<![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, clip]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: defamer, clip]]> http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/clip http://gawker.com/tag/defamer/clip <![CDATA[Three Worst Red Carpet Flubs By Ryan Seacrest]]> It's not that we don't sympathize with Ryan Seacrest. The Oscar red carpet is a relentless stream of thin-skinned celebrities. But the celebrity interviewer seemed especially cringe-inducing this year.

Maybe it was a lack of preparation. Cultural insensitivity. Or maybe Seacrest is just getting tired of this sort of work. In any case, he was off his game. Examples:


Weird foreign kids who don't speak English confound poor Seacrest

What was Seacrest thinking? He was unprepared to read the names of some Indian kids from the cast of Slumdog Millionaire. The logical thing to do, then, would be to ask each child to quickly say his or her name. Instead, he briefly held an illegible piece of paper up to the camera. Then he asked the disappointed kids to all shout their names at once. They wisely ignored him.

There was some awkwardness over English, which some of the kids did not speak, and which Seacrest made them feel pretty much as terrible as possible about. (After we posted about this last night, commenters pointed us toward the other Seacrest flubs.)


Seacrest asks whether Slumdog cast real-live SLUM-DWELLERS

The host was fascinated that director Danny Boyle used actual slumdogs or whatever. Boyle reminded him that they try to think of the poor kids as normal human beings instead of total freaks. Then his eyes asked if Seacrest couldn't do the same.


Seacrest asks Marisa Tomei where she's been the past 15 years

Yes, she's made movies since My Cousin Vinny, Ryan. Dig the death stare at the end.

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<![CDATA[Dangerous Pant- And Tree-Snakes Abound In Best Porn Intro Ever!]]> · You'll likely have many questions after watching the Best Porn Intro Ever. We'll likely not have answers. Still, that doesn't detract from the fact that this is, without a doubt, the best. Porn. Intro. Ever. [YouTube]
· Mark Burnett is being sued for $70 million by Mr. Drummond. Oh wait—that's Conrad Bain. Never mind. [ABCNews.com]
· Ladies and gentlemen: We proudly present the shirtless, out-of-work bartenders who'll be standing around a kitchen island saying racist things on this summer's tenth edition of Big Brother! [Yahoo]
· Something about Madonna's return to gossip bad-girl status has sent her running back into the arms of her former stunt-lesbian tonsil-field-hockey-partner, Britney Spears, for comfort. Britney got a job out of it. [CNN]
· OMGZ! Some of David Lynch's favorite restaurants are some of our favorite restaurants! (Actually we're only sort of feigning surprise. We've seen him sitting outside Figaro about 12 zillion times.) [LAT]
· And finally, a hearty congratulations to our own videostronomer Molly McAleer, named by Urlesque as one of 20 "Bloggers We Want To See In Bikinis." It's her two-piece-rocking world. We just live in it. [Urlesque]

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<![CDATA[Sarah Silverman's Handy Shortcut To Sitcom Relatability]]>
· In addition to Barbara Walters' harrowing tale of bathroom stall imprisonment, The View also featured Sarah Silverman's explanation of why she murdered her parents.
· Casey Affleck dashes your Ocean's 14 dreams.
· Once Britney Spears slows the rate of her weekly meltdowns, the glossies can always rely on Jennifer Aniston's lucrative image to move checkout stand product.
· The revived Jericho hopes to feed off the carcass of whatever new CBS series fails first.
· Spoiler alert: Even when it seems like the Chipmunks aren't going to overcome their greatest challenge, career disaster will be averted at the last minute, and they'll share a round of celebratory high-fives while taking in a stunning view of the Los Angeles skyline.

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<![CDATA[Paparazzi Turns The Tables On Britney Spears Turning The Tables On Paparazzi]]>
If Britney Spears is really interested in disempowering the paparazzi who stalk her day and night, merely carrying around a camcorder to cleverly reverse the predator/prey relationship (really, why hasn't any other famous person thought of such an elegant commentary on celebrity obsession before?), she's going to have to commit to the concept fully. Until she follows one of those swarming photographers as he climbs into his car and aims her camera at his crotch, screaming, "Rocco! Over here, Rocco! Are your balls hanging out of your shorts, Rocco? Lemme just see a little nut, Rocco!" she's unlikely to make anyone reflect on their role in the tabloid-industrial complex.

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<![CDATA[I Heart Showalter]]>

Our friends over at CollegeHumor kept the cameras rolling during a particularly difficult shoot for their The Michael Showalter Showalter series, capturing behind-the-scenes video of a dramatic on-set meltdown the likes of which Hollywood hasn't witnessed in hours. But before you vilify the talented—but notoriously difficult—Showalter for his outburst, please realize that infamous diva Paul Rudd was clearly asking for it with his unrelenting bitching following each take.

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<![CDATA[Sanjaya Slaughters No Doubt Song, But Decides To Spare Gwen Stefani's Life]]>

On last night's edition of American Idol, pony-hawked karaoke incubus Sanjaya Malakar, did not, as we hoped he might, sprout enormous bat wings halfway through his pitch-raping rendition of "Bathwater," snatch a scandalized Gwen Stefani from the side of the stage, and ascend to the rafters, where he would hungrily gnaw at her flesh as hundreds of terrified audience members stampeded from the room, hoping to absorb some of her pop-star essence for his own nefarious use on subsequent performances.

No, this week the Destroyer of Popular Music was content to leech energy from the soul of the doomed woman who's slowly starving herself to death in a brave effort to resist his campaign of unspeakable evil and just go about his off-key business, failing to even repeat last week's Satanic parlor trick of assuming the form of a feather-haired Medusa who can paralyze little girls with uncontrollable sobs. We're not interested in making any of you relive last night's horror, but we will pass along the clip delivered to our inbox, which shows how Malakar built up his strength for his demonic mission by feasting upon the souls of the faithful entranced by his interpretation of beloved spirituals.

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