A Chewbacca impersonator is accused of sexually assaulting a Marilyn Monroe impersonator in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then reportedly evaded arrest, police said.

According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress's hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists. [...]

Chewbacca, whose real name was not available, fled before police arrived, Torres said.

However, Torres is sure the hairy assailant would be caught soon.

As of press time, it was still unknown if this Chewbacca was the same one who head-butted a mouthy tour guide back in February and who more recently was involved in Capeless Batman's altercation with some Porta-Potty-hogging picketers. Even without this information, we trust that local law enforcement will soon capture the fugitive Wookiee, who likely won't be able to resist the temptation of returning to the scene of the crime and offering tourists the opportunity to take a Polaroid of their favorite Star Wars sidekick grabbing a handful of Busty Wonder Woman's Amazonian cleavage for a mere five dollars.

• Chewbacca Allegedly Assaults Marilyn In Hollywood [CBS2.com]
• Chewbacca wanted for sexual assaulting Marilyn Monroe [Blogging.la]
• Rampaging Chewbacca Arrested For Act Of Wookie-On-Tour-Guide Violence [Defamer]

RESOLVE to DECLARE May 25, 2007 as Star Wars Day in the City of Los Angeles and also recognize George Lucas' 1977 film Star Wars for its tremendous impact on the citizenry of Los Angeles, the film industry and the world, and for continuing to inspire after thirty years millions of people to explore movies, fantasy, literature, and science as means of achieving their goals and dreams,

Presented by: [signed] Jan Perry Councilwoman Ninth District

The citywide festivites are timed to coincide with the Celebration IV international fan gathering, where, among a mindboggling array of Star Wars-themed activities, the "largest Slave Leia photo shoot ever" will be mounted around an actual-size replica of their fearsome mafioso mollusk keeper, Jabba the Hutt. Mark you calendars: It will surely be a joyous time to have landed on the Paved Planet of Hollywood, as our finer dining establishments and social clubs are inifiltrated by Princess Padmes and Admiral Akbars from around the globe, and local year-round zealot, Head-Butting Chewbacca, will receive an official pardon from Mayor Villaraigosa at a planned clemency ceremony outside the Chinese Theater.

• City Council: May 25th Declared Star Wars Day in Los Angeles [la.curbed.com]

• When Capt. America Throws His Mighty Burrito [TSG]
• Previously: Batman And Chewbacca Vs. The Crapper-Guarding Picketers [Defamer]

Batman reportedly insisted on using a portable toilet that was rented by local union workers who were picketing a local business on the boulevard. An argument between the performer and some of the picketers escalated, whereupon Batman proceeded to remove his cape and assume an aggressive posture, taunting the picketers and appearing to pick a fight.

Another street performer dressed as Chewbacca came along and Batman apprised him of the situation. Chewbacca then removed his head-mask and confronted the picketers as well.

Soon thereafter, the LAPD arrived on the scene and arrested Batman.

According to Michael Neiter, a local artist who happened to be on the scene: "I think a lot of the characters and people out here get treated unfairly by the police. They [the police] tend to be a little rough-handed; they arrest people when they really don't need to."

Street performer "Hollywood Afro-man" who witnessed the altercation, held the opposite view: "He's [Batman] no good for here, that's why a lot of the characters named him 'Bat-trash' — because he's got a trashy mouth."

The LAPD said Batman became belligerent when he was taken to the station, began banging his head, and even kicked out a window in a patrol car.

Head-Butting Chewbacca, no stranger to the character-persecuting LAPD's strongarm tactics, seems to have learned little from his previous run-in with the law, but the loyal Wookiee should be commended for stepping in for emergency sidekick duty while Capeless Batman's not-so-trusty ward Chickenshit Robin disappeared into the Grauman's courtyard. And while it's easy to fall into the trap set by judgmental Hollywood Afro-Man's comments and paint all of the Polaroid-wielding heroes of Hollywood Boulevard with the same trashy brush, we should all take care to remember that the vast majority of them manage to conduct their tourist shakedowns in a classy, nonviolent fashion.

Bonus! Additional video footage from Jimmy Kimmel Live below! And also! Batman's previous defense of Chewbacca here. But wait, one more! The Montecito Heights, Above the City blog's firsthand account and a photo of the arrest here. And yet another for the road: Remember when the Batmen fought? Good Bat-times!

• 'Holy Handcuffs!' Batman Arrested on Hollywood Blvd. [ABC7.com]
• Bad Batman [Montecito Heights, Above the City via Blogging.la]

· She's right, you know: If you're looking for the number 24 everywhere, you're going to find it everywhere.
· All that is required for the triumph of neglectful-pop-star-parent-evil is that good nannies be silent.
· Banging Harvey Weinstein has absolutely nothing to do with Marchesa's Georgina Chapman getting her designs onto the bodies of Oscar nominees who may want to work with Weinstein in the future.
· If Chinese Theatre Spider-Man's Oscar picks weren't your thing, how about some by a creepy ventriloquist's dummy?
· And speaking of the Chinese Theatre characters, the Chewbacca headbutt comes right at about the two minute mark on this one.
· Katie Holmes: Vagina Warrior. We'll leave it up to you to figure out on your own what horrors might lurk at that link's destination.

The peace of the Hollywood Eden represented by the area in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, that idyllic commune where seekers from around the globe gather to connect themselves to the show business continuum by placing their hands inside concrete indentations left by performers both living and dead, was momentarily shattered yesterday, when an aggressively panhandling faux-Chewbacca crashed his skull into the head of a brave tour guide disturbed by the renegade Wookie's attempt to perpetuate the kind of Polaroid-proffering extortion police are eager to expunge from the city. Reports the LAT:

Police said that 6-foot-4 street performer was seen arguing with a 32-year-old Star Line Tours tour guide, who had expressed concern that the wookie impersonator was "harassing and touching tourists" in violation of the city law.

The security guards, who work for the Hollywood Business Improvement District, escorted him off theater property. But police said Young, like the Empire, decided to strike back.

"Chewbacca head-butted the tour guide," Vernon said. "Security guards saw it and ended up detaining him."

A police source said that a performer dressed as Superman witnessed the assault and was interviewed by police. He was not identified.

Lest you believe that only Fake Superman was brave enough to decry the outlaw Wookie's actions, we direct you to the video accompanying this local news story on the incident, in which Vaguely Disappointed Spider-Man, Mumble-Mouthed Scream Guy, Incomprehensible Pinhead (most damning quote: "MMMMGGG BRRRG KKTTFFGN!!!"), and Unconvincing Jack Sparrow all have their say, doing their part to defend their slice of the Boulevard from the likes of this scofflaw, head-butting interloper.

• Ersatz Chewbacca succumbs to dark side [LAT]
• Person Dressed as Chewbacca Arrested in Hollywood [ABC7.com via DefenseTech.org]