Gawker: defamer, celebrity diets

C-Listers Reveal Their Scarily Obsessive Weight Loss Methods

Molly Friedman — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:40:00 EDT

At this point we’re far more informed than we’d like to be when it comes to all the freaky diet methods celebrities use to shed pounds and pull off that whole homeless glam look Colin Farrell’s currently sporting. But while A-listers tend to either keep mum on the subject (like Katie Holmes and Renee Zellweger) or blab endlessly about being “obsessed with potato chips!” and eating “fried food every day!” (Catherine Zeta-Jones and Angelina Jolie), the press-hungry lesser-knowns have yet to learn the rules. In the upcoming issue of TV Guide, ten small-screen stars commit major overshares about how their body obsession is weighing on their mindgrapes. Find out who dropped major pounds just because TMZ published pictures of her “very, very soft” stomach, who only vacuums in heels to tone her calves, and which former “fat baby” admits to working out for over an hour every day, after the jump.

According to the not-yet-out piece, The Hills’ Audrina Patridge, nude photo aficionado and recent recipient of a brand new pair of boobs, is so focused on maintaining her widely-seen curves that she sports those 4-inch health-impairing stilettos every Sex And The City fan thinks will turn them into Carrie Bradshaw while cleaning house. And thin-as-a-rail Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly uncomfortably yammers on about how she once weighed in at an apparently unacceptable 135 pounds and “literally stopped eating...I’d do Bikram yoga and go to bed. I lost 15 pounds in one month.” We hope the John Mayer tossaway can forgive us for not immediately rising to our feet and giving Minka a standing ovation.

Even picky sperm selector Denise Richards goes overboard in her interview, treating the TVG reporter like a shrink and leaning on her oft-used plea for pity by referencing her recently passed mother: “After my mom died last year, I gained at least 10 pounds. I know because TMZ was kind enough to publish pictures of me looking very, very soft in the stomach.” How refreshing to discover the secret to overcoming grief caused by the death of a family member: just obsessively google images of yourself in a bikini and concentrating on going down a jean size or two! As for the self-professed chunky toddler, A.C. Slater-turned-reality-trash-host Mario Lopez says he “never feels awake unless I’m sweating,” and tells the mag he exercises “for a minimum of one hour a day.” Which sounds about right, considering his current career responsibilities are limited to applying hair gel before “judging” street dance crews alongside J.C. Chasez!

[Photo credits: Getty]

TV GUIDE [TVG]

The Secret To Looking As 'Fit' As Gwyneth And Beyonce? Starve Yourself Silly, Of Course!

Molly Friedman — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:25:00 EDT

Coming in at number two right after Lesbian Chic on the list of 2008's hottest celebrity trends is the slim fast phenomenon sweeping the pounds off Catherine Zeta-Jones’ ass, Britney Spears’ arms, and pretty much every inch of co-starvation partners Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham. But of course, when Queen of Female Mind Control Oprah Winfrey puts in her two cents on the dieting front, every housewife and Oprah wannabe begins taking dutiful notes on how exactly she’ll take a few pounds off this time around. And according to a piece in the NY Daily News, Detox is the word. From Gwyneth and Beyonce to Ralph Fiennes and Vince Vaughn, these four varieties of temporary "cleansing" yourself are the current diet du jour. And of course, the question is: does it work? And more importantly, is giving up our nightly vino and succumbing to regular colonics worth looking like a lollipop head? Which celebrities are using which method, and visual evidence of their results, if any, after the jump.

Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet: Followers include ridiculously skin-and-bones supe Gisele Bundchen, weight loss master Robin Quivers and the muscular Madonna. The 21-day detox promises devotees to shed 21 pounds in that many days "by subsisting on live juices, enzymes - and regular colonics." Fun!

The Master Cleanser: Reportedly what Beyonce used in order to nab her Dreamgirls role, Vince Vaughn allegedly follows the lemon juice liquid diet, and Jared Leto shed his Chapter 27 weight by drinking the "water mixed with lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper" cocktail as well. Yum!

Dr. Joshi's Holistic Detox: Fans include the clavicle-flashing Gwyneth Paltrow, original waif Kate Moss and currently slim Ralph Fiennes. The main focus is avoiding acidic and toxic foods, but the downside hardly sounds worth it, and sort of explains Kate's moody expressions in photo after photo: "Users report headaches, stomach pains, nausea and fatigue." Even more fun!

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage, FilmMagic]

CELEB DETOX DIETS MAY PROVE HARD TO SWALLOW [NYDN]

Tom Cruise Wants Katie Holmes To Find New, Non Spice Girl Friends

Molly Friedman — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:50:00 EDT

Tom Cruise isn't having the best month. First, a bunch of hooligans slapped his laughy face on some ultra-strong pot and called it Tom Cruise Purple. Then, the feel-good movie of 2008, Valkyrie, got pushed back (making it the feel-good movie of 2009). And now, Victoria Beckham has usurped a bit of his domestic control and transformed Katie Holmes into a fellow stick figurine. And Tom's April blues have reached a breaking point:

"[Tom] is keen to put some distance between his actress wife and Victoria, who have morphed into each other...it concerns Tom that Katie has lost so much weight recently."

Rumors surfaced a few weeks ago that Katie and Posh are fond of splitting meals together, or ordering one tiny entree and cutting the whole thing in half (even the soda). But apparently all this dieting is turning Katie from fit to scary skinny. And Tom, in true form, isn't happy. Frankly, we wouldn't be either if our significant other was following this freaky food regiment: "She is following Victoria's strict 900-calories-a-day eating plan. She is copying Victoria's fad of eating seaweed shakes, frozen grapes and edamame beans. She is tiny." Frozen grapes and seaweed shakes? We would imagine this diet, aside from shrinking Katie's waist size, would wreak havoc on those rare once-a-month occasions when Tom insists she kiss him on the lips.

POSH AND KATIE ACT IS WEARING THIN ON TOM CRUISE [Daily Mail]
TOM WORRIES AS KATIE FALLS FOR PEER PRESSURE [MSNBC]

Trainer To The Stars Sells Out Demi Moore's 'Meaty' Thighs, 'Fleshy' Naomi Watts And 'Soft' Madonna

Molly Friedman — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:40:00 EDT

It's not just British tabloids ripping apart celebrity body parts; now their own trainers are turning against them to make a buck. Fitness expert Rob Parr has written the summer release Star Quality, in which he shells out detail after "fleshy" detail about the problem areas of stars like Demi Moore, Naomi Watts, and Madonna. And though the blurbs on the back merely outline the "types" of bodies each star had (hourglass, long and slender, and athletic, respectively), he delves far deeper into their Before states in the pages: "

[Demi] lacked a defined waist, carried too much meat on her thighs, and was, by movie-star standards, thick overall."

Parr writes of Madonna, "When [she] and I started working together, she was very soft." Madonna, soft? Considering recent pictures of her whether she's airbrushed or not, we didn't realize putting the two in the same sentence was even legal anymore. And poor Watts, whose perfectly fit body provided the only moments of solace throughout the entirety of Funny Games gets the following distinction from Parr: "fleshy...we needed to trim and tighten so that she would fit the mold of a bikini-clad babe." Did he really just say "bikini-clad babe" in a book? Now we understand who's feeding stars impossible-to-believe bites when it comes to blabbing about how much they "chow down" to the press.

[Photo Credit: news.au.com]