According to the NY Post, Donna Geon said that Brando's wish was to be cremated and have his ashes spread over LA's Franklin Park, where Marlon's ashes were also laid to rest. In her corner are Rebecca and Teihoto Brando, both half-siblings of Christian's, who've rallied behind Geon in the battle of the body. Without picking sides or jumping to conclusions (we would never!), we have to admit that Team Geon's lawyer has won major points with us just for this quote alone: "They are just being petty, vindictive, small people who border on loony toons." Anyone who references the work of Friz Frelang is fine by us.

• WILD CHRISTIAN BRANDO DEATH SCENE [NY DAILY NEWS]

• Two 'Winnie The Pooh' Voice Actors Die [NBC10.com]

Some of you probably remember Thompson's in-character antics at a reading in October. We're not going to read too much into that event knowing what we know this morning, preferring to think (denial is so much easier) that HST wanted to give his fans a little taste of Gonzo in its twilight.

• Hunter S. Thompson, 65, Author, Commits Suicide [NYT]


• 'Gonzo' Godfather Hunter S. Thompson Kills Himself [AP]

John Goodman was standing five feet away from me and my friend at the Marilynn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dance and Charm School premiere party, and my friend wanted to introduce herself to him. I joked, "you should ask him if he heard about the rumor that he was dead."

Out of nowhere, this balding bespectacled man pushed into our conversation and insisted, "Of course he's heard about it." I thought the bald man was playing along, and I just sort of smiled. That was until he got right up in my face and started yelling, "You think that's funny? You think that's funny?" I obviously did but wasn't going to say it. He went on, face turning red, "You think it's funny that a man's wife gets a phone call that her husband is dead? Unbelievable. Unbelievable!"

My friend and I decided it was a good time to go talk to Marisa Tomei.

No, it probably wasn't that funny when his wife heard the awful, inaccurate rumor. But when his producers at Center of the Universe got the call that he was dead and the show was coincidentally canceled the next day, well, we bet that was hilarious.

• Debunker: John Goodman, Not Dead Yet [Defamer]


• John Goodman Still Not Dead, But His Show Is [Defamer]

• Johnny Carson, late-night TV legend, dead at 79 [CNN]

We now return you to your regularly scheduled afternoon of quoting The Big Lebowski.

UPDATE: The hoax story's been taken down (update: it's still up here), but if you're curious, we took a screen grab. Click here to rubberneck.

UPDATE: Wow, fake news travels fast. Several readers let us know that an e-mail with the text of the hoax story was being passed around Endeavor as fact, and that they're now recanting the story. Hopefully, they caught the error before the condolence gift baskets went out to his agents at CAA.

• HOAX: John Goodman dead at 53 [mjm.gd-kun.net]

While doing a little statistical analysis on the year in death, I can't help but notice that the death list this year is overwhelmingly composed of Gentiles and heterosexuals—particularly for a list of entertainers. Have the Jewish and Velvet Mafias, working in concert, finally perfected their eternal life machines—and, most importantly, withheld those secrets from the lesser classes? Hooray!

• Year 2004 Bids Farewell to Entertainment Greats

[Ed. note—We strongly discourage our readers from using this information for personal gain on the death pool circuit. Besides, the smart money's always on Andy Dick.]

• Elizabeth Taylor suffers from heart condition [USA Today]