"Yeah, we played tennis and we were playing partners and friends," she says. "There is no romance, and we are just friends. No love, nothing. That is all I have to say."

Duchovny's lawyer weighed in on the matter to People:

"The stories about an alleged affair between David Duchovny and his tennis instructor, Edit Pakay, are completely false," attorney Larry Stein says..."Ms. Pakay denied the rumors to me in person last Friday, saying they are just friends, and in addition, said in writing that such stories are 'lies and deceit," he says.

Shame on you, America, for assuming that Pakay was attempting to imply an affair with innocent statements like "I don't want to be the third person in the marriage but I know it can be seen that way." Can't a tennis coach sell her story to a British tabloid, provide personal photos of herself and Owen Wilson, and drop incriminating hints about her ex-employer without everyone jumping to conclusions? Now, if you'll excuse her, Ms. Pakay has to go recreate some notorious teacup pictures for Life & Style — by which she means nothing, ravenous media wolves!

• David Duchovny's Tennis Instructor Denies Affair [E!]

• Lawyer: David Duchovny Denies Affair with Tennis Instructor [People]

In a story published Saturday in the Daily Record, Smith was quoted saying: "Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'let me do the most evil thing I can do today.' I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good.' "

The quote was preceded by the writer's observation: "Remarkably, Will believes everyone is basically good."

Over the weekend, dozens of celebrity gossip Web sites posted articles about the comment, many saying that Smith believed that Hitler was a "good" person.

"It is an awful and disgusting lie," Smith said in a statement Monday provided by his publicist. "It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen. I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation."

"Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet," read the statement.

Not even we are so cynical as to draw connections between this sudden resurgence in Führer discourse and lifelong Smith bromance partner Tom Cruise's upcoming Valkyrie—a film whose premise, after all, hangs upon the fact that Hitler was evil enough to warrant assassination by a dashing, one-eyed German in the first place. (Or was he? See the movie, and discuss!) Hopefully, this statement will be the final word on any perceived sympathies between the megastar and the dictator, curtailing the production of homemade parody videos with titles like, "I Killed 6 Millions Jews, He's the Rapper," before they can be uploaded to YouTube.

UPDATE: The Anti-Defamation League accepts Will's clarification! Could it be long before he's tapped to play Israel's own one-eyed war hero, Moshe Dayan?

• Will Smith angry over Hitler comment interpretation [CNN]

"It's important to me to take a minute and clarify the quote about Knocked Up in Vanity Fair," Heigl tells Usmagazine.com. "I was responding to previous reviews about the movie the interviewer brought to my attention.

My motive was to encourage other women like myself to not take that element of the movie too seriously and to remember that it's a broad comedy."

Heigl adds, "Although I stand behind my opinion, I'm disheartened that it has become the focus of my experience with the movie. The truth is, it was the best filming experience of my career. Every person that was a part of making Knocked Up helped to encourage, support and inspire me. I never intended for anyone to think otherwise."

Heigl, of course, is hardly the first celebrity-profile to fall victim to time-tested, reptilian journalistic tactics, in which a reporter will relentlessly browbeat their subject, asking, "What do you say to all those strong, independent women out there who you personally let down the moment you let that internet-porn-addicted pot-fiend back into your life? Do you think he would have stuck around even one year after the credits rolled? Couldn't you hack motherhood alone, or are you one of those women who needs a man to feel fulfilled?" until the devastated actress collapses into a convulsing heap, mumbling through short breaths the money-quote sure to send magazines flying off newsstand shelves.

• Katherine Heigl: "I Stand Behind My Opinion" About Knocked Up Being "Sexist" [Us Magazine]

"He's her bodyguard and manny," says a source familiar with Shippen's employment. "They're not dating."

Shippen, a California native described by the source as "funny, but on the quiet side," is "tickled" by the attention from the media. "But he really wants to focus on his job: taking care of the kids and of her," says the source.

Shippen, the source confirms, was indeed the mustachioed security guard who helped catch Spears's son Sean Preston when the singer stumbled in New York in May 2006. At the time, Shippen was working for a security firm.

Shippen and the company parted ways soon after, but Spears recently rehired Shippen - now clean-shaven - independent of an agency. In recent days he has escorted her to a production of Wicked and to church, carrying a crying Jayden. He also has been spotted with Spears at a Beverly Hills hotel where she has been staying recently.

It's not hard to see how the media might have believed that Spears and the manny's relationship evolved from a professional to a carnal one, for there is no moment more erotically charged than that first time a harried mom and the help's eyes meet in the instant he has saved her fumbled baby from an unscheduled playdate with a hot sidewalk, as the flash of paparazzi flashbulbs inevitably heighten an already heady experience.

• Britney Spears 'Not Dating' Her Bodyguard [People]

Above, Washington explains the intended meaning of the various epithets he hurled during his non-T.R.-Knight-related clash with Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey, such as the B-word ("indicative of maybe a four-legged dog"), the P-word ("would be more like punk"—weird, we thought it might be genitalia-related), and the F-Bomb Heard Round the World ("it meant, to me, someone who is being weak — " "— a person who is not being treated — is not deserving of respect."), a round of helpful clarifications that should finally end the tabloids' regrettable fascination with an inconsequential, on-set spat.

• Transcript: Interview With Isaiah Washington [Larry King Live]
• Previously: Isaiah Washington Really Committed To This Whole Career Annihilation Thing [Defamer]