Best Supporting Actress: Rinko Kinkuchi, Babel
Best Supporting Actor: Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond
Best Actress: Penelope Cruz, Volver
Best Actor: Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Best Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel
Best Picture: Dreamgirls

Unconventional? Sure. But while we suspect he was doing schtick, we don't recommend that anyone attempt to break the bad news about Dreamgirls to him. As we all know by now, the psyches of Chinese Theatre performers are fragile things, and such a crushing disappointment could easily send him spiralling into the kind of violent episode that claimed the career of Tour-Guide-Brutalizing Chewbacca earlier this month.

[Photo: Yukoki/Flickr]

• Previously: Rampaging Chewbacca Arrested For Act Of Wookie-On-Tour-Guide Violence [Defamer]

The peace of the Hollywood Eden represented by the area in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, that idyllic commune where seekers from around the globe gather to connect themselves to the show business continuum by placing their hands inside concrete indentations left by performers both living and dead, was momentarily shattered yesterday, when an aggressively panhandling faux-Chewbacca crashed his skull into the head of a brave tour guide disturbed by the renegade Wookie's attempt to perpetuate the kind of Polaroid-proffering extortion police are eager to expunge from the city. Reports the LAT:

Police said that 6-foot-4 street performer was seen arguing with a 32-year-old Star Line Tours tour guide, who had expressed concern that the wookie impersonator was "harassing and touching tourists" in violation of the city law.

The security guards, who work for the Hollywood Business Improvement District, escorted him off theater property. But police said Young, like the Empire, decided to strike back.

"Chewbacca head-butted the tour guide," Vernon said. "Security guards saw it and ended up detaining him."

A police source said that a performer dressed as Superman witnessed the assault and was interviewed by police. He was not identified.

Lest you believe that only Fake Superman was brave enough to decry the outlaw Wookie's actions, we direct you to the video accompanying this local news story on the incident, in which Vaguely Disappointed Spider-Man, Mumble-Mouthed Scream Guy, Incomprehensible Pinhead (most damning quote: "MMMMGGG BRRRG KKTTFFGN!!!"), and Unconvincing Jack Sparrow all have their say, doing their part to defend their slice of the Boulevard from the likes of this scofflaw, head-butting interloper.

• Ersatz Chewbacca succumbs to dark side [LAT]
• Person Dressed as Chewbacca Arrested in Hollywood [ABC7.com via DefenseTech.org]