Gawker: defamer, coronations

Spielberg Appoints Hillary Clinton To Presidency

Mark — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 14:30:15 EDT

Dealing a death blow to once-trendy Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama's chances of landing the crucial entertainment industry endorsement that spurred Presidents Gore and Kerry on to historic White House tenures, show business deity Steven Spielberg has officially anointed Hillary Clinton Hollywood's Savior, releasing a statement today indicating he's "convinced that [she] is the most qualified candidate to lead us."

Credit whatever soul-consignment agreement the savvy Clinton signed during her secretive visit to CAA's political-strategy dungeon back in February (Bryan Lourd has had the piece of baby-skin parchment containing Hillary's bloody signature framed for display above his desk) for the timely delivery of client Spielberg's vote of confidence; in addition to the evil agenting monolith's endorsement-packaging services, as a new member of the Creative Artists family, Clinton will also enjoy their vaunted protection benefits, which will ensure that she makes it at least as far as the primary without being snuffed out by nemesis David Geffen.

Steven Spielberg Endorses Hillary [HillaryHub.com via Wiretap]
Previously: Brett Ratner Donates Unparalleled Party-Throwing Skills To Clinton Campaign [Defamer]
Mrs. Clinton Goes To The Death Star [Defamer]
Obamamania: David Geffen Declares War On Hillary [Defamer]

A Spent America Collapses After Two Hour 'Idol' Orgy

Mark — Thu, 24 May 2007 13:41:45 EDT

Unless you've been napping in a sensory deprivation tank buried a mile beneath the earth's surface for the last ten or so hours, by now you know that Jordin Sparks (just 17, as we were reminded every 30 seconds of this past season) is this year's American Idol, a conclusion so foregone that runner-up Blake Lewis put in an application to run the mechanical bull at Saddle Ranch mere minutes after the finalists were announced last week. Indeed, the only real questions left unanswered before the bloated two-hour finale began were: What sexagenarian-and-up singers would call in favors to perform in front of a television audience of tens of millions of teenage girls? (Answer: Tony Bennett, Bette Midler, Gladys Knight, Smokey Robinson, a hologram of Fat Elvis, and the ghost of James Brown.) And: What washed-up celebrity would be this year's David Hasselhoff, caught weeping while lost in a transcendent moment in which all melts away but him, the singer who has reached down deep inside him and caressed his very soul, and Idol's all-seeing, audience-scanning cameras? The answer to this query comes after the jump, at precisely 3:44 of Midler's moving performance of that one song she does:

And The Winner Of American Idol 2007 Season Six Finale Is... [YouTube]
Bette Midler American Idol Finale Wind Beneath My Wings Live [YouTube]