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Forgetting Sarah Marshall star Jonah Hill's initial baby steps into a regular work out routine were thwarted by a nosy photographer. Hill politely asked if the photographer could leave him alone, seeing as how Hill had successfully finished his first block. Unfortunately for all parties involved, the photographer said no and offered Hill the halfway melted Snickers bar in his SUV. Hill continued on his walk, but the ever-persistent photog asked if Hill wanted to make a run to Crumbs in Beverly Hills, adding in that it would be his treat. Hill sighed and continued on with his power walk, then muttered, "Any other day, I'd be there. But you know, I'm working hard not to be the Artie Lange of the Apatow gang."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

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This photograph of Katherine Heigl was taken after she received word that once again she was the punch line of a joke on gossip site. She then proceeded to eat all the sweets that the craft services table had to offer, including one quickly devoured Hostess cupcake. Reportedly, Heigl phoned her friend and asked why she would be the victim of constant attacks. "I'm a good person. I'm not perfect, but I'm a pretty decent person," Heigl was overheard saying. "Just ask Joshua."

[Photo Credit: INF]

The longtime Hilton sidekick, even in what should be her moment in the celebrity jurisprudence spotlight, continues to be overshadowed by her larger-than-life friend, earning a mere 96 hours of jail time for the DUI, six of which she's already credited for serving on the night of her arrest. Worst of all, we fear that her brief trip to prison will pass with so little fanfare that not even the most publicity-craving of luxury baked goods concerns will bother to send over a box of red velvet cupcakes, the ultimate commentary on the state of one's fading tabloid career.

• Nicole Richie sentenced to 90 hours in jail [CNN]
• Previously: An Important Update On The Contents Of Nicole Richie's Uterus [Defamer]

A spokeswoman for L.A. City Councilman Jack Weiss told us yesterday that his office had received more than 50 complaints from residents during her brief respite from captivity.

"Most concerned noise from the five helicopters that handled the live coverage of her one day at home," said the rep. "Other issues involved overcrowding and space issues, because the street is very narrow, doesn't have sidewalks and has no parking."

The LAPD, Department of Transportation and Department of Street Services are bracing for her expected return next week. "There are no plans to force her out of her home," says the spokeswoman, "but action is being taken to minimize the annoyance of other occupants."

Sensing that his impotent response to the previous Hilton crisis alienated the constituents he's sworn to protect, West Hollywood Mayor Pro Tem Jeffrey Prang will soon announce his plans to supplement the LAPD's crowd-control efforts, promising to dispatch WeHo's elite, if little used, SWAT team to manage the situation. They'll be under strict orders to bring down with a hail of rubber bullets any interloper attempting to deliver a "Welcome Home, Paris" basket of cupcakes, a strategy that should help to crush any street-clogging, baked-goods-related insurgency near Hilton's compound.

• Irate nabes get set for Hilton check-in [Gatecrasher]
• Previously: WeHo Mayor Feels Your Paris Hilton-Related Pain [Defamer]

• City Bakery to Paris: Get-Out-of-Jail Spice Cake [Eater LA]
• Previously: Hilton Home-ImprisonmentWatch: First Luxury Baked Goods Arrive [Defamer]

The most exciting moment was about 10:30 a.m. when a Mrs. Beasley's Gourmet Cupcakes van pulled up and Anthony Crisafulli delivered three containers of the treats to the house.

"She hasn't eaten well while she's been away," Crisafulli said, noting that Hilton had called the Beverly Hills store this morning. She is a regular customer, he said, noting her favorite cupcakes are strawberry and mocha.

Mrs. Beasly's comforting presence eases our anxieties about the conditions of Hilton's home-imprisonment. Thankfully, the terms of her house arrest seem flexible enough to allow the psychologically fragile inmate the kinds of comforts so cruelly withheld from her during her "five" day stint in Lynwood, a compassionate policy that will perhaps forestall a psychotic episode in which Hilton skins alive, and then devours, her beloved kinkajou as she struggles with her loss of freedom.

[Photo:AP]

• A media circus outside Paris' house [LAT]
• Previously: Orlando Bloom Latest Casualty Of Bloody Cupcake War [Defamer]

Subj: Orlando Bloom Enlists in Cupcake Wars In Hollywood's ongoing "Cupcake Wars," baker to the stars Mrs. Beasley's wins a battle when Orlando Bloom stopped into the Beverly Hills store this week for the must have accessory for Summer, the Beasley's Popper. One wonders if Bloom will share the dozens of new mini cupcakes he bought with his cast mates at the "Pirates of the Caribbean" premieres next week. Paris Hilton and Kobe Bryant have also been spotted with the tasty treats.

Now that we've made ourselves pawns of Mrs. Beasly's treat-pushing forces in the "Cupcake Wars" (doesn't that mini-popper-related Paris Hilton sighting from today's PW seem a little suspicious now?) there's nothing left to do but wait and hope that some good will come of our complicity; perhaps sworn enemy Sprinkles will use the information that Orlando Bloom has "enlisted" with the competitor to advance the skirmish, anonymously e-mailing to let us know that the Pirates star's body has been found in the alley behind their Beverly Hills store, having apparently suffocated after trying to eat five of their "deadly delicious" red velvet cupcakes at once.