"A lot of people I met when I was undercover insisted Cruise was the number 1 man. Cruise is the star there, and, like in his films, no one at the Church got top billing over him. Church officials told me that everyone, including David Miscavige [scientology's Chairman of the Board] do whatever Cruise says. Basically, they act as his puppets."

Beyond Halperin's argument that Morton got the actor's ranking wrong, he claims Morton "didn't even bother to interview Scientology. Even after the church invited him to go on a tour and [offered] an interview, Morton, for some reason, refused to do it." Oddly, Halperin says the church and Tom Cruise are "pissed off at [Morton]." But ... they're not pissed off at Halperin for faking his identity in order to unveil specific, straight-to-gay tactics? We're waiting to hear from Morton, whose Placenta Hijacking story still holds a place in our heart, regardless of its authenticity.

In this clip from Inside Edition, Morton fervently defends his assertions that Cruise is probably almost definitely the Church's Number Two, that Suri could very well be perceived by some Church members of being the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard, and that Cruise has knowingly and willingly sought to befriend the Beckhams for his own nefarious, probably-not- entirely-based-on- how-fabulous-he-thinks-Posh-is reasons. Equally shocking: How much Hubbard looks like Scott Thompson from The Kids in the Hall.

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