It's a shame that Robert Downey Jr. is locked into franchise properties until roughly the year 2015, as the now-bankable actor possesses both the singing ability and proven "what the hell" track record for Cleo. And since Soderbergh will need a trim, youthful Marc Anthony to balance out Ray Winstone's Julius Caesar, we imagine that stipulation may clash with the "no diets" rider of 30 Odd Foot of Grunts frontman Russell Crowe.

Thus, Soderbergh may want to consider making a more unconventional choice (an unlikely route for a filmmaker making a 3-D, Guided by Voices-penned musical, we're aware). Why not choose between singing rivals Jamie Foxx and Terrence Howard—one self-enamored, the other "as soft as doctor's cotton"? Can we interest you in either Conchord? Or does the role of Marc Anthony call for the boyish looks and "not entirely present" personality of a David Archuleta?

Oh, who are we kidding. Johnny Depp and Ewan McGregor, call your agents—it's time to go down swinging and singing!

• Hugh Jackman off 'Cleo' wishlist [Variety]

In conjunction with the release of his audience-participatory biopic Che, the Independent quizzed Soderbergh about other famous historical figures portrayed in film. When they brought up the Elizabeth Taylor version of Cleopatra, though, Soderbergh spilled on exactly what he's got in store for his stars:

All I can think of when I watch Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra is, 'Well, it's brave!' She's got both feet in. When you look at what she has to say and what she has to wear and the sets she has to walk around in, again the fact that she kept a straight face during all that, that's a testament to her fortitude. God, I hope we can recreate some of those crazy-ass costumes. Our version [of the Cleopatra story] will be like an Elvis musical in 3-D. It's a total rock'n'roll, 1966 aesthetic – like Viva Las Vegas meets Tommy. I've wanted my whole career to make a musical. And the 3-D makes it more challenging but makes it more fun. Based on the way I want to shoot it, I think it's going to really pay off. But our treatment of her is pretty modern, let's say."

We admire Soderbergh's daring; the moviegoing populace has recently rejected both Jackman and Jackman-toplined musicals, so it takes a special brand of visionary to note, "But those weren't in 3-D!" If the director is looking for some more A-list talent with experience in glossy Hollywood sing-alongs, might we suggest Fergie's labia? We hear the mysterious new ingenue brought out some of Daniel Day Lewis's best work, and is currently looking to go solo.

• Che way: Steven Soderbergh on how to play a famous historical character [The Independent via Movie City News]

Variety reports that Soderbergh will follow his current film The Girlfriend Experience with Cleo, a $30 million project with music provided by Guided By Voices and a script by GBV's bassist James Greer. No one seems to know how or even if this news squares with the Liberace biopic Soderbergh is plotting with Michael Douglas and Matt Damon, but we admit we're a little less intrigued by Cleo knowing that Jackman would not, in fact, play the Egyptian queen. And surely, in a sleek, dark loft somewhere in Australia, a sleepless Baz Luhrmann is wondering why he didn't think of this first.

• Soderbergh to make 3-D 'Cleopatra' [Variety]

Personally I still miss this unmistakable quality, and have to ask, where has it gone? We have no shortage of talent and beauty in Hollywood today, but those stars that come across (to men at least) as having true class, style, and by extension, smarts, seem in low supply. I don't see that rare, ethereal quality in Angelina, Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, or Halle Berry, capable "actors" all. (Admittedly, Laura Linney comes close, but she has a certain earthbound quality; notwithstanding her obvious acting chops, too often she comes off like everyone's sister, the one you instinctively passed over.)

We wouldn't take it that far, but still, this idea that one contemporary actress is the last classy woman standing got us thinking: Pound for pound, what's Joan Allen got that a handful of others after the jump don't?

Patricia Clarkson: She earned an Oscar nod playing up ailing dysfunction in Pieces of April, but she's a revelation of raw, complex class in underseen indies from The Dying Gaul to Lars and the Real Girl to Married Life. Woody Allen should be sued for her character's forced, egregious wimpiness in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Penélope Cruz: Mostly in Spanish-language films, we're afraid, particularly Volver and All About my Mother. But her strides opposite Ben Kingsley in Elegy help us forget her crossover beard efforts in Sahara and Vanilla Sky.

Vera Farmiga: She owned Down to the Bone, overshot hysterically in Joshua, and settled into a tormented, riveting (and generally unseen) sexiness in Quid Pro Quo. Bonus: She belongs here if only for holding her own in The Departed in what's written as little more than a token role for "Anonymous Person with Vagina."

Naomi Watts: Did class and trash with equal aplomb in Mulholland Drive, then slyly revised the role as rags-to-riches starlet Ann Darrow — the only watchable thing opposite Andy Serkis and a green screen in King Kong. Was as classy as they come in little-seen, forgotten The Painted Veil. (Rent it, John Farr.)

Catherine Zeta-Jones: Versatile and gorgeous, too often overshadowed by her male leads in the likes of the Zorro films, Intolerable Cruelty, No Reservations — not to mention in her own marriage. She's reportedly playing Lana Turner in Stompanato, finally giving her a chance at the lead in a melodrama people might actually see. (Sorry, Harvey Weinstein.)

Who did we miss? We know, we know — besides Dakota Fanning.

• Where Are All The Classy, Smart Female Stars Today? [HuffPo]

According to the not-yet-out piece, The Hills’ Audrina Patridge, nude photo aficionado and recent recipient of a brand new pair of boobs, is so focused on maintaining her widely-seen curves that she sports those 4-inch health-impairing stilettos every Sex And The City fan thinks will turn them into Carrie Bradshaw while cleaning house. And thin-as-a-rail Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly uncomfortably yammers on about how she once weighed in at an apparently unacceptable 135 pounds and “literally stopped eating...I’d do Bikram yoga and go to bed. I lost 15 pounds in one month.” We hope the John Mayer tossaway can forgive us for not immediately rising to our feet and giving Minka a standing ovation.

Even picky sperm selector Denise Richards goes overboard in her interview, treating the TVG reporter like a shrink and leaning on her oft-used plea for pity by referencing her recently passed mother: “After my mom died last year, I gained at least 10 pounds. I know because TMZ was kind enough to publish pictures of me looking very, very soft in the stomach.” How refreshing to discover the secret to overcoming grief caused by the death of a family member: just obsessively google images of yourself in a bikini and concentrating on going down a jean size or two! As for the self-professed chunky toddler, A.C. Slater-turned-reality-trash-host Mario Lopez says he “never feels awake unless I’m sweating,” and tells the mag he exercises “for a minimum of one hour a day.” Which sounds about right, considering his current career responsibilities are limited to applying hair gel before “judging” street dance crews alongside J.C. Chasez!

[Photo credits: Getty]

• TV GUIDE [TVG]

She's a poster-girl for gorgeous curves, but Catherine Zeta Jones appears to be in danger of losing her bombshell status. ...

The actresses weight is known to have has fluctuated over the years. Catherine, who is married to Michael Douglas, has told how she 'ate for Wales' when pregnant with her first child, Dylan, now seven.

At her heaviest she weighed 13 stone. After the birth of her daughter Carys five years ago, she used a tough dance-based routine from her movie Chicago to whittle herself into shape.

Representatives for Zeta-Jones furiously challenged the reports, noting that even at her most pregnant the Oscar-winner has never tipped the scales at anything more than 11 stone. Story author "Daily Mail Reporter" insisted s/he stood by the number, though, clarifying the paper's policy that every lost curve is roughly equivalent to .87 stone and that a careful study of the photographic record would speak for itself.

• Where have your curves gone, Catherine Zeta-Jones? [Daily Mail]

boomp3.com


Never wanting to miss out on a fashion trend, Catherine Zeta Jones donned her first pair of tights on the set of her latest film, The Rebound. The Academy Award winner quickly understood why tights had become all the rage with young Hollywood. Zeta Jones said, "They're sort of like a more form fitting pair of sweats. I can run errands or just hang out and still be and feel girly." Zeta Jones stated that she now understands why celebrities like Lindsay Lohan live in them.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

10. Julia Roberts, 2001
9. Daryl Hannah, 1988
8. Hilary Swank, 2005

7. Claudia Schiffer, 1995
6. Reese Witherspoon, 2006
5. Angelina Jolie, 2004.

4. Catherine Zeta-Jones, 2004
3. Charlize Theron, 2004
2. Halle Berry, 2003

And our pick for all-time best-dressed, mostly because she looks so comfortable and glam at the same time: Uma Thurman, redeeming herself for ending up on our Worst Dressed List, in 2006.

• OSCARS 08 [Official Site]

In this week's episode: Luke Wilson; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones; Heath Ledger; Jake Gyllenhaal; Salma Hayek; Kate Beckinsale; Kiefer Sutherland; Jessica Simpson; Stephen Dorff and Lisa Rinna; Cindy Crawford; Steve Martin; Jenny McCarthy; Chloe Sevigny; Nicollette Sheridan; Traci Lords; Jason Lee; David Schwimmer and Cheech Marin; Eric Roberts; Joey Slotnick; Steven Page and Dax Shepherd; Master P. and Danny Bonaduce.

· sighting on saturday afternoon 6/17... luke wilson and his girlfriend politely cutting in line in front of us at neptune's net in malibu. it appeared to be a quick pit stop to pick up two cans of bud light. they got the two cans and walked out the restaurant. a minute later luke walked back in and asked the bus boy if he had seen his 'girlfriend' and is describing her physical appearance when she pops up behind him (she was apparently using the icky port-a-potty bathroom facilities at neptune's net that not even i could bear). the two immediately hopped into his porche and drove away, bud light in tow. not sure if the two cans were for the road or for a romantic light domestic toast on the beach.

· i had lunch at la piazza at the grove in los angeles on saturday june 17 around noon. sitting directly behind me? michael douglas and catherine zeta-jones plus their two kids. I did not turn around to gawk, but did hear them talking from time to time. a friend at my table said that catherine stepped away to take a call at one point and left michael with the kids. they had a time trying to get the kids to eat and apparently michael put one of the kids on his lap and tried to get the kid to eat some pizza. i only saw them as they exited the restaurant. michael was wearing a purple polo shirt, khakis, sunglasses and had the beginnings of a beard. He carried one of their children out of the restaurant. catherine was low-key in a tank top, long flowing skirt... had her hair pulled back in a bun, no make-up that i could tell, and sunglasses. i probably would not have recognized them if i'd seen them somewhere else. our service was a little slow since most of the servers were dividing their time between gawking at the aforementioned family and the world cup match on the television upstairs. they were the only celebs I spotted while in LA, but hey, at least they were A-list!

· Saw Heath Ledger at the West Hollywood Pavillions on his way out, thanking someone for a compliment he had obviously received. Not as short as I had expected, maybe 5' 10", with an absolutely flawless golden complexion, blond hair and a "I'm really a nice guy, but please don't recognize me" sort of look on him (Unlike the patented Piven "You're a nobody, don't look at me" thing).

· Sunday June 18: Saw Jake Gyllenhaal at the weekly Hollywood Farmers Market at Selma and Ivar. He was being stalked by two overweight photographers with telephoto lenses. He turned tail and ran when he saw them.

· I grabbed a glass of wine by the bar at Café Stella in Silver Lake Wednesday night (6-21), where about half the time, you'll spot someone famous. That night, it was Salma Hayek at a corner table, in the midst of an intense discussion with her three male companions. About what, who knows—life, love, art, monobrows—at least that's what I imagine Salma Hayek talks about.

· Kate Beckinsale getting back to her British roots at the Kings Head pub in Santa Monica on Saturday. Weren't there rumblings her and hubbie Len Wiseman were on the rocks? She looked pretty happy hanging with him, her daughter and some random and I don't think she's a good enough actress to have been faking it...

· I saw Kiefer Sutherland & a lady friend yesterday (6/18) at the Mayfair Market at Franklin & Bronson. He was on the deli aisle when I came in & still there when I left 15 minutes later.

· Tuesday - Jessica Simpson walking in Beverly Hills. Flat, pancake butt. At T-Mobile party that night, magically had round, pronounced butt. She must wear "butt pads/silicone butt inserts" as worn in Daisy Dukes in Dukes of Hazzard.

She and two sycophantic girl friends at The Griddle on Sunset. Small frame, giant head and MASSIVE BOOBS, each one bigger than her already large head. I don't know what they were talking about at the table, but for someone with a reputation for being dumb, Jessica seemed able to keep up with the entire conversation.

· Lisa Rinna from Dancing with the Stars and friend having dinner at Nobu in Malibu on Wednesday 6/14, across from them at another table was Stephen Dorff with older random people eating as well.

· Wilshire, just east of Robertson. A BLS BMW 7-Series idles in front of slightly-vampiric skin guru Christina Radu's office (I've seen that woman up close and it looks likes she drinks blood, and it looks like its good for her skin). A tall woman of a certain age steps from the door and toward the car, Greek fishing hat, low rider jeans, small t-shirt. The face looks familiar, pretty, no make-up and has that reddish "I've just been worked over" swelling and flush. It takes a minute, and then its "that's Cindy Crawford." Wow, she looks pretty good for post-facial, no make-up, broad daylight. Into the car and off she goes. Maybe to get ready for the Playboy party she never got
into at her husband's bar...

· Was at Franklin Canyon reservoir and who should drive up but Steve Martin! He looked plain as can be in a white Lexus. I must have looked ridiculous openly staring at him but what can you do, it's STEVE MARTIN! He was ready to go mountain biking apparently. Looked good for his age. He smiled nicely at my irritating stare — and as I walked away I could hear people shouting "Steve Martin! We love you!" His small car was quite different from the usual big black shiny Merc. His head is really big.

Saw Jenny McCarthy at the Whole Foods on Riverside. She had her sunglasses on, no makeup, with her tyke in the shopping cart. This was before the Jim Carrey tongue pics. She looked hot, even with no makeup and sweats. Not the greatest skin, however. Cute kid.

· Leaving the Pet Store in Victor's Square (Bronson and Franklin) at about 4PM Sunday and spot Chloe Sevigny walking into the local dry cleaner. She's wearing a very "Chloe" outfit - gray 80s, asymmetrical lycra top a la Danskin with bold graphic black and white striped mid thigh shorts. No make-up. Showing bold nipples on small low slung breasts. She leaves the dry cleaner and gets into a green Land Rover Discovery, a very "Darian, Connecticut" car. Not a hybrid, not really "bling." Hmmm,

· I was driving home up in the Hills of Beachwood, lamenting (property values aside) what the rise of Hollywood and Vine has done to the neighborhood (making it into what Sunset Plaza was in the mid-90s), and noticed a purple (!) Lamborghini Gallardo parked two doors down. I make a mental note that this is really proving my point. As I get closer, I see that the entire right side is smashed, one end to another. Closer still, I see a front plate made of duct tape and custom H.I.M logos painted on the car and go "fuck, its that Bam Margera loser, hope he's just visiting..." Over the next two days, I see the car three more times in the 'hood. Not a good sign. As Johnny Knoxville lives about a mile up, it sadly makes sense that BAM might be living here now... Ugh!

· Monday, June 18 Nicollette Sheridan and friends munching from a brown box of Cmpartes Cocolates next door on the patio of Srtino restaurant in Bentwood.

· 6/20 Traci Lords at Sport Chalet in the Beverly Connection. She was sort of hiding as I complained to them for not letting me make a $5 purchase with my AmEx and only a xerox of my driver's license. She was very conservatively dressed.

· 6/16, around 6:30pm, was driving west on Sunset Blvd. to get to the Arclight. We were driving behind a nice, shiny new Porsche. My girlfriend noticed it, and said it looked like a spy car. As we switched to the left turn lane, we passed next to it and peeked at the driver. It was Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl), with a neatly trimmed beard, looking a little better in person than on the show.

· Spotted both David Schwimmer and Cheech Marin on AA 1364 from LAX to Chicago Thursday 6/8. Schwim was inconspicuous in an electric blue track jacket and Cheech rocked the aviator sunglasses while reading US Weekly. They sat in the same row (5) but not next to each other. David also had to go to the bathroom frequently.

· Saw Eric Roberts walking towards the bike path in the Palisades on Sunday, coming from one of those all exclusive lunch places. Had to tone down the boyfriend when he said, "Oh, is he related to Julia Roberts??" and I said, "Sssh, he might here you." He looks great though. Purple trunks, nice bod and seemed pretty chill.

· Saw JOEY SLOTNICK walking down Larchmont this morning, Thursday June 22. He was carrying a coffee, bottle of water, and a newspaper. That's pretty much all I have to report. Except to say, if you have friends or relatives in from out of town and they really want to see a "star", take them to Larchmont in the mornings, especially weekends. Hang around the Starbucks/Sam's Bagel/Coffee Bean vicinity and you're virtually guaranteed a B or C level celebrity sighting of the Joey Slotnick variety.

· Tuesday June 20 around 12:30pm-

Steven Page, the lead singer of Barenaked Ladies eating lunch with a pal at Mel's Diner on Sunset Blvd.

Tuesday June 20 around 12:45pm-

Dax Shepherd, sporting a terrible looking mohawk (which hopefully is for a movie role) and a pal eating lunch at Mel's Diner on Sunset Blvd.

· I saw Master P., with large entourage in tow, at the Bed Bath and Beyond in West LA on Sunday 6/18. I was dying to see what totally mundane, normal thing he brought 15 people with him to buy ("Come on, dogs, get in the Escalade. I need a panini press, yo.") but we were left before I could see. He's really tall and his feet are size of canoes. No wonder he sucked on that dancing show.

· Saturday 2pm - Danny Bonaduce on his Harley at the corner of Franklin & Argyle. The people in the car next to him rolled down their window to say something complimentary. He said thanks and gave them a big smile before pulling away.

I was never a jealous woman, and if I were, I d never tell a reporter! she said. I never had a fight over jealousy and regarding Michael, if a man looks at him, I ll be angry, but if it s a woman it s better for me because with her, I ll solve the problem with a sword.

The swordplay talk, of course, is just needless bravado. Zeta-Jones knows that even the most opportunistic, money-grubbing tart probably wouldn't be willing to go through with the laborious ritual of stretching and re-stapling her husband's skin every morning, even for a shot at his considerable fortune.

• Zeta-Jones finds super-skinny women scary (second item) [MSNBC]
• Michael Douglas Discovers Fountain Of Youth [Defamer]