale Take Out; and the Duchess-correcting, misogynist fantasia The Pink Conspiracy.

THE BIG LOSER: You know, after we just predicted the Weinsteins would once again find their step in the multiplex, trust in Harvey to not only dump another subpar animated fairy tale on an unsuspecting public, but to essentially disown it. Such is Igor's lot, with its backers AWOL, its reviews tepid, and its voice talent (John Cusack, Molly Shannon, Steve Buscemi) trapped in a Straight-to-Flopz™ patchwork about a hunchback pursuing his dream of becoming a mad scientist. MGM is left to collect the grosses for this one, which won't break $5 million on 2,300 screens. Or, as they call it at Weinstein HQ, business as usual.

THE UNDERDOG: As members of the privileged few to have seen Hounddog in its spectacularly atrocious Sundance '07 cut ("It was unfinished!", the director screams), we long doubted not only the film's release potential, but also the redeemability of those souls who actually made it. But fair is fair, and while the reedited Hounddog remains the infamous Dakota Fanning Rape Movie — full of overripe Southern hokum comprising snakes, magical Negroes, Elvis worship and borderline inbreds — it has since obtained a sort of culty, gunpowder gloss embracing all of its wrecked potential. It's finally refined its badness enough to be good, even serviceable for at least an hour, with Fanning's vulnerability dynamically intact opposite the predatory, 'shine-swilling archetypes around her. Bonus points, however, to David Morse, whose full-retard debasement here must be seen to be believed.

FOR SHUT-INS: It's Celebrity Bomb Week among new DVD releases, including Mike Myers's stroppy folly The Love Guru; the Wachowski abortion Speed Racer; the Pacino pratfall 88 Minutes; Patrick Dempsey's rom-com Made of Honor; and at not-so-long last, the complete first season of Chuck. Aw, NBC — you shouldn't have! No, really. You shouldn't have.

So what's your Top 3? Is it a Keira weekend, or is Officer Sam pulling your ass over? And how's our math, anyway? Clear your calendars and call your shots — you're among friends here. Even you, Harvey!

(Fanning's character is white, though as we've insisted countless times before, the versatile actress she could have easily slipped into the sister parts.) We couldn't be more thrilled to present a small image gallery of the budding young lady, who's now primed to take on more mature roles. (No rape movies, however. She wants to keep stretching as an actress.)

[Photo credit: Getty Images]

• Dakota Fanning: All Grown Up And Promising To Behave [HuffPo]

As we noted a few months ago, Tom decided that the best way to kiss and make up with old pals Victoria and David Beckham was to offer the couple a weekend vacation at his own home. Nothing says "Procreate for the good of Scientology mankind!" like a few sleepless nights spent at an eerie secluded Hubbard boot camp disguised as a celebrity's mansion. And a few years ago, Cruise made a similar misstep by presenting his tiniest pocket spokesperson, Dakota Fanning, with a cell phone for her 11th birthday. Sure, Dakota's parents wouldn't let her use it and her lack of any actual friends made it entirely useless, but the alien-esque Fanning sure loved prancing down the street "pretending" to talk to imaginary contacts!

Though it wasn't exactly freaky or strange, Tom's gift of a Segway to Hollywood's resident Paranoiac J.J. Abrams left the mystery man disturbed (but mysteriously!). As Abrams told the NY Times in a 2006 interview, his favorite movie-star gift is indeed the Segway, but his quote frightens us just a tad: "Tom Cruise gave me one of those two-wheel Segway scooter things. I'm still trying to get him back for that." Um, because it was programmed to scoot directly towards COS headquarters no matter which direction you pointed it? Last and, in a way, least, future fugitive Katie Holmes has had the fortune of receiving more than a few of Tommy's bizarro presents. As a wedding gift, Cruise reportedly gave his new bride a $20 million dollar jet, even though Katie couldn't fly the thing and was pregnant at the time. But by far the most classic gift on the list is Tom's genius idea for Katie's 27th birthday present: a "DVD compendium of every movie he has ever acted in," inscribed with little handwritten notes from Tom on each film. Because nothing says Happy Birthday like a copy of Magnolia with "It's not going to stop. No, it's not going to stop. 'Til you wise up." scrawled on it by Tom himself.

• TOM, KATIE & THE KIDS SEND GIFTS TO BABY SUNDAY [People]

1. Miley Cyrus
Why She Will Be: Remember when Cyrus (perhaps better known as Disney Channel phenom Hannah Montana) posed! practically naked! for Vanity Fair? She was just fifteen years old. If that's not an auspicious beginning to a decade spent in the celebrity trenches, I just don't know what is. Also, throw in Billy Ray, her just slightly creepy overbearing papa and that's a strong soup.
Why She Won't: This new generation of Kids 2.0 might be so inured to the popwrecks of Lohan and Spears that they know what pitfalls to avoid. Perhaps Cyrus will deftly navigate her years spent not a girl and not yet a woman and will emerge — hoarse voice, rosy complexion, sunny disposition intact — just fine. Consider that a hopeful prayer, Miley.

2. Dakota Fanning
Why She Will Be: Because everyone, strange perversions or not, likes to see a child star awkwardly stumble into adulthood. Fanning, star of such films as I Am Sam and War of the Worlds, has been on our national radar since she was a wee one. And now, as she enters teendom, our prurient ears and eyes will perk up, waiting salaciously for the first sexual bumble, that first tentative alcohol-fueled evening made just a bit too public. And we will eat it up. Plus, expect some "look at me!" grownup movies. It may have already started with last year's Hounddog, for which a then-12-year-old Fanning filmed a graphic rape scene.
Why She Won't: So far Fanning has seemed to possess almost otherworldly intelligence and maturity. Maybe she'll go the Jodie Foster route, disappearing for a bit to experience regular life, then reemerging as a serious, adult actress to be reckoned with. And maybe also a lesbian.

3. Jamie Lynn Spears
Why She Will Be: Oh hell, she's already there. Preggers at sixteen, photographed repeatedly driving around in a strange gocart with her dopey boyfriend, spotted outside silly chain restaurants in Mississippi. She's already a Britney redux and she's still so young. Once she pops out her first bastard child, expect either another pregnancy, a glorious flameout effort to get her career back on track, or both.
Why She Won't: An early death could slow her down. But, more likely, general Spears fatigue will carry over to the littlest dumpling, and Jamie Lynn will just fade into bayou obscurity, Spanish moss shrouding the Spears clan forever. Well, until her mama Lynn storms the gates of LSU and begins hurling wine coolers from the clocktower in a last ditch bid for attention.

4. Zac Efron
Why He Will Be: Because everyone loves a good heartthrob, especially one who acts, sings, and dances. Don't believe me? Just look at ol' Justin Timberlake. The High School Musical star is lined up to star in some major features in the next couple years, meaning he's only a couple nights of too-hard partying, several gorgeous celebrity girlfriends, and a few harmless gay rumors away from being a Justin-sized Us magazine cover cash cow.
Why He Won't: For every JT out there, there are a thousand Ashley Parker Angels, Nick Carters, and Lance Basses. Yeah, they've all had some exposure, but nothing legendary. If he's lucky, Efron will work until his mid twenties, then retire to Northern California with his roommate Barry, where he'll sculpt and direct the musicals at the high school.

5. Miranda Cosgrove
Why She Will Be: Starring on both Drake & Josh and iCarly, the Nickelodeon workhorse is being groomed for big things. Though popular with tweens, we don't know much about her personal life, just that she seems to be truly focused on making it in the biz. Meaning she's a simmering party girl just waiting to bust out. She'll tromp down red carpets, swill champagne, and bed hop with the best of them.
Why She Won't: Who the hell is Miranda Cosgrove? What the hell is an iCarly?

6. The Gossip Girl Kids
Why They Will Be: They're young, pretty, buzzed-about, and on a hip (if little-watched) teen soap. Sure that only carried the OC moppets a short distance, but the GG kids could outlast them, we think. They seem a little more dangerous, a little more edgy and exposed. Maybe it's the New York factor, maybe it's that some of them are already popping up in tabs because they're dating, or maybe it's that we're pathetically obsessed with some of their sexualities. Whatever the reason, they just seem to have a certain something that makes us think at least one of them will be big.
Why They Won't: They'll need to do more than be on a low-rated CW show. The 90210 kids of old never really parlayed their crazy buzz into anything substantial, tabloid or otherwise. Once the show is canceled (mid-season next year, we predict), they'll probably just wander down Lexington, make a left somewhere, and disappear forever.

7. Shia LaBeouf
Why He Will Be: Yes he's irritating and over-hyped, but that hasn't necessarily stopped anyone in the past. The young actor has the same rakishness and noble devotion to his craft that makes George Clooney such an irresistible public figure. He probably won't be smeared across tabloid headlines for threatening cops or burying himself in mountains of blow, but his dating life will soon be on constant public display, we suspect.
Why He Won't: He's irritating and over-hyped. People will grow tired of his shtick. He won't settle comfortably into his looks as he ages. An early cocaine problem will derail him before he can first become hugely famous and then develop a coke problem, when it won't matter. Any or all of the above could prove to be true.

8. Emma Stone
Why She Will Be: Maybe it's the Lohan-esque red hair. The Superbad actress, who's going to be in a comedy called The House Bunny this summer, just seems a bit roguish. A bit dangerous. This is just a weird hunch.
Why She Won't: With only one movie under her belt, she's pretty untested as a person of interest. Plus she seems smart, which could mean that she'll avoid all the youthful Hollywood nonsense. But then again, that red hair...

9. The Jonas Brothers
Why They Will Be: The tight pants. The floppy hair. The foppish hats. The virginity-promising rings. The gooey lyrics. The legion of girly fans. This tweeny bop band (and stars of the upcoming Disney Channel movie Camp Rock, with Miranda Cosgrove! Excited??!) are just too good a set-up. This precarious house of cards must fall, and it must fall in a big (and hopefully gay) way.
Why They Won't: Tight pants. Floppy hair. Virginity. Gooey lyrics. Legion of girly fans. Sounds just like 90's teen boy rock band Hanson, right? And where the hell are those Christian-nut brothers these days? All are living happily-married peaceful lives, with adorable babies biting at their ankles while they record well-reviewed albums together. The Jonas Brothers, who started off as a Christian rock band, could meet the same pleasant fate. Plus, if they were to fall, it would probably be in one glorious catastrophe. Their denouement probably wouldn't last long enough to endure a massive tabloid barnstorm.

10. Shenae Grimes
Why She Will Be: Already big with the young ones because of her "work" on popular Canadian teen melodrama Degrassi: The Next Generation, Grimes is poised to get even bigger when the new 90210 reboot premieres this fall. Grimes is attractive, not too Candian-style "aboot"-y, and has shown a willingness to bare more than her emotions on Degrassi.
Why She Won't: The new 90210 could be a terrific failure. Plus her name is Shenae Grimes.

11. Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale
Why They Will Be: The third High School Musical movie, in which they both star, is going to play in actual fucking movie theaters. Hudgens already had a nude photo scandal involving boyfriend Zac Efron, and Tisdale seems to thoroughly enjoy paparazzi-baiting and flitting down red carpets. Again we have a set of mostly-virginal actresses poised to sully their reputations, over and over and over again.
Why They Won't: The HSM craze could fade. Their popularity might not be as big as Disney would like you to believe. They'll both need to do a couple of saucier, more risque projects before they can expect to be mercilessly hounded by crazed photographers.

12. Katherine Heigl
Why She Will Be: Well, she may already be there. She's photographed constantly, but it's usually tame shots of her having dinner with her husband or at some event. With her newly acquired bitch status, could we be on the verge of some sort of Joan Crawfordian meltdown? Imagine the paparazzi photos of Heigl, bedraggled with curlers in her hair and a cigarette dangling from her lip, chasing people down the street in her housecoat.
Why She Won't: She could get her bad attitude in check and right herself on the course to major movie stardom. Sure she'll still be in the tabloids, but it'll be for more pleasant things like "Who Wore it Best" and photos of charity events.

13. Michael Jackson
Why He Will Be: While there may be no second acts for most American lives, the ridiculously troubled singer/dancer/child romancer Jackson has had fourth, fifth and sixth acts in the past dizzying two decades. He's been laying low for a while, which could possibly be setting the stage for the (gulp) final act.
Why He Won't: Isn't he broke and living in Dubai somewhere? What could he possibly do to get back in the public eye? Oh, actually get convicted on a molestation charge and be sent prison? Oh, OK.

14. Samantha Ronson
Why She Will Be: The lesbian DJ and probable lover of Lindsay Lohan, could launch her own sort of spin-off. Could Us Weekly and co. be ready to give her her own sort of spin-off, once she inevitably parts ways with Lohan? A druggy, be-hatted lesbian trots around Hollywood, outing starlets. Sounds like a good story to us.
Why She Won't: The Lohan factor is probably all she's got going for her in the famous department. Once that does end, it's more likely that she'll just retreat back to being a small celebrity on the club circuit.

15. Elle Fanning
Why She Will Be: The 12-year-old sister of our no. 2 Dakota, Elle could follow in the footsteps of addled siblings like Jamie Lynn or Paris's brother, Barron Hilton. It could also be interesting to watch her rocket past her sister in fame and success, only to lose it all when all the attendant problems of sibling rivalry and problematic family dynamics come racing to catch up with her.
Why She Won't: Perhaps Dakota will, in fact, supernova and Elle will run screaming in the other direction. Or maybe the successfully Jodie Foster-like version of Dakota will shield her little sis from all the slings and arrows. (Plus it's awful to predict a miserable fate for a 12-year-old. You should be ashamed of yourself, Richard.)

16. The Vengeful Ghost of Anna Nicole Smith
Why It Will Be: Hey, it could happen!
Why It Won't: No, no it could not.

[Hounddog] will appear in video stores and mass merchants beginning January 20, 2009, and will be supported with national television and radio ads, a consumer sweepstakes and in-store merchandising. ...

Based on media interest in the film, Empire is targeting $15-million in gross box office, which should be matched in video revenues, based on the January campaign. Empire plans to cross-promote Hounddog with two other theatrical titles opening in September and October, for a combined box office goal of $30-million and cumulative video shipments worth $25-million.

Nothing against the gang at Empire, but they're totally fucking high if they think Hounddog has a shot $15 million in theaters and on DVD; said "media interest" comprises some of the worst reviews we've ever seen (ours is among them), and as another blogger notes, its ongoing MPAA rating problems won't help either. On the other hand, we shouldn't underestimate Empire's "consumer sweepstakes," which we hear will borrow a page from the Simpsons playbook by converting a dozen 7-11s across the country to wood-paneled "Hounddog Sex Shacks" — just like the one in the movie — and offering limited-time only giveaways including Raspberry Rape Slushees, No Means Nachos and Spicy All-Beef Penetrators with an all-you-can-eat fixins' bar. Either that or Ed McMahon may have lined up another gig after all.

• Empire Sets Plan for Video Release of Key Theatrical Titles [Street Insider via NYP]

These kid pimps (usually mothers) push their tiny tots into the limelight, despite the tragedies that have befallen so many who came before them. This list of the "Top 25 Child Stars" is more a gallery of sadness than the tribute to talent we all wish it was. Sure, you've got your few who managed not to lose their marbles (Christian Bale, Elijah Wood), but they are few and far between. Out of 25 kid actors, two were married EIGHT times each, four became addicted to coke in their teens (though technically Drew Barrymore was only 12 when she started snorting what she may have actually thought was nose candy), four were married or pregnant by 20, and the rest are just a grab bag of crazy. Heroin addicts and a manic depressive make the list, as does one who was well on her way to normalcy ... until her stalker shot the President.

Not making the list of great child stars? Robert Blake, the Little Rascal who shot his wife. Carl Switzer, the Little Rascal who got shot by his bookie. The whole cast of Diff'rent Strokes.... And, more importantly, all the child actors who never became stars, but lived through all the same traumatic experiences as their more successful counterparts. But don't bother telling this to a mom with dollar signs in her eyes, as Danny Bonaduce tried to recently when he took a busload of bad parents down the Sunset Strip and heartfully told them the painful stories of many young stars. Right after pointing out the spot where River Phoenix OD'd and died as his teenage brother Joaquin watched, Bonaduce says, "Show hands if you still want stardom for your kid, and you think you can handle it for sure." And they all do, without a single moment of hesitation.

Here's the complete list:
25. Kirsten Dunst
24. Lindsay Lohan
23. Sean Astin
22. Keisha Castle-Hughes
21. Natalie Wood
20. Christian Bale
19. Abigail Breslin
18. Elijah Wood
17. Jodie Foster
16. Haylie Mills
15. Freddie Highmore
14. Freddie Bartholomew
13. Anna Paquin
12. Christina Ricci
11. Tatum O'Neal
10. Haley Joel Osment
9. Elizabeth Taylor
8. Patty Duke
7. Jackie Cooper
6. Dakota Fanning
5. Drew Barrymore
4. Mickey Rooney
3. Judy Garland
2. Macaulay Culkin
1. Shirley Temple

• Top 25 Child Stars [Moviefone]

"Rest assured, friends and fans," the voiceover strains. "Dakota is not retired!" In the mass get-well card equivalent that follows, her "competitor" Abigail Breslin thinks Fanning is nice. Jodie Foster gives her the Child-Star Survivor Stamp Of Approval. The disgrace of Hounddog accounted for, we learn she's also starring in a slate of movies this year including Winged Creatures and The Secret Life of Bees, whose co-star Jennifer Hudson proclaims: "This is not a child! I call her Mama Dakota, OK? And she's half my age." Mama Dakota? Really? Talk about burying the lede! [Via Spout]

• Who is the Next Dakota Fanning? [MTV]