A hearty congratulations to Suri Cruise, whose highbrow taste in designer duds earned her a spot at the very top of the list (in full, here). And Tom's "stylish" little prisoner's ensemble this past 4th of July, with her flag antennae and plaid jumper, really showcase the 2-year old's sartorial eye. Shiloh pouted her way into second place, while none other than Violet Affleck received the bronze. Yes, pairing thick socks with that Ugg-ish footwear fad, "vibrant baby Crocs," really warrants the fashion spotlight. But we do award bonus points to OK! for including "typical hipster" Matilda Ledger on the list — Matilda's uncanny resemblance to her late dad is surprisingly comforting, especially in photos of the adorable 2-year old smiling.

[Photo credits: X17, Splash, Aussiebubblog]

• HOLLYWOOD'S BEST DRESSED LITTLE GIRLS [OK!]

Angelina Jolie's obstetrician, Dr. Michel Sussmann, who is watching over the 33-year-old actress at a French Riviera hospital where she is expected to give birth, called a news conference for later Wednesday afternoon.

Would he announce that her twins had been born? That remained a mystery; the hospital wouldn't say.

Jolie's partner, Brad Pitt, was seen leaving the seafront Lenval hospital Wednesday morning with one of their four young children.

At this point, any announcement from Dr. Sussmann at the very least better contain the words, "Nous ici à Saint-Angelina Divin sur la Côte d'Azur sommes ravis d'annoncer que l'utérus sacré a vidé. Mlle Jolie est maintenant l'heureux propriétaire de jumeaux, de sexe indéterminé."* We'd like to see this news conference end in cheers, cigars, and the sounds of popping champagne corks—not a mob of exhausted and unruly celebrity journalists pummeling the Hardest Working Obstetrician in Show Business.

*"We here at Saint-Angelina Divine on the French Riviera are delighted to announce that the sacred uterus has emptied. Miss Jolie is now the proud owner of twins, sex undetermined."

UPDATE: Dr. Sussmann has delivered his statement, and we're afraid it's yet more disappointment. From usmagazine.com:

Angelina Jolie hasn't given birth yet, her obstetrician, Dr. Michel Sussman, said Wednesday at a French Riviera hospital. Asked when Jolie is expected to have her twins, he replied "in the weeks to come."

How much more of this can we take? All we want is to welcome the Chosen Twins and the helium is fast leaking from our Welcome Baby Saviors! mylar balloons!

• Angelina Jolie Hospital Details [AP/HuffPo]

As the NY Daily News reported earlier this week, the chichi baby boutique Petit Tresor blabbed to the press about how many pieces of furniture that the Most Important Couple Ever had purchased and how much they spent on what sounded like incredibly tacky pieces for the twins' very pink and sparkly nursery. But another source tells today's Scoop that the decision was actually a result of arguments between Brad and Angelina, who envisioned very different styles for the sugar plum fairies' living quarters: "'Brad wanted a nursery filled with furniture with ‘clean lines’ — sort of ’60s modern and lots of natural wood colors and whites...Angelina was much more interested in creating a classic European nursery.'” What to do? Order the boutique to enlist a psychic, of course! "'The psychic was to determine the ‘vibe’ of the twins.'...Apparently it was determined the vibe was more girly than modern." Since we tend to lean on the Agent Scully side of skepticism when it comes to predicting "vibes," we're thinking this all-knowing reader of thoughts inside one's womb was simply a full-fledged member of Lesbian Chic 2008, and sided with Jolie's more ostentatious vision after a few minutes staring ominously at her pillow lips.

[Photo credit: Wireimage]

• JOLIE, PITT NURSERY DESIGNER GUIDED BY PSYCHIC [MSNBC]

Despite the fact that just about everyone and their favorite blog have known that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting two Chosen Ones this time around, heroin dabbler-turned-UN Ambassador Jolie had yet to officially confirm the news. And until a Today Show interview taped today in Cannes, featuring Jolie and co-star Jack Black promoting their upcoming animated flick Kung Fu Panda, we’re pretty sure the very pregnant actress would have kept her lips sealed until the day those magical spawns open their cherubic eyes for the first time. But thanks to an impromptu joke made by Black, Jolie was put on the spot, and clever Today host Natalie Morales took full advantage of it...

During the interview, scheduled to air tomorrow morning, the scruffy Black proved that "funny" actors will do and say just about anything to get a laugh. Unfortunately for Jolie, her co-star felt the need to crack this joke for no apparent reason: "You're gonna have as many as [the] Brady Bunch when you have these." As we all know, the feisty Brangelina tribe currently adds up to four. Being the masterful mathematician that she is, Morales struck while the iron was hot and asked Jolie if she was expecting twins. Jolie's response? "Yeah, yeah, we've confirmed that already. Well, Jack's just confirmed it actually." Despite the awkward moment, we have to give kudos to Jolie for handling the tense situation with apparent grace, and cleaning up Black's mess.

[Photo credit: NBC via People]

• ANGELINA JOLIE AND BRAD PITT EXPECTING TWINS [People]

"[Zahara] once clawed Shiloh's cheek after she tried to take her cookie...Angie gets worried when Shi plays with them...she always comes back with a scraped knee or a fat lip!"

The not-so-pretty picture painted by the source includes two distinct rivalries: one between Pax and Maddox, who favor pushing each other down, and the other between Zahara and Shiloh, often reaching its height over food. But it's not just the fact that the kids aren't getting along that has our image of the Perfect Family tainted; it's the similarities between this newly unveiled Jolie-Pitt household and that of the Spears kids that freaks us out the most. As another source puts it, "They eat fast food, pizza, chips and sugary soft drinks...Brad and Angie let them eat what they want because it brings harmony to the chaotic household." As long as there are no Cheetos or demands for "Mommy's lollipops" involved yet, we'll remain calm, but should Angelina show up wearing a tummy-baring tank top or accidentally drop a kid or two in the next few months, we're calling Child Services.

[Photo Credit: Babble]

• ANGELINA AND BRAD PITT STRUGGLE TO CONTROL THEIR KIDS [Showbiz Spy]
• BRANGELINA BUNCH: INSIDE THEIR CRAZY LIVES [Star]

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

The new issue of Us Weekly reports from Shiloh's first birthday party in the Czech Republic, where busy working mom Jolie is filming a movie; even though she couldn't be at the party until after that day's shooting was complete, the actress made sure her instructions for the celebration were carried out by partner Brad Pitt, according to Us: "'One time, when the kids were bored, [Pitt] had them all throwing empty pizza boxes as Frisbees,' says a source. 'Obviously, Shiloh was too young to join in, but you could hear her laughing.'" While the informant correctly noted the baby was too to join in on the fun, it was clear to all in attendance that the overprivileged blob understood the lesson that her mother was trying to impart with such a no-frills event: that most of the world's children don't even have empty pizza boxes to play with on their birthdays.

• Shiloh's Big Birthday Bash! [Us Weekly]
• Previously: Jolie-Pitt Biological OffspringWatch: The Chosen One Arrives [Defamer]

"I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they're survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her...I met my other kids when they were 6 months old, they came with a personality. A newborn really is this...Yes, a blob! But now she's starting to have a personality...I'm conscious that I have to make sure I don't ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable."

To her credit, Jolie seems conscious of her bias against Shiloh and is taking the proper steps to correct any neglectful behavior; for example, when she hears her daughter's mewling over the baby monitor, she no longer storms into the nursery and scolds, "You think you're hungry? Don't you realize that your sister Zee never even saw food before I rescued her from that refugee camp and took her to a meal at the Four Seasons? Now stop crying and take a minute to think about how easy you've got it, you spoiled little thing."

• Angelina Calls Shiloh A "Blob" [Us Weekly]

A fearless photographer for Hello! magazine risked the searing of his retinas by training his camera lens on Shiloh Nouvel, the genetically flawless biological offspring of globe-trotting United Nations Goodwill Ambassadors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, in an attempt to document the baby's progress from Chosen newborn to toddling Savior of All Mankind (pictured, gently bathed in the distracting divine light that will continue to fade as she ages) for the future generations of children who will be delivered from poverty, pestilence, and substandard nanny care by the messianic celebrity progeny. We recommend that you only view the other photos from the spread (taken during the family's recent, fruitless orphan-recruiting trip to Cambodia) through a pane of smoked glass, as gazing on the unfiltered Good of Shiloh's visage will result in an irreversible blindness that not even direct exposure to the miracle-brining child can possibly cure.

• Brad & Angelina NEW Hello shoot with Shiloh & family [JJB]

• 'Heart' beating [Variety]

We recognize that you probably didn't have the patience to sit through two solid hours of Anderson Cooper chatting with Angelina Jolie about her many, many charitable works, so we've helpfully condensed the overlong interview down to the only part you care about: when she talks about her kids. Jolie somewhat shockingly reveals that the birth of Shiloh has factionalized her brood—Maddox has embraced his new sister, while jealous Zahara is still suspicious of the baby. This crucial admission reinforces that Jolie's use of strategic adoption is to correct the undue influence of the the newly-formed Cambodian-Biological bloc on intrafamilial policy, not color-balance her children for the purpose of more striking People cover shoots.

• Anderson Cooper 360 [CNN.com]
• Angelina Jolie Not Done Collecting Refugees [Defamer]

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's baby has made what may be her first fashion statement, appearing on the cover of People magazine in a $42 T-shirt sold by a Denver boutique and triggering a tidal wave of orders. [...]

"Obviously, if she wore something of ours, that would be awesome," Belly employee Janci Clawson told the Rocky Mountain News in Tuesday's editions. "But it was more of a `thank you' to Angelina for doing so much for women and children around the world."

Belly co-owner Janci Frisby said she has also sent clothes to Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Garner and Gwen Stefani but got no response.

It deeply saddens us to see the Chosen One's first miraculous act tainted by the boutique employee's disingenuous claim that the gifted t-shirt was some kind of no-strings-attached reward for Jolie's charity, a sin compounded by the revelation that lesser celebrity offspring, whose mothers collectively can boast of no good work greater than keeping Ben Affleck in Starbucks money, were offered the same freebie. May Shiloh have mercy on their trendy baby clothes whoring souls.

• Jolie-Pitt Baby Sets Off Fashion Fever [AP]

We're told Brad's personal bodyguard, whom he regularly travels with, was at the estate all day today. In addition, food was delivered today and pastries have been laid out on the kitchen counter.

Flower arrangements were delivered today as well, and interior furniture and patio furniture are now fully in place.

The full security staff is on hand, as are guard dogs.

We must say, we held out on fully accepting the joyous news until reading of the Blessed Kitchen Counter Croissants, which, as devout followers already know, are one of the Three Sacred Signs of the Malibu Advent. (The other two being a giant basket of Sprinkles cupcakes from Jolie's agent sitting on a coffee table, and an attack dog trotting up to the front door with a paparazzo's foot in his mouth.) Huzzah! The Chosen One is here!

• EXCLUSIVE: Brangelina Already Back? [TMZ]

The fast-moving outbreak has killed 7 Namibians and paralyzed 33 more, and panicked citizens have deluged hospitals seeking immunization against polio. But there was very little vaccine in the country — only enough for routine vaccination of infants — so supplies quickly ran out and people were turned away. [...]

Namibia, a desert country of 2 million people on Africa's southwest coast, is rarely in the news, but it has seen intense coverage in gossip columns recently because Angelina Jolie gave birth there on May 27 to her daughter with Brad Pitt.

It was not clear yesterday whether Namibia's most famous newborn, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, had been vaccinated against polio. The vaccine is not normally given until a child is two months old, but immunizations at birth are being done experimentally in parts of India where the disease is endemic, Dr. Heymann said.

We have no doubt the child's storied healing abilities ensure immunity for herself and her family, though their decision to high-tail it to a polio-free Malibu doesn't sound like the worst idea at the moment. Scribes of the New New Testament, meanwhile, are watching events closely, trying to figure out how so much preventable death and suffering could possibly accompany the arrival of the Chosen One.

• W.H.O. Judges Polio Outbreak as 'Highly Unusual' [NY Times]

• New Video: Angelina Goes On and On ... Brad Just Listens [TMZ]

"There is nothing in the air. The focus is the kids, and we are obviously extremely committed to the children and as parents together," Jolie told a news conference. "So that kind of says it for us, and to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing."

We hate to criticize two people who have already done more good through the act of procreation than anyone since the Virgin Mary, but this decision does seem a little selfish and shortsighted. Since they've already passed up a chance to sell Shiloh at the peak of her value, auctioning their wedding photos (a picture of mohawked ring-bearer Maddox in a tuxedo could bring millions on its own) could help make up some of the financial shortfall from that squandered opportunity.

• Jolie and Pitt Deny Marriage Plans [AP]

January 2005: Aniston and Pitt end their four-year marriage. Aniston and Pitt announce their separation. The split is finalized in October, paving the way for Pitt and Jolie, already rumored to be romantically involved, to start practicing making baby Shiloh. (Both Pitt and Jolie have denied having intimate relations before Pitt's divorce with Anniston was finalized). [...]

Late 2005: Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt is conceived. Precise details have yet to be released. [...]

June 2006: Shiloh's first photo shoot. Mom and Dad agree to allow young Shiloh to be photographed, but tell the world they will sell photos of their baby girl to the highest bidder and then donate the proceeds to charity. Getty Images, the agency charged with licensing the photographs, vouches for Shiloh's future as a superstar. "The images are beautiful — very intimate, casual and not Hollywood glitz," it says.

Considering the aesthetic magnificence of the subjects, we're not at all surprised at the beauty of the first photos, and we're especially heartened that Hello! magazine took the understated route by focusing on a simple moment of joy between mother, father, and newborn, tastefully cropping out the manger and the wise men hovering nearby.

• A Short Biography of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt [LAT]

Thank you in advance, blessed Shiloh, for all the great things you are about to do.

UPDATE: We swapped in the now internet-ready People cover for the original Hello! version because...well, you know, lawyers and junk.

• Shiloh Jolie Pitt is HERE! [OHNOTHEYDIDN'T]
• There Is No Theoretical Limit To Brangelina's Charitable Works [Defamer]