Here are the glaring problems with what we can see so far:

• 1. The use of the word "cougar." It's clichéd, it's lame, it's undignified. It smacks of predatory desperation. As Salon's Rebecca Traister wrote in April, "How sad and backward that we have to give it a nickname, animalize it as if it's outside the boundaries of civilized human behavior, make it a trend, pretend that Demi Moore invented it. That's not progress, and it's not a step forward for women." 'Nuff said.
• 2. Bad jokes. From the tiny bit seen in clips below, Cougar Town is not funny! Courteney's character says to a friend over the phone, "Why so pissy?" The woman answers: "I'm fat." UGH. Really? Courteney says: "No, you're not," and the woman replies, "I am. I woke up fat!" "I don't buy it," Courteney says, and then goes to the window to look at her friend who lives next door. She sees the woman in a purple nightgown and deadpans, "Wow, you look like a whore." "Thank you!" the woman enthuses. This is just the beginning. Said neighbor is super reluctant to have sex with her husband. Ha? Later, Courteney's son thinks she is hitting on him because she is talking to him while holding wine. Hilarious?
• 3.Where's the empowerment? Courteney's character makes this speech to a male neighbor: "You know what drives me nuts? Your wife moved out what, a week ago? And you're already sexing up sorority girls. But nobody cares, because when a 40-year-old guy gets divorced, all your friends are like, 'Way to go, tiger.'" She's making a point — albeit one that been made TIME AND TIME AGAIN, that there's a double standard for how older men and older women are seen. But there's no new twist, new insight, or skewering of this double standard. Maybe it's coming later? Still, one of the rules of writing for the screen is show, don't tell. Oh, and in this scene, the man replies her rant by asking, "When's the last time you got laid?" Instead of kneeing the dude in the nuts or saying, "Right, because if a woman is angry she clearly hasn't gotten enough dick," Courteney's character seems to think that yes, maybe this is the problem. Groan.
• 4. Preposterous casting. Courteney Cox is 44 and gorgeous. Beautiful face, amazing body, and in possession of millions of dollars to designate solely for upkeep. As Allure blogger Erin Flaherty points out about Brooke Shields: "Sometimes an attractive woman is just an attractive woman." When you look at Courteney, do you think, "That's what a typical American 'cougar' really looks like"? When the male neighbor says, "Maybe what really drives you nuts is that you couldn't bag a young stud if you tried," you have no choice but to roll your eyes so hard they get stuck up in your brain. She looks almost exactly like she did when she was on Friends, which is to say: Hot. The only way a "young stud" wouldn't find her sexually attractive would be if he were gay. And even then, second base seems like a possibility.
• 5. There is a way to present older, desperate, needy, messy women and have it be funny — and it's been done, on a show called Absolutely Fabulous.

But judge for yourself: Two Cougar Town clips below.

Giving It Another Go! [Perez]
Related: Sometimes An Attractive Woman Is Just An Attractive Woman [Allure]
Earlier:How Do We Survive The Cougar Attack?

First, a closer look at the "sexy" ads in question, which include pull-quotes suggesting just how much closer potential viewers will get to the cool kids' table. Watching this show is so dangerous! Your parents will have nightmares just thinking about the (sort of) short skirts Blair wears! Do the nasty!

Sadly, progressively heightening a show's sex appeal with ever-so-slightly hotter ads might not be the wisest move. After Buffy got the shove-off to the vintage UPN, Sarah Michelle Gellar was photographed posing in that trademark Cosmo cover stance, suggestively, maybe, possibly, on the verge of masturbation. One season later, and the series' ashes lived on in that icky spin-off Angel. As for Beverly Hills: 90210, the standard smiley group shot used in promos rarely veered far off course. But once Season 10 wheezed its final pointless breath, Donna and her new boobs sat front and center, Kelly was forced to be groped by New Brandon Replacement #47, and Steve Sanders was permitted to play "sexy" while raising a risqué, black denim-clad leg around New Brenda Replacement #287. And the poor OC decided that turning Marissa into a lesbian wasn't quite sordid enough, so the previously wholesome ads ended, along with the series, with uber-tanned Mischa pushing whatever boobage she had together in the sand, while Ryan appeared ready to give her the old in-and-out from behind (Chino-style!).

Oops. After the sight of Rachel and Monica passionately making out giving each other a friendly peck failed to increase ratings for Dirt, some genius thought the image of Courteney Cox covered in actual dirt (get it?!) would do the trick. But rather than getting new viewers all hot and bothered, everyone just felt, well, dirty (get it?! Sigh.) Finally, the recently canceled L Word used a rather obvious promotional image by shoving all the chic lipstick lesbians together in one big ol' nude orgy party. The problem with this image? See the previous sentence (specifically, the "canceled" part).

• OMG! CHECK OUT THE SEXY NEW 'GOSSIP GIRL' ADS! [People]

The highly anticipated film production of TV series Friends has finally been given the go-ahead, MailOnline has learned.

Cast members Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow and David Schwimmer will reprise their roles for a big-screen adaptation 'within the next 18 months', according to insiders.

A source said: 'Jennifer, Courteney and the rest of the cast are keen to reprise their roles, under the right circumstances.

'The box office success of Sex And The City has really got their wheels spinning about how a Friends film could be just as big, if done right.

Sure, all six of the onetime $1 million-per-episoders would benefit—some obviously more than others—from a B-12 shot of unqualified blockbuster movie-stardom to the ass. But before you start planning your Arclight premiere parties (does any hairdresser in the greater L.A. area still even know how to execute The Rachel? You might have to try West Covina), we'd caution that some of the other core players have yet to sign on—we're told Naked Guy wants more screen time, and Gunther "won't even get out bed for less than seven figures." Without their involvement, the picture will obviously never get off the ground.

• Friends reunited: Jennifer Aniston and the gang set to return for big-screen blockbuster [Daily Mail]

The event in question was a snoozefest charity something-or-other at STK, filled with equally snooze-y dinner companions like Cox, her lesser half David Arquette, and easy-to-break-in-half Kate Bosworth. But more interesting than Aniston and Mayer's forced smiles is the fact that the charity was in honor of philanthropist Jeffrey Sachs, who happens to be very best buds with Brad Pitt and has done more than his fair share of charity work with Angelina Jolie. With revenge photos en vogue recently, could the clever Aniston have chosen this particular night to ensure her public boy toy outing would distract the expecting Brangelina from all that fancy Chosen Two cash burning?

• JEN ANISTON, JOHN MAYER MAKE PUBLIC DEBUT [Us]

As the Mail points out, Cox was allegedly "disapproving" when it came to beefy Owen Wilson threesome enabler Vince Vaughn, and has been "protective" ever since the big bad breakup. So bringing Mayer to Cox's Malibu home for the weekend was, well, kind of like one of those tens of thousands of episodes of Friends when either Rachel or Monica would bring some new young guy back to their inexplicably large loft and give each other the thumbs up or down. So which way did Cox's recently skeletal thumb point after spending the weekend with the serial dater?

As a source told the National Enquirer, "Ahead of Aniston's introduction...a friend [said] 'John's a bit uneasy about it - it's like meeting your lover's mom for the first time. Jen laughs and tells him Courteney just wants to pinch and poke the product." And what can we do but judge for ourselves by these pictures? Sure, paps are annoying, but stars with Malibu balconies have no right to look this pissed just seeing one, as Cox does above. We suspect she's actually just spotting John twisting those bullet-shaped tits of Jen's (sorry, we simply will never, ever get over their perfection) like radio dials and attempting to serenade her with his go-to seduction move: "Chocolate Rain." Yeah, if we saw that from our deck, we'd cringe just like Courteney. If not call the LAPD's official Areola Squad, stat.

[Photo credits: X17]

• JENNIFER ANISTON TAKES HER NEW MAN TO MEET HER 'FRIENDS' [Daily Mail]

1. John Cougar Mellencamp: After releasing his breakthrough album, American Fool in 1982, John added Cougar (his original surname) to his public persona. Although he'd won a grammy with the simpler name, Scarecrow went on to receive enormous commercial success post-name change. But during the late 80s and early 90s, John went through a "dark period," which showed on later albums. Was the Cougar too vicious for John's happy-go-lucky attitude?

2. Sean "Diddy" Combs: First he was Biggie's producer Sean Combs, then he was a rapper in his own right as Puff Daddy, and after the 1999 J. Lo court drama, tried to reinvent himself as P. Diddy, only to drop the "P." during a formal announcement on The Today Show in 2005. While all this reinvention kept Combs in the press, we've never been able to figure out why all these monkers are appealing; all we unfortunately envision when we hear any number of them is the unnecessary image of Combs sitting on the john. Are we alone?

3. Prince: Perhaps the most infamous name (symbol?) alteration in history, Prince decided in 1993 that he would only be referred to in print as that unpronounceable symbol incorporating "the male and female signs along with the alchemy symbol for soapstone." Despite the bold move, talk show hosts and anyone with the unfortunate task of having to introduce him at award shows found the move troubling, and a mini-backlash ensued. Inevitably, Prince Rogers Nelson (his real name!) wisely reverted back to his original stage name in 2000.

4: Muhammed Ali: The name Cassius Clay brings up images of the greatest fighter in history, swinging like a butterfly, stingin' like a bee. But after achieving massive success as a boxer, Clay took up with Malcolm X and and the Nation of Islam, confusing the masses by taking a Muslim name and devoting his private life to serving the Prophet. Just before the change, Clay had shocked the world by defeating undefeated Sonny Liston in 1945 at just 22. But his devotion to Islam ultimately sent him to prison, and after learning he'd gotten Parkinson's, the whimsical vocalist and arguably greatest boxer in history, was tragically remembered more for his mysterious choices later in life, rather than his achievements in the ring.

5: Rebecca Romijn and Courteney Cox: On a lighter note, these two actresses officially changed their stage names to reflect their new marraiges: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Courteney Cox Arquette, respectively. While feminism is certainly all about choice, and there's nothing wrong with theirs, Bex and Court's original monikers were so alliteration-happy, we were bummed when they insisted on reflecting their hubby's boring-by-comparison last names on screen. And look what good it did Romijn, who's back to her old (way better) title? And Cox; why mess with such an excellent, boner-triggering name like that by reminding fans that she married a guy with a Salvadore Dali mustache?

6. Clay Aiken: While Claymaniacs will be delighted to know (as though they don't already) that Clay's original name still incorporated "Clay," his birth name didn't quite sound as musical as the one he chose when auditioning for Idol: Clayton Holmes Grissom. We hardly think adopting Aiken is the source of Claymania, but his new moniker does sound a bit similar to "achin," which is what we suspect the majority of Claymaniacs fantasize about feeling during their naughtiest Clay sex dreams.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

• MILEY CYRUS OFFICIALLY CHANGING NAME [AOL]

"Kate's pins reminded me of one of my favourite snacks - the Jaffa Cake."

"If [Courteney] sees these pix she'll no doubt be rushing off to the same doctor as DEMI MOORE to make hers the bee's knees.

"Judging by Eva's skinny knees she needs to put on weight. Tunnock's, send her a truckload of tea cakes."

"Heavily-pregnant JENNIFER LOPEZ proves she is a bigger star than ever as she heads for a party with her hubby — and her knobbly knees."

• SOPHIE'S GOT TOBLERONE KNEES [The Sun]

In today's episode: Catherine Keener; Leonardo DiCaprio and Kevin Connolly; Tommy Lee Jones; Jon Voight; Michael Cera and Mandy Moore; Ellen Barkin, Perry Reeves, and Eddie Kaye Thomas; Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, and Powers Boothe; Kirsten Dunst, an Olsen twin, John Hawkes, Dayton Callie, Paula Malcomson, and Garret Dillahunt; Jonah Hill; Nicole Richie and Joel Madden; Adam Levine and Clea DuVall; Seth Green; Tim Meadows; Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart; Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox; Mike Tyson; Valerie Harper; Jeff Gordon, Dominick Dunne, and Rachel Zoe; and Suge Knight.

· Went to the Wilco show last night- 8/29 at the Greek Theater. They played their last song, and I'm walking out of the aisle when this woman barrels down on me obviously in a rush. She apologizes over and over again and calls me sweetheart. I suddenly recognize the distinct voice of Catherine Keener. She apologizes again. Very nice and cool for being a Wilco fan. Love her.

· On Monday night (August 27) - I saw the infamous Leonardo DiCaprio roll in to the Viper Room at about 11:15pm wearing jeans, a black long sleeved shirt and a brown tweed newsboy cap. He was alone.

He watched the band - Blackcowboy - whom he's had perform at events and in a movie he produced.

But then I saw Kevin Connolly running down the strip to meet up with his buddy, Leo.

· It's been the week of middle-aged-transitioning-to-older tough white guy actors. Today (8/30) at Clementine Jon Voight snagged our table as we got up to leave. He was quite smiley and friendly enough for an irascible type. Might need to lay off the facial cosmetic treatments, though; he's looking a little plasticized.

And forgot to report — Tommy Lee Jones walking into Orso this past Sunday around lunchtime.

· Tuesday, Aug 28. Café Stella in Silver Lake: Michael Cera on a romantic dinner date with Mandy Moore. Cripes, you can have Valderrama and Braff, Mandy, but do you really need Cera too? He was supposed to be my boyfriend, but I had the decency to wait until he sprouted some more pube before making my big move.

· at the 8/29 wilco show at the greek theatre... c-level sightings of eddie kaye thomas (american pie epics and fox's unwatchable 'til death) and perry reeves (ari's shrewish wife on entourage). but classing the place up was cougariffic ellen barkin...

· I guess seeing celebs at the Dodgers Dugout Club is like shooting fish in a barrel, but, August 28th game, end of the seventh, we see owner Frank McCourt and a lot of security in the bar and then the front of David Arquette and the back of Courteney Cox Arquette. Boy, is he good looking in person! Courteney, your work here is done.

And as we were leaving, Powers Boothe in the cheaper seats. Do I get any points for that one?

· Tuesday August 28 at Spaceland. Tiny and cute Kirsten Dunst, and an equally tiny but not as cute Olsen twin (God help me, I have no idea which one). They rocked out a bit to King Straggler, but didn't see them after that. It was a benefit for a very cool local theatre company, so thanks Kiki for (most likely inadvertently) supporting the arts! Also many Deadwood/John from Cincinnati alums - since John Hawkes (Sol Starr) is in King Straggler. Dayton Callie, Paula Malcomson, Garret Dillahunt...but this is for "celebrities" not "brilliant semi-recognizable character actors" right?

· 8/27 - Jonah Hill, just standing on the corner of Fairfax and Oakwood near the Out of the Closet thriftstore, using his cell phone. I had the distinct feeling EVERY CAR passing him was going 'hey, it's the kid from Superbad, you know, the one not from Arrested Development' as they drove past this busy corner.

· Out for some Labor Day frozen yogurt to ease the pain of the sweltering heat in the valley, I instantly recognized the easily identifiable tattooed-ness of Joel Madden and then realized that the girl in front of him was Nicole Richie. They were headed into the Coffee Bean next to Studio Yogurt at Laurel Canyon and Ventura. Satisfying some pregnancy cravings?

· Sunday, Aug 26th...A cornucopia of celebrity sightings. Adam Levine and Clea DuVall, both at Mustard Seed Cafe on Hillhurst, dining separately. Levine is hotter than expected, she looks just like she's looked the 9,000 other times I've seen her in Los Feliz. That afternoon at The Grove, saw Tim Meadows on my way into the movies, where I then saw Seth Green (cue the standard: "he's so short!" reaction) at the afternoon showing of Superbad. Post-movie (loved it, btw. Viva Michael Cera), went to Barney's Coop and saw Kirsten Dunst, where the cashier loudly and embarrassingly thanked Dunst for shopping there. Ugh.

· Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart at Cafe Mauro for a late Saturday lunch. With four Hipster friends. They both looked very east coast preppy (baseball hats, chinos, white Ts). But left looking very Hollywood/Bling in a black Caddy DTS with chrome shoes.

· Sunday night/ August 27th- Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox with kids at California Adventure's Vineyard Room restaurant. Rick only person in the room not to get up and watch the Electric Light Parade that passed right in front of the restaurant. Good for them though, even with a divorce keeping family trips for the kids.

· Tough guys like Pinkberry, too! 104 degrees on Thursday 8/30 around noon at Pinkberry in Studio City. Iron Mike Tyson dressed smartly in a fedora and that unmistakable face tattoo. Now my boyfriend can't just say that Pinkberry is "just for chicks".

· Sunday, August 26th. Heading back to LA from Aspen, television's sassiest neighbor from Minneapolis, Rhoda Morgenstern aka Valerie Harper, seated in first class, chatting and laughing with her fellow cabin mates. She looked great however, I was disappointed when she went into the "see me, recognize me" vintage actress routine of gabbing loudly on her Jitterbug and gesticulating wildly outside the terminal while looking for her ride. Simmer down, Rhoda. Simmah down now!

· Aug. 30: Apparently, my last minute, un-planned "quiet date night" at the Chateau was the idea of the day. Also on "dates" were Bungalow regular Dominick Dunne, NASCAR's Jeff Gordon with a woman friend, and Rachel Zoe.

· Wednesday (8/29) - Annoying lunch-time Beverly Center traffic, in line to make a left-turn at 3rd onto La Cienega; I look in my rear-view mirror, it's Suge Knight looking equally pissed in his gleaming off-white custom Land Rover. Needless to say, I made a very quick and efficient left as soon as I got the arrow. As he drove by I was a little surprised he had plates on it, let alone standard issue.

In today's episode: James Gandofini; Renee Zellweger; Kid Rock and Rev Run; Mike Binder; Lindsay Lohan; John Krasinski; Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Barry Manilow and Suzanne Somers; Paul Thomas Anderson, Maya Rudolph, Illeana Douglas, and Matt Walsh; Johnny Knoxville; Justin Chambers; Marley Shelton; Rebecca De Mornay; Ben and Fred Savage, Niecy Nash; Diane Delano; Tia Carrere; Lauren Conrad; Michael Moloney; and Jeremy Sumpter.

· 7/20/07 10:40 am: tony soprano (james gandofini) at whole foods - santa monica. Tony was by himself and pretty much on the phone the whole time.

· A few sightings this weekend:

7/21 - After foolishly dropping a lot of $ on sweats on a hot day in Malibu, I perked up when I spotted awesome family man and rap legend Reverend Run walking around with Kid Rock. Whatever they were up to, they looked like it was serious business.

7/22 - Leaving the Starbucks at Wilshire and Santa Monica, I passed Renee Zellweger getting out of her little silver Mercedes. She looked tiny and naturally beautiful in a little black dress and big black sunglasses. Later that day, I ran into Mike Binder grabbing a bite with one of his kids at the Century City food court.

· On Saturday 7/21, while waiting to see the Big Game Hunters sketch comedy show, tons of paparazzi we around the corner at Pop Killer. The celebrity in question was none other than Lindsay Lohan.

· Saturday 7/21: Having an amazing dinner at Giorgio Baldi in Santa Monica with my boyfriend and his family when we noticed that Courteney Cox, David Arquette and Jennifer Aniston were sitting two tables away from us! David is terribly sexy, but shovels his food into his mouth in a not very sexy way, and Courtney and Jen were pretty but too skinny, as is expected. At the table next to them was Suzanne Somers, looking like she's had too much work done, we were all commenting that the Thigh Master must've made her a pretty penny over the years! Also saw Barry Manilow coming in just as we were about to leave.

· I saw John Krasinski from The Office, eating lunch at Ammo on Highland (7/20). He was good-looking in comparison with the behind-the-scenes execs he was sitting with, but he didn't stand out. He wore that same bemused expression that he uses on TV. Maybe he still had shell shock from working with the manic Robin Williams.

· My girlfriend spotted Upright Citizen Brigader Matt Walsh at the free outdoor screening of Boogie Nights in Reseda on Sat. night (07/21). Before the movie started he appeared to be talking to himself, but was on his cell phone earpiece thing. This odd little troll sporting Lynyrd Skynyrd-style facial hair kept approaching him in an obsequious manner.

Even after the event organizer introduced director Paul Thomas Anderson and told everyone to please not talk during the movie, Anderson and yenta girlfriend Maya Rudolph chatted non-stop throughout. He did a live director's commentary, which was less insightful than one might hope for, while she cackled on a cell phone. I considered suggesting to her that I might be able to enjoy the movie if she were to rejoin The Rentals, who happened to be performing at Spaceland that night. If I never hear her annoying laugh again, it will be too soon.

The next day (07/21), girlfriend spots Goodfellas anti-Semite, Illeana Douglas, at the Hollywood Farmer's Market buying tomatoes next to me. Since I don't give a shit about fashion, I will break PrivacyWatch protocol by not reporting what she was wearing. That is all.

· Last night (7-23) around 8:30p I was walking down sunset near gower and saw johnny knoxville and an unidentified friend driving an old blue boat of a car... knoxville, driving, had his cellphone or a small handheld camera and was taking video or pictures of some homeless person pushing a cart... not quite sure what that was all about.

· Sunday 7-22-07 I was in a Santa Monica parking garage elevator with Justin Chambers [green striped polo shirt + chinos], and his wife/lady friend/female assistant. Clean, casual and about 5'10ish in person. Even TV stars park on level 8.

· July 20: On the first day of my first actual visit to LA, I checked out the Hollywood sign from Beachwood Canyon. Afterwards,
as we drove down the winding road, I saw the Beachwood Market and mistakenly thought it was just another fancy-ass house until we got closer and I saw that it was a fancy-ass grocery store. A black BMW or sportscar of some kind pulled up in front of the store and a tall blonde woman stepped out, pretty dressed up. It was Marley Shelton. She was wearing jeans, black heels, a dressy black spaghetti strap top with a chunky gold necklace and had very, very red lipstick on. She also has big, buggy eyes. Looks pretty much the same in person as on screen.

· A week's worth of sightings..

Monday (last) I was driving from Universal and in a big Mercedes with tobacco interior, complete with that damn flower behind her ear, was Niecy Nash from that show where they make you have a yardsale and then pretend that they can decorate your house without using tradeouts. Does she always run around in full makeup with a flower?

Also, it was a hopping afternoon at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I ran in to two Savages (Ben and Fred), who were having a hurang about something haveing to do with a car, then out in the Polo, Courtney Peldon was having lunch with some girl who had the best blonde I've ever seen. I thought maybe I saw Diana Ross, but I think it turned out just to be her hair twin. I was very hair oriented that day.

Tuesday (last) Diane Delano and a blonde girl at Marix and then at Hamburger Mary's in We Ho — they sure get around! (Is it appropriate here to say gee, she sure is popular? get it? like the show?)

Wednesday Tia Carerre and Lisa Ann Warren hosting bingo. Does anyone care about Tia anymore? After a night of ruined ball calling, I sure don't. Hey Mickey you're so fine eh.. not so much.

Thursday I saw teeny tiny little Kristen Chenoweth during my morning run to Starbucks. She has a chin length bob and favors teeny tiny white shorts that say "Pink" on the boot.

Friday I had a hangover and didn't go outside.

Saturday at the Grove movie theatre I saw Lauren Conrad, taller than I would have imagined in some trite dress (new awesome body, though) standing near the concierge and looking annoyed. She was standing with someone, but other than that the person was a human, I noticed nothing, not even gender. I went to see Hairspray, and I was sitting right behind Rebecca DeMornay and a gaggle of little girls (looked like she was the mom taking the bunch to the movies). Very sweet.

Sunday at The Abbey I saw that guy Michael Moloney (or something like that???) from Extreme Home Makeover showing off his iphone and perfect white teeth.

· I always see Jeremy Sumpter (2003's Peter Pan) at a bowling alley in Studio City. He's all grown up and looks quite good. And as can be expected, he's always with a gaggle of overly made-up girls.

In today's episode: Forest Whitaker; Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox; Amaury Nelasco; Evan Handler; David Arquette; Jackie Earl Haley; Jason Lee and Giovanni Ribisi; Luke Perry; Michael Rapaport; Rob Zombie; Dr. Drew Pinsky; Julie Bowen; Ron Leibman; Neil Patrick Harris; Jackie Warner; Jeffrey Ross; Dennis Haskins, Ryan Cabrera and Simple Plan; Henry Rollins; and Kristin Cavallari.

· July 4th - I didn't see any half-naked starlets/socialites, but I did catch an Oscar winner. While having a leisurely late lunch at Shutters, I spotted Forest Whitaker and his lovely family enjoying a stroll toward the Santa Monica Pier.

· July 4th Eve - 4 network stars. Walking across the Sunset Tower/Tower Bar driveway my 6'2" friend by my side enjoyed a sighting reserved for the tall. He peered in to the burkha-like slit in a black Range Rover's driver side window to spy NBC's Jennifer Aniston attempting to turn left on to Sunset while lighting up a smoke. Courteney Cox riding shotgun. (9:50 PM). Later at the opening of Charcoal at the Arclight complex, FOX's Amaury Nelasco (Prison Break) was lurking in the back corner (navy button down, dark jeans, platinum chunky chain, bald head). The owner attached himself at the waist to him all night, but Amaury had no friends in sight. Blonde chick in a white dress who "kinda" knew who he was was "kinda" trying to get on him. He left without her. But the Emmy worthy sighting of my night was "Dave", Hurley's imaginary friend from the mental ward from ABC's "Lost". (Evan Handler). He was at Lubavitch, the "I didn't get in to Winston's" bar on Santa Monica early (10:15 ish), drinking Stella Artois bottles, wearing a maroon button down that oddly matched the bartenders', and sitting by himself at the bar waiting for a brunette he eventually left with. Being all boozy, I initially thought it was Howie Mandel. So all of Defamer loves Kiefer...but this Defame-whore is officially sporting his kitson T-shirt as Team Lost. (P.S. C'mon CBS, get with it.)

· 7-1 I was having brunch at Geoffrey's in Malibu this past Sunday when low and behold Courteney Cox and David Arquette walk in. They were both very incognito and funny enough I recognized David Arquette before Courtney, who looked like she's had one too many cigarettes. After that my friends and I decied to have a drink over at Moonshadows and I spotted Jackie Earl Haley lounging around and enjoying his sunday.

· 1. On Sunday, July 1, I see this white trash cowboy saunter into trendy Silverlake tapas joint Malo. Who is this guy in a long sleeved checkered button-down mixing with boys in skinny jeans? It's Jason Lee, cutely staying in "Earl" character...looks like he just walked off Stage 3 or whatever. He sits down at a big patio table, where a 7 year-old type is annoyingly waving an iPhone. Wife? is refreshingly normal looking, as she plops down next to Earl, with a kid or two in tow. Quickly, I scan the rest of the table. Where is his permanent sidekick? Damn it - he's solo this time? "No that's Giovanni Ribisi right there," my husband sighs. Huh? Perhaps in an unnecessary disguise, so as to fool Defamer operatives, Ribisi has a giant fro happening, and a thick mustache..Sort of a weird 70's Burt Reynolds/last year's Phil Spector hybrid.

2. On Thursday, July 5, at around 7 p.m. or so, saw Luke Perry in a ballcap at mid-Wilshire Irish bar Tom Bergin's. Sat down at the wraparound bar, surrounded by some other can't-place dudes. Totally seems like he'd be fun to grab a beer with - seems to be aging better than a lot of those 90210 kids.

· 7-5 So I'm eating a delicious turkey on cheese and jalapeno bagel sandwich outside Sam's Bagels on Larchmont when the couple two tables away starts having a full-blown argument. My lunch cohort and I had noticed that it was that curly-haired New York-accented actor Michael Rapaport. We went about our lunch until we honestly couldn't talk normally, so we left. He needs a haircut b/c his shaggy curls draw attention to his bald spot, but it's nice to see he's tall. She looked good.

· Sunday (7/01) I took my in-from-out-of-town mother to the Pinkberry on Larchmont. In line behind us was Rob Zombie and his wife. When we left the store I had to explain to her who he was several times; she declared that he "didn't look like someone who would be famous." Then Monday morning I was dropping her off at the Burbank airport, when she recognized Dr. Drew Pinsky unloading the car in front of us with his family. It was really surprising that she recognized him before I did... I hope she's not been calling into Love Line with questions about... *Shudder*

· July 4th, around 1pm, spotted Julie Bowen sitting at a cafe along Vermont, possibly Figaro's or whatever it's called. The one by the theatre that isn't Fred 62 or the Italian place. Anyway, she was smiling/laughing while at one of the outdoor tables. Saw her as I walked past and thought, "She's pretty." Then thought, "WAIT, she was Jack's wife on Lost!" Spent the rest of the block trying to remember her name. I know it's not Keifer, but it is Los Feliz.

· Wed. 7/4, LAX: Ron Leibman, smoking outside the Delta terminal in a full suit and a leather-like tan. In pointing him out to my husband, I instinctively blurted out, "Kaz!" What can I say, that show made an impression on my 9 year-old self.

· Reality fitness guru Jackie Warner (Bravo's "Workout") spent the Fourth of July at the Abbey in West Hollywood, drinking and (gasp!) smoking.

I keep seeing Neil Patrick Harris in the locker room at Equinox West Hollywood these days in that late afternoon time slot before all the office dwellers come and ruin the vibe. He seems more cheerful lately and is being friendly to fellow patrons all of a sudden.

· The Fourth of July. 101 Coffee Shop, enjoying some Cuban corn on the cob and an espresso milkshake at the counter, Comedy Central roast MC and filthy poet Jeffrey Ross saunters in with three other men.

· Metal Skool last night at the Key Club (july 2nd), the highlight was Dennis Haskins, Mr. Belding of Saved By the Bell fame himself...not only was he super bloated, but he had the nerve to get up on stage and sing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin", mildly attempt Alice Cooper, and creepily check out the underage valley girls on stage during the last song. I've been told he's done this before, and it's all on youtube...so what the hell? The band kept calling him Richard and asked him what he thought of Screech's sex tape. It was great. Also in the crowd was Ryan Cabrera walking back and forth constantly from the vip area with a hat on what looked like day 4 of not washing his hair. He had a posse of girls. And to top it off, Simple Plan was there as well. if anyone remembers, they made a mild impact during the height of blink 182, sum 41, and all the number bands. I guess cover bands attract C listers...?

· july 3rd Henry Rollins at the Sunn 0))) show, el rey theatre. Looked hot.

· My date recognized Kristin Cavallari at The Pig on La Brea. Apparently she was in some kind of reality show on the music television channel. Not sure who she is but she was with a guy who was such an uber-douche he left a trail of vinegar from the street.

In today's episode: Colin Farrell; Robert Downey, Jr., Gary Shandling, and Kevin Pollack; Lisa Kudrow, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette; Brian Grazer; Michael Richards; Jason Lee and Jason Segel; John Krasinski and Adam Scott; Roger Avary; Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox; and Chris Owen.

· 6/25 - About 10 pm, jumping into the least comically long line at Hollywood/Western Ralph's, fairly checked out after a long work day. Only after vaguely registering an Irish brogue on the tatted, muscle-shirted, pork-pied gentleman in front of me, i do notice he was about to leave his milk jug behind. He returns to grab it after cashier & I shout him down, and he is then obviously Colin Farrell, with a hardy "thanks then, mates" for us. Being at least a mile from any fashionable locale and being above-average male height seems the ultimate combination to fly under the radar, or no one had seen "Tigerland" on the late shift.

· Went to the Police show at Dodger Stadium (6-23). I had great seats so I started looking for celebs and was initially disappointed when the only person I recognized was the obviously mentally challenged Cousin Sal from The Jimmy Kimmel Show. Then I spotted Gary Shandling, Robert Downey, Jr. , and Kevin Pollack. Not too shabby.

· Went on Thursday 6/21 to One on Sunset. Lisa Kudrow was there having dinner with her husband and another older-ish couple that aren't famous. She's much prettier in person. Her husband went the sweater around the shoulders route. I bit later Courteney Cox and David Arquette dropped in. They were both much better looking and even tinier than I would have imagined. Courtney spoke with Lisa and other friends, while David spent the entire time running back and forth talking on his phone. While we were waiting for the valet an Escalade swooped up, David jumped in and the driver screeched off. Maybe Coco needed a parent to come home?

· Saw Brian Grazer at Glu Gallery's "Everything Must Go" opening on Beverly last night (6/23). Scariest part? Your giant Grazer head shot is actually life size....that dude is tiny!

· More than 10 years of going down to the Third Street Promenade on a regular basis, and I finally had my first celebrity sighting down there last Sunday the 24th - and boy, was it a good one. Walking down Santa Monica Blvd. toward the beach at around 2 p.m., I passed ex- Kramer Michael Richards, who was carrying a bunch of shopping bags and looking a bit winded as he went his not-so merry way. Being of the Negro persuasion myself, I resisted the immediate temptation of pointing at the doghouse-residing star and shouting ... well, you know.

· The Two Jasons: On the way to the House of Pies last Sat. (June 23) I spied Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother/Knocked Up) sidewalk seated with a lady friend. On the return trip I passed Jason/Earl Lee puffing on a cig at the Prospect and Vermont car wash. Kept my eyes peeled for Priestly, Patric and/or Schwartzman but no luck.

· 6/23 - Walking out of the movie theater at the Grove, I spotted Adam Scott (I had to look him up and I bet you would have too - he was the gay friend in Monster-In-Law and the male nurse in Knocked Up). He's cute. Minutes later, I was walking into AOC when my current crush John Krasinski brushed past me on his way out. Seriously cute and oh so talented. He looked like he was maybe with an industry type couple and a nice looking older couple who could have been his parents. The older gentleman graciously complimented the hosts on the wonderful dining experience, so he couldn't have been from here because we're not that nice.

· 6-23 I'm shopping at Whole Foods in Santa Monica and who do I spot in the vegan raw food section but the Academy Award winning writer of Pulp Fiction and director of The Rules of Attraction, Roger Avary. He looked good (blond and semi-fit), but he was talking to himself like a homeless person, muttering things like "this for me" and "body likes this" in a voice that was a little too loud. I looked for a Bluetooth headset, but saw none. His cart was full of various raw food items, like pizza made out of cashews and other things gross, and he must have been there for at least 15 minutes agonizing over what goofy food item pleased him more. Then, very clearly, he half shouts "Damned Nazi's — DIE!" I have no idea what was irking him so, but it scared me enough to turn and walk away.

· went to see the Police @ Dodger Stadium last night, 6/23. while waiting in line for a margarita, noticed JAY MOHR + NIKKI COX walking by. he was working a '70s porn star 'stache. which makes sense, since NIKKI has over-inflated Juvoderm porn star lips. looked like he was following her around like a puppy dog. so sad.

· 6/24/07 stopped into Chipotle at the Grove and see none other than Chris "The Sherminator" Owen (I definitely had to Google him) waiting in line. He was waiting to pick up a special order quesadilla (why?). Looks exactly like he does in the movies, which is sort of unfortunate for him.

The theatrical release of David Arquette's The Tripper is soon upon us, the first horror movie to our knowledge to feature a Ronald Reagan-impersonating ax murderer (not counting 1953's criminally overlooked Bloodbath For Bonzo). As a low-budget horror producer without joint access to his far more successful wife's bank account, Arquette is always on the lookout for creative viral marketing ploys that cost no more than the price of four quickly pounded Cape Cods: Behold, then, this remarkable feat of bladder-relieving chirography made available on the movie's MySpace page, in which Arquette scrawls the title upon a New Orleans sidewalk in one fell piss. It's an admirable example of out-of-the-pants promotional thinking, made all the more impressive by the knowledge that Arquette is simultaneously contributing his small part to the re-beautification of areas hit hardest by Hurricane Katrina.

• The Tripper Tour, Pt. 5 [MySpace]

After weathering a flatly written exchange in which Aniston's lesbian character tells Cox, "This is no way to live! You don't deserve to be alone," (oh, the bitter irony), then some innuendo about past dalliances between the characters (four implied times!), and one brushed off ass-grab (easy there, lesbian tiger), we finally get the kiss: A closed mouth cutaway unlikely to moisten the panties of even the show's most incontinent viewers. Have a look, trying not to sigh too loudly over this squandered opportunity to exploit ten seasons' worth of crackling, Sapphic sexual tension.

• Dirt - Courteney and Jennifer kiss! [YouTube]

"Is it 'Bring a Jackal to Work Day'? " Lucy [Cox] says when she sees Tina Harrod (Ms. Aniston), her longtime frenemy and editor of a rival gossip magazine in her office.

Tina fights fire with fake warmth, calling Lucy "sweetie" and mixing solicitude with salacious innuendo. (They kiss on the lips, but briskly.) The finale, which ties up loose ends with over-the-top drama, should be a blast. Yet like Ms. Cox, Ms. Aniston seems to be sleepwalking through her part, not so much enjoying it as enduring it.

We suppose that those truly obsessed with the idea of a proper Monica-on-Rachel hook-up can pray that Dirt gets picked up for another season and Aniston becomes a recurring character; maybe with the pressure of a possible cancellation off, the actresses will allow themselves to relax enough to finally give their dedicated fans the spit-swapping, nonpenetrative televised encounter they've desperately craved since those deliciously tense moments back in their Friends kitchen.

• Frenemies Forever in the Game of Fame [NY Times]
• Courtney Cox Doesn't Want You To Watch Her Make Out With Jennifer Aniston For The Wrong Reasons [Defamer]

In today's episode: Mark Wahlberg, Tom Ford, Courteney Cox, Isla Fisher, Chris O'Donnell, Randy Newman and Wolfgang Puck; Minnie Driver; Gwyneth Paltrow; Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver; Kiefer Sutherland and Scott Ian; Christina Ricci; Ali Larter; Taryn Manning; Heather Mills-McCartney; Michael Rapaport; Laura Dern and Ben Harper; Natasha Gregson Wagner and Ben Harper; Chris Robinson; Harry Hamlin; Sean Stewart and Allan Arbus.

· Spotted at Cut at the Four Seasons Regent Beverly Wilshire last night, in order of appearance:

Mark Wahlberg — surprising to see him already seated when we arrived for our 6 p.m. reservation to nearly empty restaurant. On date with beautiful brunette. We walked right by them en route to our table. Unfortunately, my view was of his back and her front. Midway through their meal, she moved to sit next to him, where I had full PDA views. Upon their departure, I noticed that he was not very tall... nor was she.

Tom Ford — He arrived alone and I was sitting very close to him and had perfect view of him entire night. He faced me so no problem gawking. He looked quite bored at first, munching on breadsticks to keep busy. Someone came from kitchen and brought him back for tour. Later, he was joined by agent/business manager/ publicist looking woman. He had shirt unbuttoned to navel and sport coat.

Chris O'Donnell — he was out with his wife and two other well-dressed couples. All boys wore coats and ties. They were served sliders... not on menu. I also had perfect view of Chris throughout evening with no need to crane my neck; he faced me.

Randy Newman — I couldn't gawk too much as he was seated at table next to me. My boss was just next to him. His table did stare at our desserts when they came out and I know they were talking about them. I love L.A. !!

Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers and Sacha Baron Cohen fame) sitting next to Courteney Cox. They were sitting at the table where Mark Wahlberg had sat when we arrived. Courteney and Isla faced me. I had perfect view of Courtney without having to look too hard. They were at the table behind Tom Ford. I couldn't see faces of their friends (blonde woman and dark haired guy).

Wolfgang Puck himself — we first viewed him greeting tables. I thought he has certain tables he must visit — celeb / important people tour. But, no, he came to our table too, shook our hands and thanked us for joining him. How's that for p.r.?

This topped my Minnie Driver at brunch sighting on Sunday at BLD.

· Gwyneth Paltrow, Tuesday, in the Pulp 'n Hide candy shop next to the Brentwood Country Mart, apparently channeling the same rainy day sweet tooth as me and my girl. Dressed in skinny jeans, and a black sweater, her hair was pulled back and Apple was on her hip. Didn't want to inspect too closely - got the grew-up-in-Malibu, B.F.D. thing down pat. Perhaps because the seas didn't part in her presence - the proprietor, whose face registered celebrity recognition, was in no hurry to finish up with me and my daughter - I detected some slight hostility from Miss "I am so blessed."

Her half pint kept asking what kind of jelly beans she was going to get, and what color they were going to be. The place is cramped, and we were standing at the counter, where the jelly bellies are. When we were paying, Apple again asked about her choices, and Gwyneth this time said, "Wait until these people move out the way, and then we can see," but the key words "these people" and "move" were distinctly lacking the pleasant vocal inflection that you might expect from a mere plebe.

But no hostility was directed towards her offspring. Instead there was plenty of smothering mothering. Lots of kisses and assorted terms of endearment. No, no one can love child like Gwyneth.

· Sunday March, 18th 11:30 am-ish - spotted Arnold "the Governator" Schwarzenegger and skeletor wife Maria Shriver with family, no doubt AFTER church services, having brunch at Ivy at the Shore. Sadly, everyone there resisted the urge to tell him "I"LL BE BACK"

· 3/19 at Mat Kearney/Rocco DeLuca show at HOB: Kiefer Sutherland skulking around Foundation Room, trying to look important (isn't he Rocco's manager? No Christmas trees in sight, sadly). Scott Ian (Anthrax) hanging out at the FR bar with a lady. He must be an FR member, as all the bartenders seemed to know him and he was INCREDIBLY nice and looked totally the same in person as he does in pictures and TV. Also, some guy in a bunny suit was rocking out like I had never seen to Rocco. He should be a celebrity.

· Spotted a surprisingly short Kiefer Sutherland hanging out in the Foundation Room at the House of Blues on Sunset last night (Mon, 3/19). His band, Rocco Deluca, was performing (along with Matt Kearney & The Feeling). I had rail access for this show until a few hours before I rolled down to the venue, have a feeling word that Jack Bauer & Co. would be rolling through caused me to lose my spot. I would be offended, but he provided enough eye candy while I got my drink on at the bar to make up for it.

· Thursday March 22nd Starbucks Gower & Sunset

Buying a morning coffee who should I spot but the little bundle of Joy that is Christina Ricci. Looking casual yet stunning.

I assumed she was open to a little conversation so I looked her way however she put on her sunglasses and looked down so I guess not.

In any case when her drink was up she quickly grabbed it, thanked the barista and headed out.

· This may be too late, but yesterday morning (Monday 3/19) I saw Ali Larter (alone) at the Coffee Bean (Sunset/Fairfax). She was wearing workout clothes, ponytail, was on her cell phone the entire time, no/minimal makeup, looked very pretty.

The night before, Sunday (March 18) saw Taryn Manning with a guy, walking on Franklin in Hollywood around Bronson, by that little strip of shops/restaurants. She looked a bit prettier in person, but was scowling at the people in line for UCB Theater's free Sunday night AsssCat show, which made her face look hideous. Too high heels and an outdated Balenciaga motorcycle bag—canvas/leather mix.

· first time submitter! yay! today, tuesday 20th, 1pm, bev hills. saw heather mills-mccartney walking south on dayton at canon toward her chauffered green (suspenseful inhale)... trailblazer. yeah. i said trailblazer. she was wearing the skinniest black lycra pants imagineable; at least down to the knee, where they flared out dramatically around 3 inch wicked witch of the west boots. i noticed she was limping and thought, 'aw, tiny dancer!"; then promptly cursed myself for forgetting the whole leg thing. oops.
good: it appeared she brownbagged lunch. or lady likes her leftovers.
bad: go go gadget nostrils. i never noticed their spectacular flair.

· On Saturday afternoon I saw Michael Rapaport of The War At Home and Beautiful Girls walking down Larchmont outside of Jamba Juice. He was walking towards me on the street and when we made eye contact and he realized I recognized him he crossed the street! Get over yourself buddy. I don't care enough about you and your d-list ass to interrupt my run for an autograph. He should be thrilled he's even recognized. As Stephanie Tanner would say "How rude!"

· Tuesday 3/20 'round 2pm - Laura Dern and Ben Harper meeting up with some regular folk at Joe's Diner on Main St in Santa Monica. Ben was in dark pants and a plaid flannel shirt and ballcap and Laura was in dark jeans and a black quilted ski parka. I think she's in her 40s, but her skin is amazing. She looks maybe 35.

· Today (March 22) on Arizona Ave and 20th St in Santa Monica, on the sidewalk I saw very small and cute Natasha Gregson Wagner filming something or other. When I passed by again, I walked right by some really old hairy dude in sunglassesa and a baseball cap who *might* have been director/photographer Larry Clark. I guess he's making a movie with her? As of today imdb begs to differ...

· 3/18/07 at Whole Foods on Ventura Blvd. in Woodland Hills around 8pm. Chris Robinson from the Black Crowes at the cash register. Tall, scraggly, and thin, but looked clean. The dude must be around 6'3". It was packed at WF, but he waited in line patiently just like the rest of us. Couldn't see what he was buying b/c I was three registers away. I remember somebody ripping on him earlier for living in the West Valley, but there are a ton of studios up in the hills of Woodland Hills. I've seen Stephen Perkins (drummer for Jane's Addiction) and other musicians at WF before.

· After seeing "300" for the second time, I was walking with my boyfriends family at the Calabassas Commons, only to notice Belle Gray, Lisa Rinna's store. Just as I was explaining to them who Lisa Rinna was, Harry Hamlin and their children walked by. He is a very slight man, good-looking, but slightly manorexic. Their kids are really cute.

· I am so excited that I get to send this in:
Driving up Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills on Saturday, March 17th and pulled up next to Sean "Rod's Son" Stewart. He was driving a black BMW. He looked too young and cute in spite of all the tatoos. I pointed him out to my bf but he just figured he was some rocker. But I knew he had to be some kind of celebrity. We both work in the biz but couldn't figure it out. Then I saw a promo for Son's of Hollywood last night. Eureka! Gotta write to Defamer!

· 3/22 While I'd never give up a big star unless they cut in line, took my parking spot or pulled a "do you know who I am?" since I think celebrity obsession is part of the vapid, snarky downfall of America - okay, that's my "I'm better than you" disclaimer - but I swear I just saw M*A*S*H's Major/Dr. Sydney Freedman and ubiquitous guest star himself Allan Arbus, hubby of the late Diane (impress your friends with the correct pronunciation: "Dee-ann!") and pop of Amy (pronounced "Amy" - you'd think they would have been more creative) at the Brentwood post office. The guy looks damn good for an IMDB-researched 89 years, proving the value of years of weekly fictional sitcom psychotherapy, I suppose. That is all. (that's a M*A*S*H reference, kids!)

In today's episode: Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Al Pacino; Meg Ryan; Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez; Chris Rock, Lionel Richie, Kelly Lynch, Mitch Glazer and Elvis Mitchell; Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight and Justin Chambers; Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley; David Caruso; Jared Leto; Tyra Banks; Jason Alexander; Rip Taylor; Seth Green; Eric Clapton; John C. Reilly; Jillian Barberie; Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito; Steven Bochco; Paris Hilton; Zachary Quinto; Tim Curry; Justin Berfield; Jill Hennessy; Jeffrey Jones; Oscar Nunez and Kiersten Warren.

· So, apparently there's this little Italian place below the sidewalk on Beverly just east of Robertson called Madeo's. Who knew? Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, and Al Pacino all do and were all there last night getting their dinner on. Cox arrived first with kid(s) (i think only one belonged to her), and looked radiant in a Bride Of Skeletor kind of way. Aniston met her later, and looked radiant in a Queen Of The Emaciated Goddesses kind of way. Then Pacino slid into the booth and they all had a crazy threesome. Just kidding. Pacino was with less attractive people and looking batshit insane.

· Today, Feb. 13 @ approx. 2:20pm - saw Meg Ryan @ La Provence Patisserie & Café on Olympic in BH. She was wearing baggy green cargo-esque pants, big sunglasses and disheveled long hair mostly covering her face, but not those amazing lips of hers. While waiting for her salad to-go and beverage, she played with her phone/pda. Very sweet and unassuming, she exited with her order and took off in her silver BMW 550.

Feb. 6th @ approx. 10:15pm - saw Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez waiting for their cars at the Beverly Hills Peninsula Hotel valet. QT was speaking to Robert in his typical rapid-fire delivery, and Robert mostly listened. QT drove off in a fairly new yellow Mustang and Robert in a black Mercedes 350.

· It was an interesting night at the Sunset Tower Bar tonight (2/13). First I noticed Lionel Richie at the bar with an unidentified woman. (I think he and friend closed the place down, since they were still there as we left late.) Dmitri, the super skilled maître d' who's got a subtle Lois Weisberg/Howard Rubenstein thing going on, introduced Lionel to Kelly Lynch and Mitch Glazer as they were leaving. Then Elvis Mitchell was there interviewing Chris Rock. If only a crew from "Iconoclasts" had been in the room to capture some of these encounters.

· I saw Katherine Heigl, T. R. Knight and Justin Chambers last night at Figaro on Vermont Street in Los Feliz. T.R. Knight was eating steak tartare and, according to the waiter, comes in all the time Katherine Heigl. I don't know if this is like some secret celebrity spot, because I also saw Avril Lavigne with her husband (Deryck Whibley) there on Sunday for brunch (I obviously go there a lot).

· Friday 2/16 @ 1:00pm - David Caruso crossing the street on Roxbury Drive (cross street Wilshire) and hopping into a Silver Mercedes with a female driver. Wearing a sport jacket with jeans and the mandatory sunglasses. Can't miss the red hair though.

· 2/9 Jared Leto at the Roxy watching Chris Hall of Stabbing westwards new locally formed band "The Dreaming". He hung out in the seating area while they played and Chris kept making jokes about how they'd like to go on tour with 30 seconds to mars.

· On Sunday afternoon I was sitting at the little 'cafe' area in the Hollywood Trading Post at Fairfax and Melrose, listening to the jazz band while friends shopped. I saw this tall beautiful black woman about 10' away and it took me awhile to actually realize it was Tyra Banks, and not some 10 cent lookalike. I wasnt convinced at first since she was very conservatively dressed: Boots, tight, chic blue jeans, a tasteful gray sweater and her hair was in a bun. However, after several people walked and then whispered in each others ears saying "Its Tyra!" it wasthen and only then I realized it was indeed Ms. Top Model herself. She has crazy looking eyes in person.

· Yesterday (2/12), driving on Little Santa Monica at Camden...I'm cruising through the intersection, when this schmuck on his cell phone steps out of the crosswalk and begins to go. i didn't even have time to hit the horn, i just slammed on the brakes and hoped for the best. the guy doesn't even look up at me, but he just sort of instinctually goes back to the sidewalk, all the while talking on the cell. i shoot him a dirty look as i drive by, and i realize... I almost killed Independent George!! Stupid JASON ALEXANDER. He needs to watch where he's going, or he'll end up deader than Kramer's career.

Also, this past Saturday (2/10) at the LA Fitness on La Cienega, I saw RIP TAYLOR working out wearing a baseball hat that said "RIP" across the front. Unfortunately, there was no confetti to be seen anywhere.

· Saw "Robot Chicken" impresario Seth Green at Fred Segal Melrose on Saturday. He was being doted on by two hottie stylist-types and a salesman, neither of whom kept him from fretting over the contrast between a blazer and a shirt. I still wish he woulda kicked the crap out of Ari in last season's Vegas ep of "Entourage."

And in the "Stars! They're just like us!" department, Eric Clapton did at least two consecutive weekend gigs at the laundromat on 3rd and Sweetzer, washing his own duds and keeping to himself. Hopefully, this means there'll be a "Clapton Live From the Fluff-N-Fold" double cd in stores this coming Christmas.

· John C Reilly at the LA Derby Dolls (Fight Crew vs Tough Cookies) on 2/10. Best sport ever!

Jillian Baberie behind me on the 405 South merging onto the 101 West 2/13 around 10:30. Must have just gotten off work.

· Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito at Urth Cafe in Santa Monica, 2/11. They looked very much like a nice married couple out for a casual rumpled Sunday brunch, except it was Monday. I briefly considered crashing into Jennifer, just to feel something, but opted instead to eat my damn salad.

· Ah, another asshole celebrity entitlement moment. Leonine Steven Bocho sitting in his grey Mercedes sedan in the middle the Cloverfield/Olympic intersection at the height of rush hour blocking two left turn lanes that had a green arrow. When I gave him a "can you move" look, he shrugged a "deal with it" shrug, world weary. So I rolled down the window, and said "Cop Rock!" Seemed more cutting than "Fuck you."

· Driving down Melrose at 1:45am on Saturday night, I saw a Bentley flying in the same direction, swerving in and out of lanes. My friend said, "I guarantee that's Paris Hilton" right as the car drifted into the left lane while the right turn signal flashed. We pulled up next to the car at a red light and sure enough, Paris turns and looks right at us, jamming out to her music. Shocking she ever got a DUI...

· Saturday, 2/10, noon -

While volunteering at the South L.A. Animal Shelter during their Valentine's Day Adoption weekend, I spotted Zachary Quinto- aka Sylar from NBC's "Heroes" - coming in the shelter to help out. It could have been a photo-op, but still it's nice to know he's a hero off-camera.

· February 11, just in time for Valentine's Day, I saw Tim Curry aka Dr. Frankenfurter at the Hollywood Farmer's Market. I liked him better personally in "Clue" but either way it was not a good look as he had picked up weight and just happened to be stuffing his mouth full of food while waddling through the middle of the market. I normally don't comment on people being fluffy, but chewing with your mouth open is just in poor taste. Boo!

· Actor Justin Berfield (Malcolm in the Middle) texting his fingers off on his blackberry while sitting in the Delta Crown Room at LAX, interrupted moments later as two other people joined him.

· It's been a full week.........saw Bob Saget being as polite as he could be to his seatmate in first class, who started the conversation with, "Hey, I know you, who are you?" It went downhill from there. Bob was flying back from some gig in St. Louis (Sunday morning) to LAX.

Saw Jill Hennessy of Law and Order at the Patty Griffin show at the Hotel Cafe........Tuesday night........she's very pretty and waited in line just like the riff raff. The show was awesome, although overcrowded with lots of music industry types, making me feel very claustrophobic.

· Saturday, Feb 10th - My friend and I were eating lunch at the Arclight before our movie when we saw Ed Rooney himself — JEFFREY JONES walking from the parking lot. Didn't look like he was going into the theaters. He was heading straight for Sunset. He was flying solo.

Then on Sunday I saw OSCAR NUNEZ of The Office at Hugo's Restaurant in Studio City/Sherman Oaks. There was quite a wait to get in, since it was brunch time, so he was stuck waiting near the restroom area. Hugo's is the place to see TV stars as I saw Jon Cryer there sometime last year!

· I was at the Farmer's Market on 3rd on 2/10 for breakfast. Seated at one of the outside tables was Kiersten Warren with her husband. She was reading the paper in a blazer. I recognized her and was signaling to my mom who is a huge fan of Desperate Housewives, that she was the lady that got killed in the supermarket! Anyway, we went up to her and she took a pic with my mom. Nice lady, great bod for a gal her age!