To be fair, Mischa—recently out of the crazy bin—is almost the worst part of this new soap, followed closely by Elle Macpherson (looking haggard and acting even worse), but the rest of it managed to be pretty and moody and different and fun! The first scene alone was awesome just for being visually interesting and advancing the action of an all-out model war without being hammy or heavy-handed. Don't get us wrong, it's no Mad Men or The Wire, but the premiere far outdid the new Melrose Place.

Life (sorry, CW, no matter how hard you try, we are not going to let TBL happen) is a bit like Gossip Girl for a slightly older crowd, but with less money and more drugs. Barton plays Sonja, a super model who is on her way out thanks to taking a few months off (we find out later that she ran off to have a baby). Her spotlight is stolen in the first scene by Raina, who also steals the heart of Chris, an Iowa farm boy who gets discovered by a smarmy model agent while on vacation in New York. Chris faces off against Cole, a nasty little model who doesn't want to be unseated as the king of all Blue Steel. Also with the blues,High School Musical's Corbin Bleu is Isaac, a former child model who wants to be a DJ but settles for being a gigolo (three very stable career choices there, Isaac) and Marissa is just hot and British. They all live together in a model house, except Sonja who has money of her own.

But this was a great first episode, quickly establishing the characters and their motives, cluing us in on the secrets to come, engaging in some bitchy duplicity, and having enough sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll to make us come back. Also, it's shot in a great style, that is full of the glamorous darkness that isn't often found outside of nightclubs and fashion magazines.

The show got about 1.5 million viewers which isn't too shabby for the CW, but it lost half of it's America's Next Top Model lead in. Did anyone else check it out? Should we start giving this thing the full recap treatment, or just leave it by the wayside as another fun trifle that can't keep our attention for that long (we're looking at you new 90210)?

Never mind 90210 actress Shenae Grimes, who, well, stinks. Drake, who was born Aubrey Drake Graham, actually has talent. For true! And, more than that, he's doing quite well.

His single "Best I Ever Had" was number one on Billboard's R&B and rap charts. And another single, "Successful," reached number three. Numbers, of course, don't make the man, so let's examine the aforementioned tracks.

First, "Best I Ever Had." Yes, this song's about how some "ho" absolutely wants Drake's bizness, but, despite the egotistical bravado, "Best" actually comes across as rather sweet: "You can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice." Awww, our cold heart's thawing!

Now, "Successful." We've included the video above. While Drake does sing about wanting hoes, money and cars, he also warns "too much will kill ya." There's no room for greed here, for modest success, he insists, quite charmingly, is far more important. Being ostentatious simply isn't for him. He's far too sensitive.
Even if you disagree with our take on this, hopefully you can agree the 22-year old far outshines his formerDegrassi castmates. This is assuming, of course, that the CW's Vampire Diaries, which stars another Degrassi actress, Nina Dobrev, will suck. Which it will.

Regardless of your opinion, there's no doubt Drake will get far in the wild world of music. He's already worked with the annoying-yet-talented Kanye, musical genius Lil Wayne, Eminem and Trey Songz. If that combination can't help him beat the competition, nothing will.

That doesn't matter for The CW, that constantly floundering mash-up of the now-deceased WB and UPN networks, because no one watches any of their shows and at least people talk endlessly about GG. They've also renewed a slate of programs that you thought had been canceled long ago, like Supernatural (about witch-hunting gay brothers who are in gay love with each other), Smallville (about how easy it is to get lost in Tom Welling's eyes), and One Tree Hill (about old people wandering around North Carolina looking for the bus stop).

OK, you can now continue completely ignoring the CW. Except for Gossip Girl. I'll make sure you pay attention to that.

Jennie Garth had her own take on the matter, telling People:

Since you started the new 90210, who did the fans want the father to be?
It’s funny because everyone who was a fan of the original show has an opinion about who Kelly ended up with. I had been so detached from it for so long that I was like, I don’t even know how the show left it off. Had she gone away with Brandon or Dylan? I remember that one time when she said, ‘I choose me,’ which was really great. That was hilarious to me. I’d have to say it’s 50/50–it’s either Brandon or Dylan. Everyone wanted to know who the father was, and you know, I’d say it could be Steve Sanders or it could be Nat from the Peach Pit. You don’t know.

...How do you think the fans will react to the news?
Either way, whether the son was Brandon’s or Dylan’s, the fans will be excited. Because that’s a direct connection with what they want–the original show. And those characters from the original show are seared into those old hardcore fans’ mind, and to have that connection and to have that tie-in, they’re going to love it. And they’re going to analyze everything that little kid does. He has no idea what he’s gotten himself into.

Seriously! Shouldn't that little boy have sideburns out to here by now?

• 90210[The CW]

Now we have 90210. And, new on the CW: Privileged. As Robert Bianco writes for USA Today: "What an odd America CW inhabits. As far as CW is concerned these days, we all live in a land where most everyone is white, wealthy and incredibly, well, privileged." But one of the most popular shows on the CW has a diverse mix of racial and socio-economic backgrounds, with men, women, blacks, whites, Latins, gays, straights and "fiercees" all working together: America's Next Top Model.

It's not strange that Tyra's show appeals to women of all demographics — my mom loves it, and it definitely has a strong teen following — because it's campy fun while still showcasing real human personalities faced with real challenges. Not the ridiculous photo shoots: The tasks that teach the contestants things like honesty, confidence and self-awareness. Of course, the makeup and pretty clothes can't be denied.

But makeup and pretty clothes aren't enough, which is why Privileged seems to fall flat. (USA Today's Bianco calls it "a second-rate imitation" of Gossip Girl, with "clunky jokes, overwrought performances and a tone that implies we're actually supposed to care.") As for 90210, Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker calls it the "Sarah Palin" of TV Shows: "Its main purpose is to remind you of a trusty old product while adding some new vigor and soap opera to the cultural discourse." (Meanwhile, Gossip Girl is earning pretty good ratings so far this season.)

But the real question is: Why can't the CW network take some of the multi-culti, LBGT-friendly vibes Tyra brings to America's Next Top Model and sprinkle them in the rest of the whitewashed (except for Everybody Hates Chris) prime time programming? CW network president Dawn Ostroff tells AdAge that she is looking for a new head of reality. And she says: "Our primary goal each season is to develop shows that fit with the CW's brand identity, connect with our core female viewers and help create audience flow across the week. And 90210 accomplished each those perfectly." Hear that? Adopted black kids (who happen to be jocks!) are "perfect."

'Privileged': The Kids Are All White, And Kind Of Shallow, Too [USA Today]
Family Drama, the CW Way [AdAge]
CW Dazzles in Prime With Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill [MediaWeek]
90210 Review [EW]

• America's Next Top Model [The CW]

He said: "Am I looking forward to it? Er, I'm intrigued by it. I think, like, I'm intrigued by it, sure.'

When asked if he'd like to rejoin his former co-stars Shannon Doherty and Jennie Garth on the show, Jason bluntly replied: 'Er, not really no.'

And when a reporter asked if he believed the show should have been brought back, he said simply: 'It's none of my business, really is it?'

How can Priestly give such a cavalier brush-off to the franchise that an appreciative Tori Spelling is so desperate to re-join? Perhaps he caught the pilot episode cameo from a similarly hirsute Mark the Cobrasnake and decided it'd take a lot more facial hair (and a few more "mega-burgers") before a return appearance from Brandon Walsh would show those peach-fuzzed youngsters how a real man learns valuable lessons in under sixty minutes.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• No close shave for 90210's Jason Priestley as he lets his heartthrob status slip [Daily Mail]

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Okay, but back to the fistfight: fact or fiction?...
DOHERTY: No, we never punched each other.
GARTH: Scratching? I'm not going to deny that.

More excerpts (and salacious sexual revelations) after the jump!

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: For the new 90210, you were both involved with determining where Kelly and Brenda were in their lives. Jennie, the producers initially wanted Kelly to be a West Beverly Hills High School board member, right? How did she become a guidance counselor?
GARTH: I didn't want to be on the show for no reason. I wanted to have some value. When Gabe and [exec producer] Jeff [Judah] told me some of the things they were doing, I was like, ''Whoa. That is not 90210, people.''...
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: What kinds of things?
DOHERTY: All I know is there's a girl giving a guy a b—- job in the first episode.
GARTH: When they told me that, I thought, Aaron Spelling is rolling over in his grave right now.

Dare we dream that Lucille Bluth is the loose woman in question? That's right, CW: Bluthwatch '08 continues! But then, this tidbit concerning the initial Garth/Doherty reunion:

GARTH: There had been so much buildup. Everyone was asking me before what it was going to be like. I was like, ''I don't know. I haven't talked to her in 10 or 15 years.'' I had that tension and I started to let it get to me. Is she going to be nice? Is it going to be a bad environment? But when I saw her everything was fine. [To Shannen] I was going to call you and tell you this — I got your number from Gabe [Sachs, 90210 producer] but I never called.

Jennie, Jennie, Jennie! Have you still not learned to use a phone after the Tori debacle? We know that the kids today have moved onto Sidekicks and iPhones, but sheesh: can't somebody hand the girl an oversized 90's cell phone she feels familiar with?

• '90210''s Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth: The EW Reunion [EW]

boomp3.com

It was business as usual on the Brooklyn set of the popular CW series Gossip Girl as stars Leighton Meester and Blake Lively engaged in yet another catfight to boost cast and crew morale after a long and tiresome day of production. Meester and Lively feel like the occasional bout of hair-pulling and pillow fighting sets a good example for the other cast members and are reportedly encouraging their co-stars Taylor Momsen and Michelle Trachtenberg to follow suit. Lively said, "The grips and gaffers seem to get a real kick out of it which helps. The makeup people, not so much, but it really helps you get into the scene. Like a shot of adrenaline into the heart."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

First, a closer look at the "sexy" ads in question, which include pull-quotes suggesting just how much closer potential viewers will get to the cool kids' table. Watching this show is so dangerous! Your parents will have nightmares just thinking about the (sort of) short skirts Blair wears! Do the nasty!

Sadly, progressively heightening a show's sex appeal with ever-so-slightly hotter ads might not be the wisest move. After Buffy got the shove-off to the vintage UPN, Sarah Michelle Gellar was photographed posing in that trademark Cosmo cover stance, suggestively, maybe, possibly, on the verge of masturbation. One season later, and the series' ashes lived on in that icky spin-off Angel. As for Beverly Hills: 90210, the standard smiley group shot used in promos rarely veered far off course. But once Season 10 wheezed its final pointless breath, Donna and her new boobs sat front and center, Kelly was forced to be groped by New Brandon Replacement #47, and Steve Sanders was permitted to play "sexy" while raising a risqué, black denim-clad leg around New Brenda Replacement #287. And the poor OC decided that turning Marissa into a lesbian wasn't quite sordid enough, so the previously wholesome ads ended, along with the series, with uber-tanned Mischa pushing whatever boobage she had together in the sand, while Ryan appeared ready to give her the old in-and-out from behind (Chino-style!).

Oops. After the sight of Rachel and Monica passionately making out giving each other a friendly peck failed to increase ratings for Dirt, some genius thought the image of Courteney Cox covered in actual dirt (get it?!) would do the trick. But rather than getting new viewers all hot and bothered, everyone just felt, well, dirty (get it?! Sigh.) Finally, the recently canceled L Word used a rather obvious promotional image by shoving all the chic lipstick lesbians together in one big ol' nude orgy party. The problem with this image? See the previous sentence (specifically, the "canceled" part).

• OMG! CHECK OUT THE SEXY NEW 'GOSSIP GIRL' ADS! [People]

boomp3.com



Penny, the dog of Gossip Girl star Blake Lively exacted her revenge for what the dog perceived to be a rather lackluster finale for the freshmen CW series. Lively exclaimed, "Look at what you did to mommy's outfit? Why would you do that to mommy's outfit?" Penny just jumped around and barked insistently as Lively tried to find out why her dog acted out. Lively asked her dog if she was upset about having to be on the set of Gossip Girl, which received no barks. Then Lively asked if her dog felt uncomfortable about being crated in the bathroom whenever Lively left the house. The dog barked in a way to indicate that was sort of the problem, but not the biggest problem. Lively then asked if Penny objected to the direction that show was going in for the next season, which got the biggest bark from Penny. Picking Penny up from the ground, Lively explained to the dog that she doesn't have any control over that and she will not "pull a 'Heigl" any time soon.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Facts of Life, 1979-88: The Eastland School
With character names like Tootie, Blair and Sue Ann, a token Poor But Smart Black Student from the Bronx, and plot lines involving housemothers dishing out advice to sex-crazed pre-teens and spoiled kids from New York, NBC’s spin-off of Diff’rent Strokes actually portrayed life at boarding school as close to reality as we’ve seen on television. Especially considering the long-running show’s depiction of various characters’ adult lives in the final season: one ends up in New York banging a guy named Snake, and another is banging a “musician” named Rick. If boarding school teaches girls one thing, it’s that pansy pop-collared preppy boys do not a proper sex life make.

Zoey 101, 2005-present: Pacific Coast Academy
Possibly the most off-the-mark vision of boarding school ever portrayed on TV, the Juno Lynn Spears-starring, California-set Nickelodeon “comedy” gets it wrong in oh so many ways, and allow us to count just a few samples: boarding school girls do not have trashy highlights, boarding school boys do not wear muscle tees, boarding school kids pop Adderall and fly cocaine in using their dad’s private jet rather than sipping “energy drinks” for adrenaline, and most importantly, boarding school is not “funny.”

Breaker High, 1998-99: Breaker High
Oh dear. Falling somewhere in between Facts and Zoey, this UPN bomb took place on, yes, a cruise ship. What sounds like one idiotic producer's idea to use this format in order to implement exotic locales and the darndest things foreigners say is simply, just...no. But! In one episode, all the classmates get Hepatitis-A. This sounds right — STDs and illnesses both expertly faked or intentionally caused in order to skip class and sleep off hangovers at the infirmary is pretty rampant at the real deals. Plus, Ryan Gosling was in it! As a “missing member of the brat pack” who conned bitchy girls! Far too many of these exist from Andover to Exeter and every country club campus in between.

[Photo credits: TV.com, Nick.com, Fortune City]

• 'GOSSIP GIRL' PRODUCERS EYE SPIN-OFF [THR]

With less inventory to leverage and no ratings story to speak of, CW was in a "great position to get fleeced," as one rival network ad sales exec observed. But advertisers bucked convention wisdom of just a month ago by committing to TV in a big way, even as overall marketing budgets are being curtailed, in many cases, as a hedge against the economic slowdown. ...

[G]eneral enthusiasm among buyers for CW's 2008-09 sked and its planned "90210" update allowed the netlet to command 8% rate increases for its Monday-Friday primetime spots. CW also still has a hand in selling the time for the Sunday block that [Media Rights Capital] will take over in September, so the net's final tally of ad revenue will increase when that money is eventually factored in.

Among the chief buyers, according to Variety: "Theatrical pics, retail outlets, wireless service providers and health and beauty products," whose executives' kindness will be rewarded for the first time ever by handwritten notes from Blake Lively herself, thanking them for their unflagging confidence in B-grade soap operas and the sheer cultural influence of the teenagers-fucking marketplace. Said a CW spokesman: "We are pleased." Aren't. We. All.

• CW scores cash in changing market [Variety]

As the promo’s only familiar face (that is, besides Lucille Bluth), Lori Loughlin is given plenty of face time to explain her role as the show's matriarch, who’s a “contemporary modern-day mom...she’s as cool as her children!” You mean, like the moms on The OC, right? And the new Kelly-like popular girl has cheap highlights, a rebellious side, and a father who watches her every move as the high school principal. Reminds us of...Reese Witherspoon’s headmaster dad in Cruel Intentions? Finally, we get to see a spotty montage of the new crew’s stomping ground outside the classrooms, showing all the stoner cliques, international subsets, and sunglasses-sporting cool kid crowds decorating West Bev’s entrance. Wait we know this one...just like the As If scene from Clueless! So basically we can expect a weak rendition of Clueless Intentions: The Real Orange County, as brought to you by Disney.

• WATCH A CLIP OF THE '90210' SPIN-OFF [Us]

As we previously reported, the first cast member to join the Walsh-esque "Mills" family was 22-year old Dustin Milligan, who'll play the Dylan-y role of too-cool-for-the-cool-crowd Ethan. Which is fine, if not exciting, because he's cute and shaggy-haired and Canadian. Priestley was Canadian, so here's hoping. And last week, we learned that uber-fox AnnaLynne McCord of Nip/Tuck signed on to play Naomi, who's (surprise) "hot and rich." We're guessing she's an updated Kelly Taylor.

But before we get to Duff, it must be repeated that none other than Pregnant Belly Model Tori Spelling has repeatedly expressed interest in returning to the one show that, well, anyone remembers her being in. Unfortunately for the knocked-up inn keeper, producers have instead decided to go with Jennie Garth, who's rumored to reprise her original character, having morphed from a potential model to a...high school fashion teacher? What a success story. And finally, news that Hilary Duff will possibly star in the series as an emo-loving theater chick who just can't help being "cute as a button." Now if only Joe E. Tata (aka The Pit's "Nat") could pop in as some kind of elderly homeless dude who spends his time on Sunset dishing out prophecies and tales of the "good old times" to the new West Bev kids, we're officially booking this show into our regular Tivo schedule stat.

• EXCLUSIVE! HILARY DUFF TO STAR IN NEW '90210'? [E! News]

"'She was pushed off the show,' says a snitch. 'Leighton didn't like her, and she went.'"

As Gossip Girl fans know, Leighton's character Blair Waldorf rules the private school, and Meester portrays the girl we all hated during high school flawlessly. But Zhang's alleged decision to pursue homework instead of Hollywood just sounds fishy, especially considering the age-old conspiracy theory that minorities always get kicked to the curb first in horror movies. Though Meester's rep is obviously claiming there's absolutely no truth to what sources told the New York Daily News, we have to wonder if playing a serious bitch on-screen has finally gone to Leighton's head. After all, she's been pounding the Hollywood pavement for years before finally getting her big break, only to be usurped by the show's breakaway star, Blake Lively. Could a Serena Van Woodsen Goes Back To Rehab, Never Heard From Again storyline be far away?

[Photo Credit: Getty]

• A 'GOSSIP GIRL' DROPOUT - OR DID LEIGHTON MEESTER PUSH HER OUT? [NYDN]