Aiken, America's favorite gay father who was also the runner-up to Ruben Studdard in Idol's second season, charges his fans $29.95 annually for the "Ultimate Membership" at ClayOnline.com, which is the only way to view his blog posts and cruise around in his chat room or on his message board, but a tipster with access to the site passed this along. Here's how Aiken responded today to a generic "what did you think about the show?" question posed by a fan on the site:

Now that it's all over, and for the record.... I couldn't be happier about the way AI ended this year. I only turn the show on once a season, and only to see what the set looks like each year. This year, I happened to turn it during the minute that Adam Lambert was singing "Ring of Fire" and, at that moment, thought my ears would bleed. Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening! I wasn't really a fan and found myself surprised whenever folks told me that they liked him. Granted, I never saw another performance (and many folks who I trust said that he was great) but I can't imagine I would have enjoyed it. Just not my cup of tea at all. To each his own. I never saw Kris sing on the show, but whether he was good or not is really relative. It's usually a matter of taste, right? But Idol is not always a matter of musical taste only. It's about the person you like. From what little I saw, Kris seemed likable. (That's not to say that Adam isn't just as likable as anyone.. maybe more so... I don't know) When Ruben and I were standing next to each other every night (many years ago) you had two equally talented, equally unlikely, equally unpolished contestants.... so it really was a matter of taste as to who was voted for. While some may argue that one of us was hyped more than the other, I don't feel that was the case. However, this year, there was an obvious bias. Not even having watched the show, I can tell you that I was WELL aware of the bias from the judges as to who should win. In my opinion, that is awfully unattractive. I don't think I am alone

In my opinion, it all often comes down to that last night of voting. Until the finale, folks are voting for the contestant that they want to see continue. But, I believe that on that last night, the dynamic changes. No longer forced to choose one person that they want to see win, the audience can effectively vote AGAINST the person that they don't want to see win. In the case of season two this might have happened. There may have been some folks who voted for myself or Ruben because they didn't like the other of us. I was the nerdy little girly boy who some didn't want to see win, so they may have voted for Ruben. I don't know. .. But again, I feel that Ruben and I were fairly matched. We both had our detractors and negatives, but I feel we were both very worthy of being on that stage in that moment, and either of us would have been worthy of winning. The show was different then, and folks made it in seasons 1-3 because they were "real" people who happened to sing/entertain well. But, somewhere along the way, AI stopped being about real people.

Aiken also elaborated on why he thought Kris Allen won this year's competition:

In a battle between David and Goliath, my money is on David!

I think many voters got sick of being "told who to vote for". I think many were turned off by the blatant favoritism shown towards one contestant. Therefore, on that last night, they used their votes against a contestant that they were tired of hearing about and for the contestant who had been written off. And, at the same time, I think they voted AGAINST an American Idol that has, for four years now, been more about the slick productions and polished contestants than it has been about finding the raw talent that it did in its first three seasons.

Those votes for Kris were also votes to return the show to its roots of finding "real" contestants with undiscovered talent and giving them the chance to grow and shine. They were votes that said "we're tired of seeing contestants who already seem to know it all".

Will American Idol choose to listen to the resounding and clarion call that those voters gave them?.... "Enough with the pretention. More Rubens, more Clays, more Fantasias and Tamyras and Kellys please." My faith has always been in the voters. I think they have gotten it right every year (mine included). It's now up to American Idol to decide if it will finally REALLY listen to the folks that keep it on the air.

Wow. That's some hardcore bitchiness right there! However, we can't help but wonder if it's derived from the fact that Idol producers recently did everything they could to crush Aiken's dream of doing a duet with Lambert. Hmmm, you think?

Instead, look to E!'s Daily 10, which sought the starlet's reaction to mildly critical comments — "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?'' — attributed last week to original Bonnie Faye Dunaway. Clearly the Oscar-winner has some catching up to do with the glimmering Duff canon, but it's now evident that the young performer doesn't plan to wait around for that enlightenment:

Regarding comments Dunaway made about Duff not being a “real actress” in the new The Story of Bonnie and Clyde, Duff says: “I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know…. I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too."

Whoa, Hilary. The plastic surgery card? Not nice — and quite possibly a self-destructive tactical error for a young lady who has the dirty bomb that is Agent Cody Banks sitting out unprotected for anyone who wants to detonate it. Not that Dunaway will stop there; expect her also to retroactively invoke a use for wire hangers if and/or when she gets the chance. This is war.

• 'Daily 10' [E!]

"There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening," Aniston said. "I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss."

Aniston then shook her head in disbelief.

"That stuff about how she couldn’t wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool," Aniston said.

US Weekly also points to a critical juncture in Vogue's interview with Aniston, during which she asked her interviewer to turn off his tape recorder while priming him for their Jolie discussion. Or something: The exchange is lost to history now, a Nixonesque lapse we can only imagine involved an off-the-record call to her publicist to see if "uncool" sounded any more diplomatic than "utterly beneath contempt, Christ I hate her" or perhaps a brief break to extract the "Bust-Up Clippings, Vol. 4" scrapbook for the type of pinpoint accuracy Vogue's factcheckers demand.

• BREAKING NEWS: Jennifer Aniston: What Angelina Jolie Did Was 'Really Uncool' [US Weekly]

The Daily Mail reports that Vogue's December issue features cover girl Aniston posing along with the quote, "What Angelina did was very uncool" — one of the decade's more reserved understatements, no doubt, coming almost four years after Jolie's trysts with her Mr. and Mrs. Smith co-star Brad Pitt led to his and Aniston's divorce. The rest is clan-breeding, burger-photographing history, but an insider says Vogue will do what it can next month to restore Aniston's pride:

The source added: "This certainly raises the bar on celebrity profiles. Jennifer opens up about her sex life, her career, and her feelings about life after her divorce. She must have had a lot on her mind, because she lets go on everything."

MailOnline has learned that Miss Aniston's new Vogue appearance features the actress posing in erotic designer swimsuits and bearing her toned body on the sun-kissed beaches of Malibu.

"This thoroughly re-establishes her credibility as a sex symbol," the source went on, adding: "Her body has never looked tighter or more fit."

Good for her! The issue should spark a run on newsstands when it arrives on shelves this week, but that will be nothing compared to the clever Marley & Me "Pretty Fucking Unhappy Meal" tie-in at McDonald's, which Fox expects to court the key jilted-ex demo that can give this holiday classic —and its heroic star — the legs its deserves.

• 'What Angelina did Was Very Uncool'... [Daily Mail via Cover Awards]

As none other than Defamer first reported back in April of 2006, the newly single Simpson handled her pouty grief by shoving her cleavage in scented cinema revolutionary Brett Ratner's smelly face, to the dismay of rumored Ratner tossaway Lindsay Lohan. After a Simpson hanger-on called Lohan a "bitch," the then-closeted lesbian allegedly lunged towards their table, held back by the heroic hack himself. A year later, entrenched in John Mayer's predatory grip, Jessica was said to have declared war against her own sister Ashlee after Mayer got the two mixed up in old photos. The rivalry ended with Jessica stating to the press that she was "no longer the girl with potential," but a "blessed butterfly" instead. Triumph! And later that year, the NY Post claimed the amnesia-ridden Jessica became furious after hearing engaged Eva Longoria had dared to be "friendly and polite" to then-ex Mayer, and went on a name-calling rant through New York.

Our favorite tale, however, occurred right on the heels of her anti-PETA message tee bomb drop. Some gossips say the shirt had nothing to do with fuzzy wuzzies or pro-fur campaigns, but was meant as a message to Jesus fan and Tony Romo ex, Carrie Underwood. Underwood won the group's infamous Leno-monologue-staple Sexiest Vegetarian title back in 2005, and Simpson has supposedly been jealous of her whipped boyfriend's ex since day one of their ridiculous union. So in the end, Anderson should probably put the venom away and align with Simpson — they're both failed actresses whose only chance of maintaining "celebrity" is shoving their ample cleavage in the faces of hacks who'll give them their precious screen time.

[Photo credits: Getty]

• PAMELA ANDERSON CALLS JESSICA SIMPSON A BITCH AND A WHORE [The Sun]

After Denise sternly yet comically puts all those husband-stealing rumors to bed, Whoopi Goldberg opens up her patented can of Whoop Ass and grills the Jessica Rabbit understudy on why she would consider dragging her two young daughters through reality trainwreck hell. But Denise is no sissy, and asks her (twice!) if she'd even seen the show. Whoopi assures her she has with a nervous nod and a "Yes, ma'am," but we're not true believers. If she had, wouldn't she have learned by now that Richards is not the kind of guest you actually throw thinking cap type questions at?

• THE VIEW [ABC]

"Davis, the attacker in the movie, was supposed only to simulate violence.But as she raised and swung her right foot, encased in a black anklestrapped shoe, she made contact with Crawford's head, gashing her scalp, which needed three stitches, and causing a lump the size of an egg."

Both women survived the shoot, and Davis would even earn an Oscar nomination—which she'd lose to Anne Bancroft. Crawford would of course go on to live in infamy as the subject of Faye Dunaway's kabuki-inspired turn as the dry-cleaning-averse actress in Mommie Dearest. Davis, meanwhile, would too wind up the subject of an unflattering memoir by one of her children, but eventually be better remembered for her timeless advice on the best way an aspiring starlet could get into Hollywood.

• The bitter sexual jealousy that made Bette Davis wage war on Joan Crawford [Daily Mail]

She was crying her eyes out the other night, upset over a fight she had with her girlfriend Sam Ronson, who was deejaying. "They had a full-blown fight”...Lindsay kept wiping her tears.

And who of all people was there to comfort the mink-stealing minx? The very same Hills star seen downing shots of tequila with Lohan just last week...

According to the NY Post, Lindsay was playing the role of groupie to her domestic partner Samantha Ronson during a gig at Crown Bar, but for unknown reasons, things went south and Lindsay left the bar in tears. Misty whiskey-colored memories of the days before rehab, indeed. But in a strange twist, The Hills very wise queen bee Lauren Conrad was there to soothe the sobs. One can only hope that MTV's camera crews were following LC around that night and captured the action. And, after some of her recent issues, Lindsay sure could use the paycheck.

• FEELING LO [NY Post]
• SURVEILLANCE [NYDN]

Apparently, two weren't speaking to the third until literally seconds before they took the stage. Conan didn't name names, and Leno, failing to realize that identifying the Angel serving diva bitchitude would ingratiate him with angry Gays, didn't press him on the matter. After taking in Conan's story, we invite you to revisit the reunion, and decide for yourselves which was the odd-Angel-out. Our bet's on brunettes vs. blonde.

• The Tonight Show

"[Lindsay] arrived at the Scandinavian Style Mansion soiree [and] reportedly threw a 'hissy fit' after seeing 'Paris Hilton Handbags' printed on the red carpet sponsor board. 'We were never told that Paris was part of the event,' [her rep] tells E! News. 'Nor did we know there was a liquor sponsor. She wouldn't have participated.'"

E! Online reports that Lindsay attended some gift bag suite party on Friday night, but anger ensued once she realized Paris' glittertastic bags were part of the swag, meaning Paris' logo was scattered everywhere. A source said the fright left her "grumpy" at the party, and she only stayed for less than an hour (only? How long should it take to grab fifty bags of free shit and jet?). But prior to the latest incident of Bimbo Summit Alum showdowns, Lohan reportedly started cursing and screaming after receiving a burrito with onions on it while filming a credit card commercial. The Daily Mirror claims Lindsay "threw into a rage" after seeing the halitosis-enabling dish, and screamed "I didn't fucking order this!" at a worker on the set. With two breakdowns and counting, how long will it be before she crashes the set of Living Lohan and starts pummeling through her secret compartments for that Just In Case Of Emergency stash?

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• LILO SEES RED OVER RED CARPET SIGNAGE [E!]
• LINDSAY LOHAN GOES CRACKERS AFTER FINDING ONIONS IN HER BURRITO [Daily Mirror]

"Who is she? Oh, that girl in 27 Dresses?"

But is Hudson's naiveté genuine or might she just be jealous of the fact that Heigl's 27 Dresses tap danced all over Fool's Gold at the box office (27 Dresses has a cume of $74.4MM, while Fool's Gold is stuck at a $58m gross to-date). Call us crazy, but we think that Kate's feigned ignorance of the Emmy winning emasculator is a direct result of the latter.

• 'GOLD' STAR DISSES '27 DRESSES' BEAUTY [AOL News]

Us quotes a source as saying Aniston considered the evening "the perfect chance [for closure.] She said the stress of having to avoid them was more painful than seeing them." Which is admittedly far more mature than our usual avoid-exes-at-all-costs method. So there was Jen, beaming and ready for Angie's promised make-up, knowing fully well that her enormous belly had made a jaw-dropping cameo at the Independent Spirit Awards, but the future mother of seven couldn't show her face. That's "power"? Sounds more like cowardice to us.

• HOW ANGELINA JOLIE KEEPS THE POWER OVER JENNIFER ANISTON [Us]

But while we expected things to be wild, we didn't predict being flies on the wall for the mother of all cat-fights between the pair:

We watched open-mouthed as Lindsay pointed at Paris and snarled: "What the hell is that bitch doing here? I didn't know she was on the list."

To which Paris spat back: "F*** off you bitch." [...]

A source close to the pair explained to us: "Both of them want to work with Timbaland to revive their faltering music careers."

Have you ever? Those two famous women will stop at virtually nothing to work with the world's most sought-after music producer, including launching profanity-laced vitriol at one another [sigh...uncomfortably long pause], the likes of which the world has rarely seen!

• Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton fight at Grammys party [mirror.co.uk]

In retrospect, we suppose it could've gone down a lot worse. Amy Adams is a true saint for not responding to Natalie Morales clear attempts at baiting her into a catfight (check out the overwhelming look of condecension on Morales' face after she says, "Oh, you had a good time doing that?"). But what we're wondering is this: other than attempting to embarrass Amy Adams on national television (subtext: "Was it fun being a ho?"), what exactly did Morales hope to accomplish with this line of questioning? We've spent hours trying to figure it out, and we can't come up with anything. All we know for sure is that not even Chris Hansen would have stooped this low.