After taking center stage last week (where he belongs), babygay Kurt managed to make us cry real tears again this week. Now that he's a hero on the football team (cherish those locker room memories BGK) and come out to just about everyone, we hope that he will stop making us cry real tears. But probably not.

At least this week, he was touching and triumphant. That can't be said for all of the characters, plenty of whom were scheming for their own survival and plenty who were willing to do just about anything to keep their hopes and dreams alive.

Single Ladies: Though this was the first time we'd hear this song, it wasn't the last, and it became more and more public with each time we heard it, taking Babygay Kurt from the shame of his basement to the glory of the football field.

First, a shout out for Kurt's bedroom, which manages to look like a minimalist loft in a highrise in Hell's Kitchen while still being in his father's basement in Lima, Ohio. Way to design on a dime Kurt. He gets the girls over for a little "Single Ladies" YouTube video training, and gets caught by his father. To cover up his shame, Kurt further isolates himself in the closet by lying to his father and telling him that he's straight and on the football team. Dad seems skeptical. Um, duh.

Also in isolation is Quinn, who is pregnant and the president of the celibacy club. Oh, Quinn, you ignorant slut. She tells Finn that he impregnated her when his trick to imagine running over the mailman to keep from "arriving" too early doesn't work, and he makes a mess all over her in the hot tub. She has decided she's keeping the baby, but can't tell her parents—who we assume are conservative—or the rest of the school because, well, she's a giant hypocrite.

Just as Quinn's baby has her trapped, so does Terri's lack of a baby. She finally confesses to her hysterical sister about her hysterical pregnancy. Kendra tells Terri not to tell the truth but to keep lying. We knew we liked Kendra for a reason. Now, where to get a baby (taps index finger on chin)...?

Emma seems like she's in isolation, even though she's still dating Ken. The scowl of dissatisfaction on her face in the lunchroom was enough to make you want to wash your body down in Purell and give her a giant hug and tell her that everything would be spotless for the rest of her life.

Rachel also has to strike out on her own when Will gives Tina (that stuttering Asian girl has a name, and now we know it's Tina!) a West Side Story solo and Rachel revolts because has had a "close personal relationship with that role since the age of one." Another legacy from her gay daddies we're sure. She storms out of rehearsal, and later Will goes to talk some sense into her, but she isn't having it. Will says he wants to give everyone a chance to be a star, but Rachel is only worried about herself. She is drowning in her ambition. She's also not entirely wrong that Will resents her because he knows that he needs her but is sick of dealing with her insecurities and diva antics.

After the breakup of the Accafellas, Sandy is sitting alone in his room—in a red kimono no less—when Sue Motherfucking Sylvester comes to rescue him so that he'll ruin the Glee club. Of course, Sandy accepts and sets off on his quest to steal Rachel away from Glee with Liza Minelli and Celine Dion. Oh, the way the mind of an evil queen works.

"Taking Chances":
Rachel took a chance and tried out for the lead in the school musical which she got, of course. Since Will can no longer give her the spotlight she needs, she has thrown her hat in with Sandy. We just wonder, if they can't even get 12 people for Glee, how the hell are they going to get a full cast for a show of "Cabaret?" Is there a whole different troupe of Babygays that we haven't met yet? If there is, how long before they make Mercedes their queen?

Terri takes a big chance and tracks down Quinn, who initially tells this crazy lady to go screw, but then listens up when Terri tells her how to make her baby pretty. We know that Terri wants to play baby snatcher, and Quinn is probably hip to her bad intentions, but she's risking trusting this woman, because it's her only way out. It's not like her friends from the celibacy club are going to take her for sonograms and throw her a baby shower in the cafeteria after fifth period.

Quinn also risks her future happiness but letting Puck know that he is the father of her child. Though she never did the deed with Finn, she had sex with Puck because he "got [her] drunk on wine coolers and [she] was feeling fat that day." Puck has enough bravado to make people believe he's a big deal, but Quinn sees what he really is, a guy who is going to peak in high school. Instead of dealing with that, she sees more possibilities by lying to Finn and telling him he's the father. That way he can drag her around the country while he plays for a string of different football teams trying to make the pros. At least she got out of Lima!

Taking the biggest gamble is the football team, who needs to break their losing streak. First, they let Babygay Kurt step ball change his way onto the team as the kicker. Following the example of Walter Payton (the only thing I know about him is that he was once in a rap in a Wheaties commecial), they decide that some dancing instruction is in order. They get Mr. Shu and BG Kurt to teach them the "Single Ladies" moves. Apparently what they were already doing wasn't working, so why not something a little unorthodox?

"Tonight": When listening to this West Side Story number, the theme of the whole show finally dawned on us: it's about dreams. In the musical, the big medley—especially the parts by Maria and Tony—dream of an idealized future that is going to be set off by events that are just about to transpire. For the kids in highschool, they feel like their moment is now, and they must do something to open up the door to the great wide future.

Rachel needs to get famous so that people will stop torturing her, Kurt needs to come out so that he can move to Hell's Kitchen and get a minimalist apartment in a high rise and a boyfriend, Will needs to make Glee work so that he can feel like his life is worth something. It's about about making a dream come true.

For no one is this more evident than Quinn. When she tells Finn about the bun in her oven she sobs that she thought she was going to get out of tiny Lima, Ohio. You'd think that the most popular cheerleader in high school would be happy, but Quinn wants something more, and her little fetus sentences her to a life of house coats, soccer practice, and PTA meetings.

The same thing goes for Finn, who needs to go to college to get out of town and who needs to get a scholarship to go to college and needs the football team to win to get a scholarship. While he supports Quinn, he doesn't want the baby, or the losers on the offensive line, to tarnish his future.

Dreamy Puck wants to think of himself as someone whose future is so bright he has to wear shades, but he's really just a hot punk with a mohawk. He seems crushed by the revelation, probably crushed enough to do something rash down the road.

The most shocking dreamer, though, is Sue Motherfucking Sylvester. Even though she's achieved some success—and would like you believe that she's achieved even more—she still feels inadequate. That's why she got herself a spot on the local news spouting off about how Americans need to adopt the punishment of caning and how litter is a good thing because it keeps the garbage men employed and able to by tacos for their families. Some more gems from Sue. However, to keep her show and her dream alive, Cheerios needs to win nationals, which means she needs to squash Glee. The stakes for her are even higher, which means that she's a cornered dog. And when you have a bark and a bite as mean as Sue Sylvester's, everyone else at McKinley better watch the fuck out.

"Single Ladies," Take Two:
Starting in Kurt's basement, we've seen the dance go from being one about isolation to being about public performance. Kurt does it for the football team to "audition for the role of kicker" and now the football team does it in a Hail Mary pass to win their first game in a long time. It befuddles their opponents enough to get them a touchdown. Kurt repeats the song and kicks the winning extra point and is hoisted off to the steamy locker room scene of his dreams.

The confidence this gives our growing babygay helps him to come out to his father, who is begrudgingly supportive and the whole scene made us cry. Way to be who you are, Kurt. As far as TV coming out scenes go, this was one of our favorites, not only for being sweet, but also being pretty real. Even though dad knew the truth, he was still in denial until he heard the words, and even then it's going to take awhile for him to full accept it.

Also performing in public again are Will and Emma, who embrace when the football team wins. Why not save that for when you win regionals, Will? We all need something to look forward to, and once you two finally start doing it, it's all downhill from there. On a side note, Will, sex with a clean freak is never all that fun. If they're not willing to get dirty then, well, they're not willing to get dirty.

But leave it to Sue Motherfucking Sylvester to close out the night with a great little speech about making something with your life. She says that performing in front of a cheering crowd is no different than doing a number for a bunch of hecklers and that if you only pretend like they're cheering one day they will be. There's no better sentiment for our desperate band of dancing monkeys than that.

• Hair-raising: Celine Dion takes to the stage with furry legs [Daily Mail]

10. Gwyneth Paltrow, 2002
9. Angela Bassett, 1995
8. Rosanna Arquette, 1991

7. Sharon Stone, 1995
6. Geena Davis, 1992
5. Uma Thurman, 2004

4. Cher, 1988
3. JonBon Jovi, 1991
2. Corey Feldman, 1995

And a three-way tie for The Worst, just because they all make us cry:
Bjork, 2001
Celine Dion, 1999
Helena Bonham Carter, 1987

• OSCARS 08 [Official Site]

· The High School Musical gang has signed on for another sequel, High School Musical 3: Senior Year, which will escape from the basic cable ghetto to premiere in theaters. [Variety]
· Celine Dion: That's Just the Woman in Me, a special taped Saturday at the Wiltern will air Feb. 15 on CBS. We realize this isn't a groundbreaking announcement, but it did provide a nice excuse to run that ridiculous photo. [Variety]