Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello has the news that in an upcoming episode of the the show, Chuck makes out with a guy. He doesn't actually go gay (though his outfits always have been) but he does it to help Blair along with one of her little schemes. Looks like Chuck would do anything for love, including that. The lucky fellow is Neal Bledsoe (see him shirtless here) and he guest stars in the sixth episode. In our gay minds, actor Ed Westwick orchestrated this whole thing to make former roommate Chace Crawford jealous. Yeah, even our fantasy life sounds exactly like an episode of Gossip Girl

Oh dear God. Porcelain sex robot Chace Crawford will be Ren McCormack. Though Zac Efron was long ago maybe going to star in the upcoming Footloose, he backed out because, you know, no homo. So the Gossip Girl actor has now been cast and the whole movie has sprung a leak. [Variety]

Oh, good. The up-and-coming young actress Melissa Leo has been cast in David O. Russell's The Fighter, playing Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale's moms. [Variety]

Jackass Chris Pontius has just been called up to the artsy leagues. He'll play a role in auteur Sofia Coppola's new movie Somewhere. Playing the lead in that movie about a fried-out rock 'n roller living at the Chateau Marmont? None other than our old, long-lost friend Stephen Dorff. Good for him. Elle Fanning is also in it. So. [THR]

Lostie Matthew Fox has left ICM for the new mega-agency WME, forged in the volcanic fires of William Morris and Endeavor's god-like lovemaking. So hopefully for Fox this means less Speed Racer and Vantage Point and more, well... anything else. [Variety]

Good news for those of you helplessly addicted to those wonderful crystals, those glassy things that burn and smolder and give you energy and keep you up for hours, and are dangerous in that "I'm alive!" kind of way. No, Ricky your meth dealer hasn't figured out the science from Breaking Bad ("I want blue meth like the TV, and I want it now.") It's just that Robert Pattinson's sparkly vampire skin diamonds will be twinkling for a fourth Twilight movie. Aren't you happy? [THR]

Huh. Benjamin Bratt's dirge-like A&E drama The Cleaner has been picked up for a second season. So, well, that's nice. [Variety]

Though the first one hasn't even been released, Warner Bros. has already struck a deal with director Todd Phillips to create a sequel to The Hangover, a comedy starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis. The film has apparently tested well and a trailer had people rolling in the aisles at ShoWest. [Variety] Joel Schumacher, the sometimes-hackish director who nearly killed the Batman franchise until Christopher Nolan, dressed as Florence Nightingale, ran over to save it, has assembled one of the weirder casts possible for his new movie, Twelve. The film about youth and drugs and murder, based on a book, will star 50 Cent, Ellen Barkin, Kiefer Sutherland, Nancy Drew, the youngest acting Culkin, and Chace Crawford. [Variety]

As if there wasn't enough crap on TBS and TNT already, Turner has just signed a deal with Tyler Perry, getting first network TV rights to his oeuvre. Perhaps it's the Atlanta connection that keeps the two juggernauts working together (TBS airs two Tyler Perry-created shows)? Turner has also cornered the market on Jason Statham movies, picking up Crank 2: High Voltage, The Transporter 3, and the actually pretty good The Bank Job. [Variety]

New Line has cast area creepo Jackie Earle Haley as its next Freddy Krueger. The movie haus is putting together a sequel/reboot of their classic kills-you-in-your-sleep franchise, creatively titled A Nightmare On Elm Street. It's good casting, but man oh man must Robert Englund be pissed. [Variety] Jason Katims, the busy showrunner type from Friday Night Lights and the upcoming Parenthood, has signed on to steer another series. This one is called Dorothy Gale and is modern Wizard of Oz story about a girl who moves from Kansas to big, bad Manhattan to pursue her dream of working in the art world. Katims' first act as boss? Deeming the original title, Ugly Dorothy Has Sex in the City with Her Friends and then Meets Your Mother, too long. [Variety]

Erstwhile Hollywood star Christina Ricci has been cast in the new Adam Sandler movie, though it doesn't look as though Sandler himself will star. But he did write it! It's about a guy who discovers that his parents were secretly porn stars in the 70's, so he moves to Hollywood to continue the proud family tradition. Ricci plays the confused girlfriend. [THR] Speaking of comedy, the CW is jettisoning its half-hour sitcom programming at the end of this season, but one of its sitcoms, The Game, is hoping to stay on. Show creator Mara Brock Akil is expected to pitch the show as an hour-long dramedy. The series, about wives of famous athletes, is a spin-off from the net's more successful series Girlfriends. As THR gently points out, the rest of the net's series are "far less urban," mostly because they don't have many black people on them. So it might be a tough sell. [THR]

Chris Meloni, "a day at the beach"
What It's Probably Supposed to Say: Meloni is really a fun lovin' guy! He's not that brooding, getting-too-close-to-the-case-all-the-damn-time Eliot Stabler he plays on SVU. He really is just like that funny man we've seen in Wet Hot American Summer and Gym Teacher.
What It Really Says: Aside from the obvious, you know, seafood jokes, that he's quietly sad and wishes he could have fun and stare at the ever-rolling waves rather than talk about rape and murder all day.

Michael Phelps, L'Homme YSL
What It's Probably Supposed To Say: That he's suave and classy.
What It Really Says: While People apparently denies this is product placement, we kinda doubt it isn't. So this means that lil' Neptune has become a total corporate shill since winning 1.5 million gold medals at the Chinalympics. I mean, we've known this for some time, and who can blame the kid for cashing in on his new-found fame. But you'd think that a young man as passionate about swimming as he seems to be would chose, like, "the smell of chlorine" or something. But he probably doesn't find that sexy anymore. No, that's work. The money is sexy. Giant swimming pools full of cologne-smelling money.

Taye Diggs, “vanilla, chocolate, sandalwood and musk essential oils"
What It's Probably Supposed To Say: These are pretty cliche! And sorta like sexy sexy. I guess this means that he's a just a smooth, sensual, lover brother who will give you the passionate time of your life when you're on vacation in Jamaica, escaping the grind with your friend, happy to be briefly away from your busy life being a single mom to your son back in San Francisco. Oh. Wait. That was just a movie. Um, I guess it just means that his wife, Broadway star Idina Menzel, is just a very, very happy woman.
What It Really Says: Actually, that's probably it.

Chace Crawford, "fresh cut grass"
What It's Probably Supposed To Say: Well apparently Miss Crawford says of the smell: "[I] grew up playing a lot of football and golf ... When I smell freshly cut grass I get this air of competition. It wakes me up, gets me going." So, he's a good clean all-American boy!
What It Really Says: That thinking of football and sweat and sports makes him feel sexy! That is totally normal! Lots of men feel like that. Big, strong manly men like Rock Hudson and Richard Chamberlain and Tab Hunter. Either that or he's just a young man who gets a bit peckish when thinking of balmy, breezy summer and, well, um, the neighbor boy who used to mow the lawn across the street in nothing but gym shorts.

WHAT'S NEW: The Pepto-Bismol is on ice at Weinstein Co. headquarters, where Harvey awaits the numbers for Kevin Smith's hopeful studio-savior Zack and Miri Make a Porno. But anyone who has followed our own prophetic Zack and Miri coverage since last summer is at least a couple steps ahead: Our predicted $14 million opening is right about where the raunchy Seth Rogen/Elizabeth Banks comedy is tracking, faced with heavy competition from holdover Saw V and other holiday hellraising outside the 'plex. Still, it's not a terrible showing; it will fall about $4 million shy of High School Musical 3's number-one spot, but should have relatively strong legs in weeks two and three, which is about the most Harvey can hope for with a movie he can't even market accurately.

Clint Eastwood and Angelina Jolie's Changling killed last week in limited release ($33,000 per screen) on its way to an 1,800-screen expansion today. Jolie portrays Christine Collins, whose son's kidnapping in 1928 led to one of the most damning police-corruption scandals in Los Angeles history. Plenty of critics are down on the star as some hysterical dervish chewing up Eastwood's period scenery, but we don't see the point in criticizing an unapoloegtic melodrama for being successful at what it does. Eastwood cranks out lugubrious movies for adults, emphasizing presence and technique; Jolie matches him step-for-step. What's the problem? It's a likely top-three finisher at $10.7 million and probably the best thing going wide today, and either way it's preferable to dealing with costumed punks at your doorstep for three hours.

Also opening: The animated suspense anthology Fear(s) of the Dark; the midnight-movie horror-comedy-romance Just Buried; the indie gorefest Splinter; and the bleak circus dramedy Little Big Top.

THE BIG LOSER: The teen-possesion The Haunting of Molly Hartley has little but a brow-furrowed turn from Chace Crawford and a laugh-out-loud trailer voiceover from the late Don LaFontaine to recommend it. If this breaks $4 million this weekend en route to Flopz, we will personally finance the sequel ourselves.

THE UNDERDOG: Paul Krik's 9/11-noir Able Danger is a nifty, paranoiac piece of work, a kind of Maltese Falcon meets JFK rendered in startling monochrome that defies the far more complicated scenario faced by its protagonist: Adam Nee plays a Brooklyn bookshop staffer and renowned conspiracy theorist chipping away at the German connection to the 9/11 terrorists. A mysterious femme fatale (Elina Löwensohn) drops in from nowhere, exposing the writer and his colleagues to secret agents, counteragents and all the deadly cloak-and-dagger mischief they imply. Krik's deft chemistry of density, humor and style are all the more admirable for the microbudget that enabled them; even if you don't understand a lick of it (and we can't say we've quite caught up ourselves), we think you'll appreciate the opportunity to give it a try.

FOR SHUT-INS: New DVD release include the Halloween must-see Zombie Strippers and a surplus of diverse, essential TV collections: NewsRadio: The Complete Series, Good Times: The Complete Series, Sanford and Son: The Complete Series and The Flintstones: The Complete Series. It must be the holidays.

So are you into Porno? Is it your time to catch up with HSM3? More importantly, have you seen Synecdoche, New York yet? Get on it, already; this week's crop seems to be making it easy for you.

Chace is cheerfully reeling off the indictments against him. "Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface.' So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface."

Somewhere, we hear America Ferrera rolling her eyes! We ask you, could a unicorn overcome its horn? Could a sun overcome its shine? Chace, kiddo, it's that "gayface" that got you where you are today. You don't disown it. You pull an American Eagle cap down over it, take it to Splash, and use it to rake in free appletinis until the bartender shouts "Last call!"

• OMFG! IT'S THE GOSSIP BOYS! [Details]

First, a closer look at the "sexy" ads in question, which include pull-quotes suggesting just how much closer potential viewers will get to the cool kids' table. Watching this show is so dangerous! Your parents will have nightmares just thinking about the (sort of) short skirts Blair wears! Do the nasty!

Sadly, progressively heightening a show's sex appeal with ever-so-slightly hotter ads might not be the wisest move. After Buffy got the shove-off to the vintage UPN, Sarah Michelle Gellar was photographed posing in that trademark Cosmo cover stance, suggestively, maybe, possibly, on the verge of masturbation. One season later, and the series' ashes lived on in that icky spin-off Angel. As for Beverly Hills: 90210, the standard smiley group shot used in promos rarely veered far off course. But once Season 10 wheezed its final pointless breath, Donna and her new boobs sat front and center, Kelly was forced to be groped by New Brandon Replacement #47, and Steve Sanders was permitted to play "sexy" while raising a risqué, black denim-clad leg around New Brenda Replacement #287. And the poor OC decided that turning Marissa into a lesbian wasn't quite sordid enough, so the previously wholesome ads ended, along with the series, with uber-tanned Mischa pushing whatever boobage she had together in the sand, while Ryan appeared ready to give her the old in-and-out from behind (Chino-style!).

Oops. After the sight of Rachel and Monica passionately making out giving each other a friendly peck failed to increase ratings for Dirt, some genius thought the image of Courteney Cox covered in actual dirt (get it?!) would do the trick. But rather than getting new viewers all hot and bothered, everyone just felt, well, dirty (get it?! Sigh.) Finally, the recently canceled L Word used a rather obvious promotional image by shoving all the chic lipstick lesbians together in one big ol' nude orgy party. The problem with this image? See the previous sentence (specifically, the "canceled" part).

• OMG! CHECK OUT THE SEXY NEW 'GOSSIP GIRL' ADS! [People]

Though the Gossip Girl pretty boy has already doused gossip pages with gay rumors, Willis was allegedly gung-ho about grabbing the goldilock-ed birthday boy's attention. But instead of smartly following in his co-star Blake Lively's footsteps and donning a trustworthy bikini inspired by her own mother, Rumer thought a pair of her "shortest jean shorts" and impressive dance floor shenanigans would do the trick. Sadly, sources say Crawford was less interested in both her and Z-lister Brittny Gastineau's forays in conversion tactics: "He wouldn't give her the time of day." A sad moment indeed, but we do suggest Willis try her method out on Crawford's partner in fruitini-drinking crime JC Chasez, who, judging from our tipster's report months back, is much more interested in hiding his sexual preferences behind cabana doors.

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

• WOMEN COMPETING FOR CHACE CRAWFORD AT HIS BIRTHDAY [NYP]

boomp3.com

The Gossip Girl star kept a low profile waiting to meet with a mysterious friend in New York City. Crawford was reported to be humming the choruses of popular *NSYNC songs while killing time. After a half hour or so, Crawford had grown visibly impatient and decided to leave. Crawford told one of the photogs that if you're not going to be able to meet up for coffee, then you should at least hit somebody up on their beeper, so they can rearrange their life accordingly. Geez!

[Photo Credit: INF]

JC: Lets clear that up real quickly and the thing is, we don't even get to hang out that much. We are friends, absolutely, the guy is a super nice guy and he's a friend of mine but you know the only time people would usually see us together is in some type of photograph so they just assume that it's like that. You know people hang out with their best friends every day...

DJ: Well you've been with some of the hottest chicks in the world so as soon as I heard that story yesterday I was like come on. But then it was like you were in a cabana together... JC: That part is actually completely made up.

DJ: That you weren't in the cabana and he was like on all fours and you were rubbing oil all over his back. A couple of buddies hanging out, putting lotion on each other.
JC: That part of it is completely made up.

DJ: Really?
JC: I mean we weren't even at...from what I hear they say we were at the Roosevelt or something. I haven't been to the Roosevelt since the Grammys when I went and saw Mark Ronson play.

DJ: That's not what I heard, I heard you were at the Roosevelt doing yoga poses and he performed a two-finger mexican oil change on you JC.
JC: Not even close.

As we try, unsuccessfully, to wipe the image of a "two-finger Mexican oil change" from our consciousness (what does that even involve, we wonder, and do they try to upsell you to a new fanbelt and air filter?), we turn back to our high-level informant for a response, who says, "Sorry I cant make this more interesting, but I stand by it with no further comment." Conveniently coinciding with news that Crawford and Carrie Underwood are officially "dunzo," however, the rendezvous still leads us to wonder if this entire romance isn't being staged by The CW's wily marketing department in time for Gossip Girl's premiere next month. It's a theory that will all but be confirmed the first time we hear an announcer say, "This episode of Gossip Girl brought to you by Jiffy Lube: Have you had your oil changed by a two-fingered Mexican today?"

• JC Insists He's Not Gay [hollyscoop.com]

Spotted at the Roosevelt pool, Friday PM:

Pretty boy Chace Crawford darting to the bar from a private cabana. No one seemed to notice but upon further inspection, there was quite the little boys party going in the cabana—JC Chasez hiding out and Chace running around getting drinks. The two were in very different bathing suits—JC in his DG mankini and Chace in his best hetero pair of boardshorts—and later changed into a casual jeans & t-shirt look.

Before jumping to conclusions about what it means for two handsome young men to share a poolside cabana with some of their best bros, and all the mutual lotion-application that implies, we'd caution instead that nothing in this scenario should necessarily arouse any further suspicions. We're reminded of those timeless words uttered by Judah Friedlander's 30 Rock character Frank Rossitano, who, possessed by a peculiar hetero-crush on the office coffee boy, justified his increasingly desperate come-ons by explaining, "We're just two straight guys who want to enjoy each other's bodies!"

Bonus Gossip Gay Link: A male cast member will be revealed to be gay in the new season, premiering April 21. This could be the most ambitious viral marketing campaign in network history!

• Gossip Girl [The CW]