MAYBE seeing themselves on the big screen was too much to take for "Sex and the City" stars Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis. Apparently, soon after the movie's release, they both paid a visit to Roosevelt Hospital on 10th Avenue for minor surgeries. "Cynthia had a breast augmentation and soon after, Kristin had the varicose veins on her legs removed," said an insider.

"They both made sure they did it on the quietest day of the week." It could explain why Davis always wears long hems. Nixon, whose rep denied the surgery, could have been disappointed with her topless scene. Davis' rep had no comment.

So what, we say! A small procedure can do wonders for one's outlook and self-esteem, and if we happen to spot Kim Cattrall emerging from a Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon's office, savoring a fresh lease of life as she struts down the street flaunting her new 38-DDDs, cat's whiskers, and bagel-sized lips, we plan on giving her the most bellowing, "You go, girl!" our diaphragm can muster.

• CELLULOID FLAWS [NY Post]

10:17am: I am stuck in traffic behind a broken down bus! This cabbie is an asshole. I might have to get out and run. [Ed note: The movie is supposed to start at 10:15]

10:37: Two cabs and one subway trip later. I'm finally here! It took me an hour to travel maybe three miles. I already hate this movie.

10:40: These are the shoes I chose to wear. Thank friggin god I didn't wear heels as a joke.

10:41: Big just proposed to Carrie. Kinda.
10:45: This theater is packed and everyone is laughing at the stupid jokes. Although Samantha told Carrie she should get Botox.

10:48: Carrie still has that stupid pink crystal-y phone. Except it's taped together which is a nice touch. She just asked Samantha to be her maid of honor.

10:49: All Charlotte does is scream.

10:50: LOL! Carrie's boss talked her into doing the bride at 40 piece by saying "Vogue airbrushing".

10:52: The wedding photo shoot scene. The Dior dress looks like frothy diarrhea. Vivienne Westwood personally sent Carrie a dress for free.

10:55: Haha. Carrie is becoming far-sighted but won't get glasses. Also Chris Noth: Fake tan much?
10:56: Carrie does research for her new book (about love) at the library.

10:59: Carrie won't tell her friends how often she and Big fuck!

11:02: Also, she calls him "John" now.

11:03: OMG, Big built Carrie a closet just like Mariah Carey's. It looks like a store.

11:04: Charlotte just screamed again. And again.

11:05: I'm cringing. They are trying on outfits to "Walk This Way".

11:07: The Miranda/Steve storyline is actually really good. He just admitted to cheating on her and the old lady in the wheelchair behind me just yelled "Hit him! Hit him!" I'm gonna try to get a picture of her.

11:14: Miranda is like a total bitch.

11:24: Big just jilted her! Because she wouldn't answer the phone in the morning. Seriously, all these people are such babies! who wants to put up with this bullshit? Now Charlotte is screaming at Big. Kristin Davis' throat must've been so sore.

11:28: "Okay so he didn't really jilt her. He freaked for a second, then turned around and went back but Carrie was already embarrassed and then she hit him. The whole thing could've been avoided. Kind of like this movie!

11:31: The reason why the honeymoon was in Mexico is because Carrie paid for it as a surprise.

11:32: Carrie is now in a deep depression in Mexico She's been sleeping and not eating. Speaking of, I'm gonna step out to the concession stand for some breakfast.

11:34: Hahahaha! They actually showed Miranda's thick bush.

11:43: Breakfast!

11:44: Somehow Carrie got her apartment back. I missed that when I was buying my breakfast.

11:47: I guess I also missed the part about how Carrie can afford Jennifer Hudson.

11:50: It really pisses me off that Carrie isn't computer literate. Her assistant does her email for her while she flips through magazines on her couch.

11:55: Carrie died her hair dark brown and changed her phone number and is complaining about having a different area code. [The Lifestyles Of The Rich And First World! -Ed.]

11:57: Samantha adopted a dog because its a girl who loves to hump and she felt a connection.

11:58: Jennifer Hudson deserves a Razzie for this. She sucks.

12:00 Oh! I forgot to mention that Charlotte shit her pants in Mexico. Literally.

12:02: Carrie bought her assistant a Louis Vuitton bag for Christmas. Carrie is a retard.

12:08: Okay, finally a Carrie outfit I like. Pajamas, boots, fur coat, stupid hat. That's what I call "walking the dog" attire.

12:10: This sad people on New Year's Eve montage is way too long.

12:16: Carrie finally realized that she is a self-obsessed narcissist! And that she uses "I" too much.

12:29: One therapy session and Miranda and Steve are back together. Also, Miranda is the only one to show her tits.

12:32: Samantha has gained like 5 lbs and everyone noticed. What bitches.

12:33: Samantha and Smith just had the most civilized breakup after 5 years.

12:35: I just checked carriebradshaw.com and she wrote a book called MENhattan? Barf.
12:37: Also, Charlotte's little girls are named Lily and Rose. Barf x2.
12:41: Interesting. Carrie always wears a bra to bed, but in this frantic city scene she is running through the streets without one.
12:46: People are actually crying in this theater because Big proposed a second time with a Manolo!

12:51: Last line: "And there they were, four friends who had met as girls and were now women ready to enter the next phase of their lives, dressed head to toe in love. And that's one label that never goes out of style." LOL.

This is the violent wheelchair lady.

This is the next showing lining up. So many mothers and daughters.

Yeah, I'm sure they share their sexual liberation together.

12:59: As I was walking out of the theater a middle aged woman working there asked me if the movie was any good and I made the "so-so" sign with my hand and then she goes, "Yeah, I figured. I never liked that show. I'm a Will & Grace fan myself."

As the Daily Mail reports, Cattrall's metallic dress started bunching up 'round her rear end, forcing Kim to cheekily dig out the material from in between her very toned ass, all the while winking. But Kim didn't stop surprising the crowd by allegedly telling reporters at a previous premiere that she "hopes we get to come back and make another." Which is very sweet, but judging from the NY Daily News' report from the scene, a repeat performance of the mob scene isn't something we'd like to see anytime soon:

"Organizers of the celeb-studded event overbooked the 6,000-seat theater, leaving bounced fans fuming. The angry crowd surged against police barricades, cursing and stomping their Manolo Blahniks."

Even Chris Noth, who's still clinging to that charming rep like a security blanket, blowing kisses to the furious crowd did little to numb the pain. As one fan said, "We waited in line 21/2 hours. I guess we'll go drink a Cosmo or five now." Which is quite possibly the saddest comment made by a woman we've ever heard.

And of course, there were the requisite horrendous fashion choices, notably made by Ashley Olsen in pants so oversized she could have comfortably fit both herself and MK inside, plus Jennifer Hudson's decision to shove approximately 95% of her breasts in photographers' faces and, unsurprisingly, legendary SATC wardrobe wench Pat Fields sporting what may be the most cringeworthy combination of purple and red hair dye we've seen to date. To be fair, dressing horribly is sort of her "thing," so we'll go ahead and forgive the kookiest of all kooky stylists.

[Photo credits: Wireimage, Getty, Splash]

• KIM CATTRALL ON THE 'SEX AND THE CITY' MOVIE: 'I HOPE WE GET TO MAKE ANOTHER' [Us]
• 'SEX AND THE CITY' PREMIERE TURNS UGLY [NYDN]

As we learned last week, Carrie makes her Big Wedding announcement all shyly to her harem over fancy brunch, and now we learn that Big not only agrees to marry her, he will also buy her a Manhattan castle in the sky. What she'll do there all day, and why she would possibly require the aid of an assistant, still isn't clear. Though we suspect it will involve a whole lot of self-conscious, self-referential, self-revelatory self-obsession. Of note: Kim Cattrall is suspiciously absent from all three leaked clips thus far. Is this yet another of Sarah Jessica Parker's passive aggressive attacks on her allegedly troublesome co-star? Or does she die a very Scream-like death in the first few minutes? We can only hope.

• 'SEX AND THE CITY' MOVIE CLIPS HIT THE WEB [Us]

What is it about London that makes otherwise prim actresses turn into girls gone wild? At last night’s premiere of SATC: The Movie across the pond, sex book author and Police Academy alum Kim Cattrall decided to do away with those pesky accessories we’re all (aside from Britney) forced to wear in public: her shoes. The good news? As Cameron Diaz proved at the premiere of Charlie’s Angels, walking the red carpet barefoot attracts some great press. The bad? Cattrall’s shoe-less night on the town revealed the most frightening pair of tootsies we’ve seen in recent memory, and Kim’s reported late-night behavior was eerily reminiscent of the night Renee Zellweger painted London red last month.

After prancing properly down the red carpet in a pair of sky-high Gucci heels, Kim initially headed to the premiere's after-party in a less painful pair of gold sandals. But after reportedly staying at the fête longer than any of her co-stars, she exited Renee-style sans any shoes at all. And despite a remarkably flawless pedicure, this close-up reveals some severe skeletons in her closet: a case of zombie feet that remind us of Paris Hilton's infamous "sinewy" size 11s. Enterprising young plastic surgeons take note: while freaky feet can strike at any age, there isn't any medical technology available today that can cure this problem. Do something about it and you just might turn out to be a rich, rich person. We can think of at least two clients who'll be pounding down your door.

[Photo credits: Getty, FilmMagic]

• FIFTYSOMETHING SEX AND THE CITY STAR KIM CATTRALL KICKS OFF HER DESIGNER SHOES...AND GOES BAREFOOT IN THE CITY [Daily Mail]

"I did want an emotional roller-coaster but...Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches. It's a summer movie. Why would I want to kill anyone?"

Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie Bradshaw: Not a chance. King claims women would chase him down with torches if Big bit it, but should the show's narrator and guiding light pass on after taking a cab that oh-so-glamorously crashes into Barneys or falls victim to a cocktail poisoned by some envious Vogue staffer, enraged SATC fans would hunt down King not with torches, but things like guns and machetes.

Cynthia Nixon/Miranda Hobbes: Nah. For one thing, Nixon recently revealed the fact that she went through a cancer scare back in 2004, so killing off Nixon's most famous role to date would just be plain cruel.

Kristin Davis/Charlotte York Goldenblatt: We've already heard she magically gets pregnant against all odds, and dying after giving birth could be seen as some kind of tragic but ironic plot twist. Fans have suffered through season after season hearing about Charlotte's baby-making anxiety, so the joy they'd feel knowing Char finally reached her stereotypically feminine life goal might nullify the sadness felt should she not pull through.

Kim Cattrall/Samantha Jones: If one of the four girls is really the killed-off character in question, we'd safely place our bets on Sam for two reasons: her character was diagnosed with cancer during the last season and though we were assured she eventually beat it, that's one disease with a temper, sadly capable of returning. Secondly, Samantha is the most controversial of the four; some fans love her for behaving like a man in a woman's body and boldly suggesting sleeping with every man in Manhattan is an example of feminists' success. But others just think she's a slutty bitch.

What we really think? It's Steve's mom. She's old, demented, eats garbage and despite being played by the worshipped and adored Anne Meara, it's just her character's time. Plus, Meara's take on the role is delightfully hateful: a beer-swilling, old-fashioned crazy kook whose voice makes us cringe.

• 'SEX AND THE CITY' DIRECTOR ADDRESSES DEATH RUMOR [CNN]

There were a lot of nauseating elements of this show, what with all the shoe analogies and shit, which is perhaps why they made everything so pink, so as to simulate a giant spoonful of Pepto Bismol.

And speaking of pink:

Dude has on a pink shirt with floral cuffs, and he's FREAKING out about SJP. I think it's safe to say that this is the gayest this guy has acted since he started having anal sex with other men.

They actually made it a point to acknowledge the other gay men in the audience as well.

None of them are nearly as fun as Pinky though.

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

As SJP remarked today, and has alluded to more times than we care to remember, her marriage to awkward sex scene partner Matthew Broderick isn't all that peachy keen: "I'm sure there are many times he wishes he wasn't with me...Sometimes I'm better at it, sometimes I'm really bad at it. There are things about it I like and I want it to work." Well! There are things she likes about it, which is just great. Maybe once in a while he gives in and succumbs to her repeated requests to revisit their shared Broadway past and participate in an off-tune duet from her breakout role in Annie or something? Hey, it's something.

As for Kim, well, she's really scraping the barrel by piping in with yet another quote or two regarding those age-old tales suggesting she was stalling the movie's production and being an all-around diva: "If you're spending 18 hours a day at work, the last thing you want to do is go and have a drink with the people who you just [spent the day with]. You just need to get away." Which, ironically, is how we're starting to feel about the upcoming flick. Having spent month after month hearing all this bitching and moaning from all four stars, do we really want to go and spend money to spend two hours straight with them? We might just need to get away, too.

• SARAH JESSICA PARKER TALKS ABOUT MARITAL ISSUES [Dotspotter]
• KIM CATTRALL SPEAKS OUT ABOUT 'SEX & THE CITY' HULLABALOO [Starpulse]

1) Where's The Classic Foursome Shot?: Yes, SJP is the star (and one of the EPs) of the series. But to feature only her on the poster is not only a slap in the face to her co-stars, each of whom are reduced to credits only, but confirms those rumors that SJP "demanded" that only she be the face of the poster. So congrats, Sarah Jessica. We get it. Kudos. You just didn't have to (literally) shove that fact in our face, k?

2) The Font's Angle Wouldn't Give Us A Headache...If We Were Stoned: How edgy! The credits, the title, and even SJP's stance is all wonkily crooked to the point where any effort we might have taken to read the small script would require tilting our heads to the side and squinting. Which really isn't fun at all. What's the point? New York is like, wild? Something more profound, like the girls are teetering on the edge of adulthood (a stage we're pretty sure we reached by Season Two)?

3) Pat Fields Has Officially Reached The Height Of Tackiness: From time to time, SATC costume designer and notoriously eccentric stylist Pat Fields has come through with a killer ensemble for the leading ladies. Sure, no "normal" girl could pull them off, but cinematically, they worked. And yet. We don't care if that blue smock is made of the purest crushed blue sapphires sourced straight from Burma; all we see is a shaggy shapeless rug. And don't get us started on the black fishnets. Really? No, really?

[Photo credit: WB/New Line via Firstshowing.net]

• EXCLUSIVE: FINAL 'SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE' POSTER [FinalShowing.net]

Since Nixon, mother of two, started her four-year relationship with education activist Christine Marinoni, Nixon's children had to adjust from the standard Mommy and Daddy household to the more modern two-mom arrangement. And as Nixon explains, she most often answers to "Mommy" and the shorter-haired Christine is known as "Mom." But confusion still abounds: "Sometimes my son says 'Mom!' and it's obvious he means both of us." In any case, relationships lasting this long are a rarity in Hollywood, and we're glad Nixon's found a way to make the gossip-attracting union last. While the timing of her announcement is slightly suspect (Nixon was diagnosed in 2006, and SATC: The Movie comes out next month), we're going to give her the benefit of the doubt and applaud her for telling her story at a time when she's guaranteed to get the most press. Manipulative? Who cares. The bigger an audience she has, the better.

• GOOD MORNING AMERICA [ABC]

1) The Big/Carrie Engagement and Charlotte Pregnancy Rumors Are True: Whether or not the wedding scene featuring a psychotic peacock hair piece and Bride of Frankenstein dress is only part of a dream sequence, sources tell the Post that Carrie does in fact get engaged to Big. And despite adopting a trendy Asian baby, Charlotte does manage to get knocked up once and for all. Even more interesting in the realm of plotlines, Miranda and Steve's blissful Brooklyn marriage hits the skids over claims of infidelity. Which makes sense in a My Wife Likes Girls kind of way, we hope.

2) There Will Be Stunt Cameos Galore: New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg may have given up on that whole Presidency thing, but he hasn't thrown in the acting towel. The billionaire mayor is only one of several New York-y cameos, including some by co-star Jennifer Hudson's Oscar night ruiner Andre Leon Talley of Vogue, and the indecipherable fashion world darling, photographer Patrick Demarchelier. And though we're sure their on-screen presence is big and beautiful, we find it hard to believe that stiletto-wearing fans in the Bible Belt will know who the hell they are.

3) You Will Not Be Able To Afford A Single Thing You See: Longtime followers of the girls' diamond-decorated lives have always been frustrated by Carrie's ability to don designer gowns and afford spacious apartments on the Upper East Side on a freelance writer's salary, and the girls' lifestyles are even more mythical in the movie. We're talking YSL gowns, beach houses in LA, and the fact that "every day the girls wore real jewels estimated at $2.5 million." Who knew putting out a book of old newspaper columns could rack in the dough? Think we could finally buy up Barney's by scraping together a few blog posts on Scientology and bikini pictures? We're looking into it.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• IT'S BIG [NY Post]

Not everything is sexy in the city. Sources tell Star that Kim Cattrall was such a diva to work with on the Sex and the City movie that her costars are getting a secret bonus for dealing with Kim's prima donna behavior.

An insider tells Star, "Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon are getting a 'hush-hush' bonus for not being divas during filming and as a thank-you for putting up with Kim."

While it may seem overgenerous to offer your stars a cash gift over and above a sizable salary merely for dealing with something as Hollywood-commonplace as a difficult castmate, sometimes an appreciative gift accompanied with a thoughtful note along the lines of, "This is for you to buy something nice and hopefully forget about that miserable bitch. Love, Your friends at SatC:tM!" is just the right grace note to secure their return should the movie warrant a sequel.

• Bonuses For SATC's Kristin And Cynthia [Star]

In today's episode: Diane Lane; Katherine Heigl, Josh Kelley, and Sara Ramirez; Kirsten Dunst; Alex Trebek; Cynthia Nixon and Rob Schneider; Rose McGowan; Jonah Hill; Dominic Monaghan; Alice Cooper; Wilmer Valderrama; Rich Sommer; and Blake Lewis.

· 12/8 - Diane Lane and daughter, both looking lovely with similar pixie cuts, braving the holiday madness at the Century City mall Saturday evening. I immediately started searching to see if hubby Josh Brolin was around - damn that man is having a fantastic year - but sadly he was nowhere to be seen.

· Walking out of the Variety screening of JUNO at the Arclight on Tuesday, I saw Katherine Heigl (with Josh Kelley) and Sara Ramirez (with unnamed man). It looked like they were double dating. Sara was thinner than I expected but it was incredibly refreshing to see two working actresses who wouldn't fall over if a stiff breeze came along.

· I saw Kirsten Dunst at the Arclight around 4:30 pm on Saturday, December 8th. No make-up on, looks exactly like you'd think she would. Not very tall and she was in heels. Very thin and absolutely no butt to speak of. She was with an older producer-type gentleman. Thought they'd head in to the theaters, but they made their way up the ramp towards the restaurant. I mentioned that they could've picked a better place to eat to my friend, to which she responded, "She doesn't eat."

· Friday, December 7th at 12:45 p.m. fellow-Canuck, Alex Trebek at the Sherman Oaks Galleria on Ventura Blvd. God only knows what the Canadian Quizmaster was doing in that pathetic excuse for a mall; then again I was headed to Paul Mitchell. The gent was sporting two nondescript brown-paper shopping bags; sans adequate labeling for further prying eyes. Maybe PF Chang's takeout - so ending the mystery once and for all.

· It seemed like a slow Monday night at Chinois on Main in Santa Monica until Cynthia Nixon and two other dykish gals walked in for a bite. Shortly after Rob Schneider and a group of 3 came in as well. I'm sure they all ordered the fish!

· And in the random sighting of the month, saw Rose McGowan in the Aaron Brothers framing outlet on Sunset and Western, Sunday afternoon.

· Dec 9 - Mr. Superbad Jonah Hill entertaining a table of Los Feliz's finest hipsters...recomended: half pastrami and half franch dip.

· On Tuesday, December 10 I went to the Blick Art Store on Beverly Blvd. to pick up some molding hooks. Walked in and spied Now-Dead Lostaway & Hobbit Dominic Monaghan waiting in line to purchase spraypaint. When he finally got to an available cash register to pay, the cashier gal (who clearly had no idea who he was) saw the spraypaint, looked at him, and asked if he was eighteen. His reply? "I have a beard!" Awesome exchange to see, especially knowing that now-unemployed Dominic is either a tagger or a huffer.

· Funny sighting sunday at the Rose Bowl flea market... Alice Cooper, accompanied by a cute young woman (a daughter maybe?). They were very cool, and super nice to the dealer..but here's the funny part: they were debating between buying a box of "Jesus Wheaties" or a box of "Hitler-O's". Some kind of vintage gag cereal items, I guess. They ultimately went with the Hitler-O's. And they didn't even haggle over the price. Oh and Alice looks pretty good, for being like 200 yrs old.

· Saturday 12/8 I spotted Fez aka Wilmer "i like young thangs" Valderrama at the Bev Center with a gaggle of teenage darlings sporting the various requisite westside teen uniform of leggings, newsboy caps, and handbags that are five times bigger than their heads. ok so i wear that crap too but i drive a camry and they probably drive range rovers. color me jealous.

· 12/8/07 - Saw Rich Sommer ("Harry Crane" from "Mad Men" and "Other Guy" from "Devil Wears Prada") at the Ralph's at Burbank and Van Nuys, buying a wee half-pint of store-brand heavy cream (which he carried out in-hand...perhaps too eco-conscious to take a bag for one item...or just very proud of his purchase). I don't think I've ever actually seen anyone buy heavy cream, even out here in the backwater Valley. He looked thinner than on TV, though, so the cream isn't doing any damage, I guess. He was alone, sort of distracted and fidgety, wearing glasses, and very, very tall.

· At LaLa's on Melrose Saturday night (12/8) and who should boisterously enter and sit down at the table next to us? American Idol runner-up Blake Lewis, of course. He acted as though he really wanted to be recognized. However, I saw no fan approaches. Sorry Blake, maybe you'll read this and feel better.

Cynthia McFadden: Well some of what has come in the last years has been great, some of it hasn t been your favorite thing I suspect Front page headlines...

Cynthia Nixon: It s been OK. It s been OK.

McFadden: Has it seemed unfair?

Nixon: No. I think people have been pretty good I have to say. I mean, you know, its thank god the world in which were living in. People, they understand and they re pretty respectful.

McFadden: Well that s good to hear. You know an old friend of mine says if you can live through the thing you think you can t and survive

Nixon: Yeah

McFadden: The rest of life is a cakewalk.

Nixon: Yeah

McFadden: Was ?

Nixon: No, this was nothing I thought I couldn t survive. I mean, it was a little crazy being on the front page of the paper, and I had photographers outside my house for a day or two, but, it wasn t so bad.

Clearly, McFadden was looking for some camera-friendly waterworks, but Nixon had no intention of playing along. Had ABC assigned the interview to their far more skilled celebrity manipulator Barbara Walters, Nixon would have found herself quickly choking on her own despondent sobs when an innocuous conversation about breakfast rituals was expertly redirected into a pointed inquiry regarding the first time she "looked into a bathroom mirror and saw a lying mother staring back."

• Cynthia Nixon discusses her lesbian partner on "Nightline." [ABCNews.com]