Gawker: defamer, celeb auctions

Buy Lindsay Lohan's Headlight

Mark — Tue, 18 Oct 2005 11:14:36 EDT

Perhaps the most excruciating part about yesterday's technical difficulties was knowing that there was an eBay auction involving an artifact of recent historical significance waiting to be snapped up and having no way to share it with you, the enthusiastic collector of Objects Dislodged From Larger Objects Owned (Or Perhaps Leased) By Celebrities. Behold the alleged passenger side headlight from Lindsay Lohan's recently (and infamously) totaled Mercedes:

THIS IS IT AFTER ALL THE PICTURES WERE TAKEN AN INVESTIGATION DONE THE CAR WAS DELIEVERY THE INSURANCE JUST TO BE LABEL A A TOTAL LOST..THA MEANS THA THE CARS IS SOLD AS A JUNK AND LINDSAY WILL GET A NEW ONE...I WAS REALLY WAITING TO GET THIS IN MY HANNS(FRIEND OF MY WORKS AT THE PLACE WERE THE CAR WAS TAKEN)..... TODAY IS YOU LUCKY DAY THIS IS A ONE OF A KIND ITEM I WILL NEVER PUT ANYTHING LIKE IT THIS IS THE ONLY THING I GOT....YOU ARE BIDDING ON THE PASSENGER SIDE HEDLIGHT OF LINDSAY BLACK MERCEDES..AS YOU CAN SEE IN THE PICTURE THE HEADLIGHT SUFFER MINOR DAMAGE THATS REALLY CLOSE TO WERE THE OTHER CAR HIT..THE ONLY DAMAGE WAS A BROKEN CLIP AT THE BOTTOM SEE PICTURE..THIS BABY IS WORTH $300 DLLS USED...

You heard the man: Today is you lucky day! Act quickly; it could be days before you have another opportunity to own a piece of a luxury bumper car wrecked by the lead-footed, paparazzi-besieged starlet.

LINDSAY LOHAN MERCEDES BENZ HEADLIGHT [eBay via OHNOTHEYDIDN'T]
Previously: Lindsay Lohan Can’t Blame The Paparazzi [Defamer]

Britney's Pumice Stone: Investing In The Future

Mark — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 16:55:40 EDT

In the rapidly approaching future, the DNA that once produced successful pop-stars will be degraded by its commingling with the inferior genes of suspiciously fertile, unemployed background dancers, and a recording industry decimated by the resulting lack of marketable talent will pay any price for a cloneable sample of that prelapsarian, platinum-selling genetic material. It is then that your great-grandchildren will finally recognize your speculative, $250 investment in a pumice stone that may or may not have rubbed against Britney Spears's skin for its genius.

Britney Spears' Pumice Stone [eBay]
Previously: The Britney Economy: Bra Joins Panties On eBay [Defamer]
Buy Britney's Discarded Gum: A New Low For eBay Celebrity Auctions [Defamer]

Jennifer Aniston's Love Letters: Accept No Imitations!

Mark — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 18:21:36 EDT

Not remembering that Jennifer Aniston's teenage love letters won't be up for sale until Friday, we got a little impatient and popped on over to eBay to look for them. Frankly, with so much money potentially at stake, we're surprised to find that only three go-getters are trying to capitalize so far. How hard it is to scribble a credible expression of one's ardor on a scrap on Charmin for a shot at an auction windfall? And we really admire the honesty of the guy who not only admits that his letters are fake, but went through the trouble of inserting himself into some pictures with Aniston anyway. He deserves more than the current high bid of $12.07 just for his note asking Jen to "Please leave the toilet seat up when you're done!"

Aniston Love Letters [eBay]
Jennifer Aniston’s Teenage Love For Sale [Defamer]

Jennifer Aniston's Teenage Love For Sale

Mark — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 15:49:42 EDT

A California lawyer is celebrating the lost love of his youth, a pre-fame, 15-year-old Jennifer Aniston, in the only way that makes sense in the internet era: by auctioning off all of his memories of their summer fling on eBay for a minimum of $100,000:

The package includes: a piece of paper with Aniston's name and phone number written in lipstick, a love letter from Aniston handwritten in red pen, a note written on toilet paper with birthday wishes from Aniston to Baroni on his 17th birthday, a page from Baroni's little black book containing Aniston's contact information, a photo of the pair hugging when they first met in 1974, an autographed photo from the cast of "Friends," a December 2004 copy of In Touch magazine with an article about their relationship and a notarized statement by Baroni certifying and attesting to the authenticity of the materials. [...] "She was very fun and lively, a loving kind of person," [auctioneer Michael] Baroni told the AP during a phone interview Friday. "I think the materials show an innocent look into someone I think is very endearing."

"An innocent look"? Ah, now we get it: No matter what untold riches they might bring, he's keeping the panties for himself.

UPDATE: A spoof auction beats the real one to eBay.

Aniston Love Letters to Be Auctioned [AP]